Your name isn’t etched onto his body, carved into his skin – atop his breastbone, above his heart.
And his name isn’t on your body, it isn’t etched onto you, carved into you – a tight pressure grows in his chest, he swallows the sea and the saltwater drowns his lungs.
Hearts are about to burst for love.
—
It’s raining.
You grip onto a very red umbrella.
Warmth then, spreads across his chest – setting ablaze, a searing ache grows in the depth of his chest, beneath his bones. Sinks into his gut, burning. He watches, he lingers, in the backdrop of your life.
You grip onto a very red umbrella, and feel the burning gaze on the back of your head – you know what it feels like to be seen, and it only makes you sink into a throb.
It’s raining, and you don’t like Minghao but you know he likes you.
It rains and you grip a very red umbrella.
—
“Can you move already?”
You mutter, pushing past him. Brushing against him, warm skin against his – his heart pounds, and yours is heavy in your chest.
“Sorry…”
He says the moment you’re gone, stares at the space you once took up – he watches, he lingers.
(A tight pressures grows in his chest, the sea swallows his lungs, salt sticks to his insides – you becomes oxygen for Minghao, but you don’t like him very much.)
—
Your cheeks are red. A discoloration, rubbed raw from the paw of your woollen sweater. Your eyes are dazed, stuck on Jeonghan.
Minghao watching, lingering – there’s burning, there is salt overflowing in his lungs. Tipping over.
Jeonghan’s thumb strokes your brow, his fingertips soft against your skin. Your hand lifts, fingers curl around his wrist; a hard-edged look settles on your face but your eyes tell a different story; the look you give him is tender, pained – a look that says you will never be theirs. Not Jeonghan’s. Not Minghao –
And Minghao is watching until your gaze finds his, he breathes and at the same time he doesn’t – your face shifts, mouth twitches.
It feels like an ache, a bruise brushed. He sees you take a deep breath, chest lifting; it makes his ribs hurt.
You lift your chin, fingers uncurling.
Your gaze stays on Minghao, and for once, Minghao is seen.
(You push Jeonghan away. Jeonghan smiles. A knowing one.)
—
He hears a conversation he shouldn’t have.
(“Do you have a soulmate?” Low, whispered. Jeonghan has you cornered, hidden on the corner of an emptied street, beneath a street lamp.
“What’s it to you?”
“It’s true then,”
The rumors reach you slow, soft.
“What is?”
Jeonghan is holding you then, arms around your neck. “You don’t have a soulmate.”
You’re quiet. Deafening, a low ring in his ears.
“It doesn’t matter…”
Jeonghan is more than a friend to you, he knows you better than anyone – “Me too. Me too.”)
The rumors started when a man asks for you name. Hopeful, – pitiful. Breathes air like it hurts, looks at you like you have stars in your hair.
“I–, it’s (name)…”
You look pained. And the man isn’t hopeful anymore – instead he smiles, tells you his name. Asks for your time, a coffee. And so more more that remains hidden beneath his voice.
“I’m sorry. I just… I don’t… I don’t like the idea of dating.” But something is missing, there is more.
You don’t like the idea of not having a soulmate.
And then you are gone. Gathered your belongings in your arms, leaving. As if you were never there, like you never existed.
Jeonghan follows.
—
It’s raining.
But you stay.
Minghao watches, Minghao lingers.
Watches you until he can’t breathe, the air winds out of him. Stutters out, before he speaks. Quietly, “You hate me.”
And there is no longer silence, just static in his ears. It’s unspoken, a wordless secret. Brings heat to his heart, he remembers the name on his skin – remembers you aren’t like most people.
“I… I, I don’t… Hateyou.”
Well-worn hate on your face fades; something sadder breaks to the surface of it.
The words burn his throat.
“I want you.”
Your voice is small, “Wha– what?”
The words pour out. “You heard me…” Bites back, Minghao looks at you silently. He won’t beg, he will let you slip through his fingers. His eyes blur, the first tear slips down his cheek.
“Please. You’re all I want.”
“Minghao…”
You’ve said his name before. Yet this is different. Heavier, without the hate.
You watch each other. Eyes on his. His eyes on yours.
He takes a deep shuddering breath. Breathes in until his lungs ache. Tries to smile. It feels broken, it is.
He doesn’t watch anymore. Doesn’t linger.
“Minghao, I’m sorry. I… Wait.”
Takes a half a heartbeat before he’s gone.
—
He meets his soulmate.
It doesn’t feel like it should.
The name etched onto his body, carved into his heart, feels like a word more than a name.
Their eyes meet. Minghao knows.
They tell him their name, bright-eyed. Hopeful, happy.
Minghao braces himself. He knows what to say, knew from the moment he laid eyes on you.
The bright-eyed stare turns to anger.
They tell him, but we’re meant for each other, this isn’t supposed to happen, we’re soulmates.
They don’t want to meet again. Minghao thinks it’s for the best.
—
With an ache in his chest.
Watches you again, tries to catch your eyes. In waiting, he lingers.
Watches you lean close to Jeonghan, watches his hand on your arm, knead through the layers. Your eyes dampen, you pretend Minghao isn’t there.
Minghao learns to watches you both.
Realizes you and Jeonghan are made for each other.
Fitting together like puzzle pieces – watches you both, lingers behind you both.
(Yet, he doesn’t see the way you pull away from Jeonghan, just to stand a little closer to Minghao. Doesn’t see your face heat up when his eyes leave –)
—
“It’s easy to hate you.”
Minghao half-turns. Finds you.
Fingers curled together, wrapped around the handle of your very red umbrella. Bone-white, beneath the sleeve of your coat.
Your eyes are damp. Jeonghan comes, hand touches your shoulder.
“See you later, and you too, Minghao!”
He watches, he lingers.
Watches Jeonghan leave, gaze hardening at your blank stare, he whispers something. Low, beneath his breath, breathes it into your hair. Then gone, out of the staff room.
(“It’ll be okay.”)
“Is it alright if I walk you home?”
He bites down on his lip.
Eyes on your face. Flickering.
Your face sets aflame, a flash turning your eyes to hesitation. Hooking his, seeing him.
“Or– or not, it’s okay, I–”
“Okay.”
He sees you smile for the first time. Soft on your cheeks, dusted with a heat.
Your soul pulls his in.
—
You walk beneath a very red umbrella.
Pressed close. Closer than ever. Beneath an umbrella, under rainfall. Your fingers curled around the handle, both holding on tight.
Minghao stares at you, through lashes. From the corner of his eye.
Realizes he’s always watching you.
“I don’t know much about you,”
You say, a low whisper, for him to hear only.
“You don’t like me that much.”
Your brows furrow, tight-lipped, you tell him again, “It’s easy to hate you.”
It makes him laugh, hollowed out. From his chest, high-pitched and kind of shy. You look at him, cheeks heating, smiling.
(You press more firmly against him, unknowing. Subconsciously. His heart beside yours, a hundred aches in both of them – choosing, a slow truth beneath a red umbrella).
“Well… Tell me something, something that will make me like you!”
Your soul pulls his.
He tells you everything about himself.
—
“Minghao?” Soft, a breath.
He hums, looks to you.
“Can we do… Can we do this again?”
His chest spreads fire across. Heart drums, “Yes.”
—
You walk him home every other day, sometimes with a red umbrella and sometimes not.
You stand close, and your heart is so full – Minghao watches, a lingering stare. His heart is overflowing.
(You stay close, and he wonders if the name on his chest could change to yours).
—
He walks you home this time.
Maybe once, maybe more times than he can count.
Kisses you, and you melt together. Mouths melting together like hot honey, oozing slow, hot and heavy down your throats. Your hearts pulled together, the same way yours hands knot, fingers tightening. Pressing into your knuckles, bone-white and fitting together like pieces to a puzzle.
When you pull away, Minghao’s breath brushes over your cheeks. Forehead rolling to the side of your head, on your temple. Kisses your cheek, quick. Fleeting.
“I’m scared,” You say through teeth.
He doesn’t realize you’re upset, not until you look at him through glossed eyes.
Minghao presses more into you. Hands leaving yours, ground gently into your cheeks, “I choose you.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, and stutters out. Nodding against his forehead when you place your hands over his, fingertips soft, smoothing over the joints in his.
“I’ll always choose you.”
Your hearts stay together. He hopes forever.
—
The name etched onto his body, carved into his skin – atop his breastbone, above his heart fades. Seeps into his skin, until it’s gone.
He pretends your name was always there, pretends it is there.
(It is, carved into his heart, searing, a burning that lasts forever).
ミ★synopsis: three heavy words. you’re so used to saying this to the one person that’s always been by your side, because you know that he’s your other half; platonically. these words have always held some sort of meaning whenever you say it to vernon, in hopes that maybe one day he’ll say it back to you.
ミ★genre: best friends to lovers!au, slow burn(ish), fluff, humor
ミ★warnings: nothing !
ミ★word count: 5,773
ミ★pairings: vernon x gender neutral reader
ミ★notes: hi guys !! sorry for such a long delay, i was super swamped with my midterms and now i have finals coming up wAAAA but here’s my 2 year anniversary oneshot gift !! i haven’t written a vernon oneshot in a longtime and i decided that now was the best time to write one! i kinda based this one off of how my bf and i started dating… LMAO. so this one is v cute :] i hope you guys like this one ! make sure to give vernon lots of love <33
“I love you.”
“You’re cool.”
You lean back into your chair with a huff, crossing your arms as you glare at your best friend sitting across from you. He glances up from his phone to see the annoyance over your features, and the corner of his lips quirks upwards.
“Why do you look so…” He trails off and gestures towards your face, and you raise an eyebrow. “So constipated?”
Seungkwan snorts from beside you, and you poke your tongue into the inside of your cheek. Squinting your eyes towards the brunette, you shake your head and place your focus back onto the assignment you were working on.
“Vernon, why don’t you just say it back? Yn always gets into a bad mood for like half an hour whenever you just tell them you’recool in response.” Seungkwan asks, peeking glances in your direction to see you angrily typing up your essay. Vernon just chuckles, gently kicking your leg underneath the table, making you look up at him with a glare.
He watches as your glare softens slightly the longer the two of you hold eye contact, and he turns away from you and back towards Seungkwan. “Yn already knows that I only say I love you to a few people.”
“Which are…?”
“My mom, dad, grandparents and my sister.” Vernon answers with ease, and Seungkwan grins as he glances at you. You’re typing away on your laptop again, a furrow to your brows as you listen in on their conversation.
“So you don’t love me? Your friend since childhood? Or Woozi? Or Joshua—”
“I love you guys, you’re practically like family.” Vernon cuts off, and your lips curl downwards at how quickly he corrected Seungkwan. The blonde watches as Vernon looks at you, and he doesn’t overlook the hesitation in the latter’s eyes when he sees your pout.
“I just… I just don’t want to carelessly throw around such a deep phrase. I want to say I love you when I really mean it.” Vernon explains as he keeps his eyes on you. Feeling their gazes burning into your forehead, you look up from your assignment to see the two checking if you’re okay. You let out a sigh, reaching out and shutting your laptop closed. “And that’s why I’ve been saying I love you to Vernon everyday, because one day he’ll say it back.”
“But today is not that day.” Seungkwan says, and you nod your head in defeat.
“Today is not that day.”
Vernon looks at you for a moment longer, before looking down at his iPad to try and solve the math problem on his screen. Seungkwan and you glance at each other, and you point a finger towards the blonde, “How long did it take for Vernon to tell you he loves you?”
Seungkwan shrugs his shoulders, putting his pencil pouch into his bag as he thinks to himself. He purses his lips, “I’ve known Vernon since our first year in high school, now we’re in our third year of university. I’d estimate around… four years?”
“FOUR YEARS?!” You exclaim, standing up from your seat with wide eyes. You immediately shrink down when you get glared at by numerous people, realizing that you just shouted in the middle of the library. You bow your head towards them in apology, feeling warmth flood your face at how you acted before you thought it through.
Vernon’s holding back a laugh as he tries to focus on his notes, and you squint your eyes at his shaking shoulders. You kick him underneath the table, and he clears his throat, the hint of a smile now gone from his face as he goes back to writing on his screen.
“It took Vernon fouryears to say he loves you?!” You whisper-shout, and Seungkwan nods his head. “Sounds about right.”
“Why did it take you so long to say it?” You ask, turning to Vernon to see him turning off his iPad. He looks at you with a blank stare, before shrugging his shoulders and putting his tablet into his bag. “Never really felt like it.”
“Yeah. When he finally said it to me, I’m pretty sure it was because I told him I’d rewatch all of Avatar the Last Airbender with him.”
“That sounds right.” Vernon says with a chuckle, throwing his bag over his shoulder after he’s packed everything. He steps out from the table and walks over to your side, beginning to pack your things for you while you gawk at him.
“I have to wait fouryears for you to tell me you love me back?” You ask him with wide eyes, and Seungkwan bites back a laugh at how shellshocked you look. Vernon just rolls his eyes, reaching out and flicking your forehead after he zips up your bag. You let out a squeak of surprise, “What was that for?!”
“Let’s go get dinner. I know you’re still embarrassed by how loudly you shouted a few minutes ago.”
It’s fascinating how quickly you stand up and take your bag from Vernon’s grasp after the sentence leaves his mouth. You give him and Seungkwan a big smile, “Does Chinese food sound good?”
“It sounds amazing, yn.” Seungkwan responds with a laugh, and you turn towards Vernon to see his response. He nods his head at you, “Sounds good.”
You gesture towards the exit with a satisfied smile, “Let’s go then!”
As the three of you walk out of the library, you spare a glance towards Vernon. The sunset shines over his features, casting a warm orange glow onto his face as you walk to Seungkwan’s car. Feeling your eyes on him, Vernon turns his head and looks at you with an amused look in his gaze. “Mm?”
Biting the inside of your cheek, you give him a smile. “I love you.”
“I think you’re cool, yn.” Vernon responds with ease, grinning when you quietly curse to yourself.
“Damn it. Damn it all.”
“I have a good feeling about today.” You say to Minghao as the two of you walk towards the cafeteria where the rest of your friend group is waiting. The pretty man just gives you the side eye, and you nudge him with your shoulder. “I’m serious! I think today’s the day that Vernon will finally say it back.”
“Yeah, sure. And I think today’s the day that a zombie apocalypse will break out.”
“Hey, don’t say that.”
Minghao chuckles at the serious expression that forms on your face, knowing very well that you had just finished the new zombie drama, All of Us Are Dead. He rolls his eyes and wraps an arm around your shoulders, patting the top of your head fondly. “It’s just a show, don’t worry too much.”
“Train to Busan was a canonmovie in that drama! What if it happens here?! Then both the movie and the drama would be canon!” You worry, raising your hand up to your mouth in panic as the two of you reach the lunch table. The group immediately greets you both, but you’re too stuck on the fact that you would probably be the first to die if a zombie apocalypse broke out.
Vernon places a spoonful of rice into his mouth, watching you in amusement as Minghao explains what he did to make you look this unsettled.
“Hao, you know how yn is with zombies.” Jihoon says when Minghao plops down beside him, and the black haired beauty shrugs his shoulders. “They’ll be fine.”
Vernon chuckles and moves the empty chair beside him backwards, the noise of the chair scraping against the floor finally making you snap out of your daze. You look up towards him, and his heart warms when a smile forms on your face.
“Were you thinking of how you would aim for the head during a zombie apocalypse?” Vernon asks after you walk over and plop down in the empty seat he had saved for you. You nod your head with pursed lips, taking his chopsticks and snatching a piece of cucumber kimchi. “I just don’t know why so many people in those movies and dramas don’t aim for the head! Even Thanos said to aim for the head.”
Vernon snorts at the mention of Marvel, shaking his head as he turns back towards his lunch after you place his chopsticks back on his plate. He pats your head fondly, making you chuckle quietly before he starts eating his food again.
Seungkwan watches this interaction from across the table with squinted eyes, and Mingyu looks at him with a frown on his face. He nudges him with his shoulder, and the younger waves him off with his hand.
“Seungkwan, why are you watching them?” Mingyu whispers, and Seungkwan purses his lips in thought.
“I feel like… I’m about to make a breakthrough…”
“How was class?” Wonwoo asks you as he places an apple in front of you. You let out a groan and take a bite of it, shaking your head at the thought of the hour long section. “Don’t even get me started. I can’t believe I had to debate about something that I don’t agree with. We aren’t even supposed to be debating in that class! It’s developmental psychology!”
Your exclamation gains the rest of the group’s attention, and Minghao grimaces at the memory of some of the bad takes a few of your classmates made. The shudder of his shoulders catches your eye, and you know exactly what he’s cringing at.
“Should I ask what the debate was about? Or should I refrain from doing so and live in ignorant bliss?” Joshua asks, and Minghao’s about to tell him to go with the second option when you suddenly respond,
“It was about whether or not children should play violent video games. Then these people who were on the anti-video games side of the debate were saying some bullshit about how Mario Kart promotes destructive driving!”
The twelve stop to let your exclamation sink in, but Minghao just shudders at the memory of you suddenly arguing with them even though you were assigned to the same side of the debate as them.
“I really wish a zombie apocalypse would’ve broken out and got them first.” Minghao mutters quietly, but not quiet enough for Jihoon to overhear.
“MINGHAO?!”
“What! It’s true!”
“Please don’t get yn started on the zombie apocalypse again!” Chan begs, and a frown immediately takes over your features as you turn to their side of the table.
“What’s so wrong about me talking about zombie apocalypses?”
Chan stares at you like a deer caught in headlights. He slowly shrinks back into his seat, and turns away so that his back is facing you. He gives Jun a bright smile while a drop of sweat slowly drips down his neck from the feeling of your eyes burning holes into the back of his head, “So. Lovely weather we’re having, am I right?”
You squint at the man, moving to go and fight him when you feel a hand rest over your shoulder from behind. Turning back, you find Vernon just giving you a small smile as he shakes his head. You purse your lips when warmth floods your heart just from his smile alone, and you lean back into your chair in defeat.
“What would I do without you?” You ask as you take another bite of the apple Wonwoo gave you, and Vernon just shrugs his shoulders with a grin. “Probably get bitten by a zombie.”
A frown immediately takes over your features again, making Vernon let out a laugh and immediately wave his hands at you to signal that he’s just kidding. Letting out a sigh, you roll your eyes and rest your chin onto the palm of your hand. You stare at him with a small smile on your face, and he raises an eyebrow at the determination in your eyes.
“What?”
Vernon notices your smile brighten slightly, and he feels his heart stutter when you suddenly say, “I love you.”
