I just really love Aurora’s parents… they’re so cute! Cole thinks he’s pretty sauve with his flirtation but he crumbles when Dawn does anything flirtatious, they’re both playfully competitive with showing appreciation of each other… ❤️
Challenge to self: write a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. With pirates. And a disgustingly sweet happy ending.
Basically: he gets stranded on a seemingly deserted island, finds a hoard of gold and/or shiny stuff in an underwater cave, nicks it because pirate. Cue angry shark girl coming for his blood, and he can’t even build a raft to escape because she keeps destroying them.
I want you all to know how hard it is to be who I am, with the interests I have, existing in the middle of a fucking desert. *kicks dirt* *but like not too hard because it’ll stir up dust and I have asthma*
So, this scene always amuses me. Let me tell you things!
Barbossa eating slices of apples with a danty fork and his pinky all extended. His general attitude and body language. Iggy Azalea probably following behind in a row boat scaring away mermaids lest their heads explode (might explain why the they didn’t bother the ship until it was anchored).
I like that they made a point for us to see Barbossa fill his teacup with alcohol. We view this as humor or even shocking, “I don’t think he’s allowed to do that, how unprofessional”. However, beer/grog (heavily diluted) was standard for sailors, helped prevent scurvy and was easier to keep than fruit.
Fun fact aside, look how desperate he pours that shit, like “oh God,” as he sees Gillette making his way on over. Barbossa already knows the whole crew just standing there, waiting. “Quickly. Shove this apple in my mouth, before I gotta acknowledge this shit”.
“Aye. Mermaids. (Ya dumb fucks).”
He has a separate cup of precious fresh clean water. So extra.
Mostly though, Gillette. Poor Gillette. Survived Barbossa in Curse of the Black Pearl, only to serve him in Stranger Tides. His distaste. His irritation. Forced formalities and etiquette. Look at his face. He is so done.
A quick art trade with @inkshift , for inktober :) This is Battle Bacon. Swipe right for the original design, and check out his work ;) What should I draw tomorrow? #arttrade #battle #bacon #cat #exoskeleton #robot #pirate #canopener #fanart #illustration #sykosan #sketch #inktober #inktober2018 https://www.instagram.com/p/BpKELM-FuL_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ou9se23vszp
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
