Two years ago, was when Diluc Ragnvindr met Jean Gunnhildr. Crepus planned a party to welcome and introduce his adopted son Kaeya to the people. The Gunnhildr clan had been known to be rather close with the Ragnvindr family for centuries, and their relationship has been beneficial for Monstadt, and so it came to no surprise that the Gunnhilr clan would have their own representatives at the party.
It was even quite favorable that the next clan leader of the Gunnhildr so happened to be of the same age as the successor of the Ragnvindr’s Winery. The only problem was the eight-year-old Jean, who had become known to be too mature for her age, was in the corner observing the merriment with an indifferent expression. The Gunnhildr family members present were rather displeased with the child, and yet it came to no surprise, she was already known to be rather unapproachable.
What a waste of a good opportunity.
Jean was thankful that her mother could not attend the party due to prior obligations, at least now she wouldn’t worry about her mother’s direct scolding.
She had observed the red-haired boy for a few minutes now, and had gotten bored that her cold eyes started to drift to other things. Diluc seemed to be such a bright child and Jean had missed the pair of red eyes that had caught her presence or lack thereof. Diluc excused himself from the children around his age who were trying to have better relations with him and made his way to the blonde girl who was looking at the buffet table absentmindedly.
“Hello.” Diluc said, stopping a meter away from Jean who was startled by the sudden greeting. She stood properly from leaning on the wall as she stared at Diluc with wide eyes.
“Uhm, greetings, I am Jean of house Gunnhildr.” Jean placed her right fist over her hand as she bowed by bending her torso slightly. They had not formally met, and she felt that she had to introduce herself first. But she heard the boy chuckle and she looked up at him.
His eyes were bright and there was a stifling radiance that was coming from him that she couldn’t help but flinch.
“Hello, I am Diluc of Ragnvindr house, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He replied courteously and there was silence between them. Diluc noticed that Jean’s grey eyes glanced behind him, from the direction he had come. He then stood beside her, on her left and leaned on the wall as she had done prior.
“I noticed you from over there.” He glanced over at the other children who seemed to have scattered the moment he faced their direction, Jean just pressed her lips as she avoided the other kids’ gazes. “Why didn’t you go over there with everyone?”
“We don’t get along.” She replied indifferently as she tried to make herself small as she started feeling her relatives’ eyes on her. She was convinced her relatives were looking at her and thinking that she was finally being useful at this event and that she should utilize this opportunity well.
“And why not?” He glanced at her, and she was surprised.
“You’re interested in me?” She asked softly, almost rather breathless. He looked at her confused with a slight tilt with his head.
“Why?” His tone slightly raised indicating if there should be something he should worry about. “Are you sick?” She looked at him and she smiled softly and this time it was DIluc who was taken aback.
“No, nothing like that.” She said in a rueful tone as she turned her gaze at one kid. “I’m not so friendly as you can probably tell. And my interests with the other children are– it is very different.” She sighed.
“I heard, you don’t go out of your house, is what they told me.” Diluc said and he observed Jean press her lips.
“I have other things to concern myself with.” Jean replied in a clipped manner. “Congratulations on getting your vision.” She added awkwardly as she looked at her right slightly.
“Oh yes, thank you.” Diluc replied and felt bad for Jean. He heard that her mother has made sure she puts her studies first which was why the other kids did not get along with Jean because Jean herself could not find the time to interact with others unless on a function like this. To make matters even worse, her interest revolved around combat, there were only a few kids who were interested in combat that would actually attend events like this.
“I think your brother looks uncomfortable.” Jean said when the silence grew longer and Diluc stayed by her side. Diluc glanced at where his brother was, Kaeya looked nervous as he was being surrounded by other kids his age.
“It seems like that is the case.” Diluc replied standing upright, Jean sighed internally. She thought that this was probably the end of this interaction, the most she had talked to someone her age with the other party initiating the conversation.
“Why don’t we go help him out?” Diluc offered and Jean was surprised as she whirled her head to his direction. She wanted to ask him if he was sure, if he really wanted to still talk to her, but Diluc held his hand out for her and there were unexplainable emotions that enveloped her.