He blinks at you for a moment, before reaching out and patting your head softly. You feel your hopes rise at the sweet action, only for them to be crushed right after when he responds,
“I think you’re rather swell, yn.”
You press your lips into a thin line and lean back into your seat in disappointment for the nth time. Looking up at the ceiling of the cafeteria, you clasp your hands together and mutter,
“God, why have you forsaken me?”
And Seungkwan just watches from where he’s seated, staring at the warm look in Vernon’s eyes as he looks at you.
Seungkwan, Vernon and Chan sit on the floor eating snacks together as they do their own respective homework. Vernon reaches out with chopsticks and picks up a chip, before placing it into his mouth as he scrolls through the article he needs to read for his upcoming section.
As he places his chopsticks down onto his plate, he scratches the back of his neck at the feeling of eyes on him, but he’s too afraid to turn his head.
Chan looks away from his laptop and takes a few pieces of popcorn. As he tosses them into his mouth, his eyes look ahead and he raises an eyebrow at what’s occurring right before him.
Seungkwan is burning holes into the side of Vernon’s face, trying to get the latter to look at him so that he can finally blurt out what he’s been thinking of the whole day. Chan glances over towards Vernon, and he watches as his eyes repeatedly dart towards Seungkwan and back to his laptop.
“Am I… missing something?” Chan asks, breaking the silence that was blanketed over the three of them for the last hour. Vernon looks up at him, purposefully trying to avoid turning his head towards Seungkwan as he asks, “Does Seungkwan look like he wants to kill me or hug me?”
Chan looks at Seungkwan for a moment, before turning back to Vernon. “I think it’s neither.”
Vernon’s eyes widen at the answer, “Neither?!”
“Vernon.” He jumps at the call of his name, finally turning around to see Seungkwan looking at him with a knowing smile. He blinks.
oh god. he’s going to kill me, Vernon thinks to himself.
“When do you think you’ll tell yn that you love them back?” Seungkwan asks, putting a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth. Vernon chuckles slightly, shaking his head at the fact that this was the reason why the blonde was intensely staring at him. “I don’t know, there’s no deadline on love.”
Chan tilts his head, “You and yn have been best friends for over half a year already, and you spend almost all your free time with them. How come you haven’t said it yet?”
Vernon purses his lips, and he shrugs his shoulders. “It’s complicated.”
The two share a look, before turning back towards the man in question. Vernon blinks at them, before letting out a sigh and shutting his laptop. He adjusts his position so that he’s facing the two, and he gestures at them with his hands.
“Well, ask your questions.”
“Do you care about yn?” Chan asks, and Vernon’s eyebrows furrow immediately at the question. He nods his head right away, “I care about them more than words can explain.”
Seungkwan internally screams at his friend’s quick answer.
“So you’re just not sure if it’s love yet?” Chan presses, and Vernon shrugs his shoulders. He looks off towards the window, staring out at the dark clouds that loom over the city as he mutters,
“Yeah, I guess I’m still not sure.”
“How long are you going to keep trying to get Vernon to tell you he loves you?” Joshua asks as the two of you make bracelets on the floor of his shared apartment with Jeonghan and Seungcheol. You chuckle and pick up the letter N, “Until the day he finally says it back.”
Joshua lets out a low whistle, making you look up at him with a raised eyebrow. He raises his fist and gives you a smile, “Fighting!”
You roll your eyes, reaching out and kicking him lightly before retracting your leg. He grins and picks up the daisy bead, threading it through the string as you quietly remember the day you found out why Vernon wouldn’t say I love you too.
“Thank you Nonie! Love you.” You say cheerfully as he hands you the basket of french fries. He sits down beside you on the bench and pats your head fondly, before taking a sip of his water without responding to your statement.
You bite the inside of your cheek at the thought that he hasn’t said it back to you in the few times you’ve said it to him. You reach out and poke his shoulder, causing him to turn and look at you with a raised eyebrow. “Mm?”
You suck in a breath before asking, “How come you don’t tell me you love me back?”
A silence settles over the both of you after the question escapes past your lips, and you find yourself wondering if it was a mistake to even ask him that when he doesn’t answer right away. Clenching your fist, you move to tell him that he doesn’t need to answer it when he suddenly responds,
“Love is very important to me.”
You blink at him, and Vernon takes a piece of your fries and places it into his mouth. He shrugs his shoulders and looks around at the other people walking past the two of you. “When I say it, I want to make sure that it’s genuine. That it doesn’t just become an empty saying that I would call out in passing, because then it’s not true.”
You nod your head, understanding where he’s coming from as you rest your chin on your hand. “So who would you say I love youto?”
“I’d say it to my family and some really close friends, like the guys in the friend group. I’ve known them for years now, they’re practically like my second family.” Vernon explains. He runs a hand through his hair, contemplating whether or not he should actually say the next part. Pursing his lips, he decides, fuck it, and adds, “and I’d say it to the person that I truly do love.”
Your eyebrows furrow, “Like… a partner?”
And Vernon nods, giving you a small smile as he confirms, “Yeah, someone that I’m in love with.”
“Do you think Vernon will ever say it back?” You ask in quiet voice, a tone that makes Joshua’s eyes lace with concern as you’re usually very high-spirited about the whole ordeal. Biting the inside of his cheek, he knows that he can’t lie to you as he simply shrugs his shoulders.
“Vernon’s a simple guy, but he’s also complicated on the inside. In the years that we’ve been best friends, he’s never told me that he loves me.” Joshua says, and you lower your head in defeat. Seeing you look dejected, he reaches out and rests a hand on your knee to offer comfort. You glance up into his eyes, and he gives you a small smile.
“But even then, Vernon makes sure that I feel his love even if he’s never said it verbally.” Joshua adds, and he feels the slightest bit of relief when the corners of your lips quirk upwards. You look away and back down towards the incomplete bracelet in your hands, smiling softly at your best friend’s name reflecting back into your eyes.
“Well, I guess there’s hope.”
“There’s no hope!” You cry up towards the sky in a state of anguish while Vernon laughs at your reaction beside you. Jeonghan chuckles and reaches out towards your arms that are lifted up to the sky, pushing them down so that people will stop looking at you as the three of you walk down the quad.
“Personally, I think that as a way to cope, you should just gaslight yourself into thinking that you’recool, means I love you too.” Jeonghan tells you, and you let out a huff of defeat. “I’d rather not have to gaslight myself into believing this when I already gaslight myself into procrastinating my homework.”
“Eh, what’s the harm in adding another thing?” Jeonghan asks, and you pause, before pursing your lips in thought.
Vernon frowns, “What about we just, I don’t know, not gaslight ourselves?”
The two of you glance towards the man with judgmental expressions on your faces. Vernon blinks at the sudden glares, “What?”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“Not the menally stable guy giving us advice again…”
Vernon’s jaw drops slightly, making you and Jeonghan burst into giggles. You reach out and wrap an arm over Vernon’s shoulders, ruffling his hair lightly, “We’re just kidding.”
“Kind of.” Jeonghan adds, making you nudge him with your elbow. Vernon snorts when Jeonghan suddenly disappears from view, and the two of you glance back to see him doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach.
He looks up at you with a grimace on his face as he squeaks out, “That really hurt.”
You let out a loud laugh and unwrap your arm from Vernon’s shoulders, stepping over to Jeonghan and giggling as you mutter out apologies for nudging him too hard. All while Vernon watches from where he’s standing, the smallest of smiles on his face as he listens to your soft giggles.
While still in pain, Jeonghan takes notice of the fond look in Vernon’s eyes as he looks at you, and he bites back a smirk. The blonde finally stands up and rubs at his stomach, waving you away with his hand as he lets out a cough. “Jesus, why are your elbows so sharp? What if you bruised my ribcage?”
“There’s no way yn bruised your ribcage.” Vernon interjects with an amused expression, and you bite back a grin.
“You’re right. Yn definitely broke a rib.”
“Yoon Jeonghan!”
Vernon laughs at your exclamation, reaching out and wrapping an arm around your shoulders to calm you down. You squint your eyes towards the blonde, who just smirks at the fact that his quickly thought out plan seemed to have worked.
he likes yn, Jeonghan thinks to himself.
“It’s okay, if anything, I’ll pay for his hospital bill since I know you’re saving up for a car.” Vernon tells you with a smile, and you coo at the kind gesture. Turning around in his arm, you reach out and squish his face with your hands like you always do, making him let out a whine.
“You’re so sweet, you must love me~” You sing lightheartedly, and Vernon looks into your eyes as you smush his cheeks together.
“You’re cool.”
“DAMN IT!”
All while Jeonghan watches, backtracking his original thought with,
underestimated. he definitely loves yn.
“Yn, go to sleep.”
“Naur.”
Mingyu’s head snaps towards you with a furrow to his eyebrows, “Did you just… did you just say no in an Australian accent?”
You look up from the google doc that has half of your essay written on it, and Mingyu blinks at how red your eyes are from exhaustion as you nod your head. Giving him a tired smile, you mutter, “Brain too tired to even question what I just said.”
Mingyu purses his lips at your words, before walking over and placing the cup of water he just poured onto the kitchen table. He takes a sip from his water bottle, and ruffles the top of your hair fondly. “Go to sleep, yn. You have classes in the morning.”
“It’s alright, Gyu. I can always pull an allnighter.” You say with a wave of your hand, and Mingyu squints his eyes at you. “Yn…”
You bite the inside of your cheek at the warning tone to his voice, and just give your roommate a small, grateful smile. Reaching out and patting his arm, you say softly, “I’ll go to bed soon, I swear. The last half of this essay won’t take me more than an hour.”
Mingyu continues to squint at you, and you continue to look up at him with the best puppy dog eyes you can muster. After a moment of him scrutinizing you, he lets out a sigh and nods his head. He heads towards his bedroom and waves a hand at you, “Goodnight, yn.”
“Night, Mingyu!”
Once the door closes behind him, Mingyu shakes his head and grabs his phone off of his desk. He immediately dials that familiar number and puts the phone up to his ear. Laying down on his bed, the ringing stops and he lets out a breath,
“Vernon, you gotta come over.”
Vernon waits outside of your apartment door clad in only a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, having walked over as soon as Mingyu told him what’s going on. The door quietly opens after a moment, and he chuckles behind his hand when he sees a half-awake Mingyu looking at him. He steps to the side without a word, and Vernon pats his shoulder as he walks past him. Slipping off his shoes, he pads over towards the kitchen table where he knows you’ll be studying.
He bites back a soft smile when instead of seeing you wide awake, you’re slumped over the table fast asleep. Stepping over, he shakes his head when he sees your cheek resting on your keyboard, spamming many letters onto your google doc while you mindlessly sleep.
“Yn, wake up.” Vernon says in a quiet voice, reaching out and gently shaking your shoulder. You remain asleep, with drool even beginning to dribble out from your parted lips. Mingyu walks over and snorts when he sees you, “That bitch in the REM cycle.”
Vernon rolls his eyes, before squatting down and carefully putting one arm under your legs, and the other behind your back. He lifts you up from the chair, and walks over to your room, gently kicking the door open and stepping inside.
All while Mingyu watches from his own bedroom door, shaking his head with a yawn.
“That man is in love.”
Vernon pulls back the comforter to the best of his ability before finally setting you down on your bed. You immediately curl up into your pillows, making Vernon smile softly as he pulls the comforter up to your shoulders. He stays by your side for a moment longer, brushing away the baby hairs on your forehead as he admires your sleeping face.
“Pretty.” Vernon murmurs, before standing up and moving to turn off the lamp on your bedside table, only to stop. He smiles to himself when he sees two bracelets you must’ve made with Joshua, seeing one with your name and the other with his name. He looks at you with warmth flooding his face, and he quietly murmurs, “Thank you, yn.”
Turning off your light, he walks over to your door and takes one last look at you, making sure you’re fast asleep, before closing the door behind him. He heads towards the kitchen table and goes to your open laptop, deleting all the gibberish that you typed with your sleeping face. He turns off your laptop and makes sure to plug it into its charger on the kitchen island, before cleaning up the table of all your stuff.
He prepares your backpack for your classes tomorrow, placing it by your charging laptop so that you know not to forget it when you go to campus tomorrow morning. Letting out a breath, he looks around to make sure he didn’t miss anything, and nods his head once he’s made sure everything is prepared for you tomorrow.
Yawning, he heads towards the front door, only to almost scream in fear when Mingyu’s voice suddenly appears out of nowhere.
“Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me!” Vernon whisper-shouts to the tall man who’s watching him by his door, to which he just grins in response. Vernon shakes his head, “What did you say?”
Mingyu points towards your room, “You care a lot more about yn than you think.”
Vernon just looks at him in silence, wondering where he’s going with this. The big puppy just smiles knowingly, waving him off with his hand as he opens the door to his own room.
“Goodnight, Nonie.” Mingyu says, before turning and walking into his bedroom. Leaving Vernon standing by himself in the kitchen, a furrow to his brows as he glances back at your closed door.
You lay on the grass, staring up at the clouds in the sky while you wait for your next class to start. You had just finished your psychology class, and now you’re in your hour gap between the last class and your upcoming statistics class. Unsure of how to pass the time, you noticed how nice of a day it was, and decided to just cloud watch in the quad.
You’re about to reach for your phone when a face suddenly appears above you, and a bright smile immediately forms on your face.
“Vernonie!” You exclaim, sitting up as he plops down beside you. He places his backpack down beside him, and shoots you a grin. “What are you doing laying in the middle of the quad?”
You shrug your shoulders as you glance at the time, seeing that your class will start in fifteen minutes, “Didn’t know what to do during my hour gap, and then I thought it was a beautiful day. Then, suddenly, I was on the grass!”
Vernon chuckles at your brief explanation, watching as you lay back down and look up at the sky. He sighs and quickly follows suit, arm brushing against yours as he looks at the clouds pass in the sky. The two of you quietly talk about your days for a moment, before falling into a comfortable silence.
You turn your head to glance at Vernon, admiring his side profile as you watch his eyes sparkle up at the sky. Biting the inside of your cheek, you turn back and look up at the clouds. A small smile forms on your face, already knowing the answer as you say for the first time today,
“I love you.”
Vernon stays quiet, watching as a cloud that resembles the shape of a daisy floats into view. The memory of you briefly mentioning in passing that your favorite flowers were daisies comes to mind when he looks at it, and he finds himself knowing why that was the first thing that he remembered when he saw the cloud.
The corners of his lips quirk upwards as the flower floats away, before he responds,
“I love you too, yn.”
Silence settles over the two of you after those three words escape past his lips. You blink up at the sky, the confession not comprehending in your brain as you look at a cloud that resembles a banana. Vernon turns his head to look at you when you don’t respond, and you glance back at him when you feel his eyes on you.
You blink. Then you blink again.
You let out loud gasp and quickly sit up on the grass, hand clamped over your mouth as you look at Vernon, who is slowly sitting up to gauge your reaction. You stare at him with wide eyes, pointing at the man in complete shock.
“What did you just say?” You ask, disbelief written over your features. Vernon smiles softly at how cute you look, before saying,
“I love you, yn.”
Your mouth drops open, and Vernon chuckles as he takes a peek towards his phone, seeing that you only have ten minutes to get to your class that’s across campus. He reaches out and pinches your upper arm, making you squeak in surprise as you slap his hand away.
“Why did you do that?! We’re in the middle of a breakthrough!” You exclaim, and Vernon holds up his phone, forcing you to look at the clock. You gasp for the second time, quickly standing up and grabbing your backpack. You throw it over your shoulders and look at your best friend with the happiest smile forming on your face as your eyes bore into his.
“I have to literally sprint to class that’s on the other side of campus within,” You take a quick glance at your phone and sharply inhale at the time, “nine minutes now, but just to be clear…”
Vernon smiles softly as you look at him expectantly, waiting for him to say it again. He shakes his head, warmth dripping from his eyes as he says,
“I love you.”
You bite your bottom lip to try and stop the smile on your face from getting even bigger. Looking behind you, you begin to take steps backwards in the direction of your class as you ask, “In a friend way or an i’m in love with you, yn, type of way?”
And Vernon just chuckles while waving his hand at you, “You’re going to be late to your class.”
“This is more important to me!” You exclaim with a laugh, and Vernon sighs teasingly as he looks down at his hands. He bites the inside of his cheek, before looking back up at you.
“In an I’m in love with you type of way.”
Warmth floods your face immediately at his confession, and you quickly glance at your phone, panicking when you see that you now only have seven minutes to sprint to your class. Even with this knowledge, you quickly rush over and throw yourself onto Vernon in a tight hug, making the two of you land back on the grass in a heap of laughter.
You nuzzle your face into his neck, wondering how you can feel so much bliss at a time. Vernon closes his eyes, a soft smile on his face as he holds you tightly within his arms. After a second, you remove yourself from his embrace and stand back up. Waving at him with your hands, you smile brightly at the man you love as you take steps backwards towards your class, “I’ll see you after my lecture, okay?”
Vernon nods his head, waving back at you as he says, “I love you, yn.”
And you cup your warm face with your hands, unable to get used to those words escaping him as you turn around and begin to head towards your class. You quickly turn back to look at him though, and he raises an eyebrow at you. Laughter flows past your lips as you finally get the chance to cheekily reply,
-after moving from Daegu to Seoul, you transferred into Seoul Broadcasting High School
-the atmosphere was so welcoming?? Everyone you passed smiled or dipped their head in greeting and you’re bewildered because your old schoolmates were so cold
-your homeroom teacher introduces you to your new official class and the boys are all so good-looking wtf
-you had to rub your eyes twice like why are Seoul students all so perfect
-”good morning class! this is our new student, please help her around the school since she is not yet familiar with the layout of the building.”
-”hello, my name is y/n! I’m from Daegu; it’s a pleasure to meet you all!”
-each person in the room applauds after your introduction and you’re taken aback because it genuinely sounds like they can’t wait to meet you
-the homeroom teacher proceeds to assign you to sit next to a boy doodling in his notebook and you just gasp in awe because of his silverish hair it’s beautiful goddamn
-he doesn’t look up when you slip into the seat next to his
-it’s a w k w a r d as hell
-so you try to start up a conversation with the simplest and most boring line ever:
-”uhm i’m y/n, what’s your name?”
-the boy’s eyebrows furrow, and you’re terrified you insulted him in some way already
-you had a knack for accidentally offending others
-he finally answers in a matter-of-fact tone, much to your relief
-”it’s dino.”
-”oh… uh… nice to meet you dino!!” he doesn’t reply, but you persist, determined to at least make one friend today. “hey, what do you have for first period class?”
