#inncorrect quotes
Peridot: How are you doing Lazuli?
Lapis Lazuli(internally): Just say “I’m doing good.”
Lapis Lazuli: I-I’m do-doing yo-GOOD IM DOING GOOD!
Peridot: Okay? (Walks away)
Lapis Lazuli (internally): (facepalms) Fucking idiot.
Peridot: hey Lapis we should say something nice about each other
Lapis Lazuli:ok
Peridot:I’ll go first, you’re sexy when you snort
Lapis Lazuli: (blushes) okay ummm… boobies
Amethyst: I fucked your bitch
Lapis: Bitch me too
For some reason I can imagine this cause I’m crazy
Peridot: Hey Lapis will you be…my girlfriend?
Lapis: Okay I’d love to but, look I don’t mean to frustrate, but I always make the same mistakes cause…
Peridot: Cause…?
Lapis (Sings): IM BAD AT LOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE!
Peridot: No not again!
Steven:So you were spying on us this whole time!?
Lapis: What!? No I was just looking intently over long periods of time…at Peridot.
Jake: Uh, Stevie?¿Qué estás haciendo?
Steven: Hugging you. You are due for love and affection.
Jake: Can you let go of me, ¿Por favor?
Steven: Afraid not.
Jake:*Sighs*
(Kitty looking through a photo album as Red sits beside her watching TV)
Kitty: Oh, look, Red, my cousin Becky.
Red: OK, here’s a general rule for looking at photos: If I’m not in it, don’t need to see it.
slytherin: ravenclaw loves me! he said he’d throw himself in front of a car for me!
gryffindor: ravenclaw would throw himself in front of a car for a pigeon.
Sirius telling stories about his time at hogwarts to Fred and George during the summer spent in grimauld place in book five
Fred: do you have any stories about good parties?
Sirius: oh yeah loads. My favourite one is about James’s 16th birthday. So the party was going great. I’m standing in the common room and I’m holding a fire whisky bottle, you’ve been to the hogs head. And I’m standing there, and I’m holding a firewhiskey and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like: “something, something McGonagall!” And in a brilliant moment of word association I yelled “fuck McGonagall!” “Fuck Mcgonagall!"And everyone else joined in.
A hundred drunk white children yelling: "fuck Mcgonagall” with the confidence of guys who have like already been to azkaban And aren’t afraid of it anymore. You know that like “I served my time, you come and take me” confidence.
But white children the reason someone had said: “Something, something Mcgonagall” was because Mcgonagall were there. So she walked through the portrait hole and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling “Fuck Mcgonagall” in her face
And she was almost impressed. She was like: “wow”
And then she cast a patronus and told it: “get the the other teachers”. And James, who was a father, this man had a baby, he grabbed a butterbeer, smashed it on the ground, and yelled “scatter!”
But everyone ran in a different direction. We all ran in different directions. It was like in the great hall when the slytherins come in the room and all the other students go in different ways.
We all ran in different directions. I ran out of the common room and I jumped into a secret passage that led me to the second floor and I crawled through a window and jumped down onto the grass and now I’m running through the greenhouses and there’s this big devil’s snare.
And I thought “I’ve never dealt with a devil’s snare that big before.” And then I woke up in my dorm.
Lily:omg James is so annoying. I can’t believe im gonna sleep with him
Remus: well you don’t have to sleep with him.
Lily:nah I know but I’m still going to
Anthony: Do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?
Simon: No. Why?
Anthony: I want to annoy Daphne’s suitors away
Simon: Technically you don’t actually need to know how to play it for that
Anthony: You have opened my eyes Simon Basset, Duke of Hastings
Incorrect quotes.
Oboro: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Nemuri: Not if they consent to it!
Aizawa: Depends on who you’re stabbing.
Hizashi:Yes?!?!
Nightcrawler: I made a marshmallow Wolverine! His arms are crossed because he’s mad at marshmallow kurt for dying. You like it?
Wolverine, holding back tears: It’s alright
Tokoyami: you read my journal!?
Aoyama: to be fair, I did not know it was your journal
Aoyama: I thought it was a very sad handwritten book
Kirishima: they’re called leggings because you put your leg
Kirishima: you put you leg
Kirishima: they’re called leggings because
Bakugou: take your time
Connie, are you okay? Are you okay, Connie?
DBH Character Names on Starbucks Cups:
Conner
Marcus
Cara
Hanq
Gaven
Lio
Karl
Danelle
Ralf
Symom
Gosh
South
Tag yourself.
Connor: Detective, there is literally no reason for you to do that.
Gavin: Oh, I know.
Connor: That’s worse.
Everyone knows birds make wind
Short people are closer to Hell, that’s why they’re so angry. It’s just science.
Do you want Terminators? Because that’s how you get Terminators.
More expresso, less depresso.
Pets/Children = Potato/Pahtahtoe
Please don’t tag ships.
There’s one on his forehead that just says “Me-ow.”
Connor: Chances are I’ll outlive Detective Reed.
HappyValentine’sDay!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
You might say, he was a little crabby.
Eight-drink Hank: An equestrian, and he’s real bad at it.
Well, I GUESS.
I like dogs.
Apply cold water to the burn.
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Please don’t tag ships
Literally me. TT_TT
