melissatreglia:

If you think spanking isn’t abuse, unfollow me.

Also, if you think that the only valid forms of abuse are physical ones that can leave permanent scarring, like: cigarette burns, broken bones, starvation and penetrative rape… unfollow me.

If you talk down to survivors of abuse like you think you know shit about it, unfollow me.

Also, please take a red-hot poker and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

And lookie there, I lost a follower right after making this post.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

If you think spanking isn’t abuse, unfollow me.

Also, if you think that the only valid forms of abuse are physical ones that can leave permanent scarring, like: cigarette burns, broken bones, starvation and penetrative rape… unfollow me.

If you talk down to survivors of abuse like you think you know shit about it, unfollow me.

Also, please take a red-hot poker and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

ragnvlndr:

okay yeah finally gonna say it. if you support loverofpiggies in any way (reading her comics, buying her merch, etc etc) i do not want you following me. i understand “death of the author” but when that author actively gr00med and abused me i don’t really care! you’re still engaging with her content when you could be engaging with /other/ content.

I think one of the things that always gets me in particular is how often “dark” writers say they’re just trying to “explore the topic / themes” whenever theyre criticized for writing absolutely vile things.

And I always want to know what the hell that’s supposed to mean in the context of these fics.

I DO think some dark topics can be explored in a reasonable manor, I obviously know someone who writes a murder mystery novel is not condoning murder. But the way you engage with a topic matters. Yes you can write a murder mystery, but if you exclusively write only graphic, detailed murder scenes and literally nothing else BUT the murder scenes themselves, I’m absolutely going to assume something is just deeply fucking wrong with you.

And I feel like that’s exactly how some of y'all approach this shit.

(tw for the rest of this post for discussing themes of sexual assault, racism, fetishization, abuse)

If you claim to be exploring sexual assault as a dark topic, to understand the themes of it and explore an understanding of it and the mental impact of it – but then exclusively only write violent, graphic sexual assault scenes and literally nothing else, I’m going to assume something is just deeply wrong with you.

You are not “exploring” a topic by writing a graphically disturbing oneshot. You just have a kink for writing noncon and abuse that you’re trying to pass off any responsibility for, and excusing it in the most pretentious way imagineable.

Ihave seen fics address the mental toll of sexual assault, and seen them do it respectfully, without showing graphic detail. Again I’m not against the exploration of these things. But when you’re writing 60k words of intense brutalization and that’s just… it. That’s the entire story. And then you write it again. And again. And again–

What exploration are you doing? What themes are you analyzing? What message are you attempting to send? If this truly is an exploration, you have an end goal to it, yes? What would be the point to it all if there wasn’t?

So besides you just… having a completely obvious kink for Din mentally, physically, and sexually abusing the shit out of Luke for no discernable reason other than you think its hot, go ahead and tell me what the purpose of your literary exploration was.

Go ahead and tell me what, in your analysis of the available canon media, led you to these character decisions. Go ahead and explain to me why you would assume these characters would perform these acts and why. Give me your whole reasoning. Give me examples. Cite your sources.

Oh it’s an AU? It doesn’t follow canon? So as someone with even more control over this universe now, explain to me what led you to these decisions as an author. Why you picked these specific characters for these specific scenarios. Do you even have a solid reason? If this truly is just a harmless fictional exploration of a fictional universe, why do you always seem to draw on and enforce such real-world prejudices?

(This is all rhetorical I don’t want to hear your shitty fucking explanations, but I’m encouraging you guys to ask this shit of yourselves. Be cognizant of your decisions and their implications.)

If the grand majority of your writing is based around Latino and Māori men brutalizing, assaulting, torturing, and abusing other characters, you are not fucking “exploring dark themes” in any way. You’re just fucking racist, and completely unaware of the way in which you fetishize characters. Stop making excuses for yourself.

Stop hiding under the guise of being some dark visionary for the Star Wars writing scene. You’re not ‘pushing boundaries.’ You’re just reinforcing harmful stereotypes for the sake of an irresponsibly handled kink.