-there’s a slight pause in the boy’s scribbling, but he still avoids your gaze
-”i have mr. park.”
-you have absolutely no idea who mister park is, which subject he teaches and which room he’s at
-”that’s… um… cool…”
-”…”
-”ah, um, you must know this school really well huh!!”
-seriously you’re running out of things to converse about and the uncomfortable silence is sweeping in
-”… yeah… i do.”
-dino’s so quiet when responding to your questions that you’re beginning to think that he might already dislike you
-eventually, the conversation if there was any at all dies off and both of you just awkwardly raise your hands when the teacher calls attendance
-the bell rings for first period and he bolts out of the door in a flash
-is he annoyed at me already?? You couldn’t help but get another unpleasant feeling in your stomach
-obviously you shake it off because you and Dino haven’t even known each other for an hour yet… there’s a chance you guys could get on better terms, right?
-wrong
-all throughout the week Dino ignores you or pretends not to see you
-like this one time you were wandering around the school because you couldn’t find your fifth period class and you spot Dino near his locker
-approaching him while looking down, you busily pull out your schedule from your backpack to ask him where room 507, the science lab, was (the stupid school didn’t have door numbers above each room for some idiotic reason)
-andd he’s gone
-you’re alone in the deserted corridors
-seething, you had to walk allllthe way down to the first floor, ask the lady at the counter for help, then climb the stairs allll the way up to the fifth floor when you could’ve just turned right
-”the next time I catch him he’ll face my wrath URRGGH”
-but unsurprisingly, that boy sure could run
-he miraculously managed to steer clear of your presence every time you ‘ambushed’ him after class
-it’s frustrating to the point where you start waiting for him to come out of the boys’ locker room so you two could ‘talk’
-dino, being the smart honors student he is, takes the back door
-”sayonara idiot”
-yOU FINALLY get him in your hands after he miscalculates and heads to the vending machines to buy a sports drink
-”hellooo there dino”
-”pfft- why are you here” he chokes on his drink and his eyes immediately dart around to find a way to escape
-too bad there would be no escape now
-”lee chan… why are you trying to hide from me huh? What did i ever do to you to cause you to keep your distance from me? I was simply trying to find my way through the school and you ignored my pleas for help? Honestly, and i thought Seoul students were more polite? Yah- get back here!!”
-dino takes off through the hallways
-in a frenzy, you dart after him
-it’s a wild goose chase but you’re gaining ground on him
-both of you eventually get tired of running and begin panting like mad dogs
-complete confusion breaks out across your face you have no idea what he’s laughing about
-was there toilet paper on your shoe? Lettuce stuck between your teeth??
-meanwhile dino’s still cracking up on the floor, trying to exhale through his nose
- “what’s so funny?” you ask, starting to get seriously mad
- dino just keeps laughing, despite the growing tension
- “look, i just wanted to be able to fit in here and get along with people? why are you being so cold to me? you’re making it difficult for me to feel comfortable here”
- the laughter stops with those words
-dino looks at you, and he looks like he’s been slapped across the face right then
- “i… i’m sorry"
- you’re surprised to hear an apology
- “thank… you?”
- “there’s nothing wrong with you, i promise. y-you just…”
- frowning, you take a step closer to him, trying to connect the dots. He backs away, much to your annoyance.
-”i just what?”
-”you make me nervous, alright?”
- you??? made him??? nervous??? how on earth???
- “what?”
- he shakes his head quickly, eyes wide as a deer caught in headlights
-“pretend i didn’t say that. please. my reputation is at stake here.”
-so the two of you stand in silence in the hallway, not looking at each other because he?? doesn’t stop blushing??
- you’re still honestly so confused… he didn’t explain why he felt nervous around you… unless…
-”hey, do you have a crush on me?”
- but you’d literally just gotten to the school? oh man, your head was going to hurt if you thought about it more.
-dino’s ears grow pink, and he shakes his head vigorously
-”of course not!” he says with such defiance you’re almost insulted i mean who wouldn’t want your fine ass he’s probably blind
- ”i-i… you won in last year’s Seoul dancing competition, right?”
-hesitantly, you respond to his question
- “yes… i did…”
-”that last move you did… was it based off michael jackson’s thriller choreography?”
-astounded, you nodded your head. Even the judges didn’t recognize that move; you were a little disappointed they didn’t, that specific move took you months to perfect
-dino gets up from the floor and scratches the back of his neck, ears turning even redder than it was before
-you just realized how cute he looked like when he was embarrassed
-”uhm… could you teach me the way you dance?”
-the smile on his face’s hopeful; he clearly wanted to learn those moves badly
-it’s touching, it really is
-”sure”, you grin, “under one condition”
-dino’s smile immediately falters
-”… what’s the condition?”
-”you must bow whenever you see me in the hallways”
-he breathes a sigh of relief and dips his head in acknowledgement
-and that’s how you two became the best of friends
-you could always have a nice laugh with him about the first time you guys met each other
-surprisingly (or not), dino’s also really caring?? you were kicked out of your house a couple months back because you couldn’t pay the rent fast enough and he grew so worried he forced you to move into his house
-so you ended up living at a ginormous condominium
-dino has twelve?? Older?? Brothers??
-and they’re all hot asf aghjkl
-take seungcheol for example
-biceps, the eldest and strongest of all the brothers
-jeonghan; aka the mother, and angel also devil working part-time
-jisoo; handsome gentleman that speaks english
-junhui; huge greaseball, but deeply cares for his family
-hoshi; 10:10, star, kwon FIRREE, closest to dino obviously
-wonwoo; scary at first, is actually a big softie
-jihoon; don’t ever call him cute he WILL hit you with his guitar
-seokmin; ball of sunshine what’s not to like
-mingyu; germyu more like HAH
-minghao; don’t ever make him mad he’s scarily good at roasts but other than that cute & reserved
-seungkwan; your favorite brother other than chan tbh tbvh
-vernon; eyelashes you would kill for
-but they’re always up to some weird shiet
-they’ve always landed you and Dino in awkward situations… especially that time one week ago ugh
-so you and Dino were studying in his room and the atmosphere was light and comedic
-but guess what
-naega hosh decides to ruin it
-”hey y/n and chan- GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING OMGGG DINO DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN??”
-you two are literally only exchanging notes from the classes you shared together
-Dino’s entire face grows red, from the tip of his ears to his neck and you can’t tell if it’s from anger or embarrassment
-you’re staring at hoshi, dumbfounded and still not grasping the meaning of his words
-groaning, your best friend dashes after hoshi
-you prayed for his well-being after a series of screams and “i was tRYING TO HELP” enters the vicinity of your ears
-you don’t mind all their teasing although dino screams in agony every time his brothers even slightly mention the two of you looking good together
-in fact, you have a crush on chan yourself you’d never admit it but you do
-so whenever dino denies having a crush on you a piece of your heart breaks a little
-it’s obvious he only sees you as a good friend who’s like a sister to him… not that the truth doesn’t sting
-you’ll rather it stay this way; the less dino knows the better
-here comes the huge plot twist though
-your best friend actually does like you
-dino liked you before you even thought of liking him
-he liked you before you two even knew each other
-he liked you even when those petty arguments got in the way of your friendship, he liked you even when you were a disastrous mess in the morning, he liked you even when you liked that senior who picked up the wallet that you dropped during lunch one time
-dino liked you a lot, but he also was afraid
-afraid you would reject him
-afraid this uncommon friendship would be no more
-afraid he’d lose you, no, terrified you’d be out of his life if he ever confessed
-that fear got in the way to taking the next step of his relationship with you, and your obliviousness to his subtle flirting and overbearing concerns didn’t contribute to the progression of the confession at all
-that’s where the rest of his brothers come in
-jeonghan, the mastermind behind all the miraculous ‘coincidences’ is the head of the ‘find a suitable partner for baby chan’ agency and literally dedicates his free time to try to hook you two up together
-none of his cleverly designed plans would work however… except for one
-and that one successful attempt made you and dino realize that you two couldn’t go on without admitting the blossoming feelings you had for each other
-it worked… in a way that wasn’t planned..
-it was on a friday evening when the scheme took place
-as usual, jeonghan would be up to no good, and his brain was brewing with purely evil thoughts and tactics
-so on that night, jeonghan’s like “hey guys, let’s play truth or dare!”
-and the rest of dino’s brothers seem to catch on to what he’s going for, but for whatever reason, dino is none the wiser
-the rest of the brothers are exchanging sly smiles and they know where agent 1004 would be going with this
-you’re also unaware of what they’re doing, thinking that they’re just going to be boys being boys, and daring each other to do crazy things like lick each other’s armpits or run laps around the house naked
-all of you gather around in a circle and just to make sure that dino’s not going to chicken out, jeonghan orders the boys to lock up all available exits
-you’re starting to get suspicious, but you let it pass, thinking that you’re just being paranoid
-they go through a few dares (the most notable being jeonghan daring seungcheol to lie down on the couch and letting hoshi put ice on his nipples for ten seconds)
-eventually all 12 brothers decided on ‘dare’; each of them being dared to do all sorts of creepy things that would be weird just to think about
-it’s dino’s turn, and you realize he’s the second-to-last-one left of the bunch you’re last
-dino’s feeling quite bold and wants to live up to the “brave” show that his brothers had put up
-so he goes ‘dare!’ with a lot of gusto
-and jeonghan smiles evilly and you think “oh no”
-and jeonghan looks at you, and then looks at dino, and he goes “dino, i dare you to kiss y/n”
-dino goes bright red in the face
-like he literally turns into a tomato
-you watch him out of the corner of your eye, afraid to express any kind of movement other than shifting your pupils
-and you watch as his feelings go from complete embarrassment to pure rage
-and he stands to his feet
-and he starts berating jeonghan - everyone is just shocked
-dino’s on a complete roll now; there’s no stopping him and his harsh words
-“i wish, for once, that you could be at least a little considerate on my part! you’re always planning something to make me uncomfortable or feel stupid and you ALL think you’re so smart and so sly because i’m the youngest here??”
-he takes a deep breath… and continues
-”I’m more than capable of expressing myself and who i am!! I’m as much as a man as any of you in here, but guess what? GUESS WHAT?! I have to put up with all of your crap because you’re older and i have to respect my elders but no more!! No more!! I-I.. stop being such a terrible brother! Stop being such terrible BROTHERS!!”
-everyone’s like ‘holy shit what the flying f*ck just happened
-dino storms out of the room because he’s furious, he’s so mad at the world and at himself
-everyone’s looking between one another because dino gets angry often but he’s never snapped like that
-and jeonghan looks genuinely hurt
-you look at him carefully and sigh, getting to your feet
-‘i’ll go talk to him, okay?’
-they all agree that’d be best
-so you start looking for dino and you find him in his room, blasting heavy rock on top volume
-gathering all the air in your lungs, you scream over the deafening music
-”DINO! It’s me!”
-for a while, you thought your attempt at conversing with him was a lost cause, and the music just keeps blaring
-it comes to an abrupt stop suddenly, and dino’s voice, sad and sullen, brings you back to his door
-“y/n…don’t come in”
-“why not?”
-“I don’t want to see you”
-you never knew that one line could hurt so much, nevertheless, you persist
-“dino… please”
-“no”
-“dino… i know you’re upset, but please, don’t take this out on me”
-he goes quiet for a moment
-and you’re about to walk away, sheepish at your futile efforts
-he opens his door a small crack, peering out to make sure it was really you
-“hey” you grin, nodding at the tall male. “How’re you doing by yourself?”
-he rolls his eyes, but still returns a withered smile
-“never been better y/n”
-”may i come in?”
-your best friend ponders about the pros and cons of the request for a little while before conceding, and you step into his room, shutting the door behind you
-you walk alongside his bed, admiring the tons of Michael Jackson and Haikyuu figurines he had in his collection
-truth to be told, you’ve always preferred to stay in dino’s room more than any other room in the house; it was just so cozy and full of memories of his childhood
-the left wall was tacked entirely with photos of him and his brothers; dino would often tell you stories about his misadventures with them– there was one year where the family went on a camping trip and wonwoo’s snacks were stolen by a giant grizzly bear, and there was that one week where woozi’s guitar was accidentally sat on by mingyu and he had refused to talk to him or any of his brothers until one of them got the exact copy of his previous instrument (which joshua had to travel to the usa for)
-you know dino loves his brothers deeply, and wouldn’t give them for the world, heck, even the next door lady with a whole set of teeth missing knew
-and especially not jeonghan
-it’s been quiet for a while now, and you glance back to see dino peacefully resting against the right wall
-the right wall the male was currently leaning on, on the other hand, was full of his achievements he had gained over the years; the numerous certificates and trophies of him getting in the basketball team and making the honor roll every single year in school… he was extremely talented and clever
-stepping closer to dino and to the wall, you marvel at the amount of passion your best friend had poured into everything before you’ve even met him
-and in the center of the concrete structure , was a letter, laminated and hanged up accordingly, that notified him that he had made it to the prestigious national youth dance program
-you smile to yourself; dino had told you that out of all his brothers (which had all been tremendously supportive of him chasing after his dreams), jeonghan was the happiest after hearing him say that, and had dialed all their relatives that lived across the globe just to alert them of the good news. He definitely loved jeonghan more than he let on
-dino’s eyes flicker open, and in spite of himself, he smiles along with you
-”y/n, i hope you didn’t take offense to what i said before”
-you glance back at him, empathetic
-”it wouldn’t be me who would be taking offense”
-the male’s eyes flicker back to his feet, and he sighs
-”i shouldn’t have lashed out like that, should’ve i?”
-as gently as you could, you shake your head. “You shouldn’t have, but i understand how you feel,” you say, patting his shoulder.
-dino gazes at you softly, a remorseful look drifting over his features
-he directs his gaze back to his feet, most likely slapping himself mentally for screaming out what he didn’t mean
-it was then you realized how young he looked. young, not as in immature, but more so a youth who recognized the errors of their recklessness too late
-trying to offer some form of encouragement, you reach out for his face, and that’s when your brain started hollering “danger”
-when had dino become so handsome?
-his infamous chicken hairstyle was the talk of the class until he had gotten rid of it, but even after that, the girls hadn’t paid him much attention
-it wasn’t like he had been bad-looking all these years; you just found his personality the most attractive part of him
-subconsciously, you reach out for dino’s face and stroke his chiseled jaw without a second thought
-his gaze shoots to the position of your hand, questions forming in his racing mind
-”y-y/n?”
-your heart skips a beat, and your eyes soften at the sound of his voice… you were going to hate yourself for doing this, but you couldn’t resist anymore
-that’s it all it took; one breathy whisper from him that unleashed all the emotions you’ve been hiding for so long
-you lean in slowly, still stroking dino’s jaw with your fingertips, and meet his pale pink lips with yours
-it was as if time froze itself, and that it was only the two of you left in this world, with nothing to disturb the anticipated moment
-dino stops breathing, motionless in his spot
-your brain registers his motions almost instantly… dino wasn’t kissing you back.
-you immediately pull back from his lips, suddenly nauseous
-you made a mistake, didn’t you?
-you never touch your best friend
-not ever
-no matter how quick it was, no matter how much you liked them, you don’t. you don’t do it for fear of ruining the friendship
-instead of voicing your apologies aloud, you bow your head in fear that your voice would crack while saying sorry
-it hurt, but this was the truth, wasn’t it?
-the kiss… if you could even call it one, would just be a rueful memory imprinted on your mind for the rest of your life
-the clock ticks by, and neither of you move
-you’re shaking
-dino touches your shoulder, and you glance up, eyes already welling up with tears
-you couldn’t bear to let him see you in this pitiful state, but to your surprise, he tenderly wipes the droplets running down your cheeks away
-dino then slowly cups your chin, and leans in, his and your heartbeat increasing to a rate of one million
-your mind goes blank the moment his smooth pink lips touched yours, and your legs falter from the excitement and thrill of finally requiting your feelings for each other
-it was one of the briefest kisses recorded down in history, but to you, it felt like a decade
-you were in absolute bliss because…
-dino liked you back
Bonus:
-”you guys did kiss back then, didn’t you??” hoshi exclaims, resuming his exuberant twirling across the bedroom
-your face turns apple red, and you pretend to be immersed in your book
-dino chokes on his water, his face turning just as red as yours
-”I-I… we… it’s not what you think-”
-”relax, relax, all of us know. coupsie, jihoon, and i heard y/n sniffling behind the door and thought you must’ve hurt her or something, but whaddya know? she went from snivelling to silent in .2 seconds… seungcheol was about to break down the door if her whimpering wouldn’t stop, so thank god for that. jeonghan was jumping from door to door after we told him our hunch.”
-the youngest brother begins hyperventilating, clutching his head in a wild panic
-”you guys were outside?!! Jeonghan knows we kissed?!”
-snorting, hoshi collapses on the seat next to yours, checking his hair out in the nearby window
-”he would find out even if none of us made a peep channie”
-”goshdarn it!! he’s not home yet, is he??”
-the front door slams rightfully shut, and as if on cue, jeonghan’s blonde head pops through the wooden door
yall i edited it i think its finally cool now guys please i like sobbed three times while trying to edit help hey you should def give it a read tho what omg
Soonyoung snuggled closer to you, his head laying on your stomach as your fingers softly threaded through his silver locks, his light snores signaling that he had fallen asleep. You looked down at your boyfriend, a smile gracing your features, your heart drumming in your chest. He still managed to make your heart race despite the years you spent together.
You continued to comb through his hair, thinking how peaceful he looked at this moment. Soonyoung had been busy with promotions for the comeback and his solo that the two of you rarely had time together. You let out a quiet sigh, not wanting to disturb the sleeping boy.
You grew to love Soonyoung. From his hardworking demeanor to accepting his stubbornness when insisting that he had to work harder. As much as you admired him for being able to take on so much and to come successful, you couldn’t help but worry about him from time to time.
Like Jihoon, he would push himself to give his all in everything that he did Soonyoung would continue fighting and struggling to get the best results out of the fear of failure; it’s this similarity that makes them so alike.
You shuddered at the thought of the small arguments the two of you had when he would push himself too hard.
You would apologize not that long after, nonetheless. It wasn’t in your intention to stress Soonyoung more than he already was, and he knew that you were doing this because you were worried about his state. It brought the two of you to now, him relaxing in your arms.
You lovingly stared at Soonyoung as you gently traced your fingers down his jaw.
You loved him so much.