She placed her hand over his and inhaled sharply knowing that this was something she would normally not do. “Alright.”
Diluc smiled at her and she thought that his charisma was very magnetic. Diluc brought Jean all the way to Kaeya who looked overwhelmed.
“I will be borrowing my brother for a moment, I would like him to formally meet someone.” Diluc said, swooping in to help his brother and bringing Jean along. The way Diluc spoke made Jean feel like they have been friends for a long time, it was odd and comforting and so very foreign. She didn’t have any friends because she found that she was not given the opportunity to, unless of course it was for business, which was her purpose here at this party.
~.~.~.~.~
Three months, that was how long Diluc had not seen Jean. Today he had come again at her doorstep, but this time he would not be turned away, this time he had a purpose– a reasonable cause to see her. Perhaps not today, but he will see her soon.
Diluc knocked at the door and Jean’s butler greeted him.
“Hello, Clarence.” Diluc smiled at the elderly man whose expression was flat.
“Greetings Young Master Ragnvindr, but I am sad to inform you that Lady Jean is quite busy today too.” Hearing Clarence say the same excuse without even waiting for Diluc to say the purpose of his visit just made Diluc smile politely.
“I understand, but that is not my purpose today.” Diluc replied with a cordial tone. He couldn’t be angry at Clarence, he was likely just following the orders of Frederica. “I won’t be long, I just came to personally send the invitation for my birthday party. As our two families have been close for generations, and even more so now because Jean and I are close friends.”
Clarence blinked and a smile tugged at the edges of his face as he stared at Diluc. His eyes tell Diluc that he did well.
“I will personally send it to Lady Frederica and will respond immediately.” Clarence put his hand out and Diluc pulled the invitation from his inner jacket pocket with a smile.
“I appreciate it a lot. Have a good day, Clarence.” Diluc gave a small nod and turned on his heel when he saw Clarence nod back. Diluc then went inside his family’s carriage.
“So?” Kaeya asked Diluc who settled on the seat in front of him.
“I gave the invitation and as usual it is Clarence who opened the door with an explanation that Jean was too busy, so she could not meet me.” Diluc responded looking at the Gunnhildr mansion.
“She will surely go, Lady Frederica would never not attend a function that shows the closeness of our family.” Kaeya replied with a clipped tone and Diluc nodded.
“You are absolutely correct, let us hope that she would not do something unexpected and choose not to go.” Diluc said and their ride back home was done in silence. Kaeya was quietly observing Diluc’s serious expression and he thought that this was the first time he had seen his brother like this. Even with such an expression plastered on Diluc’s face, Kaeya felt that his brother was bound for great things.
“The party is for next week, I really hope Lady Frederica will attend.” Diluc sighed leaning back on his seat.
That evening Crepus received a letter of acceptance for the invitation sent out by Diluc from Frederica, that letter came along with a letter for Diluc from Jean.
“Diluc, I have good news.” Crepus said entering Diluc’s bedroom, Kaeya on Diluc’s bed reading while Diluc was on his desk studying. Diluc turned to the door upon hearing his father’s voice.
“Frederica accepted the invitation.” Crepus told his son with a neutral look and tone. Diluc nodded at his father as he looked back at his desk.
“That is good to hear.” He responded just as neutral as his father while Kaeya was glancing between the two silently.
“And there is a letter,” Diluc’s head quickly turned to his father upon hearing this. “From Jean.” A vague smile tugged at Crepus lips, Diluc was already at his feet and running to his father who held a simple letter.
Diluc snached it and quickly said his thanks. Crepus couldn’t help but laugh at Diluc and Kaeya tried covering his giggles.
Diluc cleared his throat standing by his chair and opened the letter and sighed before reading it.
Dear Diluc,
My closest friend, whom I have not seen for some time, my sincerest apologies. I have been very busy as of the late, but I do hope it does not change our friendship. I was glad to have been told that you sent your birthday invitation yourself. I wrote this letter to personally let you know that I will be in attendance, I hope– despite my absence our friendship is still strong.
