Asmo: You’re so cheap Mammon

Mammon: I am not! I’ll have you know I gave Mc a pearl necklace yesterday

Asmo: the ones that wash off don’t count

Mc: you can pack your things and leave. There’s the door

Mammon: there’s the door bitch!

mammon:shaddup!

mc: or wut

mammon: or am’ gonna marry ya-!

mc:

mc:*starts yodelling*

Boya boy in his cut butler outfit

Happy birthday dear Mammon!!!

-Hook, Line and-

Same Energy✨

Okay but,

Mammon & MC being partners - the implication that they’ve been together longer than they’ve been with the crew and then the rest of the event actually showing that they arepartners;

Mammon finds a second map and shares it only with MC/is willing to share the second treasure only with MC

They’re both willing to go behind the others’ backs and work together

How easily MC tosses him a sword and moves to protect him. How easily he accepts it and cheers them on but also says that being protected would cramp his style and that they need to let him get the next one. Do they have a count? Do they keep track of who protects who or how many enemies they take down? That last line strongly implies they have a tally

How he questions Solomon’s orders but instantly follows MC’s orders despite not knowing what’s wrong

They washed up together so they probably tried to stay together when the ship went down

Him being absolutely worried about MC and MC pretending to be injured just to worry him. The way he falls for it but almost instantly realises they’re just being a dick

The way he phrases it, it’s implied that MC frequently gets in trouble and makes him worry

Were they there when he lost his eye? Does tossing a sword to him and moving to cover for him come so easily to them because they’ve learnt to help cover his blind side?

I’m frothing at the mouth. I need to know more about them

Why is MC so fucking funny-

Okay okay so fantasy pirates right?

Hybrids and magic orbs and all that. But the brothers + MC all seem to be human.

They’re also not related like usual and are just a crew that Lucifer picked up.

So being human and not related chances are they’re over a wide range of ages closer to what their personalities are like.

Since they’re human, their ages would be counted like normal people so Satan would be the youngest,

Aka Lucifer being closer to his 40s & Satan being closer to 18 (or something to that effect)

So imagine when Satan says this:

Lucifer is still his father. But he doesn’t know and Lucifer probably knows but he’s too emotionally constipated to say it but it’s partially why he got Satan on to his crew

The Drama✨

No but seriously. Imagine how pissed he’d be! There’s so much potential here.

Why’d Lucifer leave? What’s the treasure? How pissed Satan would be to find out the father he seems to respect so much is Lucifer? Imposter Syndrome as he questions the reasons behind Lucifer letting him join the crew? Bitterness when he realises Lucifer had known all along?

Add to that the magic & fantasy elements and the implication that MC & Mammon were together prior to joining the crew and are willing to go behind the backs of the others to find their own treasure

That’s a show I’d watch in a heartbeat

Mammon & MC being partners (in crime) is my absolute favourite thing ever

’s one of those buy-one-get-one-free offers except one of them plots to rob you blind and the other’s a shameless enabler

@lesson-anon hey I hope you’re doing okay! You didn’t ask for the last two lessons but since this was more or less started for you…

That stupid show still has me in a chokehold and then om! has to roll out the fucking pirate event in the same fucking week what the actual fuck  im trying so hard to be normal about this (again sorry @ anyone following my main blog) I also spent a fuck load of dv to get mammon’s new UR and still nothing im this closeto losing my shit

I’m gonna start answering asks after this & open my ask box again

As Usual;

• Links (to screenshots and theories) are in bold!

• Dialogue is HEAVILY paraphrased & the events are HEAVILY summarised/edited so this is in no way a substitute to playing the actual lesson

• Each paragraph represents one chapter of the lesson, I write each paragraph immediately after playing the chapter and so in one paragraph I might theorise what’s gonna happen in the next chapter/paragraph

• Solely gonna focus on “Mammon’s Route”