It wasn’t fair that he pushed himself so hard like this. You didn’t want him to burn out or to hurt himself in the process of doing something he loved. Even if it proved difficult to convince him to take a nap or even snuggle, it still scared you that he would continue pushing himself to his limit.
You understood that he knew what he was doing and loved every second dancing, finding every second as an opportunity to improve. Yet Soonyoung tended to punish himself when things wouldn’t work out. Whether it be overtime in the studio or even in the gym, you would find him pushing himself until he couldn’t go anymore.
You remembered opening the gym doors to drag Soonyoung home when he suddenly fell from the pull-up bar. You were about to run to him when he slowly pushed himself up, arms trembling from exhaustion, before punching the ground in frustration. You froze, watching his shoulders shake from where you were standing, his quiet sobs hurting you more than you could ever imagine. You remembered how painful it felt to see him in that state, and it didn’t take you that long to rush to his side to wipe away his tears and to take his sweaty body into your arms.
Soonyoung stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up to the sound of your sniffling. It took him a few moments to process what was happening before pulling himself up to embrace you, your fingers gently clawing at the sweater he was wearing.
“What happened baby?” he whispered while stroking the back of your head, his voice a bit raspy from waking up.
“I love you so much, you know that right?” you sniffled into his clothes. Even if it was unclear, he was still able to hear you, a smug grin creeping its way onto his face. Soonyoung giggled at you, pulling you from his tear-stained sweater to wipe your eyes.
“You’re crying because you love me?” he teased, his hands coming up to squish your cheeks together; he found you adorable, his grin widening as he saw you pout in his hands.
“Yes, I am,” you pouted, your eyes sore from the tears. You pounced on Soonyoung, knocking him onto his back, burying your face into the crook of his neck, his arms snaking around your waist to keep you in place. The two of you relaxed against each other, allowing the peaceful silence to take over.
“Please take care of yourself Soonyoung,” you mumbled into his neck, knowing he could hear you.
Soonyoung sighed before bringing his hand up to stroke your hair, “I’m sorry Y/n,” he kissed the crown of your head, “I’ll try better for you.”
You looked up at your boyfriend, pushing yourself up to kiss him. Soonyoung kissed back, his hand holding your cheek in place as your lips gently pressed against each other. When you pulled away, you nudged your forehead with his.
You gazed into his eyes, feeling heart race once more, “You are better, Tiger. You are enough,” Soonyoung’s breath got caught in his throat, “You’re enough for me, Soonyoung, and that’s more than I can ask for.”
The two of you sat up again, “I love you so much, Soonyoung,” you caressed his cheek, “you’re everything that I could ask. I’m so proud of you baby,” You wiped the tears falling down his face.
“Your work isn’t going unnoticed, baby, and you’re working so hard. I’m in awe whenever I see you. You’re so bright and burning with creativity and passion,” you wiped another tear before cupping his face so his eyes would meet yours, “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself when things don’t go your way.” Soonyoung buried his face in your chest, his short hiccups muffled by your shirt.
“Everything will work itself out Soonie, you’ve gotten so far and worked too hard for it to not to.” You ran your fingers through his hair, “I’m so proud of you, baby,” you whispered to him, Soonyoung’s arms tightening around your waist, “I’m so proud.”
Seungcheol tirelessly dragged his feet up the hospital stairs, quietly telling himself to stay strong for one more day before entering your hospital room. There wasn’t much to the room you stayed in, it was just as bleak as the others in the building. Yours though had a vase full of vibrant flowers adorning the table beside the guest chair.
A bright smile graced your features at the sight of him. You were sitting upright to get a good look at the view outside of your hospital window before he walked in. Bright rays of sunlight leaked into your room, bathing you in the sun’s warm hug. Your sketchbook lay open on the overbed table, two small aster flowers sitting on the page of a finished sketch of the plant.
Seungcheol gifted you a chaste kiss before placing his belongings next to the vase of flowers and pulled the guest chair to your bed, ready to talk to you about his day. Speckled scars from your IV needle graced the top of your hand, Seungcheol being cautious when taking your hand in his. The shared smiles and faint giggles in this bleak room were more than enough for him; even the quiet conversations and comforting silences were perfect to him, just as long as he was with you.
Seungcheol wanted to pretend that everything was normal. He wanted you to feel normal and happy despite the sudden relapse of your childhood disease. He wanted to pretend that your skin wasn’t losing its color each day that you remained in the hospital or that you weren’t dying and that any day could be your last. He clung to you, childishly, wanting to spend every minute with you.
If I, if I, if I
The to-do list, because I couldn’t do it, its meaning is completely changed
Seungcheol still had his share of responsibilities despite his wishes to stay by your side 24/7. He still had college and a job to pay rent, which he became disinterested in both. A growing number of absences began appearing on Seungcheol’s school record; the frequent warnings from his boss no longer bothered him. He could no longer concentrate on anything other than you, and his life was being affected by it.
Seungcheol would often reminisce about the memories with you outside of the hospital when your paling skin was still its vibrant color and your smile wider and brighter than it is now. Memories where you would drag him to different places that he had never seen or noticed before or experience something new and fun. Seungcheol smiled to himself, remembering how eager and wide-eyed you were to see the world even before the two of you started dating. He was able to experience and come to understand your perspective as an artist. And he admired you for it, your ability to see beauty in everything, even in him.
And within that month where Seungcheol finally managed to ask you out and become his significant other, he was able to experience pure love and adoration from you. It is because of this love he refuses to accept the reality coming between your relationship with him.
There was still so much that he wanted to do and see with you; the different dates and days that he could only envision with you in it would only remain in his imagination. Everything that he had planned out would remain undone ever since you were admitted to the hospital.
Seungcheol’s to-do list no longer consisted of different escapades with you, but only to see you smile every day.
If I, if I, if I
I didn’t want to calculate the widened angle between us
You knew you didn’t have much time left; the doctors informing you that your time is limited, the disease spreading through your body too fast to cure. Your sickness weakened your body each day; it was growing harder to wake up from the worsening fatigue. It was something that you didn’t want to think about or bring up when you were with Seungcheol, despite him being aware of what was to come.
You could tell that your worsening health was taking a toll on him. You were aware that he was ditching classes and that his job position was being threatened. You knew that he wanted to spend all of his time with you and that you did too. You loved him with all that you had to give; he became your everything without realizing it.
You often cried about the thought of dying and leaving everything behind, usually when Seungcheol left for his night shift or those rare times that he was in school (after scolding him). There were times that you despised yourself for causing so much pain to the person you have grown to love. There were nights where you cried, wishing that you were never diagnosed with this cursed disease, that you had a life with no more medication and pain, to repay Seungcheol for all that he has done while you were, hospitalized. You hated being so weak in front of him, sometimes pushing him away even though you wanted him to stay with you. You cried in fear when he was not there with you, selfish tears falling during the night at the thought of him finding someone else to love apart from you.
As the number of days you spent in the hospital rose, the weaker your body became; the pain in your chest from heartbreak and disease became more evident as breathing became difficult day by day.
With a sudden urge to draw you focused your strength into grabbing the pencil laying on the crease of your sketchbook. Everyday actions had grown increasingly difficult with your weakening strength. The pencil felt heavy in your hand, like carrying bricks, and you brought your other to help stabilize your shaking hand. A quiet sob escaping your lips from frustration and anger as the line on the paper scribbled into nothing. The silent clinking of your pencil hitting the ground didn’t make it to your ears as hot tears fell down your face. Your hands fell to your sides, weak and tired from something so simple. A sudden pain struck your chest making your body lurch forward. A violent array of coughs erupted from you; small droplets of blood mixed with your saliva stained the blank pages of the sketchbook. With blurry vision, you continued to fight for air, the quickening noises of the heart monitor dulling into a loud ringing in your ears as fuzzy images of nurses rushed into the room.
Your eyes shifted to the corner of the room where a vase of wilting flowers sat. Its petals splayed on the guest table, brown and limp, some falling like the confetti for their funeral.
If I-
Seungcheol was looking at the bright colors of the flowers behind the shop’s window on his way to you. The colors reminded him of you in a way; the flower’s vibrant petals livened up the dreary afternoon he was experiencing.
It wasn’t the first time he had been in the shop; Seungcheol had been getting flowers for you here since you hospitalized that the employees at the store began to recognize him whenever he came by. Seungcheol purchased a bouquet of chrysanthemums, as recommended by the florist who told him that it symbolized joy and long life, before heading to the hospital to do his daily visit.
The sky was filled with dark clouds, hiding the sun when Seungcheol made it to the hospital entrance. There was a bad feeling in his stomach and the weather was not helping with his growing anxiety. His grip on the flowers tightened as he hurried his way up to the floor your room was on.
Seungcheol felt his stomach drop at the sight of nurses rushing in and out of your room. He slowly staggered to your open door, pushing through some of the nurses crowding the area to get to you.
Visions and images of you came flooding into his mind as he inched closer to the door, his mind imagined your smiling face, smiling for him and him alone, and you that would jump into his arms and press kisses on his face telling him that you had healed. He imagined walking with you, hand in hand, out of this grim place and taking you to the beaches of Jeju, dancing on the shoreline. And he imagined saying his vows to you, dressed up so prettily with his friends and family around the two of you, and seeing his ring sit on your finger forever.
Seungcheol stopped breathing at the sight of your limp hand dangling on the edge of your bed.
Nurses pushed him out of the way in a rush to save you as he stood there, the chaos in the hall filtered out by the loud ringing of the flat line on your heart monitor. The ringing didn’t stop.
I’m late but even now, my eyes and mouth are full of you; A day passes and the regret is too deep- I’m drowning in it
Jihoon had been the one to take Seungcheol out of the hospital. He received a call earlier from the hospital, Jihoon’s number being listed under Seungcheol’s emergency contact papers after your name, telling him to remove Seungcheol from the waiting room.
Jihoon quickly grabbed Seungcheol’s prepped overnight bag and brought him to his apartment complex. The tight-lipped man didn’t want his friend to be by himself, so he welcomed Seungcheol to stay with him until he was stable enough to be on his own.
Seungcheol felt himself drifting. His head and heart felt empty as if he were floating in space, drifting aimlessly forever without anywhere to go.
Nothing felt real to him anymore; he would often think that he was stuck in the void that your passing had created in his head.
There were times where he would close the world out, where everything would turn black. And suddenly, you would appear, your skin returned to its glowing and natural color, your smile would be shining as it always did whenever he saw you, and your hand would take him, so warm and alive, pulling him into the embrace that he craved and begged so much to have one last time.
His eyes filled to the brim with tears for you, soft broken whimpers of your name escaping his mouth during the night that Jihoon would hear through the thin bedroom walls of the guest room while working. Jihoon could only hang his head in shame, praying for his friend to find peace with your passing.
Seungcheol felt like he was drowning, regret building inside of him. His hopes and dreams that he wished to fulfill with you suffocated him.
If I could have given you the proper support…
If I could have given you that last kiss…
If I could have given you that last ‘I love you’…
If I could still have time.
I’ll do whatever to love you again.
~
Where you going, where are you going
Why do I feel my grip loosening
My fist holding onto the edge of your clothes
Why am I losing strength
Our path, our promise to be together
Is already thwarted and you walk away
Turning your back on me
It reduces to a single dot
It’s too empty outside of that interest
I hope that that dot
Comes back before me and turns into you
If I could
If I could
If I could
I’ll do whatever
…
Seungcheol stands in front of your grave years after your death, a fresh aster flower in his hand as he reminisces on the memories the two of you shared in your younger years. These memories that could only bring him sadness in the past made him smile, time allowing his wound of you to heal in his heart. The thoughts of “what could have been” were able to fade with time as well.
Sometimes though, a few tears would escape. Seungcheol let out a sniffle, a dopey smile gracing his features as he apologized to you. He gently placed the flower on your headstone, his fingers tracing the grooves of your carved name on the stone as he did every time he visited you. He let his hand linger just a bit longer on your grave as he longed silently, hoping his prayers get to you. A ring of love adorned his ring finger as the rays of the sun bounced off the metal. Seungcheol’s face now with visible signs of age, smiled once more at your grave, whispering the words he wished he could have said to you before your passing,
Jeon Wonwoo watched the scenery outside of the train window as the machine made its way to Changwon. The sun had set a good hour ago, and he was completely aware that his actions were stupid and insanely spontaneous. Wonwoo unconsciously clenches the box of letters in his cold hands, his thoughts consisted of you, his leg jumping anxiously as he waited for the train to reach its destination.
You and Wonwoo lived in nearby neighborhoods since primary school in Changwon, his hometown. The two of you got along as quiet children; you understood each other. Your worlds were filled with wonder and imagination. Your precious innocence and childhood memories revolved around each other. The two of you didn’t see a problem with spending so much time together; even as the two of you entered high school, you found time for each other despite having different schedules. The two of you always tried your hardest to find time to walk home together. It didn’t matter that the other kids would poke and prod at you to start dating or tease you for spending so much time together; you were a pair and were precious to each other.
As the end of senior year of high school neared, thoughts on colleges and universities to apply were common. Wonwoo wanted to get out of the town and see the city, he craved the excitement that his hometown lacked, but you wanted to stay in Changwon because of its familiarity and the fear of becoming homesick. And when Wonwoo finally broke the news that he had been accepted to Seoul National University, you didn’t know how to react.
Your best friend made it to a great school, and you should be happy for him, but it was your best friend who would be separated from you after 18 years of staying side by side.
The two of you sat in silence after Wonwoo spoke, the slight squeaking of the rusting swing set the two of you sat on being the only audible noise. The swing set resided in a park you and Wonwoo frequented since you were young, it being the halfway point between your neighborhoods. Going here would be your sacred spot for years in your friendship; the most complicated talks would take place here, this being one of them. As your mind filled with clashing thoughts, some of your hidden feelings for the boy were pushing you to beg him to stay. Wonwoo waited for you to process the information he suddenly pushed onto you. He shifted his eyes to you to see how you were coping; he knew it was going to be hard for the both of you to be so far from each other; Seoul being on the other side of South Korea, from Changwon. It scared him to be away from his family, but he wanted to seize the moment, but he wanted to know if you would be alright with his absence.
Wonwoo silently intertwined his cold fingers with yours, a habit that the two of you unconsciously did when in need of comfort; or whenever his hands lacked warmth. Your hands were still so small and warm in his, something that he found comical since you were kids. But now, as growing young adults, the both of you knew that fate was bound to tear the two of you apart sooner or later. With lacklustre enthusiasm, you looked at Wonwoo with glassy eyes and a painful smile, giving a soft squeeze to give him more warmth.
“I’m happy for you.”
Jeon Wonwoo is no idiot. He knew that his departure to Seoul would significantly affect the both of you. The day of his departure finally arrived. He said goodbyes to family, and the two of you found yourself sitting side by side at the train platform, waiting for his train. The wait was silent for the most part, you had cried to yourself the night leading up to this day, and you were not expecting to fight your tears again today as you sat with him for the last time in a while. Without looking at him, you quietly reached for his hand and warmed it in yours. Wonwoo allowed your actions and silently watched you, a growing pit of sadness built inside him as your grip on his hand tightened with the whistle of the approaching train. It was time for him to leave.
The two of you stood up and looked at each other one last time. Your tears were flowing out now, causing Wonwoo to chuckle at you (even as you softly hit his chest) and wiped them away. You pulled him into a tight hug, the two of you pouring out your feelings into it, your tears staining his jacket and your hands clutching the fabric. The two of you gripped onto each other for the last time until the train’s doors opened. His hands slid down to your hand one last time as the two of you gave one last squeeze. And as his fingers slipped away from your warmth, he felt his heart clench at the sight of you standing alone on the platform crying. With a heavy heart and an unfamiliar feeling in his heart, Wonwoo boarded the train to Seoul with his luggage in hand.
~
It had only been a few days since Wonwoo left his hometown when he received a letter from you. You had mailed it in a decorated envelope that came in a hefty pack that you had bought from the stationary store near your school. Wonwoo recognized the envelope design and chuckled to himself, remembering how excited you got when he bought it for you. However, when he called you about the letter, you refused to speak about it and told him if he wanted to say anything, he would have to write back.
In your letter, you spoke about how life was doing in your hometown and about how it felt different without him there. You talked about his family and how you were preparing for the upcoming year at Changwon National University. You stated your purpose of the letter, explaining that although it is cliché, you claimed a warmth that one could feel when receiving a handwritten letter from someone close to you. Wonwoo let out a chuckle, humored to see your familiar behavior even when written out.
Wonwoo wrote back to you the same day and happily mailed it at the post office near his dorm. And without knowing it, he would excitedly wait for your next letter to arrive and would internally scream whenever a decorated envelope would sit in his mailbox. As the year progressed, the pile of letters from you grew. Wonwoo kept them in a small box on his desk and would read them over whenever he missed you or home. Polaroids from back home that you sent to him in each letter were taped onto his wall; a certain polaroid of you smiling with a lollipop stuck in your hair was hidden in his phone case. He found comfort in having your photo back there; he had a piece of you with him all the time, plus it was his favorite out of all the pictures of you.
His Uni friends were aware of your presence and how important you were to him. Wonwoo’s roommate, Seungcheol, would tease him often about you because the speckled man would close himself from the world until he finished the letter. Seungcheol didn’t mind, though; he found it cute how whipped Wonwoo was for the girl in the letters. Plus, you had sent Wonwoo’s roommate a lollipop in compensation for having to deal with him, so Seungcheol thought nicely of you. The rest of the 11 men Wonwoo befriended would poke and prod him about “his girl back home.” Which he would deny despite his quickening heart rate when speaking to you on the phone or through letters.
As school got increasingly difficult and the work began to pile up for the both of you, the letters stopped for a while after a mutual understanding that your lives were getting busy. Wonwoo had sent the last letter, which meant that he had to wait for you to send a response to continue the chain. Throughout the break, Wonwoo would continue to deny any claim that prompted him to miss the letters from you. He always had his phone to contact you whenever he wanted to. Despite him waving off his friends’ comments, there was a large part of him that longed to see another one of your decorated envelopes sitting inside his mailbox. There was something heartwarming about receiving letters because it took time to make and deliver. Letters took time out of your day, and he could tell that you wrote in detail, fearful of missing a detail that would have to wait for the following letter.