Sincerely, Jean
Diluc knew the moment he held the letter that Jean’s mother would check her letter before sending it to the Ragnvindr residence. But at least he knew that she was alright, that their friendship was not affected with what he had done. He sighed aloud and happened to look at his father, Diluc was surprised to see his father’s serious gaze.
“Everything is alright, father.” Diluc informed and his father and Kaeya sighed loudly. Diluc pressed his lips mildly surprised that his father and brother were actually waiting for his reaction. Diluc cleared his throat again and sat down.
“Well…” Kaeya broke the silence as he placed his book face down as he neared the edge of Diluc’s bed. Diluc put out parchment from the drawer on his right.
“Jean will be attending my birthday.” Diluc replied, smiling up at his family.
“That is good news, son.” Crepus sighed again, truly happy for his son. Crepus had noticed that Diluc and Jean seemed to be very close with one another. He had even suspected that perhaps Diluc even likes Jean. It has come to a point where Crepus had already prepared himself for Diluc to tell him that he wants to propose to the young heir of the Gunnhildr’s. The day has not yet come, but he believed that it was just a matter of time.
“I will send a response to Jean’s letter and have it sent out for tomorrow morning.” Diluc said, dipping his quill in the bottle of ink and writing on the parchment.
“Son–” Crepus had begun but instantly was tackled by Kaeya.
“Father!” Kaeya glared at the older man in an endearing way, and Crepus sighed again and patted Kaeya’s head.
“Alright, you two seems so busy, this old man should get going.” Crepus said and Diluc looked at his father.
“Have a good evening then, father.” Diluc replied.
“Yes, I have a lot of paperwork to get back to.” Crepus added, patting Kaeya’s head one last time.
“Good night, father!” Kaeya happily responded and Crepus slowly retreated out of the room, looking at his two sons with proud eyes.
“I’m truly glad you two get along.” He added before stepping out the door of Diluc’s room.
“I am too.” Kaeya smiled at his adopted father, leaning on Diluc’s door. Before closing the door Kaeya gave one last wave and gently closed the door.
“Well then, are you going to be preparing your birthday party yourself?” Kaeya inquired and Diluc turned to his brother.
“If you’d like, why don’t you help me?” Diluc offered with a smile and Kaeya nodded enthusiastically.
The evening of Diluc’s birthday eventually came, Jean entered the hall with her family. Diluc was surrounded by people, happily chatting away. Her first thought when her eyes laid on him, was that this scene seemed awfully familiar. It had brought her back to the time where they had met. Diluc was very charismatic and his background would naturally incentivize people to approach him and yet he was patient and open.
Diluc catched her wandering eyes and she casually avoided his red gaze.
“Don’t do anything to ruin the Gunnhildr name.” Frederica strictly commanded when she noticed Diluc’s eyes land on her daughter.
“Of course, I would never do such a thing, mother.” Jean replied as she looked down on the floor to avoid her mother’s scrutiny. Before Frederica could add anything else, Crepus approached them with a friendly smile.
“Frederica!” He greeted the older woman first.
“Hello, Crepus.” Frederica said with a tight but polite smile.
“Where is Seamus?” Crepus inquired when he saw Jean and Barbara but not their father.
“He was a little busy with work, he said he will try his best to catch up. I hope you do not mind.” Frederica said and Crepus nodded with an understanding smile.
“Of course, that is no issue, I am a single parent, I can totally understand.” Crepus smiled at the kids by Frederica.
“Barbara seems rather shy.” Crepus commended upon seeing Barbara hiding behind her older sister. “Doesn’t matter, let us let the children go and play!” Crepus quickly added so that Frederica would not say something to keep her kids by her side.
Frederica narrowed her eyes for a moment at his suggestion, but cannot say a thing in front of all these people. She smiled tightly and lightly urged her children to go with a motherly tone.
“Jean.” Barbara mumbled as she poked her older sister on her back, Jean shifted her body a bit and held Barbara’s hand.
