Dumbledore was old and weary, and he rubbed his eyes with only one hand. The other hand might have fallen off if he dared apply such pressure to it.
“You fool,” he muttered to himself: if he had not been tempted, he might have lived to see the end of the war. He allowed the stoic facade to crack when he was alone. To see the end of the war after all these years and all this work… he deserved that much, didn’t he? He’d had nothing else to gain from making it his personal business to destroy Lord Voldemort. Then again, one way or the other, to see the end of the war would be to see Severus die. It was so unfair for the old to bury the young, and how much more of this could he take?
For the old to bury the young. Heh. Gellert would have found it deliciously funny. It wasn’t fair at all, and yet in a sense, Albus had done just that: Severus was marked for death as sure as he was, and the odds were still in Riddle’s favour. It would take another miracle, Albus realized, and his only consolation was that miracles were rarely obvious. Of course they were not obvious in the sense that one anticipated them – everybody knew that. But so often, they weren’t obvious even as they were happening, even when they already happened.
He had thought, once, that Gellert’s arrival at the house next door was a miracle. Another wizard, his equal (and really, what were the odds), and a handsome one to boot. He had seized this miracle with both hands. If you hadn’t, you might have still had them. Gellert would have found that funny too. Everyone but Albus thought Harry Potter’s survival a miracle, but Albus knew it was an experiment, and it hardly counted as a miracle when a hypothesis, based on a well-founded theory, turned out to be correct. Dumbledore had always theorized on the power of love and on the power of choice, and Harry’s survival meant evidence. That was all.
The miracle had happened much before, and it looked like nothing much at the time. That a Death Eater could be brave enough to ask his master to spare a mother, the master being the type to murder an infant? That Riddle actually tried to deliver on his promise? For all your disgust, Albus, that ended up saving the world for at least ten years.
The miracle was Severus, not Harry, and again, Albus seized that miracle and never let it go. He wanted to care but he couldn’t afford to, because before long, they would all be dead.
A miracle, that a man so corrupted could love a childhood friend more than his own life. A miracle that a man so broken could face more danger and more death and yet complain only about the dunderheads that grew dumber every year.
Albus had told Harry that the prophecy being overheard had been a tragedy, but he knew the prophecy had waited for Severus just as much as it had waited for Albus himself. Only Severus could make it come true, and only Dumbledore could divine an interpretation that would give Harry and the Wizarding World a fighting chance when all was lost. Though it had not felt like a miracle when it had happened - not at all. It felt like a nuisance. Without his Pensieve, Albus might not even have remembered what the Prophecy had said at all.
The one with the power to vanquish the Dart Lord approaches… said while Severus Snape was approaching. Even Gellert might have found thatjoke to be in poor taste. In the end, Albus, you would have lost your right hand or your right-hand man. Now your right-hand man will lose you. That is all. A minor difference in the grand scheme of things. He closed his eyes.
It would have been easier for Severus to die for not killing me. His allegiance would have been known, at least, and he would have understood why, and I would have been able to help Harry, might have lived to see the end.If I hadn’t met Gellert a century ago, we might not have needed this many miracles.
Dumbledore downed a goblet of the golden potion that kept the curse contained. It went down smooth as fine scotch and warm as hot chocolate. Were it not for all these miracles, Severus might have been a world-famous healer.
Albus sighed, cleared his mind, and prepared himself for another private lesson with Harry.
My third contribution to the Snolidays 2021 winter festival, depicting four moments in Severus’s life.
Fourteen
“A minority in my own house!” Tobias roared, looking like he could turn a table over. “How do you think it feels to come home and listen to all this magic rubbish, day in, day out? Do you know how it feels looking at Carl, knowing his lad will one day take over his shop? A man wants to see a bit o’ himself in his child, dammit!”
Severus might have felt rejected when he was a boy, but he was a teen now, and the fraction of a second when he caught a glimpse of resentful defeat in his father’s eyes disgusted him. If, for reasons that remained opaque to Severus, Tobias wanted to see himself, he needed to look no further than the pub, the line for the dole, at any of the dozens of sweaty, grunting brutes.
In the real world, Severus was a minority, and his mam too, but he, for one, was glad of it: quality over quantity, as far as he was concerned. If he worked hard enough, he knew no one else would see Tobias Snape in him either.
Sixteen
He cast them as fast as he could think them: the toenail hex on Peter, who lagged behind his friends. Impedimenta on James, who was ahead. Sirius tripped over James, and Severus waited for the fourth one to show up from behind him, but he must have been sick again.
Three Langlock spells, Petrificus next, and he got them, he got them, he finally got them.
“Tell me,” he gloated. “Aren’t you … embarrassed, losing even three on one? Aren’t you embarrassed to go after me at all, alone and outnumbered? Do you think it makes you brave? Proper Gryffindors? Do you think your glory will come from defeating one half-blood?”
It felt good – so, so good - watching them trying and failing to get up, trying and failing even to speak.
Finally. Things would be different from now on, he just knew it. One chance to show them whom they were messing with was all he needed, and now he’d got it.
“When someone finds you,” he said, grinning ear to ear, “by all means tell them it was I who defeated you. I wouldn’t mind serving detention with Filch for this.”
Turning a corner and leaving them behind, he saw Lily and her friend, and nodded at them. “Your weird friend looks good today,” he heard the other girl’s voice echoing from the stone walls. He hoped the three-fourths of Potter’s gang heard it too.
Soon enough, he heard a predictable shout - the girls had found them. “What the hell happened to your toes, Peter?!”
Severus quickened his step, his smile not leaving him.
Soon he would be free, and if Lily was the one to find Potter in a state so helpless… that was just icing on the cake.