Now, Jeon Wonwoo is not an idiot. He always took into mind what his friends thought about him and would reflect on his day to find ways to improve himself. One particular day was filled with his friends’ teasing had brought Wonwoo to question if he held secret feelings for you that he was unaware about. His thoughts were brought back to when the two of you were still children, racing each other to school or just simply playing in the park that the two of you would frequently return to even as you grew older. Wonwoo even remembered attending the annual cherry blossom festival with you multiple times, your families attending every so often. However, it was you who would push him to attend. One particular festival, however, he remembered holding your hand while walking under the falling cherry blossoms. As if he were put into a trance, he watched you in awe as you pulled him through the hallway of falling petals. Wonwoo furiously shook his head in embarrassment while laying down in his bed that night.
He only saw you as some childhood friend… right?
Wonwoo shivered and tightly wrapped himself in his blanket; his hands were freezing. He tossed around on his bed to rid his thoughts of you for the rest of the night. Unbeknownst to him, his longing thoughts of you would continue on for the rest of the week. He would space out so often that his friends would call him out for it, noticing an unusual difference in school performance and behavior. One of his friends, Minghao, even noticed that he would be holding his phone to rub the back of his case, to which he texted Wonwoo with concern afterwards. Wonwoo couldn’t understand why he was acting like this either. Everything that he looked at reminded him of you; even his side of the dorm had remnants of you. From the stickers you secretly super-glued onto his laptop to the blanket you gave him that was sitting on his bed. He was sick of it.
“Maybe I’m just homesick,” he would try telling himself.
It wasn’t until he saw a particular decorated envelope sitting in his mailbox that he felt his heart rate rise at a spectacular rate as he giddily sped into the dorm room. Seungcheol was sleeping on his bed when he entered, his light snores filling up the silence in the room.
Wonwoo dropped the rest of the mail on the coffee table and jumped onto his bed, ripping open the envelope to see what you had to offer this time. To his surprise, there were no polaroids but instead, a small cherry blossom petal encased in tape. Confused, Wonwoo took out the letter to read why you had changed the usual trinket.
Your letter this time described your most precious memories together, from just sitting on the swings of your childhood park near your houses and eating whatever snack you had to chew on, to the fond memories that the two of you had shared from the cherry blossom festivals that you would drag Wonwoo to. In the letter, you told him that the sealed flower petal was from one of the festivals that the two of you had attended. It went on to apologize for the long wait for the letter and that it wouldn’t happen again. There was a small space of hesitation in the letter. The letter abruptly closed after the apology and written in a small font was an instruction to call you before reading the letter.
There was something important that you wanted to discuss with him, you wrote.
Wonwoo felt nervous; he gently closed the letter and grabbed his phone. He glanced at his snoring roommate before getting up and leaving the dorm room, the taped flower petal in his hand. Wonwoo made his way up to the rooftop, a quieter place to have a phone call with you and he wouldn’t disturb Seungcheol, before clicking on your contact, every ring making his stomach sink deeper.
“Hello?”
Wonwoo unconsciously smiled before greeting you back; he had forgotten how pleasant your voice sounded. The two of you caught up for a while before asking why he had called. Wonwoo hesitated and began to fiddle with the petal in his pocket. He proceeded to tell you that he received your most recent letter and your direction to call him. Wonwoo let out a small laugh while telling you how unique the taped petal was, bringing it out of his pocket to observe it. There was a moment of silence on your end, the feeling of dread returning to Wonwoo’s stomach. You made an unintelligible noise before groaning out that there was something important that you needed to tell him. Wonwoo’s grip on the petal tightened.
“I’ve loved you for a long time now.”
~
Seungcheol could tell something was wrong. When he got ready to leave the dorm to his job, Wonwoo quietly slinked into their shared unit and laid face flat on his bed. Seungcheol called out to him and asked if he was okay only to receive a muffled groan in response. He didn’t want to leave his roommate like this, but his boss would kill him if he were late again. With a heavy sigh, Seungcheol left the dorm, shouting to Wonwoo to eat something before he gets home.
As soon as the door closed, Wonwoo turned his head to get air and pulled out the petal from his pocket. Your words were still ringing in his ear and the way you abruptly hung up after telling him that the feelings didn’t have to be mutual. His thoughts were in turmoil, did he like you that way?
Wonwoo’s hands felt cold again, he pulled his sleeves over them.
For the next few days Wonwoo was even more out of his normal self and his friends were completely aware of it. They were weary on approaching him about it though, Wonwoo wasn’t the type to speak about his feelings to them. They could tell that he would be thinking about it too, his cheeks would turn the slightest bit of pink whenever he would space out, a mumbled “she likes me” escaping him once. He couldn’t not think about you, you were everywhere to him. It was similar to when he missed your letters but enhanced because of your confession. Wonwoo would space out more often than usual, enough for the boys to actually become annoyed at him. When his studies were being affected by this though, Seungcheol decided to step in and talk to him once and for all.
It had been five days since your call and there was a small yet growing pile of missing assignments from Wonwoo’s classes. Seungcheol opened the door to the dorm and found Wonwoo quickly shoving the box of letters behind him. Seungcheol raised his eyebrows at Wonwoo and shifted his eyes to look at the taped petal on his roommate’s bed, which Wonwoo immediately covered with his hand. Seungcheol let out a tired sigh and took a seat on his own bed across Wonwoo’s, giving him a serious look.
“You and I both know that you like her,” he started, Wonwoo couldn’t look at his older roommate. “I don’t know when you’re going to accept it but we both know that this,” Seungcheol motioned towards the scattered papers on Wonwoo’s desk, “won’t end unless you finally make up your mind.”
Seungcheol stood up from his bed, “Don’t think I don’t see you rereading her letters or that I didn’t see you hide her photo behind your phone,” Wonwoo froze, “you’ve got it bad man, everyone sees it except you.” Seungcheol then left the dorm, mentioning something about joining him and Jeonghan once he gets himself together.
Wonwoo continued to think about his feelings for you through the night, his roommate’s smack of reality helped him concentrate a bit better. It was Sunday, and Wonwoo was trying to complete his missing assignments from before. Wonwoo groaned in frustration and slammed his pencil down onto the unfinished calculus homework. He shifted his eyes to his phone, his heart beating a bit faster when the thought of him calling you crossed his mind. Wonwoo peeled his phone case off and cradled the small polaroid of you in his hand, his thumb rubbing over your face in the photograph and smiling as he saw the stuck lollipop in your hair. Wonwoo then reached for taped petal sitting on his bare phone; he had been hiding it there with your photograph to keep it safe. Wonwoo felt his face warm, your words ringing in his ear once more as his heart raced.
He did love you after all.
Something inside Wonwoo snapped. He got up quickly and took a look at the window, the sun was about to set. Wonwoo hurriedly shoved your photo and the petal into his pocket, grabbed his phone and wallet, and hastily toppled his books standing on top of your box of letters. With that in hand, he ran to the train station, purchased a ticket, and hopped on a train going straight to Changwon station.
Jeon Wonwoo watched the scenery outside of the train window as the machine made its way to Changwon. The sun had set a good hour ago, the lampposts outside illuminating the dark land beyond. Wonwoo unconsciously clenches the box of letters in his cold hands, his thoughts consisted of you, his leg jumping anxiously as he waited for the train to reach its destination. It was a two-hour trip by bullet train, he didn’t care that he spent so much money on a ticket, Wonwoo needed to see you.
He sent a quick text to Seungcheol that he was alive and was going somewhere for the night and turned off his ringer, he knew he was going to receive a horrible scolding for this once he got back but he focused more on the task in hand. Wonwoo clenched his cold fingers to get the warmth that he lacked, and carefully took out your photo and the petal he had carelessly shoved inside his pocket. The laminated petal was doing well, and your photo was crumpled now from his running, his fingers smoothing out the creases on the photograph before rubbing his thumb on your printed face.
The train’s chime woke Wonwoo up, the doors of the train slowly opening. Wonwoo shook himself awake and grabbed his belongings before making his way out. He was immediately hit with nostalgia as soon as he stepped out of the train.
The station looked the same as it always did. Wonwoo’s heart clenching at the sight of the seats the two of you sat on the day of his departure. He looked at his phone to check the time only to be met with a black screen; his phone had died.
As panic started to settle inside Wonwoo, he had a running start out of the station to your house, the street lampposts lighting his way through the familiar streets from your childhood. Memories floated around him, each and every spot in this town had a memory of you in it. From the races to school in the mornings, to buying you those envelopes you loved at the stationary store near your houses, and eating snacks at the park late at night, Wonwoo found himself standing in front of your house holding your box of letters in his arm.
Your room’s light was on and he felt his heart soar. He was here. He continuously knocked on the door, his heartbeat growing faster and faster as he heard your footsteps grow louder.
And there you were. Clad in a stolen shirt of his from high school, shorts, and a pair of fuzzy socks, you were as beautiful as he had left you.
You jumped into his arms, him dropping the box of letters to catch you and latch his arms around you. You disregarded all your feelings and tears you released for the past few days, all the anger and stress were being relieved being in his arms, you buried your face into his shoulder as he lifted you off the ground. Your best friend was home.
“I love you.”
Your eyes widened, tears resurfacing once more. Did you hear that right? Wonwoo held you close to him as he whispered in your ear.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”
You leaned back to see his reddened face illuminated by the street lampposts and let out a happy laugh as tears ran down your face.
“You came all this way just to tell me that?”
You giggled out as he softly kissed your forehead, a soft blush rising up your neck.
“No matter the distance, I’ll always run to you if it means I can tell you that I love you.”
A bright smile appeared on your face before burying it in his chest and interlocking fingers with his.
And suddenly, Wonwoo’s hands didn’t feel cold anymore.
~
Turns out, that petal you sent to him was from the festival that you realized that you were in love with your best friend. Wonwoo teased you, laying on your bed that Monday morning. You explained that if he didn’t hold the same feelings as you did then you would rather let go of the petal than to hold onto it.
Wonwoo looked at you with sincere eyes, interlacing his cold hands with yours to get you to look at him. He sat up and pulled you up with him, him placing a soft kiss on your lips as you got up. The two of you smiled at each other, sharing another kiss.
His and your box of letters sitting next to each other on your desk, Wonwoo never felt warmer with you here.
I wanted to be able to create works of fiction that could incorporate the feelings and emotions that the lyrics in Seventeen’s songs convey. This is my interpretation of their lyrics put into scenarios with the members.
H M M M SHOULD I MAKE SONG FICS FROM SVT’S SONGS (bc i unintentionally created my To Feel Love fic to become associated with the Vocal Unit’s song Hug and now i’m thinking hmmmmmmmm
and maybe i can take some requests for those fics with the svt members (or maybe create one for each) i’m going ballsy today
and maybe i can also just take in requests bc i wanna interact and improve my work
The sound of a soft knock outside Jihoon’s studio was ignored by the young man sitting at the desk inside. An unfinished melody had been sitting untouched for nearly an hour now, Jihoon’s mind racing searching and processing what could make the song unique and better from the last. The palms of his hands were pressed against his eyes and the tips of his fingers were massaging his throbbing head in an attempt to spark a new idea.
He was stressed and tired, anyone could see it. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.
The studio door creaked open, Jihoon quickly wiped his tears of frustration and fixed his hair under his cap with a quick sniffle. His eyes were fixated onto the computer screen again, he could feel his headache returning by the sight of the incomplete phrase in the music.
You quietly entered the room, the familiar purple hue illuminating the studio was a drastic difference from the bright lights in the hallway to the studio.
Hoshi had called you a few hours prior to your arrival to the studio building, asking you to get Jihoon out of the studio after camping there for the past few days. Jihoon refused to listen to the members’ concerns and continued to slink into the studio to try to get some work done. The members would bring food up to him knowing fully well that he’ll be too immersed in his music to bother taking care of himself.
It was the fourth day he had locked himself inside the studio when Hoshi called.
“Ji?”
You placed your bag on the table next to the couch before making your way over to Jihoon. He refused to face you and continued to click on some of the pages on the screen. It wasn’t until you carefully removed his headphones from his ears that he paused from his actions. Placing the pair on the table, you grabbed his hands and pulled him up from his seat.
Jihoon had felt so weak in your presence. He couldn’t find the heart to look at you, fully knowing that he had gone too far in his work if you had to come drag him out from the studio. There was a small pit of shame and guilt that he had made both you and the members worry about him. He cursed himself for not finishing up faster; for not being able to create this song quickly so there would be no need for you to drag him outside. So he could confidently come back to you on his own knowing that there was a perfect song to be used in the upcoming album.
So Jihoon stood there, unable to look at you, who was so desperately trying to search for the eyes you loved so much.
You knew he was stressed, and you knew how much creating music meant to him. But he was in a slump and you knew that it was in his nature that he would force himself to stay in the studio until something unique dawned on him. It’s during those times where you would worry about him the most despite his usual stubborn demeanor that would insist that he was okay. He’s independent and he doesn’t want to burden anyone with the problems and stress that he has to deal with as a producer.
You placed your hand on his cheek and rubbed the soft skin, watching him lean into your touch. There was a wave of sadness that rushed into you when he did this. He doesn’t deserve this stress; he needs to rest.
You quickly engulfed him into a tight hug, your arms tightly wound around him hoping that you could take away all the pain and stress he’s holding inside. Jihoon’s head limply rested on your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your torso, bringing you closer to him. Your feelings of longing for him and the warmth of your care seeped into the hug as you clung onto him. Jihoon could feel your emotions and felt your grip tighten on him whenever it seemed like his grip was loosening on you.
You didn’t want to let go. You didn’t want him to submit to the stress and push you away again.
Jihoon finally relaxed in your hug and the two of you slowly sunk onto the floor, still holding each other as he shifted you to sit in-between his legs. Jihoon leaned against the couch as the two of you sit each other’s arms, together and in a more relaxed state.
You look up at him and he finally met your eyes. You could see that they were puffy from crying earlier and his eyebags were more prominent compared to the last time you had seen him. Your eyebrows creased and tears threatened to spill from your eyes.
He didn’t deserve this stress. You wanted him to rest.
You closed your eyes and pulled his head towards yours, foreheads pressing against each other in a final attempt to take away his stress.
Jihoon’s heart clenched at this action. He felt all the stress and pressure release as tears began falling down his face. You rest your hands on his cheeks to wipe away the tears, his forehead now pressing on yours, tired from the deadlines, the frustration, and the stress that he had been hiding away for the past few days.
A few tears slipped from your eyes as well. Your boy didn’t deserve all this pressure and stress. You felt horrible that he was feeling this way, and you understood how difficult and burdening it is to hide these feelings from the people that care about you the most. It pained you to see Jihoon like this; he was someone who rarely showed weakness to others. But despite having such a hard exterior, you were able to see that he’s a soft person at heart. He cares. He has feelings too.
The two of you held each other while each of you cried and once the tears ceased, your foreheads pressed onto each other’s again. Jihoon felt your nose playfully bump his which sprouted a small giggle from you and a grin from him. The two of you basked in each other’s presence, deep intakes of air and giggles escaped the both of you as small eskimo kisses were exchanged.
Jihoon felt so loved by you. Your presence eases him, and it was really proven today after this event. He felt so safe with you with him and your hugs were so warm and caring. He knows that you understand that he was having a hard time, despite there being little to no words shared. Jihoon tightened his grip on your torso as you lay on his chest listening to his heartbeat.
He was overjoyed by you. He was… happy. He couldn’t believe that someone had the ability to make him feel this kind of way.
He felt loved.
And he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure you felt loved too.
And once he returned back to the studio with a clear head, he was able to compose a song for both you and carats in need of comfort.
genre: angst, some fluff, mutual pining, (un)requited love, reader likes lying to themselves, exes but also !soulmate au?
wc:1.7k
(a/n: kind of my first serious drabble on this blog, ya’ll i dont even know what this is. i just blacked out and started typing shit at 1 am last night. was originally supposed to be around 20k aka a full length fic but hmm. gyuldaengies i am here to inform all of you with regret that i am one of you now /j. music inspo for this was ‘i love you so’ by the walters, feel free to listen to it as you read this steaming mess! special thanks to @beyoncesdragonand@praninllove for being the sweetest hypepeople ever pls)
Loneliness strikes the hardest when one hopes for company.
You nearly trip on the extension box uselessly lying on the floor with oodles of wire splayed out uselessly. You had forgotten to reel it back in after using it for your laptop last night. Who in their right mind lived in a bedroom with a singular plug point? You briefly reminisce about Seungkwan nearly punching the life out of your landlord before moving out of this apartment the both of you had originally agreed on cohabiting. The tiny smile that makes your lips curl up is involuntary but definitely not unwelcome. Where was he anyway? Wasn’t he supposed to be here with Chan already? You whip out your phone and cradle it between your head and your neck before squatting down to reel all the excess, neglected wire from the extension box back in.
The phone rings, and it doesn’t take long for your best friend of five years to pick up and growl unabashedly.
“We’re still on our way, (name). Stop calling!”
Your neck cracks, and the mobile almost slips as you whip your head to look at the clock on your wall. “On your way from where, Jeju? What in the world is taking you so long?”
There is a windy yell followed by a smack on the other end of the line. You also hear lots of panting, and that’s when it clicks.
“You’re..walking to my place.”
“Our ride broke down.” It’s Chan’s voice in your ear now.
“Well damn.” You get up and dust your pants a little before shoving the cursed wire filled box under your bed with your right foot. You really didn’t care how convenient it was at this point, you were never going to use it again for the foreseeable future. “How far along are you?”
“We’re on the bridge!”
Too late for them to go back then. Maybe they could crash at your place for the night before they got their crap together, it wasn’t like they lived ten minutes apart from you after all. You tell them this, and they agree. You end the call after you hear Seungkwan threatening to hurl Chan off the bridge for walking close enough to him to constantly end up stepping on his toes.
It’s hard not to let their chaos affect you. You feel a little ready to have fun, a little young and reckless despite all of that dreary paperwork sitting on your coffee table. Most of it was due on Monday. Was today Friday already? ‘Course it was, that was why Seungkwan and Chan were coming over. Movie nights were a tradition the three of you had followed since your university days no matter how hard life was going down on you. It was a tradition you followed even when you were at your worst, why would you jam the brakes on it when the only thing holding you back was an ugly stack of papers?
You weren’t inherently an organized person, but you were willing to try every once in a while. You scuttle around the apartment, intently scouring all the rooms for anything out of place. Existing seemed a little easier on days like these, days when you didn’t have to worry about everything at once. Days like these were like a hot balloon slowly drooping down to the ground just for you. You could climb on and feel lighter, you could feel yourself float away from everything that haunted you on all the nights you couldn’t will yourself to go to sleep.
The doorbell rings. Pizza guy or your friends?
It was neither of them. Your hot balloon deflates a little, and then it pops, harshly flinging you back into reality.
“Oh.”
Why was hehere?
