#incorrect draco malfoy quotes
Lucius:DO NOT TOUCH ME!
Snape: It’s just me calm down.
Lucius:Oh, I’m sorry Severus, you know what I’m like when I comes to clothes.
Lucius:Remember that time I pushed a toddler infront of a hippogriff because he was standing on my Topshop voucher?
Snape:Yes, I believe that poor Draco still has the scar.
Scorpius: Can you check for monsters under the bed?
Draco: The monsters don’t live under our beds, they live inside of us.
Scorpius:
Scorpius:Goodnight.
*at st mungos*
healer: any allergies?
draco: cold bathrooms, muggle clothing, unambitious men…
healer:
draco: oh and shellfish
“If you’re secretly in love with me, you should tell me. Not because those feelings might be reciprocated but because it’s really good for my ego.”
- Draco Malfoy probably
draco, after the battle of hogwarts: my therapist will hear about this
Draco Malfoy as random things I’ve overheard at school
- I just don’t give enough fucks to bother
- Don’t die.. that’s too much paperwork
- As long as we have ice cream and tequila, we’ll be good for the night
- Oh look, the peasants are coming
- My daddy will destroy you
- Ha remember when I thought I was straight?
- I understand your point of view, but it’s wrong
The golden and silver trio’s reactions to Draco dancing to that one caramell song (you know the one):
Ron: *slowly backs away and closes door*
Blaise: what. the. bloody. fuck.
Hermione: … I’m not even going to ask
Harry: *muffled laughter*
Pansy: you started without me bitch??
Bonus:
Lucius: Draco, what are you doing?!
Draco: Father, I can explain!
Lucius: There’s no need. *hugs Draco* I’m very proud of you, son. I’ve raised you well *wipes tear*
Draco, internally: what the fuck
Harry: hey, what’s up babe?
Draco, crying: my socks don’t match and my sheets are untucked and my life is falling apart
Draco when Harry says “I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself”:
Draco when Harry rejects his friendship in year 1:
In the slytherin dorm
Draco :*wakes up* Good morning sluts!
Crabe, Goyle, Pansy : Good morning chanel
Draco: What happens if I hit the gas and the brake at the same time?
Theo: The car takes a screenshot.
Blaise: That’s it. Get the fuck out of the car. Both of you.