• language and (somewhat vague) situations

LESSON 72

MC goes to ask Mephisto to help get the opinions of the RAD students about the exchange program but he’s being a racist little bitch about it (Mammon calls him out   ,   Mammon vs Mephisto 1   ,   Mammon vs Mephisto 2) & MC pulls out the “oh man that’s too bad that you can’t help me, Diavolo was really counting on it. He really sang your praises. That’s too bad. Maybe I can ask Lucifer, I’m sure Diavolo won’t mind. He might even like it bett-” Mephisto agrees to help. In the council room everyone is working. Lucifer who is working on their ledgers with Barbatos leaves to go fix their copier after Beel broke it and Barbatos asks MC if they want to help him with the accounting. MC, who is canonically bad at maths, agrees. Barbatos is impressed by their positive attitude but Mammon ends up correcting their mistakes. When Mammon complains about not being allowed to work in the math side of the council work Lucifer says it has nothing to do with his ability and everything to do with his trustworthiness around money. Belphie tells MC that their 2nd trial feels a little too easy

MC meets with Simeon at a restaurant and the two of them see Luke talking to a demon outside. They share classes together and both like sweets, they had stopped Luke to tell him about a new menu at another restaurant. Simeon says people seem to really love Luke which makes him blush. MC tells him about their report and asks for his opinion on everything and Luke has just grown up so much and I’m so proud of him! Simeon suggests that MC interviews Thirteen as well and Luke gives them some of his home made sweets. At RAD they come across Solomon and ask if he could get in touch with Thirteen for them.

MC & Solomon meet Thirteen and get instantly attacked by her, only for them to leap out of the way. Solomon, bless his heart, defends MC against something Thirteen said except unmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. MC bribes Thirteen with Luke’s sweets to get her to help them. Solomon, just now realising that Thirteen has a sweet tooth, offers to make some sweets for Thirteen which leads to them talking about the first time Solomon brought Thirteen food. Thirteen says she has no opinion either way about peace or the exchange program but for now as long as she’s not bored she won’t cause any trouble.

Thirteen asks Solomon what his thoughts are but they’re cut off by the bell, Solomon asks to take MC on a little date after school and they go to buy potion ingredients with him. He later takes them to The Phantom Spring, a place he’s wanted to take them to for a while but they haven’t gotten to spend time alone since the human world and he says they should use this as a breather from the trials. They thank him for caring. They ask what else they’d get for being his student and he offers to massage the tension from their shoulders.

Solomon says as long as the human world isn’t put in danger he doesn’t mind Diavolo’s plans/exchange program and that he’s actually enjoying being a student at RAD. He then gets serious and asks MC how much they know about what’s going on with Simeon and they say Simeon hadn’t been ready to talk about it with them. Solomon however says that the more people Simeon feels comfortable talking with as things get bad the better it’d be. Back at the HoL Lucifer asks how the report is going and tells them Mephisto was looking for them     , (Mephisto vs the brothers?).

Mephisto is upset that MC didn’t go find him immediately after they found out he was searching for them and instead came the next day. He’d finished collecting all the data from the RAD students but all the pages + the final draft of the newspaper had turned blank. Later in class when they tell this to Luke he says that it’s one of the 666 mysteries of RAD. Mammon says that happened to him once but no one believed him & Belphie suggests MC take the half finished report to Diavolo for now. MC goes to see Diavolo, who is happy for the distraction from paper work, he notices the report in their hand and asks to see it only to find out all the pages had turned blank. It’s at this point that I’d have gone on a homicidal rampage

Mephisto catches MC before they break their neck after crashing into him on the stairs. The documents that vanish are only ones that can be deemed important and the two of them decide to team up to solve the mystery. Diavolo overhears and offers to help but is dragged back to his office by Barbatos (rip). The two go to the library where they find Satan and fill him in on what’s happened. Mephisto asks Satan where the especially rare books are and Satan says they’re kept in the restricted section

Anyone other than student council members who need access to the restricted section need permission from Diavolo. But Satan says fuck the rules and breaks them in, MC follows their tingly magic senses towards the section on cats and you know what…why are the books on cats in the restricted section?????????????? The pages in some of the cat books are blank and Satan obviously freaks out and changes into his demon form. Mephisto spots a lesser demon and stops Satan from trying to kill it. MC uses their magic to trap it. Satan & MC take them back to the council and according to the Reference Guide on Lesser Demons this particular type likes playing pranks on others, specifically hiding peoples’ important information (*someone sent an ask about lesser demons some time back, I’ll answer it as soon as possible). Diavolo reveals that MC’s real second trial was to solve this particular mystery as it was bothering all of them (and MC really is unpaid labour at this point right?) And doesn’t this mean MC’s officially part of the council now? Since there were only 2 challenges and 1 preliminary challenge? All of which they completed?