“Then we will be on our way.” Jean gently pulled Barbara’s hand and they walked to where the children were socializing. Jean outwardly looked indifferent but inside, she thought that going towards the other kids was something unpleasant. The other kids became friendly towards her after Diluc befriended her two years ago, but they only get to talk on functions like this. Thus her friendships with other people her age seemed shallow and superficial.
Jean had just walked a couple meters but she was still nervous. She wasn’t sure how she would talk to them, she doesn’t keep touch with other kids her age. Her training to be the next Gunnhildr Clan Leader takes precedence over anything, even building connections.
“Jean!” Kaeya’s voice came from their right and the pair of siblings stopped and looked at Kaeya’s direction. “Barbara.” Kaeya stopped near Barbara with a smile and Barbara smiled and her eyes twinkled as she stretched her hand out to Kaeya.
Jean sighed, “Alright, you two go and play.” Kaeya turned to Jean with a smile. “Take good care of my sister.” She added with a strict tone and Kaeya bowed his head seriously.
“Of course.” And Kaeya brought Barbara somewhere not towards the other kids. Since Barabara wasn’t with Jean anymore she felt that it wasn’t necessary to go to the other kids. She had just wanted to go to the other kids so Barbara would have friends, but with her gone she didn’t need to. It was Barbara’s first official party.
Jean found herself leaning against the wall looking at everyone else. This was oddly familiar, studying the crowd at the edge. Jean spotted her mom talking with the adults, making her connections stronger and Jean instantly looked down hoping her mother didn’t spot her. What would she say? She was not acting like a Gunnhildr Clan Leader, Jean has to be sociable.
She sighed as she looked at the corner. She knows she should socialize, she knows she has to have perfect form and she knows she has to be precise and accurate, nothing less than impeccable is demanded of her.
“Jean, I’m glad you made it.” Diluc’s voice came from her front and she looked up with startled eyes.
“Diluc.” She said as she looked up at Diluc. “This seems awfully familiar.” She laughed a little with pressed lips.
“Huh, actually now that you mentioned it.” Diluc teased as he stood beside her leaning against the wall too, but this time around their elbows almost touching. “Now, this really came full circle.” He added staring at the other kids, this was really like two years ago.
“Thank you.” Jean whispered and Diluc turned to look at her.
“For what?” He asked confusedly.
“I know you planned this for me.” Jean said, turning to Diluc with certain eyes and he smiled back at her.
“Now, I felt like it was my fault too.” He quietly added.
“It wasn’t.” Jean instantly replied but he looked at her with uncertainty. “If I didn’t meet you, I’d probably still be at the corner like this. So, yes there is a lot to say thank you for.”
“I don’t think you would be in the corner.” He said his eyes were clear.
“You’re right, I’d probably be socializing out of obligation. Which I should really be doing right now.” Jean said playfully with expressive expressions and Diluc smiled.
“I do rub into you.” He said bumping into her playfully and she giggled.
“Kaeya and Barbara have become really close.” Jean remarked with a contented smile. “I have to thank you for that too.”
“Hmm, I think it isn’t just just me.” Diluc replied.
“Barbara is a cheerful and innocent child, I try my best to keep it that way.” Jean sighed as she closed her eyes. She will protect her sister.
“You are a good sister, Jean.” Diluc said with pressed lips.
“You are a good brother too, Diluc.” She replied back with a smile.
For those who have overactive guilt complexes like me…
Additionally, for the vast majority of human history the nuclear family either did not exist or existed as an integrated part of a larger family unit. People did not live alone. Which means people didn’t eat alone. Which means people didn’t cook alone. Meals were a large group endeavor with many people sharing all of the duties.
The idea that only one person would habitually do all aspects of cooking for multiple other people was invented in the comparatively severely recent history.
Human history is something like 200,000 years long. Urbanization which started some of these process that we consider normal today, started around about 7000 years ago. So the idea of anything like this at all, let alone being a dominant way, has only taken up about 3.5% of our most recent history.
That 3.5%, as above, was mostly in the context of people delegating food tasks for money and having other people cook for them a notable portion of the time.
