#the vampire diaires
Elena: So, how’d you convince the whole squad to betray me? What’d you offer them?
Y/n: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.
Y/n: *trying to wake up Katherine* Don’t make me get the water bucket.
Katherine:You wouldn’t.
Elena: *walking past dripping wet* Yes, she would.
Y/n: You remind me of someone I once dated
Kol: Were they smart, funny, and drop-dead gorgeous?
Y/n: More like obnoxious, annoying, and a pure dumbass.
Damon*from across the room*: HEY! WE’RE STILL DATING WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN THE PAST TENSE
Y/n: That’s the part you chose to focus on???
Y/n: Katherine, last night you got drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire.
Katherine: No I didn’t-
Y/n: I specifically remember you saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt!”
Bonnie: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Kai: Certainly, I’m as sure as I am honest!
Y/n:In that case, we're definitely lost.
Y/n: Alright. Can we just have a calm conversation like a normal people??
Caroline: Fine.. You go first.
Y/n: Okay, first of all, WHAT THE FUC-
*Rebekah and Mc skipping stones on lake*
Y/n: It’s such a beautiful evening. Almost as beautiful as you
Rebekah, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
Y/n: If there’s going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Elena: Of course. I can’t flip this table by myself.
Judge: How do you plead?
Kai:[looks at Y/n]
Y/n:[mouths “not guilty”]
Kai:Hot milky.
Y/n: [slams her head on the table] For Saint’s sake just lock him up
Stefan to Kai: If you were a flower, which one would you be?
Y/n about Kai: A cactus.
Stefan: I’m not sure that’s a—
Y/n: It’s green, it’s beautiful, and it stabs people.
Stefan:…
Kai:(blushes)
Damon : You’re so short, what can you even see down there?
Y/n: Your IQ.
Y/n: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Y/n: Katherine is still mad about it, but me and Elena were drunk and thought it was funny.
Y/n, pointing: May I sit there?
Katherine: That’s my lap.
Y/n: That doesn’t answer my question, Kath.
Bonnie: But why would they want to kidnap Kai?!
Y/n: Certainly not because they’ve met him, if they had they’d have given him back by now.
Bonnie: You’re supposed to be worried about them, you’re his girlfriend!
Y/n: But i am wrong?