Mingyu’s eyes widen when they fall upon you. He looks confused, a little frustrated even. He’s dressed to impress, with his hair neatly slicked back and a (riskily positioned) Rolex on his wrist. Heat rushes to your neck, because you’re suddenly growing very aware of your messy bun, your bare face and your unbelievably embarrassing Totoro pajamas. The primal urge to pat yourself down was growing exponentially by the minute.
You resort to staring blankly at the unopened bottle of wine with a pink bow around its neck dangling from his hand for almost a full minute before you look up at his denim jacket and clear your throat. “Can I help you?”
The confusion in your voice seems to stir him out of a stupor you didn’t know he was trapped in. He was fumbling for his phone now. “Sorry uh, I think I got the wrong door. I had no idea you lived here.”
His tone is a little distant, just like yours. You wonder when your friends would swoop in to save you from this mess of an interaction.
“Okay.”
Mingyu looks the same. It’s not like a person could drastically morph into a stranger in such a short span of time. Interacting with him was inevitable with that soul bond you both had. You two were always somehow bumping into each other at the worst places and times imaginable. That split he had razored into his eyebrow that you had noticed for the very first time when you had catastrophically rammed your trolley into his very full one at the convenience store nearly a week ago was still there. Maybe it had dulled a little, you couldn’t tell. You make the rookie mistake of unconsciously looking for that ever present mole on his cheek, and you almost bite the tip of your tongue when something familiar, something so delicate and longing threatens to seize your breath.
The opposite poles of a magnet were meant to pull each other with a lot of force, but what if they didn’t want that? Ironic. Mingyu did feel like everything you could ever possibly want, but why did he also feel like something too good to be true, something you could never have?
You’re brought back from your reverie when he coughs a little into his fist before the call connects and he raises the slightly cracked screen of his phone to his lips. “Hi babe, I think I got your door number wrong? Was it not 314?”
He was probably on a date then. Was it okay to assume? You’ve never heard him call any of his friends “babe”, so. It didn’t really matter to you anyways. It was another one of those silly little mistakes, him colliding with your day like this. He was going to leave soon, you could go back to waiting for Seungkwan and Chan, and before long, the three of you would be buried neck deep in the plot of a chunky psychological thriller. Everything was going to be fine, you weren’t going to let this ruin your day anymore.
“314? I’m at 314 though?” He’s still here, and he’s still on the phone. His hands were moving a little too wildly for someone carrying a wine bottle. Why was he even holding the neck of the bottle like it was the hilt of a sword? Wasn’t he supposed to be holding the body?
Foreshadowing was one hell of a bitch. You were right, unbearably so. There were glass shards everywhere, and all you saw was red. You weren’t seeing red because you were mad, there was red wine all over the welcome carpet right at the entrance of your apartment.
“Fuck.” He’s bending down haphazardly, panic lacing his actions. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t-”
“That’s alright.” You’re almost swatting him away from the ground, away from all those glass shards. The last thing you wanted to do with your time tonight was spend it with Kim Mingyu at the E.R. “I’ll clean this up, don’t worry.”
Don’t worry? You mentally curse yourself for sounding so stupid as you walk further into your apartment to get a dish filled with water, a wet rag and some disinfectant to get rid of all the sour wine smell. He’s still standing outside when you return, and you’re positive he’s staring at you when you messily fold your sleeves to start tidying up the floor, to start tidying up the pandemonium threatening to spill from the broken wine bottle inside your heart. “You don’t have to run late to your-” you catch yourself in time-”whatever, the bottle technically crashed inside my apartment, I can fix that myself. Just buy a new one or something.”
Maybe this was all you could do for him. A man you once knew, a man you (once, emphasis on the once) loved. You could let him go. You could clean up the mess you were maybe partially responsible for and wish him the best.
Maybe this was the only way you could care now.
Mingyu’s eyes narrow a little at your words. You try not to groan audibly when he (finally) steps inside and crouches down right beside you. Your shoulders are touching, the proximity is too much for you, and you try not to pop a vein when he pulls out a wet rag from a bucket and starts collecting all the small, dangerous glass pieces with quick, deft movements. This was out of your hands then, the fucker was definitely going to stain his denim-fuelled ensemble now.
“Ibroke the bottle inside yourplace, it doesn’t make sense for you to be doing this.”
Cool. How were you going to tell him you were doing it because you wanted him to be gone as quickly as possible and not because you didn’t want him running late for his date? It’s a little too domestic for your taste, the both of you hastily arguing over which corners of the room you were going to cover. It was waytoo domestic, the way he had to stretch his arm over your shoulder and pick up an ugly piece of green glass you had previously missed. You try your best to not grow comfortable, you try not to let the warmth from his demeanor seep into your bones.
You fail miserably.
“(name).”
“Mm?”
“It’s not a date. she’s just a friend.”
Your heart cracks a little. A bitter laugh bubbles from your lips as you throw down a fresh rag on a particularly wine-soaked spot a little too aggressively for your taste.
genre:angst, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining
word count: 20.8k (ha ha buckle in)
warnings: divorce, implied sexual activities (but no smut), profanity
a/n:it’s here!! first, i want to say thank you all for your interest in this fic; it was truly unexpected, but your support motivated me to finish this after months of sitting on it with no clue as to which direction i wanted this to go. this started roughly three months ago when i started watching thirty nine (which i finished last night btw; go watch it if you’re into sad stuff), and also listening to loote’s song of the same name! smth abt tomorrow tonight + thirty nine angst made me want to write this sadness so…yeah. i truly did not anticipate this being my longest fic to date at 20k words, but here she is :’) thank you to @gyukultand@twogyuu for beta reading this bc i was too tired to re-read it myself LOL @_@ i hope you all enjoy it, and as always, please be sure to leave your feedback via reblogs/replies/asks!! <3 enjoy !!
Your voice filled the empty night air, crude words accompanied by the chilling winter wind. He was facing away from you, his back hunched over as he sat on the carousel in the children’s park outside your apartment. Even under the poorly-lit street lamps, you recognized the back of his head: the way his hair—cut close to his nape—faded into his skin, and how his white, cotton button-down shirt hugged his wide back as he rested his elbows on his knees. He was rubbing his palms together, his breath visible in the night as he tried to warm himself.
Dipshit, you thought to yourself. It was below freezing and he was out here without a jacket.
He turned around to greet you with a smile, though it wasn’t the same cocky grin he usually gave you when you called him unpleasant names. This one was different. It was… sad. Given the way his hair was tousled, you could guess he had probably gone drinking with his coworkers before he came to see you.
Synopsis: Fearful of losing her, yet unwilling to leave; this agreement between Seungcheol and his best friend’s little sister was meant to be casual and temporary, yet he finds himself growing more attached to her day by day.
Genre: Fluff, angst, fake dating, fwb(?), slowburn, older brother’s best friend!Seungcheol, badboy!Seungcheol, innocent!reader, older brother!Jihoon, non-idol!au, university!au, low-key Crazy Rich Asians!au(Seungcheol is RICH - implied chaebol lifestyle, Jihoon and reader’s family aren’t chaebols and are commoners but well-off)
Warnings: k-i-s-s-i-n-g , some insecurities, mentions of food and clubbing, cheese and cliché (this chapter is v awkwardly written tbh ), jihoon chased chan with his guitar
“Consider it,” Clara pleaded. Her hands latched onto your upper arm, a pout setting on her face as the two of you made your way out of the lecture hall.
“The club isn’t really my scene, Clara,” you mumbled. You tried to shrug her off with no avail. For the past week, Clara had been on an all-time high; she groaned about spending too much of her time with her nose in the books and not enough time “in the moment.” She was determined to live out her best life from now on, which included getting an early start on her “hot girl summer” in the spring. One of these experiences included clubbing downtown.
“How do you know?” Clara whined. “You don’t know unless you try.”
“What does Hansol think about all of this?” you asked, trying to divert the attention from yourself.
“He said he was down,” Clara replied smugly, “It’s just you now.”
“Lies.”
“Nope!” she retorted, popping the ‘p.’ Clara fished her phone out of her back pocket and quickly scrolled to her most recent conversation with your friend. You squinted at the back and forth between them, surprised, but also not at Hansol’s casual agreement.
He was Hansol: always down to try new things, but never seemingly excited.
“Come on,” Clara dragged, “It’ll be fun! And you can bring Seungcheol.” She poked at your armpit, eliciting a jump from you.
The mention of your fake boyfriend reminded you that you had to go meet him this afternoon. Rolling your eyes and ignoring her comment, you crossed your arms and marched ahead in the direction of the location you had agreed to meet.
“Hey! Wait up,” Clara called, jogging after you. “Where are you going?”
“Thanks for the reminder,” you waved back at your friend though you didn’t turn around. “I have to go meet Cheol after class.”
“Oh, you guys are on thatlevel now,” Clara wiggled her eyebrows and nudged you teasingly as she caught up.
You cocked an eyebrow at her in confusion.
“Cheol,” she repeated after you.
“Clara–”
“What? It’s kind of cute how comfortable you two are getting.”
Damn Jisoo getting in my ship’s way, I love him but like… Cheollie The whole research and photography date is just so cute, I want that but thats not realistic of me
Reading this update was like walking along a trail of a beautiful mountain and then making the wrong step and tripping by the end? Does that make sense?? I’m sick so oh well but getting an update on this made my day
Pairing: Seungcheol x fem!reader Featuriing: Wonwoo
Synopsis:Fearful of losing her, yet unwilling to leave; this agreement between Seungcheol and his best friend’s little sister was meant to be casual and temporary, yet he finds himself growing more attached to her day by day.
Genre: Fluff, angst, fake dating, fwb(?), slowburn, older brother’s best friend!Seungcheol, badboy!Seungcheol, innocent!reader, older brother!Jihoon, non-idol!au, university!au, low-key Crazy Rich Asians!au(Seungcheol is RICH - implied chaebol lifestyle, Jihoon and reader’s family aren’t chaebols and are commoners but well-off)
Warnings:Uh … teasing? Nothing, but fluff really in this chapter!
WC:2.5K
A/N:A shorter, but (kind of) informative chapter :) (because there’s still more tea that needs to be spilt-)
“Yang Kyungsoon,” Wonwoo pushed his phone across the table over to you.
You peered up at him briefly before taking it into your own hands. An Instagram photo of raven-haired beauty posing in a strapless white satin gown appeared on his screen. A closer look and though her hair was darker than it was now, it was unmistakably the same woman you had just met moments earlier. Scrolling down, another image of Kyungsoon appeared; this time a selfie of herself laying in a hammock with a pretty red flower in her hair, her lips painted a matching seductive color while the rest of her makeup was kept simple and natural.
“S-she’s … stunning,” the words fell from your lips before you realized it. You couldn’t help, but feel a sense of inferiority looking through her pictures. You looked back up at Wonwoo, your finger hovering over his phone.
Wonwoo reached over to take his phone. “Undoubtedly so – it’s no wonder Seungcheol fell for her.” He tapped out of Instagram and clicked the screen dark, shoving the device into his back pocket.
“Ah … so they were together?” you asked nervously, pretending to not be bothered by the fact.
how seungcheol says “i love you” for the first time
he’s always known the deep insecurities you held within you and the lingering stares you sent in his direction when someone got too close to him for your liking. just like now, if looks could kill, the girl that is currently twirling her hair and giggling in front of him, would vanish into thin air. you sip your jameson and ginger ale with lime bitterly despite the tasty alcoholic drink in your hand.
seungcheol moves away from the girl with a light smile and he had all the intention to make his way back to you, but a hand on his arm stopped him from walking any further than two steps. he was sidetracked by a female again, and you sigh, tears lining your eyes and you decide to chug your drink and call it a day. once you do, you turn to your friends who are conversing with each other and taking shots after shots.
“hey, where are you going?” wonwoo tilts his head up, watching as you drape your leather jacket over your body.
“home.” you give him a barely-there-smile and he notices the frown that envelops your face when you look back at seungcheol who is now laughing with the woman who is dressed better and looked much more beautiful than you.
“thought you were sleeping at cheol’s?” he furrows his eyebrows, but he follows you out of the club where you attempt to hail a taxi because one, you didn’t bring your car for obvious reasons and two, you didn’t want to take a bus because you’d have to wait awhile and you didn’t want seungcheol to catch up with you once he realises you’re gone.
“go back inside buddy,” you tap wonwoo’s arm but he doesn’t budge. you both watch as another taxi passes you by, none interested to take a drunken passenger in.
“you know you can just wait for him and jeonghan since it’s their turn to drive us all home,” he nudges your body gently and you sigh once you realise how childish you were being.
“i’m stupid right?”
“depends on the situation yn,” he chuckles and leans against the wall and you follow suit.
“i-” you suck in a breath and close your eyes, “i don’t deserve him, wonu. we’re completely opposite of each other and what if i’m just stopping him from meeting someone that can actually be a better partner for him.”
wonwoo rolls his eyes at your words because he knows how much seungcheol treasures your relationship and he’s witnessed him fall in love with you, everyone has but you.
“come on, you’re being dumb. he loves you yn.”
“how come he’s never said it then?” you turn your head towards him, and much to your surprise, seungcheol is standing merely inches away from the both of you.
wonwoo’s eyes drift back and forth between the two of you as you stare at your boyfriend who’s intently staring back at you with a deep frown on his face. you recognise the tiny hurt on his face and it makes your own heart ache. wonwoo taps your side and he walks back into the club, not before sending a signal to seungcheol, a small “you better fix this” his way.
“why’d you leave all of a sudden?” he shuffles over to you in hurried steps, stopping right in front of you and ultimately caging you between the brick wall and his body so you wouldn’t be able to escape easily.
“got too warm in there and i’m kind of sleepy too,” you fake a yawn and if it weren’t for the tension between you two, he would’ve laughed.
“tell me the truth love,” he whispers, catching your chin between his fingers and lifting it up so he can read your eyes.
“you can tell me sweetheart, i promise i won’t get mad,” he brushes your cheek with his thumb and you bask in the sudden warmth radiating from his hands. he hears you suck in a breath and the shaky release of air from your lungs. he knows you’re trying your best to tell him and he’s grateful you’re trying.
“i hate it when i let my insecurities get the better of me,” you mumble and you know he hears you words because his eyes turn glossy at your words.
“i hate this aching feeling i get whenever someone more beautiful and capable of loving you approaches you whenever we’re together. i hate the fact that even though they know we’re together, they still try to flirt with you.” you sniffle and wipe the tears from your eyes.
“are you done?”
“no just give me a minute,” he chuckles at your words and you finally crack a smile.
“do you love me?”
seungcheol’s breath hitches in his throat and he suddenly hates himself for not telling you how he’s been feeling for months.
“i love you,” he whispers, leaning his forehead against your own, “i love you with all my heart and i hope you know you’re the only one i’ll ever need, i’ll ever want.”
“i’m sorry for being so childish,” you whisper against his lips, but he shakes his head.
“you’re feelings are valid, you hear me?” he wipes the remaining tears from your eyes and you’ve never been more grateful for him.
you catch a glimpse of his shadow by the window near your own and you start to wonder why his lights are still on and the vibrations on your wall isn’t helping with the headache that is currently pounding your temples in pain. you’ve been forcing yourself to sleep for the past hour but your neighbour had an agenda of his own and now here you are, sporting a headache and the bubbling anger within you is soon to make an appearance if he doesn’t shut up in the next minute.
you see, it wasn’t always like this. you got along with your neighbour, mingyu was warm and sweet, liked to help you bring your groceries up to your apartment, greeted your dog like his own and he even went as far as cooking you a meal once in a while when he made “too much”. but somehow, along the way, his attitude shifted and gone were the days he warmed your heart.
the crash of a bed frame took you out of your trance, and you decided it was time to be an asshole in return. you grabbed your hoodie and placed it over you and next, you took your phone in hand with 911 already typed out on your screen.
you walk to his apartment clad in pyjama bottoms and your hoodie, and you knock. you knock so furiously that it doesn’t take him much time to open his door with drooping eyes and a boyish smirk on his face.
“oh hey neighbour,” his voice slurs and you instantly get a whiff of the alcohol reeking from his sweat soaked body. “can you please for the love of god keep it down?” you plead, tears already lining your eyes because one, you hated confrontations and two, you’re goddamn tired from the hell week your boss put you through. the endless samples he assigned you to analyse and the not to mention the missing samples that disappeared from the PCR machine.
“oh come on neighbour it’s my birthday, give me some slack,” he grins goofily and if you weren’t so angry at his being, you heart would’ve swooned at the sight but it didn’t. you raise your hand up where your phone is and you click your screen.
“what the fuck, did you just call 911?”
“you bet,” you smirk, walking away from your neighbour and leaving him gobsmacked and sobered.
—
he’s still annoyed with you. he’s annoyed at the fact that you called the cops on him after having too many drinks and blasting music until the early hours of the morning. he took advantage of the fact that his neighbours adored him, bar you, and the fact that your neighbours are all elderly people that use hearing aids.
he catches a glimpse of you in the elevator and he almost backs away but when he sees you struggling with a box, his conscience tells him to help you even though he knows how he gets on your nerves.
“new furniture?” he asks, taking your box easily into his arms and you almost complain but your arms are tired and your body is exhausted beyond relief. you don’t answer him and he doesn’t bother pressing you on any further. when you finally arrive on your floor, you expected him to drop it off by your feet and walk over to his own apartment but to your surprise, he walks ahead of you and waits for you to open the door.
“where do you want me to put this?” he peers over at you and that’s when he notices the bags under your eyes and your sunken cheeks. “have you been eating properly?” he places the box in the living room and he makes his way to your kitchen to snoop around. he finds different take away boxes and he notes how your fridge is almost empty.
“you’re eating at my apartment, let’s go,” he grabs your hand and you don’t have any energy to protest so you let him lead you into his apartment. you even let him sit you down on the kitchen counter and he proceeds to busy himself with preparing your first meal of the day. you didn’t mean to skip your meals, but the lab was just so busy this week that you forgot to take them altogether.
this wasn’t new to you. he used to make you meals while you were clad in his oversized t-shirt, fresh out of the shower while you ogled his bare back. he’d often turn around and give you his infamous smirks which made your heart skip a few beats in return.
“how long has it been since your last meal?” he looks over his shoulder for a second and you avoid his gaze and shrug instead. you hear him sigh, and he turns off the stove momentarily. mingyu walks over to stand in front of you. he slots himself between your thighs, rubbing soft circles on them as he coaxes you to look at him.