We really only see the modern way of looking at things begin to emerge as a consequence of class division during the industrial revolution. Where how much time could be devoted to cooking and housework depended on socioeconic status. So we’re talking kinda around the mid-ish 1700′s. Or somewhere around the most recent POINT fifteen percent 0.15% of human history.
As the Industrial Revolution evolved. Poor people, men and women, had to spend most of their time at work. It was only in the growing middle class where there was enough wealth for one person to support a family and to therefore delegate the JOB of being a housewife. This was done in part to mimic wealthier people who could PAY for staff to do that work. Essentially having a housewife was a status symbol. It showed that the family was of a higher socio-economic level than the alternative. If you’ve seen Downton Abbey, then you have some idea of how the wealthy lived, there was no housewife making food and individual staff did not usually make food for their individual families, instead it was a paid group effort where everyone ate from the same stores and effort that was delegated around. It was the specific space of the middle class that was trying to thread that needle of the woman who had the wealth to have her primary task to be in charge of her household but did not have the wealth to delegate those tasks to others.
Behold the housewife. This is incidentally why she is shown as glamorous. Because she is that status symbol, a way to show the family’s wealth.
Then came World War 2. And if you really want to know where the modern way of looking at things came from this is it. Less than 100 years ago. Less than 0.05% of our history. WW2 started with all of this and then took male factory workers away, creating a deperate need for women to take over that job.
The state called:
There was active recruitment. Forget being a Housewife, the state needs you. there wasn’t really a rosie the riveter by the way, this was Rosie, the model, but Rosie was a fictional character the same as Paul Bunyan, a creation for the sake of advertising / propoganda.
Fine. But two things happened.
The majority of food production was taken over by companies delegated by the state, to provide food for the war effort and those in support of the war effort. This will come back later.
But of more direct import, the War ended. People came home. They needed work. The work currently being done by the women who were pretty happy with the personal autonomy it afforded them.
So policies were instated to help men get the jobs that the women now held. Such as promotions to hire veterans. And a new active campaign started. Instead of Rosie the Riveter, we get the created figure of the 50′s housewife
In commercial activities, Magazines, Radio, and Television, this mythic figure who never really existed in real life until families began to copy her. And there wasn’t only this myth. There was plenty of stick to go with that carrot.
To quote from The American Experience:
“Americans turned to the family as a bastion of safety in an insecure world… cold war ideology and the domestic revival [were] two sides of the same coin.”
Rigid Gender Roles The dramatic dichotomy in gender imagery in the 1950s makes people laugh 50 years later. In Dick and Jane readers, advertisements, educational films, and television shows, post-war Americans saw feminine, stay-at-home moms cleaning, cooking, and taking care of children while masculine dads left home early and returned late each weekday, tending to their designated roles as lawnmowers and backyard BBQers on the weekend. In More Work for Mother, Ruth Schwartz Cowan wrote that psychiatrists, psychologists, and popular writers of the era critiqued women who wished to pursue a career, and even women who wished to have a job, referring to such “unlovely women” as “lost,” “suffering from penis envy,” “ridden with guilt complexes,” or just plain “man-hating.”
Yet Married Women Worked With the international expansion of the American economy after the war, men’s wages were higher than ever before, making it possible for the first time in U.S. history for a substantial number of middle class families to live comfortably on the income of one breadwinner. Yet the figures reveal that by the early 1960s, more married women were in the labor force than at any previous time in American history.
Domesticity and Money Pressures The reality of many middle- and aspiring middle-class families’ finances didn’t match their dreams. Many families wanted extra income – and required a wife’s earnings — to afford the lifestyle they desired. Yet middle-class women felt the pressure of the culture telling them to stay home.
Why? Because it was what the US thought it needed to do in order to maintain social order and thereby international supremacy. On the housewife was put the burden of proving AMERICA’s wealth, she wasn’t just the family’s status symbol anymore, she was the nation’s. It’s also important not to forget that the end of WW2 marked the emergence of America as one of the two super powers. The US chose gendered division of labor to prove its ideology. While its opposite, the USSR, chose to show its ideological might by having women work the same as men, in an equally mythological fashion. So the two states had to double down, the housewife became part of the symbol of Americanness as opposed to the take of the Red Menace where women should work in the factory.
