Diavolo when he was a child: ohh! so you’re the thing that grows on trees?

Demon king:yes.

Demon king:*leaves*

Diavolo:

Mc:Your eyes are gorgeous.

Lucifer:Was it really necessary to wake me up at 4 am just to tell me that?

Mc:Yes.

Diavolo: What scares you the most?

Mc:

Mc: Lucifer without caffeine.

Diavolo:Lucifer..?

Lucifer: … Me without caffeine?

Mc, throwing their head into Lucifer’s lap: Tell me I’m pretty!

Lucifer, lovingly stroking their hair: You’re pretty fucking annoying, that’s what you are.

Mc:Belphie hasn’t stopped staring through the window since the storm started

Mc: I suppose i should let him in

Satan: I’m embarrassed, ashamed, disgraced, mortified, humiliated-

Mc: What are you, a dictionary?

Lucifer: Are you nervous?

Mc:Yes.

Lucifer: Is this your first time?

Mc: No, I have been nervous before.

Mc: *unlocks Luke’ phone*

Diavolo: How’d you know his password?

Mc: I know my own son’s birthday, Diavolo.

Asmo: You look good in that hoodie.

Y/n: You know where else I’d look good?

Asmo, zero hesitation: My bed.

Y/n, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Mc: For this mission, I wore the perfect disguise to make sure I was never noticed by anyone. Something so drab and uninspiring-

Satan: I feel this is going to be a dig at me

Mc: I wore Satan’s clothes

Satan: There it is

Lucifer: I love you, okay?!?

Mc: The words are nice, but the tone is scary

Barbatos: You kissed me.

Y/n: Yes, I did.

Barbatos: Should we? … I mean, there’s a discussion that we could have… if you wanted to have one?

Y/n: Barbatos, I kissed you, with tongue, and I plan to do it again and again if it’s okay with you - so get used to it. End of discussion.

Barbatos, smiling:Okay

Mc: Damn, the power went out.

Beel:I got this.

Beel: *Rapidly shakes and starts to illuminate*

Mc:What-

Beel: I swallowed a flashlight.

Mc, on the verge of a heart attack: WHY WOULD YOU SWALLOW A FLASHLIGHT!

Asmo, walking into a room: Hi Mc!

Belphie: Do you just not see the other ten people in the room or-

Lucifer: Where’s Mammon ?

Mc: Doing stuff.

Lucifer: Don’t like the sound of that, where’s Satan?

Mc: Stopping Mammon from doing stuff.

Lucifer: Belphie?

Mc: Stopping Satan, so Mammon can do the stuff.

Lucifer: And you?

Mc: Distracting you, so Mammon can do the stuff.

Mc:I love you.

Lucifer: How many people have you said that too?

Mc:Everyone.

Lucifer:Everyone?

Mc:Yes, I tell everyone that I love you.

Mc: “I don’t know how you do that.”

Lucifer: “Do what?”

Mc: “Make everything sound like a threat. That man looked like he was about to piss himself, and all you did was ask him to step aside so that we could get past. Even when I actively tryto sound threatening, no one takes me seriously.”

Lucifer: “That’s because you look and sound, like the human personification of a warm hug.”

Mc: I have good news and bad news.

Lucifer: What’s the good news?

Mc: I won’t do it again.

Satan: how are you?

Mc: actually, I’m in a very bad place

Satan:

Satan: what happened?

Mc: oh, nothing

Mc: I’m just standing next to Solomon right now

Lucifer: Are you mad?

Mc:No.

Lucifer:….

Lucifer: So is sharpening knives at 3 am is just a hobby?

Mammon: We have a problem.

Mc: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Mc:[pointing at a bruise]Who did this to you?

Belphie: Aw you care about me?

Mc: No, I wanna thank them

Belphie: I’m gonna be honest, I feel like you don’t like me.

Mc:I’ve told you multiple times that I don’t.

Solomon: So, who’s in charge here?

Asmo: Either Mc or Lucifer, whichever shouts the loudest.

Beel, grumbling: They shouldn’t call it an “All you can eat buffet” if they don’t mean it.

Mc: You tried to eat a chair.

Belphie:I made a mistake. Are you going to help me fix it or are you going to continue to berate me?

Mc:I am perfectly capable of doing both at the same time.

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