“come on sweetheart, won’t you look at me?” he whispers, leaning down to catch your eyes with his own and when he finally does, he sees your tearful face and he suddenly regrets being the meanest ex-boyfriend to exist. “why’d you have to turn into such an asshole?” you sob, smacking his chest with your fist. he grabs your wrists and he pulls you into him. your body shakes with every tear you let out and he lets you cling on to him as if your life depended on it, as if he was the only person that can keep you afloat.
“i-i didn’t mean to,” he huffs out, instantly regretting his words because nothing he can say or do can justify how he treated you after your hasty break up. your relationship lasted as they all do, but the mess that came afterwards caused a rift between you and mingyu and it was never the same.
“you’re an ass,” you sniffle, removing yourself from his embrace and he instantly grabs ahold of your cheeks. he wipes your remaining tears with his thumbs and you bask in the warmth from his hands and you almost melt in his hold.
“i love you,” he says out of the blue. your heart beats rapidly at his words that he failed to utter when you were still together.
“b-but didn’t you have someone over last night?” you gasp, tears starting to line your eyes again. he looks as you in confusion first and a sign of relief takes over his face once he realises what you were talking about.
“i’m pretty sure that was wonwoo and his girlfriend,” he grimaces, making a mental note to change his sheets before he sleeps.
“oh.”
“yeah.”
you sniffle again and he helps you wipe your tears from your face.
Member: Joshua Genre: Angst WordCount: 712 Warning: death mention
Joshua was certain that you couldn’t break his heart anymore that you already had.
Granted, he was pretty sure that things wouldn’t have worked out anyway, since the both of you were fighting more than you ever had and just simply couldn’t see eye to eye. He felt awful about the way you seemed to slowly fall apart. About the way your eyes lost their light. He never wanted it to end like this.
He couldn’t bring himself to remove you completely from his life. He still lived in the apartment you once shared. The pictures of the both of you were still littered on the wall. Things you left behind had stayed in their place, long forgotten. Your favorite mug still sat in its place in the cupboard. He still kept those cheesy notes you would leave around the apartment. The goldfish that you had taken home one day still swam around in its tank, which reminded Josh that he needed to clean it more often.
Joshua hadn’t loved anyone more than he loved you. More than he still loves you. He knew you were probably happier, were in less pain now that you had gone, but he was selfish. He wanted you here with him.
He remembered that the two of you would go down to the river and watch the sunset every once in a while. He remembered your favorite drink from the local coffee shop. He remembered your favorite flowers, and how you would always keep them on display much longer than you should have, with the petals browning and the stem weakening.
But Josh knew that he wouldn’t get the chance to go to the river with you again. He knew he couldn’t buy your favorite drink for you again. He knew that if he brought your favorite flowers home, there would be no one to surprise them with. Death is permanent, after all.
The sickness came unexpectedly. Who could predict cancer? It tore you apart. You and Josh fought often. Money was a common topic. Sometimes it was about you dying, something Josh would never want to talk about.
Joshua couldn’t think about losing you. He tried to make you happy, tried to pretend that everything was alright. He knew more than anyone, though, that time was running out.
So when the day finally came, and you left the world one smile less, Josh couldn’t let everything about you die. He kept all of your things. He took care of your goldfish. He stayed in your shared apartment. And occasionally, he would go visit you.
He made sure that he got you a spot facing west so you could see the sunset. He would stop by the coffee shop, where they knew his and your orders by memory. They would ask him where you were, they hadn’t seen you in a while. Josh would just nod and leave. He stopped by the flower shop, picking out the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen in his life. And then he would go see you, at the top of the hill where you could see most of the city, including the river.
The vase of flowers next to you had wilted, nothing more than a brown and crunchy mess. True to character, you had kept them long past their expiration. The drink he had left for you last time was gone, probably taken by some animals. Josh didn’t mind. He replaced the flowers, and put the drinks in between the two of you.
Sometimes, Joshua felt like he knew why you kept those flowers. He, too, tried to hold on to something beautiful long after it had lived its time on this planet. But his flowers were a part of him, something he couldn’t let go of, even though they were gone. He had to learn how to, though, since he knew that you wouldn’t want him to keep them this long.
The sun had started to grow heavy in the sky, and Josh could hear your voice in the wind.
“Beautiful sunset, isn’t it?” He said into the empty air. He knew you had heard him.
And together, you watched the sunset dip behind the buildings of the city below you, and vanish under the horizon.
genre ➳ roomates au, fluff, pwp, humour, roomates to lovers.
pairing ➳ roomate!Mingyu x female!reader
warnings ➳ profanities, too much domesticity even tho they ain’t dating, lots of awkward convos? yn is horny af, pinning, kissing, an underwear thief , male masturbation, yn spies on him , size kinkkk, dom!Gyu, panty sniffing, fingering, dirty talk, female oral, massive dicc mingyu, titty sucking, marking, unprotected sex(don’t do this irl), virgin sex(surprise?), multiple orgasms, creampie, aftercare.
word count ➳ 6.8k
synopsis➳without much options left on your hands, you become Mingyu’s roommate. things take a wild turn after a few weeks.
A/N: This was supposed to come out on the 6th but we all know the news regarding wonwoo(may his mom rip) so it was only right to postpone it. A late happy birthday to dear Mingyu. Ik the banner is shitty so let’s just ignore it. As always, let me know your thoughts and I’ll retire to my penthouse in hell <3.
“I mean it’s the opportunity of a lifetime man. Why are you hesitating?” Seokmin groans in frustration from beside as you sit and stare at the cafeteria table as if burning holes into it will bring you answers.
“I know it is!” You cry. “I just— I don’t know…I’ve never lived with a guy before. What if he’s messy? What if he doesn’t clean up after himself? What if he stinks?”
Jeonghan sighs exhaustedly from opposite you, rubbing his hand frustratedly over his face. “Everyone on this campus knows how clean and neat Mingyu keeps his house! Is that really your concern?”
No, it actually isn’t.
The concern is that you have a teeny tiny crush on Kim Mingyu. And you’re not sure if rooming with him will help this fleeting feeling. But it’s also true that you’ve never been roommates with a guy before. You’ve lived by yourself ever since you got into college no matter how much your parents forbade you. It was until last week that your landlord abruptly announced that he was going to sell the whole building, giving you two weeks to pack your things and move out.
It doesn’t help that it’s the middle of the senior year and all the dorms are completely booked. It will take months to get an empty room if you are lucky. And the prices of one-bedroom apartments, even studio apartments near your campus are astonishingly high and way out of the budget for a college student with limited funds like you. So when Jeonghan announces that Mingyu has a spare room in his apartment and doesn’t mind a roommate, in fact, is looking for one, the idea definitely tempts you. But your feelings make you think twice.
What if he’s noisy? What if he brings a different girl over each night? It is no news how the whole campus crushes on Mingyu’s extremely blessed visuals, height, body, mannerisms— the list will go on. Everybody, including you, agrees that they’ve never seen a person as perfect as him. Which makes it all harder to share a house with him.
But you don’t have the luxury to ponder over it because you have about five days until your stupid landlord kicks you out. The best option you have now is to stay with Mingyu until you’ve found another solution.
“You know you’re lucky.” Seungkwan pouts, sipping on his iced americano. “Mingyu’s house is one hell of a place, trust me. And you get to stay there paying half the rent. I’m jealous of you. I lived there so you can take my word. I can’t believe that beanpole kicked me out just because I left tangerine peels on the coffee table once.” He mutters under his breath, making Jeonghan roll his eyes. “That was because you didn’t pay rent, idiot.”
The younger man glares at him, pinching his arm as Jeonghan groans in pain, making you roll your eyes at their antics.
“You know what,” you sigh, finally arriving at a conclusion. “I’ll take the offer.”
-
Sharing a house with Mingyu proves to be an extreme sport. The sport being ‘try not to fall for the husband material of a man he is.’
Like, the man is the epitome of perfect. It has been a little less than a month since you’ve moved in and the way Mingyu has been treating you is definitely not good for your heart. You thought they didn’t make guys like this anymore but here he is, respectful, polite, neat and handsome as fuck.
The day you moved in, you had arrived to see his apartment clean and pristine, not a speck of dust anywhere as you marveled at how beautiful the place was. It was sleek, modern and spacious; something very few college students got, especially with the amount of money you agreed to pay. He later told you the landlord is a close friend of his family so he offered this place to them at a minimum price.
Mingyu had settled in the master bedroom so you took the second spare bedroom without hesitation. Though your room is a bit smaller than his, it’s still spacious, having enough room to fit all your stuff that you brought in two pieces of luggage.
Mingyu had some ground rules established and you were more than happy to follow them. Clean after yourself, do not enter each other’s room without permission, if you’re having people over let your roommate know beforehand. These are no issues; you are actually glad because you hold the same mindset and it sets boundaries.
The issue, however, is the way Mingyu walks around the house half naked. You were first blessed (tortured) with the sight one morning, on a weekend, when you had just woke up and stumbled into the kitchen looking like a little gremlin to make yourself a coffee. As you downed a glass of water, he appeared from his room, only clad in a pair of grey sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. The sight of Mingyu’s perfectly sculpted, taut chest and biceps made you choke on the water as he rushed closer to you, asking what was wrong with a worried look on his face. You literally ran from him, seeking refuge in your room where you stayed locked up all day to recover from the harrowing memory.
Another issue is how kind and helpful he is, diving the chores evenly, cooking every night, helping you with your papers whenever you were stuck, helping you reach the top shelves when you were looking for something.
Right.
It was no news how tall he was but whenever he’d appear next to you, you would feel like a microorganism, his immensely bulky form towering over you. He didn’t hesitate to tease you, making harmless jokes about how tiny you are which sent your heart racing and face burning.
Maybe the only imperfect thing about him was his clumsiness but honestly, you find it endearing. It makes you adore him even more; how he completely forgets how giant he is and bumps into things, how he often drops utensils while cooking and then picks them up with a sheepish smile. It all makes your heart race.
Your roommate, Kim Mingyu, his simple existence makes your heart race.
Like right now, as you watch him stir fry the shrimp for the fried rice he’s making, wearing a sleeveless tee that shows off his ungodly thick biceps. You are supposed to be studying, your laptop and notes sprawled out on the coffee table but your eyes keep wandering over to him, how his biceps bulge whenever he grips the pan as he hums a tune, too lost in his own head to notice your stare. Swallowing, you reach for your water bottle beside you for the nth time, trying to quench the thirst that water will not satisfy. You wonder how it’d feel to be wrapped around those humongous arms and you desperately wish he’d just pick you up and throw y—
“You’re not hungry yet are you?” He suddenly questions, making your eyes widen as you snap out of your thoughts and quickly avert your eyes like he can read the scandalous thoughts going through your mind. “Um- n-no. No, I’m not.”
He smiles, “Good. I’m planning on making some stir fried tofu. Your favorite.”
“Thanks, Mingyu.” You offer him a kind smile, trying not to stare at his arms or broad shoulders as he busies himself again.
That night, long after you have gone to bed, you toss and turn, trying hard to sleep which never comes. Your body is tired but your mind isn’t, probably because you are still thinking about how much you want to be dicked down by Mingyu.
When you realize you won’t be able to sleep this way, you get out of bed and pad towards the dining room to get yourself a cool glass of water. You don’t bother turning on the light as there is sufficient light coming not only from the outside but also from the small led bulb above the kitchen counter.
As you gulp down the cool liquid, a tiny sliver of light catches your attention and you realize it’s coming from Mingyu’s bedroom. It’s nearly one am but Mingyu has a habit of staying up late and finishing his work, so it doesn’t come across as a surprise. However, as you set the glass down and start heading back to your room, a noise alerts you, making you stop in your tracks.
You remain still, holding your breath and focusing on the sound which doesn’t return for a while. Just when you’re about to decide you heard wrong, it floats through again and you hear it clearly this time.
A moan. A deep, throaty moan.
Shit.
Your eyes widen as you realize what that must mean. A civil, well-mannered person would ignore it and give him his privacy but you’re none of that so you start tiptoeing towards Mingyu’s room. All types of thoughts race through your mind. Did he bring a girl home? But he didn’t mention anything and neither did he go outside. This leaves one possibility: he’s pleasuring himself.
As you stand right by his door, your ears on alert, the sounds become much clearer and you rub your thighs subconsciously. The little gap between the door and the doorframe is not enough to see what’s inside so you take a deep breath and decide: fuck it.
Without much thinking, your shaky hands move, praying he doesn’t notice as you push the door ever so slightly as it creates barely a one-inch gap. Small but enough for you to peek in. Which you do.
Mingyu lies in his bed, his back resting against a bunch of pillows as half lays there. But that is not the cause of your concern. The issue is how he’s half naked, his pajamas bunched around his knees as his cock stands up proudly. Eyes closed tightly in bliss, his hand fists around the flesh of this length, up and down repeatedly as soft grunts slip from his lips.
Your throat dries up.
But you have yet to see, you realize, as your eyes shift over to his other hand in which lies a small piece of clothing. With your life in your hands, you move even closer to the door and squint, holding your breath. When he shifts and opens his fist, you realize what the material is.
It’s your underwear.
Your. Underwear.
It’s your favorite lilac purple underwear with lace seams. The one that went missing a couple of days ago. You thought you had somehow misplaced it but looks like you are wrong because your roommate has it.
But that’s not the concern.
Mingyu is jerking off to your fucking underwear.
What the actual fuck?
And there’s more in store for you as Mingyu’s hands move to bring your panty towards his face and absolutely mortified, you watch with bated breath as he holds it over his nose and takes a deep inhale.
Your legs nearly give up.
Like a shameless, horny bitch you stay rooted to your spot and watch as Mingyu’s moans increase in pitch, his hands moving faster on his cock, eyes tightly shut and your panties on his face. The erotic sight has your pussy leaking.
It is the epitome of filth and sin. Nothing can company to how vulgar yet erotic this feels. Half of you just want to barge in and jump on top of him, make him help you with the ache between your legs while the other half wants to run to the north pole, never wanting to face this man again.
A particular deep groan jolts you out of your head as you watch your roommate reach his climax, his deep moans echoing in your ears as his body slightly arches off the bed, thick spurts of cum flying out of his large cock.
And then silence.
Mingyu lays on his bed, a hand over his head as he catches his breath while you do so on the other side of the door. It’s like you’ve run a marathon. Beads of sweat shine on your forehead as your heart rings loudly in your ears, your underwear sticking uncomfortably to your core.
You need to leave now if you don’t want to get caught snooping.
The little sensible part of your brain hisses at you, making your feet move as you carefully, shakily, tiptoe back into your room, your throat now dryer than it originally was.
-
For the next few days, you avoid Mingyu like plague. You know how crazy you look, how obvious it is but you can’t help how your mind displays the sight of his naked body whenever you see his face and how your pussy starts throbbing. At first, Mingyu brushed it off but now he looks at you with concern and you feel extremely bad.
But what do you say to him?
Hey, I snooped on you like a creep as you jerked off and also, do you mind returning my favorite panties?
“_____?” Mingyu snaps his fingers in front of your as you blink and look at him, realizing he’s been calling you for a while. “You okay?”
“Uhm- yep!” You manage the fakest smile. Mingyu’s face falls, “Stop lying. You’ve been so weird the past few days. Did I do something wrong?”
Oh god.
“No! No, not at all,” you immediately clarify, feeling guilty. “I just—” you stare helplessly at his face. “I just have a lot on my mind right now.” You whisper making him sigh.
He says nothing for a while and you expect him to scold you or something but he just says. “Okay. How about a movie tonight? It’ll help you get your mind off of the things you’re so worried about.”
The expectant and puppy-eyed look he gives you breaks your heart and you know you’d rather die than say no to that face. So you let out a defeated sigh and grit your teeth. “Okay.”
“Great!” He grins excitedly. “I’ll make some pasta! You can choose the movie!”
-
It’s nine pm when you two sit down with your food and start the movie. It’s a studio Ghibli movie, one you’ve watched many times but you don’t mind watching a few times more. You two sit on the couch, maintaining a certain distance from each other, watching the TV screen in silence as you stuff your face full of the pasta. Like always, Mingyu’s cooking is exceptional and you devour the food within the first ten minutes. All this thinking and worrying had you starving the entire day. As you refill your plate Mingyu gives you a happy smile seeing you enjoy his cooking.
Ten more minutes later your belly is full and your plate is clean like Mingyu’s and you two sip the red wine in silence. You haven’t been able to pay much attention to the movie, instead, feeling hyperaware of his proximity and how you can smell a faint whiff of his musky scent.
It does things to you.
Veryvery bad things.
Shifting in your seat, you try to push those thoughts away but they come back in stronger, bigger waves, making you want to bang your head against the wall in frustration. There’s no way you can live like this. You’ll go crazy or die from a heart attack.
Huffing, you chew on your lower lip and try to concentrate on the movie playing, your eyebrows unknowingly shaping into a frown which Mingyu seems to notice.
“You okay?” He asks making you blink a few times. “Do you feel sick or something?” He questions, genuinely concerned. You sigh, rubbing your temples and murmuring a 'no’ which doesn’t do much to convince Mingyu as you can feel his stare burning into your skin.
An awkward, tensed silence settles as the volume from the TV fades into the background due to the stillness in the air while you try to avoid Mingyu’s gaze and focus hard on the floor. But you can only do that for so long before growing restless. So, without much thinking, you throw caution in the air and meet his eyes.
“Have you…by any chance seen my underwear? It’s lilac in color. I can’t seem to find it.” Half of you feel unequivocally mortified at how bluntly you asked the question while the other half patiently waits for his answer, eyeing his reaction carefully.
And it is something that you expected. A tiny hint of red appears in his ears as he watches you with wide eyes, stuttering, “I- um, n-no I haven’t. I- I’ll keep an eye out though.”
Disappointed, you only nod, “Okay.”
“Is that what has been bothering you all day?” He asks tentatively.
“What? No!” Now it’s your turn to feel embarrassed. “I just- I just suddenly remembered it…”
“I see.” He watches you cautiously for a few beats before setting his eyes back on the TV screen. Out of the corner of your eye, you take a look at him and you realize he is thinking hard. Unlike before, there’s a little frown on his face, his focus not on the movie but somewhere deep in his thoughts.
You desperately wish he’d make a move, say something, do something. It doesn’t make sense for him to jerk off to your underwear unless he feels a special way about you? Or…is this a bad, perverted habit of his? Does he steal any woman’s underwear and jerk off to it?
“Mingyu?” You call for him, the thoughts racing in your head finally exhausting you and paired with the little liquid courage in your blood you ask. “Can be honest with me?”