I do not fucking trust people that grab at dark topics with both hands and claim it’s fine because they’re not condoning it, or they’re just exploring it. I don’t care what you think you’re doing. If your first thought upon consuming new media is about how much you’d like to write the characters grahically sexually assaulting each other and post it on the internet to share, you need to fucking seek help, not praise.

Anyways I’m so incredibly tired of my trauma being used as a casual kink for shitty racist people. 'Dark’ fic writers go choke challenge✌️

Interviewer: “Do you think Josef Fritzl kept Elisabeth locked up for all those years because he loved her, albeit in a twisted way?”

1) No.
2) Fuck off.

blk-wizard:

I am a black trans woman who was being beaten by my now ex boyfriend and threats are being made on my life. I had to leave with nothing but the clothes on my back. I am now living with my parents who hate me for being a trans lesbian. They are trying to send me away to conversion therapy (I honestly don’t know if it’s just a threat or real). I have spinal muscular atrophy and no other family to take care of my needs. I need help to escape my parents’ and start a new life. Please, if you can, remember that black Trans lives matter and dig deep.

It would be really useful if I could have monthly subscribers to my new Patreon. I will post my writing and photography biweekly. These monthly subscriptions would help me successfully live on my own. However, I understand that many cannot make that commitment so I’m posting my PayPal for one time donations. Any donations mean the world. Thank you.

SUPPORT RICHIE is creating Writing and Photography | Patreon

Pay Richie Bickford using PayPal.Me

There’s a reason why I don’t answer asks about my childhood on my blog. It’s uncomfortable and you don’t know who’s watching (like pedophiles). Making a profit about stories of child porn that are your experiences of r*pe and abuse is fucked up. There are no excuses for that, regardless of your situation.

bidyke:

I’m bothered by the discussion around Amber Heard revolving around the notion that “bisexuality doesn’t justify violence”. Not because it’s untrue, but because it’s superficial.

The real issue here is that women are punished by patriarchy for being bisexual. That our bisexuality is perceived as such a threat to cishet masculinity that physical violence seems an appropriate response to it. That women’s bisexuality is a punishable crime.

This whole discussion demonstrates the power dynamics around women’s bisexuality and the depth of sapphobia (misogyny against bi women) in society. The terms of the discussion should move beyond apologetics (i.e. we don’t deserve this) and into in-depth explorations of why this violence is perceived as acceptable.

#AmberHeard

Anyone else become hypersexual after being abused only to realise six years later they’re actually grey-asexual and panromantic?

Sometimes I Wonder..

Sometimes I wonder,
if you ever feel remorse
or understand the gravity
of the pain your actions caused.

I don’t think you do
or you wouldn’t continue,
to put me through the daily abuse.

Sometimes I wonder,
if you could go back
would you do it all over again?
If you knew now what you didn’t back then?

Why I’m Pro-Choice and Terrified Because I Nearly Lost my Bodily Autonomy, and it was Really Bad for me: A Novel.

*****
Because when I found out I was pregnant, he told me I was getting an abortion. He made me call and make all the appointments myself. He made me get a hold of a friend who was willing to lend us money. He made me go meet with her, alone, to get the loan. (Though, I will give him points for driving to pick up pregnancy tests at midnight, after I tearfully confessed to him my period was 2 weeks late and I knew I was pregnant.)

Because I felt like I never had a voice in the conversation. He decided we weren’t keeping it. Sure, we discussed it, but I never felt like my opinion mattered.

Because he tried to take my choice away. Because he told me I shouldn’t talk to my parents (because they’d try to talk me out of it). Because he just…never made me feel like I could do anything else. Because even when he tried to frame the conversation around me—it would be bad for my health, I wasn’t ready, etc—it always came back to him and his desires.

Because he wasn’t sure he could give up a baby for adoption. More than that, he was concerned with how it would make him look.

Because he took off his wedding ring and threw it at me while threatening divorce if I decided not to have an abortion. Not while we were fighting or screaming. No. This was when I was tearfully confessing that I couldn’t do it…that I couldn’t go through with having an abortion. That I wanted to keep the baby, even if that meant giving it up for adoption.