In the locked lesson, in the council room, Diavolo has read MC’s 2nd ed. report that Mephisto had calculated the stats of the results (because once again MC is canonically bad as maths). Diavolo is being an optimist about the results while Lucifer’s being a pessimist.

The hard lesson shows the time Solomon first brought food to Thirteen. She still had it out for him to an extent and he had to face a trap that took the form of angel Lucifer which Solomon saw through as Lucifer had just (somewhat recently?) fallen. The two argue for a bit (well Thirteen argues) and Solomon hands over a home cooked meal to her :)

In the chats:

Thirteen messages MC for the first time because she sees them as being not as bad as they could be and MC asks to meet with them for the interview

Barbatos was to punish Satan, Mephisto & MC for breaking in to the restricted section but Diavolo & Lucifer brush him off

Mammon being scared of horror movies despite being a demon is absolutely hilarious until you stop to think about it and then it’s like “there’s actually a startling amount of logic behind this” ??

No listen okay

It’s obviously not the gore or violence or death that freaks him out because in S3 he watches some killer shark movie as a comfort and we all know how bloody even the worst of those can be

The beings from supernatural horror movies are all real in OM!

To a demon a horror movie would be like a slasher/serial killer movie to a human.

As a human you’re not scared of humans in general but wouldn’t you be freaked out by a gruesome serial killer?

This is less “demon being scared of ghost stories” and more:

Guy who has definitely killed before but who is pretty indifferent about it and is really just some Guy™, watching a fictional guy on tv repeatedly kill just some Guys™ for fun in increasingly disturbing ways while the show/movie insistently hammers in that everything was normal and perfect till some random list of coincidences lead to this situation and now no matter what you do you’re stuck in it till you and all your loved ones die

Mephisto:*enters the room*

Mammon:

Mammon being just constantly done with Mephisto is my favourite thing ever

The way it’s almost always Mammon who comes along as moral support

Asmo, walking into a room: Hi Mc!

Belphie: Do you just not see the other ten people in the room or-

Preview for Undateables from Obey Me and Gender Bender sketch preview, should I create a Patreon? You guys can see full version with earlier access on my Patreon before I upload here on my Tumblr? :3

I will create maybe Gender Bender for all Obey Me, Sketch, Dakimakura (Maybe), Girls Love, Slight NSFW, Any Fanart, anything ??

Hài

I’ve got heaps of angst in my drafts BUT….heaps of crack as well.

Today’s crack day.

Today’s story is Mammon being dumb♥

(warning: swears)

—————————————————

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ATE 200 GRAMS OF CHEESE?!”

“I DON’T KNOW IT LOOKED LIKE CAKE”

“HOW IN THE ASS CRACKING PENIS WHACKING DID YOU MISTAKE CAKE FOR CHEESE?! ”

“IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL”

“YOUR LACTOSE INTOLERANT”

today’s the day Mammon decided he was hungry for cake.

Turns out, there was no cake, there was only 200g of expired cheese sitting in the back of the fridge Mammon knew it was expired cheese, yet Mammon decided to eat the entire 200 grams of expired cheese.

Did I also mention he’s incredibly lactose intolerant?, yeah can’t relate. I can eat ice cream and NOT want to shit my pants HAHAHAAHA anyways.

Mammon was rushed to the hospital cause he started pissing blood, DING DONG DOCTOR JACKSON WANG ROLLS IN.

“Mr.dipshit, you have kidney stones in your kidney”

“What does that have to do with the fact I ate expired cheese”

The doctor Jackson wang laughs.

“Everything-Anyways, you also have liver failure”

.

.

.

.

“HA SIKE, YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE DYING LOL. no but seriously stop eating expired food and start taking these pills. ” with that the doctor jackson wang rolled away

And so mammon shat out kidney stones for the next 6 weeks. Crying like a baby as he did so.

THE END.

—————————————————

I know it’s not a lot but hey, I thought it was funny, I was deranged from not sleeping for a day but hey. Beggars can’t be choosers.

K that’s it bye.

So this kind person wanted a story about Mr money grabber no’ loiking da MC which I lauv becose angst is always welcome ‘ere (especially if it’s Mammón)

Then I thought 'bout it yeah?, cause loik it has to actually be good cause oim a people pleaser…. But it still isn’t…. AHAHA lol anyway. Enjoy. (P, s it’s in Mammons pov)

————————————————–

“Who CARES?! ”

Silence fills the room.