You don’t miss the look of panic that flashes across his face. “Sure.”
“Do you… do you like me?” It’s embarrassing to say it out loud, so much that you want to cringe into yourself and disappear forever. Maybe he actually doesn’t like you and you are getting ahead of yourself. Now that you’ve laid out all your cards, dread swims through your every vein but there is no going back.
“W-what?” He half chokes.
“Do you like me?” You repeat, voice softer this time, your eyes pleading with him silently to say yes, to assure you that you haven’t made a fool out of yourself. Except he doesn’t say anything but gapes at you like you’ve grown another head on your shoulder. Disappointment starts to settle in your bones but you decide you won’t go down like a coward.
“Because…I like you. I like you…a lot Mingyu.” You whisper, eyes straying from him in shyness.
There. You’ve done it.
You should probably start looking for a new place to live.
“____…” He breathes your name softly, his voice a little shocked as if he didn’t just expect you to say that. Hell, you didn’t expect to say that.
“____,” he starts again, clearing his throat as you mentally prepare yourself for a rejection. You have half a heart to interrupt him and run but you decide to hear him out before doing something more stupid. “I- I like you too. I really like you.”
You blink. Once. Twice. Thrice. Waiting for him to say it’s a prank, waiting for you to wake up from this dream because there is no way—
“W-what?” You choke.
Mingyu turns shy under your gaze. “I-…yeah. I like you…too.”
“Why- why didn’t you tell me!” Your voice is incredulous.
“Because I didn’t know that you liked me too!” He defends. “I didn’t want to confess and then make it uncomfortably for you to stay here. I…I don’t know. I just thought you didn’t like me back.”
“I’m literally crazy about you, you know…” You whisper bashfully. “I have had a crush on you since the junior year…like every other girl.”
Mingyu snorts. “Well, I’ve had a crush on you since you moved in. God, you’re just so… adorable. I saw you dancing in the kitchen in those skimpy shorts you wear one morning while making pancakes and…I just fell for you.”
“Oh my god.” You hide your face in your hands in embarrassment making Mingyu laugh. “You saw that!” You whine, embarrassed.
“Yes. I did.” He shuffles closer to you to pry your hands off your face and offers you a sweet smile, one that displays his canines. Your heart starts racing and you have this desperate urge to feel his lips against yours and just thinking about it makes your toes curl. So you whisper, eyes focused on his lips. “Will you kiss me, Mingyu?”
He looks surprised for a second before he grins cockily, “With pleasure,” and then captures your lips in a kiss. They melt against his soft flesh perfectly as he takes his sweet time, kissing you softly, passionately while his other hand cups your jawline to tilt your head.
Soft sighs of pleasure release from your lips as your hands bunch the fabric of his t-shirt in a tight grip. Mingyu pulls back for a second, locking his eyes with yours and the desire blazing in them has you embarrassingly wet. Desperate to feel him again you dive back in for another kiss, this one stronger and needier as you chase his tongue in desperate motions. His tongue wraps around yours, waltzing together and the sheer messiness of the act, the subtle taste of wine on his lips, the string of saliva connecting from your tongue to his, all have you desperately rutting on the couch. This is your wildest dream and it is coming true.
“Mingyu…” You pant. “I n-need you.”
He smirks. “You do baby? Where?” He softly trails his lips on your cheek before they hover over your ear. “Where does my pretty roommate need me?” He whispers, his hot breath tickling your ear, making you whine softly. “I-inside me.”
He hums, satisfied, grabbing a little flesh of your neck between his teeth and sucking. “Then let’s take this to the bedroom shall we?” He doesn’t wait for your reply, instead latches his arms underneath the back of your thighs and lifts you, his feet quickly moving towards his bedroom where he drops you on the bed rather unceremoniously, hastily starting to take off his tee.
Biting your lip, you watch him with dilated pupils and bated breath as his sculpted figure comes into view. He’s extremely large and bulky, in all the right places which does not come to you as a surprise because you know how much of a gym rat he is. But seeing his protruding, firm muscles without any barrier for the first time has your throat dry, pussy wet and size kink shooting up the roof.
You really want him to throw you around like a fucking ball.
Mingyu watches you watching him hungrily and with a cocky smirk, he lets you enjoy the view for a while before he reaches for your shirt. “Let’s take this off, hmm?” You can only nod as you help him with the act and as soon as your top half is bare, his lips lock with yours once more, his hands traveling towards your breasts to cup them in his palm gently. Your body arches, moving towards his touch as he hums in satisfaction, massaging your soft flesh and kneading them in his large hands. When he’s had enough of your lips, his mouth ventures downwards, following the column of your neck and then your collarbone before stopping on your tits. He latches his mouth around a nipple and sucks hard, not breaking eye contact with you as you let out a high pitched moan.
“Aghhh!”
Seeing your response, he sucks harder before softly nipping around the sensitive bud and then moving onto your other breast, doing the same. Your hands tangle in his hair as you hold him against you, hooded eyes watching him devour you like you’re his last meal.
When he’s done marking your chest, he pulls back to watch your heated face; your hair a mess, temples coated with a sheen of perspiration, struggling to catch your breath before his hands work on removing your leggings. He tugs them off at once and the grin displaying on his face lets you know just how excited he is to see you clothed just in your panties. He inches his face towards your thigh where he presses soft slow kisses before tugging the flesh between his teeth. His lips move from the top of your thighs to your inner thighs where he increases the intensity of his ministrations before finally stopping on your clothed core. Taking a quick peek at your face and holding your gaze he traces his lips over the fabric of your underwear as arousal seeps from your core. His hands skim over your legs, his fingertips leaving tinglings in their wake before they reach to tug your panties.
“Wait- uhm!” You suddenly stop him, a thought occurring to you, voice shaky for no particular reason. Mingyu’s brows furrow in concern as he retracts his hands but you quickly reach for them and whisper. “Uhm…just be gentle. This is…my first time.”
His eyes widen like saucers making you cringe. Did you ruin the mood? Is he going to laugh at you? Unable to withstand his stare you hide your face in your hands, murmuring. “Don’t look at me like that.” Your voice is meek.
He clears his throat. “No! Uhm- I’m just surprised.” He murmurs. “I mean, you’re so hot and I thought…I don’t know…” His voice fades as you take a peek at him through your fingers and you can see a blush coating his face. How can a man be so adorable and hot at the same time?
“You think I’m hot?” You can’t help but tease.
“You’re realizing that now?” He rolls his eyes. “Of course you’re hot.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing ever. There’s a small moment of silence as you fidget, waiting for him to say or do something as you feel something unsaid hanging in the air. “Well…” He scratches the back of his head. “If it makes you feel any better, this is my first time too.”
Your jaw hits the floor.
No way.
There is no way Kim Mingyu—
“You’re kidding.”
“Wish I was.”
His solemn and somewhat embarrassed look tells you he’s fully serious and let out a small, unceremonious noise of shock.
“I can’t believe you haven’t stuck your dick in something yet.” You murmur, voice laced with disbelief as you gape at him. He flinches at your words. “That’s one way to put it. I just— I don’t know. It just didn’t happen. I was this close though one time. Like, my pants were literally off and so was this girl’s but just as we were about to start her brother barged in—”
“Oh.” You interrupt, not really interested in hearing his failed attempt at having sex.
“Yeah, you get the point.” He mumbles, cheeks tinted pink. “Can we…return to what we were doing?”
“Y-yeah. Sure.” You chuckle breathily, the tingling sensation returning on your skin. Mingyu smiles as he shuffles closer to you and presses a soft, reassuring kiss on your lips. “Just relax. I’ll take care of you.” You nod mindlessly as you hum and chase his lips, his addictive taste leaving you craving for more. So once again your lips tangle in a messy kiss and your hand hovers over the waistband of his shorts. Bravely, you tug at them and it captures Mingyu’s attention as he retracts his lips from yours and gives you a lazy smile. “Impatient, aren’t we?”
“Please.” You only beg.
He chuckles softly, a look of adoration on his face as he gives your cheek a peck that makes your heart dance happily. “All in good time, my love. Let’s get you prepared first.”
You swallow, watching him take off your panties which now have a damp spot in them and toss it behind him. His eyes stay glued to your core and you’re about to close your legs out of embarrassment when he grabs your thighs and pulls them apart. “Be a good girl.” His eyes shine dangerously, his gravelly voice going straight to your pussy and you have half a heart to just jump on his dick.
Keeping his eyes locked on yours, he pops a couple of his digits into his mouth, making a show of licking them which makes you lick your dry lips. Once his fingers are covered in his spit he moves them towards your pussy, gently stroking your lips, eyes never leaving yours, looking out for any signs of discomfort. “Tell me if it hurts.” He murmurs softly rubbing your entrance before inserting one finger inside and immediately you fall back on the bed, a low groan leaving you.
“Good?” He asks.
“Mhmm. S-so good.” You sigh, bunching his sheets in your hands. Humming, Mingyu inserts a second finger before starting to move the two digits in tandem, curling them inside you and stretching your walls slowly. You continue to moan loudly, the feel of his fingers inside your velvety walls driving you mad. His name slips from your lips in lustful pants as he continues scissoring his fingers inside you, sometimes locking his eyes with you, giving you a look that tells you he wants to eat you alive.
Once you adjust to two fingers inside you, he pushes in a third, increasing his pace so much that you feel dizzy and taste your orgasm. “M-mingyu…make me come… please.”
“I will.” He promises before attaching his lips to your clit. “Fuck!” You scream as his lips come in contact with your swollen bud, legs thrashing around him. He flicks his tongue around your clit while working his fingers inside you and when he decides to pull the sensitive flesh of your clit between his teeth, your orgasm crashes you. Toes curling, you let out a wail as you feel the pleasure coarse through your veins, only intensified by his relentless sucking on your clit.
When you can’t take anymore, you half-heartedly try to pry him off of you. “Mingyu… I can’t.” He only hums, giving your clit one long suck before pulling back and sitting on his knees, a proud smile on his face, lips coated with your arousal.
He pushes his fingers inside your mouth, making you taste yourself and feel his fingers deep inside your wet cavern. You moan around his digits, the dark look in his eyes setting sparks throughout your body. Once his fingers are clean he pulls you upwards, meeting your lips in a messy kiss. He devours your face, your teeth and tongue clashing and you moan as you taste yourself on his tongue. His boner pokes into your lower belly, distracting you as you pull back from the kiss to take a look at him.
There’s a tent on his boxers and you can see the clear outline of his thick length which sends shivers down your spine. Instinctively, your hands reach for his member, softly rubbing the sensitive flesh as he lets out a hiss of pleasure.
“Can I fuck you raw?” His blunt, abrupt question leaves you flustered.
“I was hoping you’d do that.”
“Fuck, really?” He groans, closing his eyes for a second. “You’re perfect, you know. And don’t worry, I’m clean.”
“Me too,” you whisper, stealing another kiss from him. “Now t-take this off please.” You whisper. He only smiles sinisterly, pushing you back onto the bed. As you get comfortable against the pillows he shuffles and pries the clothing from his hips, never breaking eye contact with you. You try, really try to hold his gaze but you can’t, your eyes shifting over to the monster between his legs and you suck in a sharp breath. “F-fuck. It’s huge.” You blurt out.
The smuggest look settles on his face as he watches you, a predatory glint in his eyes. “I’ll make sure it fits, love.” He promises and you swallow in anticipation and nervousness. Crawling over to you in slow yet confident movements, he traps you underneath him with his thick arms— literally the size of your face, planting them on both sides of your head as his large, solid chest hovers over yours, his face mere inches away from yours, not quite touching but close enough to feel his breath and you are now more aroused than ever. His sheer size and how he manages to make you feel small and helpless have you mewling. “M-mingyu hurry, n-need you.” Your arms snake around his lower back, pulling him close, his dick brushing on your stomach.
“And here I thought you wanted me to be gentle.” He teases with a smile, leaning down to kiss your jawline before moving back and sitting on the balls of his feet as he spits on his fingers and brings them to lube his cock. Throat parched, you watch him like an eager kid, waiting for her candy.
He teases you as he fists his length and brings it closer to your core, tapping on your sensitive clit but not giving you what you need. Whining, your hips move forward to him, trying to chase his length. “Mingyu!”
He grins amusedly, before finally lining up his length with your pussy and whispers. “Let me know if it hurts, hmm?”
You nod eagerly, sinking your fingers into his broad back, preparing yourself for the stretch. Giving you a reassuring look, Mingyu pushes in and it’s heaven and hell and the same time as the pain of being stretched flickers through your body before you feel the pleasure.
“Fuck!” You scream and he’s just a few inches in. The feeling is overwhelming, pleasurably so, that you don’t know what to do with it. “Fuck fuck fuck-” you keep chanting as Mingyu breathes harshly above you. “You okay?”
“Y-yes. Keep going. S-slow.”
And so he does, pushing himself in, inch by inch and every time you think he’s fully inside he keeps on pushing. Finally, he stops and you can almost feel him inside your belly, your velvety walls stretched to their limits in the most pleasurable ways.
“So fucking tight.” Mingyu hisses as if he’s in pain. Your arms wrap themselves tighter around him, pulling him closer as you needily attach your lips to his. He kisses you softly, careful not to move inside you, one of his hands coming up to play with your breast as a distraction. You chase his tongue with yours, the feeling of his length inside you bringing you a different kind of high that leaves you needier for him.
“You’re so wet and tight I could just come right now.” The man on top of you breathes, his eyes clouded with lust and need. A weak chuckle leaves your lips and you bury your face in the crook of his neck, sighing. “You can move now, I think.”
Grunting, Mingyu shifts inside you, pulling back fully before thrusting inside you slowly, letting you feel every inch of him. You whine and moan as he builds up his pace, slowly at first until his thrusts hit the most sensitive part inside you in precise movements. His hips snap into you harder as your toes curl and the bed shakes, soft whines of need falling from your mouth.
“God- M-mingyu! You’re so…big.” You pant, glazed eyes watching him with need. He grunts. “Oh yeah? And you’re so fucking small. Makes you want to fuck you till you break, little girl.”
Your pussy clenches deliciously at that. “Please do.”
Mingyu scoffs, amused and aroused at the same time as he continues his ruthless pounding, his mouth coming down to your neck to paint the flesh with love bites. “Didn’t know you had a size kink, love. You’re so nasty I love it.” He whispers near your ear making you shiver.
You want to say me neither but the way he’s drilling his cock into you gives you a hard time forming a cohesive reply. Instead, your fingernails dig deeper into his back and your cries of need keep rising. “You’re gonna come aren’t you? Can feel you tightening around me.” Mingyu pants, his stormy eyes watching you with intent.
“P-please.” You whisper mindlessly. He hums, picking up his pace to the point you feel like the bed is gonna break along with your pussy as his lips hover over your breasts. He drags the plump flesh on your soft mounds, kissing them gently before wrapping his lips around your nipple and toying with it using his tongue. You moan in pleasure, the repeated flicks of his warm, wet tongue on your sensitive bud making you clench around him, a new wave of arousal seeping from your core. It only increases as he softly bites your nipple while one of his large hands moves over to your other breast, groping it and pinching the nipple between his fingers.
“Mingyu!” You cry. “Gonna cum!”
“Do it. Come around my cock. Wanna see you make a mess.” He grunts, latching his mouth on the nipple that was being tortured by his hands and moving it towards your clit. His fingers rub over your swollen nub in circular motions and you feel it. White hot pleasure thrums in your veins as the coil wound tightly in your belly snaps, making your body shake as you teeter over the edge.
Mingyu feels your tight walls spasm around him and he groans. “Fuck, fuck. You’re so tight I’m gonna come.” His fingers don’t stop playing with your clit even through your orgasm, instead brings you closer to another one as you feel it develop in your lower belly.
“Gonna c-come again,” your voice is barely above a whisper, tears pricking your eyes at the overwhelming amount of pleasure your body is experiencing. Mingyu only hums and softly commands. “Do it. Come with me.”
And you do. Your body almost arches off the bed as your mouth hangs open in a silent scream, your body experiencing another toe-curling orgasm. Mingyu comes with you, his warm seed filling you up as you ride your high, only prolonging it further. His eyes are screwed shut as he empties himself inside you and the erotic sight of him lost in pleasure makes you clench around him again even though you are extremely sensitive.
His body slumps, his weight and warmth blanketing you as you both catch your breath, his face buried in your neck. After a few seconds, he seems to realize he’s crushing you with his weight so he pulls out and sags beside you, wasting no time pulling you close. You wince as you feel him drip down your pussy but you’re okay with it, for now, the warmth and comfort of his arms making you forget about everything else.
You simply lie next to him, hearing him breathe, feeling his chest rise and fall, his fingers dancing softly on your hipbone. When you almost doze off, he speaks, his voice gruff.
“How was it? You okay?” He supports his weight on his elbow and peeks a worried look at you. A lazy smile etches onto your face. “It was great. I’m really sore but it’s worth it.”
He chuckles quietly, bringing his lips onto your neck and pressing soft kisses that make you sigh in pleasure. “Mingyu?” You call for him softly, making him look at you. “Did you mean it? When you said you have a crush on me. This isn’t a one-time thing right?”
He looks a little offended. “Of course I meant it. And this definitely isn’t a one-time thing. I don’t think I can ever live without fucking you now.”
You flinch at his crude language but laugh nevertheless. “I could say the same.”
“Good.” He murmurs distractedly, his attention on nuzzling your neck. He seems to have an obsession with that part of your body. “Because there are so many places I want to fuck you against. On top of the list is against a wall.” Your pussy seems to be wide awake and alert at his words as you chide. “Mingyu!”
You feel him smile as he presses a kiss on your forehead and then lies back next to you. “After you’ve recovered of course.”
Humming happily, you wrap your arms around him, your face squishing against his chest. “I really like you, Gyu.” You whisper.
“I really like you too, love, in case you hadn’t figured it out yet.” There’s a hint of teasing in his voice but it’s harmless and you grin like a lovestruck fool. There’s a moment of silence after your confession until you remember something.
“Mingyu?” You peek up at his face. “Hmm?” His eyes meet yours.
“I think you have something to tell me.”
“What?” He blinks, confused. An evil smile crawls onto your face as you speak nonchalantly. “The other day…I saw you jerking off with my panties, you know.”
A look of sheer horror flashes across his eyes before his face turns red. Like he’s been zapped with electricity, he flies away from you and to the other end of his bed, hiding his face in his hands. “Oh my fucking God! I swear I can explain!”
Clutching your belly, you only laugh at his reaction.