Remember, this was not literal. These were cultural myths designed to achieve an end. And it did its job well. Enough so that even some eighty years later, families still feel this pressure. And because of the US’s socioeconomic might, this message was exported. Americas largest export from WW2 on has been entertainment. So all the propoganda we put into our entertainment for our own purposes filtered out to the rest of the world.
But I include the Domesticity and Money Pressures bit at the end for a reason. This stuff wasn’t real. And most people couldn’t really do all this.
So we return to the first thing that happened as a result of WW2, having turned themselves in to food making machines for the war effort, the factories and corporations now had a problem. They were made to make food and for the most part that food was now unnecessary. But there’s another market. A larger market. A desperate market. All those “housewives” who can’t really do the housewife thing because it was a myth. But if they BUY help, they can fake it.
And there was faking it. There’s evidence that a lot of housewives lied about making food from scratch while they did not because their husbands were under the impression they SHOULD be able to, from all the propoganda, when they simply COULDN’T because it was propoganda instead of real life.
Vast amounts of psychological work went into getting people to buy this stuff and to carry on the lie. You add milk to Pillsbury cake mixes not because the mix NEEDS to have milk seperate, it’s entirely possible to have dehydrated milk as part of the mix so no one has to add anything. But having the milk added strengthed the myth of the Housewife’s work while giving her some capability to live up to it which wouldn’t exist without it.
This post WW2 miasma of mythology is the modern inheritance: more work than a woman can do, made maybe possible by spending even more money to get hidden help that the non-cooks never see. So the non-cooks assume that these tasks can be done and they tell everyone else, until even the people who know it isn’t possible start to believe it and struggle to make the “home cooked” meal with all those fresh ingredients.
It’s the same reason why there is plastic wrapped show furniture in a house. Because the myth says a woman should be able to keep a house spic and span while doing all the other things she needs to do. When it’s impossible. It can’t be done. Unless you cheat and have plastic wrapped show couches that the regular family can’t use normally just to show off to company. It’s a way to make the lie work instead of acknowledging that it IS a lie that a single woman can take care of herself, her husband, her 2.5 children, her house, all of their food, and bring in a little income on the side because her husband isn’t actually earning enough to make the income necessary to allow all this to happen.
But whenever a struggling woman goes over to someone else’s house what does she see? A home cooked meal. A perfect couch. The other woman perfectly back from the salon to be ready for company. She sees the lie as if it is real and has no choice but to wonder if there’s something wrong with her that she is barely able to do this when everyone else pulls it off.
Same reason discussion of salary is discouraged in the case of “traditionally men’s work,” because everyone seems to be making it work on the same lines so long as no one talks about the details. Talk about what is really happening and the lie falls apart. So it’s important to keep the secret recipe secret so no one sees that it isn’t really working.
A survey once found that the majority of a country’s (sorry, can’t remember which one) secret family recipes, all supposedly handed down along seperate lines, the recipe held close to the chest to preserve it as the family recipe. All actually came off the same Betty Crocker box. The silence was a way to preserve the illusion that the impossible could be done.
We, having grown up with those illusions, have ingrained in us that this should all be possible. So why can’t we? But that opinion was intentionally fostered to get people to behave the way we as a society think is necessary without regard to the history or capabilities of people.
The Housewife is a historical aberation that did not exist for most of history, was forced to live a lie while she did exist, and is already being forced out to die because of our economic policies with only the shame left over to keep people in place.
This is one of the most thorough explanations of the ‘housewife’ that I’ve ever seen. I think I need to read this a few more times to really drill it into my brain.
If we were in a different place, a different country -if we were in a different time or space –where I wasn’t burdened down by the responsibilities I can’t get my head off from, I’ld run to you and I’ld choose you. And I’ld choose you again. And again. And again.
I don’t know how many more times this needs to be said: as valid as your traumas are, people who’ve had nothing to do with the causes of your traumas aren’t responsible for them.
We are responsible for working on ourselves so we don’t hurt other people with our hurt.