“Who cares if they’re dead, who cares if they’re alive, WHO THE FUCK CARES?! ”

now they’re really quite.

“I did all the work, ME, I DID EVERYTHING FOR THEM!, I made sure they didn’t die by the hands of another, because that was my job, I COULD CARE LESS IF THEY KILLED THEMSELF”

Levi stands up, staring at me in disbelief “you said you loved them, YOU SAID YOU CARED-”

“I ONLY SAID THAT SO THEY COULD TRUST ME”

Silence again.

“What?, ya actually thought I liked them?, that I wouldn’t use them to get my way?, and you say I’m the idiot”

I point at Levi “the only reason I didn’t kill 'em myself was because lucifer would have my head” scoffing I continue “if I had MY way, I would’ve killed MC the moment I saw them”

I shove him down to the floor “ya damn hypocrites, only difference between us is you started to care, I never did” pointing to myself I smiled while my laughter rings around the room “if anything they’ll be back soon… ” I stare at their dead corpse “and even then, they’ll still be a pain in my ass”

“Mammon… ”

“Do what ya want with them, burn them, burry them as long as I’m not involved, I don’t care”

“I’ve finished my job”

Saying that I closed the door walking out of the house.

————————————————–

friend I don’t know bout dis one, I actually had to think which is surprising

Ok thas it Bye Bye .

Mammon: yo-yo Lord Diavolo

Diavolo: Yes, Mammon?

Mammon: Ya lookn’ extra submissive and breedable today

Diavolo: what-

Lucifer: *kicks Mammon In the balls* YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT-

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Mammon actually died? Like, what would happen if he just unalived himself cause of the brothers?

(Note: some might be a bit ooc.)

LUCIFER: would probably isolate himself in his office, only coming out if he absolutely had to (ex, make sure that none of his other brothers don’t off themselves), drowning his sorrows in demonus, talking to thin air,if you listen closely, you can hear him wailing and sobbing for Mammon to come back.

“Please Mammon… I swear I’ll do better, just.. Please come back”

LEVIATHAN: would isolate himself as well, seeing as how he insults Mammon the most, he’d probably feels responsible for Mammon’s death and blames himself everytime he thinks of Mammon, (Lucifer and Beel check on him the most since he has the probability of offing himself to).

“It’s all my fault, if I hadn’t called him scumbag all the time all the time…if I had been nicer, he’d be here”

SATAN: I don’t really know what he would do but he’d be most likely to be angry. When he’s alone, he’d start thinking about Mammon and start smashing everything in his room while crying his eyes out, collapsing on the floor and just sit there, regretting everything he’s ever done to Mammon, silently crying into his hands.

“ I was only joking…I didn’t mean any of it…I didn’t mean it, it wasn’t meant to end like this.. ”

ASMODEUS: from what I remember, he actually told Mammon to die (I think it was in one of the lessons), so going off on that, he’d feel the most guilt for his suicide, he’d probably turn to his sin and go around sleeping with countless demons to take his mind off his brothers death. But once he’s sobered up just laying in his bed, he’d hug his pillow tight, asking Mammon for forgiveness saying how he didn’t mean it while crying his eyes out.

“Mammon… I’m sorry okay?, I didn’t mean anything I said… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…please forgive me”

BEELZEBUB: would feel the most responsible for his brother’s death, he never really iniciated any of the bullying, but he didn’t stop it either, guilt and remorse would eat him alive, he’d probably stop eating for weeks but then would binge eat for days on end, Beel would check on his brothers constantly as to make sure no one else dies, he already lost two, he can’t lose another.

“I should’ve done something…I didn’t even try to stop them.. I’m sorry Mammon.. I’m so sorry”

BELPHEGOR: Another brother I have know idea, he’d know that dreaming of his dead brother would do more harm than good but I think he wouldn’t want to wake up, he didn’t want to face the reality that his big brother wasn’t there, he’d much rather dream of his big brother being there.

“I don’t want to wake up… You can’t make me…he’s not here… I can’t deal with it… Not yet”

————————————-

Hiya

This was in my drafts for awhile, I made this at like 1 am, I was half asleep so it’s not the best, its not proofread either so it might be bad idk ( ͡≖ ل͜ ͡≖)

Anyways I’m hungry so I’m gonna eat a sandwich.