Twenty
For once in your life, you joined the winning side, Severus told himself. Glorious tales of the righteous few defeating the many were for children, tales usually spun by liars who wanted to use them.
When writing the history books, Death Eaters would make sure to paint themselves as the heroes who defied the odds. Severus just wanted to win, whatever the cost.
He had brewed, he had crafted spells, he had studied his magic; he waited for a chance to prove himself, make a name for himself, to be somebody. He would not disappoint his master, he would not make Lucius look the fool.
“Now, Death Eaters” the Dark Lord cleared his throat and scanned the room. “We have people everywhere, eyes and ears, and dozens of people under the Imperius curse, ready to be our arms and legs. Only one exception remains, and whoever successfully infiltrates it will be honored above all others when the time comes.”
The followers’ collective mouth watered. “Not anyone could help me there - it is a task requiring… subtlety. Patience.”
They were at the edge of their seat …
“The risks are great, but the rewards greater still, I daresay. Who among you would be my spy at Hogwarts, be my eyes and ears, carry word on the great Albus Dumbledore himself?”
“My Lord,” Karkaroff started, “I have some background in teaching, and I believe myself to be the most suitable.”
“Like my noble ancestor, I prize ambition, Igor, but Dumbledore is not foolish enough to hire you. No.”
The Dark Lord’s eyes rested on Severus, father-like and proud.
“I see myself in you, Severus. I believe you can succeed where even I was denied. If you think this is too soon, if you are too scared, tell me now. But if you are ready, if you are prepared, I will look no further.”
Severus’s throat was dry and his head swam.
“I am.”
He was.
The others’ protests rang over one another: he is too young, he is barely an adult, he is a half-blood, he never fought with us-
“Silence!” The Dark Lord commanded. “Do not doubt me.”
Return to Hogwarts? Severus was not so sure he was ready, but then he could scarcely be a worse educator than some of his own teachers, and his true employer only cared about Dumbledore, not about O.W.L results.
He would serve the winning side.
Whatever it took, whatever the cost.
Thirty Seven
With Dumbledore and Mad-Eye Moody dead, and the rest of the Order directionless, Voldemort had as good as won - only he did not know this, and he would remain ignorant, if Severus had anything to do with it. He could still be defeated, as long as he believed Potter was worth it, as long as he considered this boy - mediocrity incarnate, the folly of fame personified - important enough to kill, and only by Voldemort’s own hand.
Despite the mounting evidence that the brat couldn’t be killed by the Dark Lord, Severus could not let him understand that he was the problem, not his wand.
“You must be the one to kill him, My Lord,” Severus cried. “It was this prospect that Dumbledore had feared the most! You know how he loved the boy, and how love made him weak!”
Voldemort could not be allowed to understand that he had already won. Alone behind enemy lines, Severus knew this, and none other. All the might of the Ministry and all the Death Eaters and all their allies and servants could not know it and could not change it. The silent and terrified people who still believed in goodness and in light still had a chance, few as they were, and Severus smiled to himself.
You have always been at your best when you were outnumbered, he reminded himself.
Do you think Snape cares about the environment?? I do!
Doyou care about the environment? Great!
Now that that is sorted could you do me a massive favour and participate in her survey about perceptions of environmental impacts for her university dissertation?
Hermione Granger: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?
Ron Weasley: What ice-cream flavours do you love/hate?
Hagrid: If you could breed two totally different animals together, what new animal would you create?
Dumbledore: What is your most treasured possession?
Voldemort: On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?
Fred Weasley: If you were told you only had one week left to live, what would you do?
George Weasley: If you could read minds, whose would you want to read?
Draco Malfoy: Do you like yourself?
Ginny Weasley: What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
Neville Longbottom: What’s your fondest memory?
Luna Lovegood: What are your favorite lyrics?
Severus Snape: Of all your pet-peeves, which is the strangest?
Remus Lupin: What is your greatest fear?
James Potter: If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be?
Lily Potter: Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
Sirius Black: What are your views on sex?
Tonks: if you could be anyone else for a day, fictional or non-fictional who would you be any why?
McGonagall: What do you believe I am thinking right now?
Bellatrix: three words would others probably use to describe you?
Lucius Malfoy: Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
Molly Weasley: What do you define as a family?
Arthur Weasley: If you could have any career possible, what would it be?
Peter Pettigrew: If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?
Umbridge: If you could choose, how would you want to die?
Colin Creevey: Who inspires you?
Dean Thomas: Are you generally organised or messy?
Seamus Finnigan: What makes you laugh?
Dudley Dursley: Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
Vernon Dursley: Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Petunia Dursley: How close are you to your family?
Victor Krum: What is your favorite form of exercise?
Dobby: Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I know these are kinda old but I’m bored and procrastinating when I should really be reading up on criminal trials so send me some asks if you want to know some random shit about me
As a student, Severus Snape was actually fascinated by this class which was led by the head of Slytherin. His parents had never told him about it, so he viewed it from a scientific viewpoint and asked lots of questions. This resulted in lots of laughter and teasing from his peers. He quickly learned not to speak up and became incredibly embarrassed by anything and everything to do with puberty.
As a teacher, he now has to give the “birds and the bees & the sex talk”. He loathes it. He teaches the class very scientifically and sticks to facts and statistics. Occasionally a student like himself will innocently ask very personal questions. The students laugh…but mostly because Snape answers so dryly as he turns red FROM HEAD TO TOE.
After class, Snape will pull the child aside and give them a book with more information because it’s what he would have wanted.
Gift piece for a friend of mine as a thank you for buying me a Snape figurine off of Etsy! I lowkey hate how hard this popped off lmao.
But yooo nothing like meeting your colleague in the street of London and lighting his cigarette for him in a totally heterosexual way am I right fellas?
