#slytherclaw inc
Ravenclaw: This food is too hot. I can’t eat it.
Slytherin: You’re too hot and I still eat you.
Gryffindor:…
Hufflepuff: ONE DINNER! THAT’S ALL I WANTED! ONE DINNER!
Gryffindor and Slytherin: *are fighting*
Ravenclaw, to Slytherin: GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!!!
Hufflepuff: Oh my god dude.
Ravenclaw: YOU TWIST THAT DICK!!!
Hufflepuff, getting into it: TWIST HIS DICK!
Ravenclaw: GOOD OL’ DICK TWIST!!!
sebbbystaaan-deactivated2020072:
Ravenclaw: So in conclusion, you all now have a curfew, which is 10pm. I know a couple of you love that party night life, but i’m putting my foot down.. Any questions?
Gryffindor:*pouting*
Slytherin: Yes, I have a question.
Ravenclaw: Go ahead.
Slytherin: Who the FUCK do you think you are?
Gryffindor: Yeah! What they said!
Where is hufflepuff HUH
Probably not being problematic and thus not having curfews inflicted upon them.
I would just like to confirm that is exactly what happened.
~ slytherin
Slytherin: I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve called you here.
Everyone else:…
Slytherin: I’ve decided to live alone.
Everyone:*cheering*
Slytherin: *smiles* Your bags are in the driveway.
Ravenclaw: So in conclusion, you all now have a curfew, which is 10pm. I know a couple of you love that party night life, but i’m putting my foot down.. Any questions?
Gryffindor:*pouting*
Slytherin: Yes, I have a question.
Ravenclaw: Go ahead.
Slytherin: Who the FUCK do you think you are?
Gryffindor: Yeah! What they said!
Slytherin: Let me tuck you in, Gryff.
Gryffindor:
Gryffindor: You are holding a shovel.
Slytherin: Yes, I’ll make sure to spread the dirt as evenly as possible.
gryffindor: so are you straight?
ravenclaw: straight up dead inside.
gryffindor: do children actually like you?
ravenclaw: i’m actually really good with kids!
slytherin: he just despises being around them.
hufflepuff: slytherin isn’t all that bad!
ravenclaw: yeah, she’s a pretty good kisser.
hufflepuff and gryffindor:WHAT
ravenclaw:what
gryffindor: no- she wouldn’t- with you? wait-
hufflepuff: but if you- and then we-
slytherin, from the other room: wow babe, broke them in record time.
slytherin: ravenclaw loves me! he said he’d throw himself in front of a car for me!
gryffindor: ravenclaw would throw himself in front of a car for a pigeon.
ravenclaw: *is hot, angsty, artistic, can bake and can cook*
slytherin: i mean, i hate men, but who knows?
slytherin: i got kicked out of the family because i’m “a liability” and “weak” and “slytherin.” the last one is just my name but you should hear my dad say it.
*Discussing how to deal with the Death Eaters*
Gryffindor: Who do we know that would have handcuffs?
Slytherin: Well, Ravenclaw and I-
Ravenclaw: *elbows Slytherin*
Slytherin: … wouldn’t know.
slytherin: darling, fire whiskey please.
ravenclaw: sly, it’s breakfast.
slytherin: and a piece of toast.
ravenclaw: wait are you flirting with me?
gryffindor: have been for the past couple of weeks but thank you for noticing.
ravenclaw: *talking about his ex boyfriends*
slytherin: does that mean you um, you just swing that way?
ravenclaw: of course not. i swing all ways. i wield a sword.
slytherin: that’s not what i meant-
slytherin: have you ever seen something that changes your life and you’re just like ‘huh’.
ravenclaw: i saw you.
slytherin: honestly that’s very sweet but it really makes this awkward because i was going to show you a photo of a five scoop ice-cream.
hufflepuff: dude are you even human?
ravenclaw: i’m human shaped.
hufflepuff:
hufflepuff: that was not the answer i expected nor wanted.
Gryffindor: What are your three best qualities?
Hufflepuff: I’m gay. I have soft hair. And sometimes I cry because I love my friends.
Slytherin: I’m also gay. I’m full of rage, and nothing can stop me once I’m in motion.
ravenclaw: i’m asexual. i look like a tiktok eboy, but i’ll actually care about your problems.
ravenclaw: are you vegetarian?
slytherin: no, i’m an aquarius
hufflepuff: sly you’re a taurus
gryffindor: i thought she was american