Because he spent hours screaming and yelling at me for making the decision to keep the baby, even though I wasn’t yet sure if I was going to keep it for myself or give it up for adoption. He didn’t want to have a discussion. He wanted HIS choice to be MY choice.

Because I can’t even tell you how many times I almost gave in to his demands, just so he wouldn’t leave me.

Because I spent my pregnancy feeling like I should be grateful that he allowed me to keep the baby. Like I ultimately had zero say over what happened. Like he was still the one who determined life or death.
*****

I think the worst part about it was…whenever I tried to talk to him about it after the fact, whenever I tried to get past this trauma…he never apologized. Not really. Whenever we talked about it, or I expressed my hurt over it, he would immediately turn the conversation back at me. It was just another subtle manipulation where I walked away feeling like I was just being hysterical. No, it wasn’t really that bad, and my feelings weren’t valid.

It was all my fault, and he was sure to remind me of that for a long time. It was my fault we got pregnant, my fault we kept the child, and my fault that life didn’t turn out the way we expected.

I know when I got pregnant. I remember it VERY clearly. Because it was…well, it was a memorable evening, we’ll just say that.

But see. I wasn’t on my birth control at the time. We’d recently moved, and my new insurance had just kicked in, and I hadn’t had time to get my birth control refilled. And when you’re in the throes of passion and your spouse tells you (apparently, in all seriousness) “Well, if you get pregnant, you’ll need to get an abortion” you just go with it, because you think he’s just joking. Of course, I thought it was a joke…

Later, after the screaming and crying and him throwing his ring at me, he tried to tell me that was why he did all of it. That was why he was so mad. Because I apparently was breaking some kind of binding contract in his mind. His angry overreaction was my fault.

If he’d ever just said, ‘I’m sorry I reacted that way. I was scared and uncertain.’ rather than putting it all back on me…I think it would have helped. The trauma would have healed.

I understand why he wanted me to abort the baby, I really do. We weren’t in a great place for having a child. We both had jobs, but they weren’t GREAT ones, or career jobs. We shared a house with roommates. We had dogs. We had a life that we enjoyed, filled with hobbies and social events. Adding a baby wasn’t ideal. And of course I wanted my partner involved in that conversation…but involvement doesn’t mean he gets to command what I do with my body.

After kiddo was born, he wasn’t a bad father. And it’s hard for me to talk about this now, because it turned out ok in the end—I have an amazing child, and their parents love them deeply, even though we’re now divorced. But this affected me deeply. This left me with anxiety and nightmares for years. This broke me. And I don’t know how to talk about it, because it’s not the typical abortion story. I don’t know if my trauma is valid, but the current conversations make all the old feelings come back.

I had access, and I was privileged enough that I could get care. I could find a friend willing to lend me money for the procedure. And when I finally voiced my real desire (because I wanted to keep that baby from the very start) I had so much support from my family and friends. They were there for me, whatever I decided to do. Today, I have an amazing child who has changed my world. I’ve been divorced for a few years now, but this still sticks with me. This still hurts and terrifies me.

I am staunchly pro-choice. I will hold your hand and help you with whatever decision you make. I will defend your right to choose. No one should be forced into this decision, one way or another, and the people trying to do just that are monsters.

My story could have ended very differently.
*****

my biggest glow up last year was finally being able to tell a guy „no“, telling him to stop touching me, and finally being able to push him away, slap and hit him.

it didn’t work tho that’s why 2022 me will always carry a knife with her :)

Authorities say Domingo Spinney, of Milford, used a bogus profile on the dating website PlentyOfFish to arrange meetings with the women at restaurants last December–but the person the women were expecting never showed up.

Instead, they say Spinney hit on them at the bar when they thought they were being stood up. They say he used a different name and asked for their phone numbers, and was rejected each time.

Police say he stalked the women who turned him down, slashing tires and throwing a brick through a window of a woman’s home.

https://boston.cbslocal.com/2017/02/23/dating-site-stalker-domingo-spinney-milford-plenty-of-fish-vandalized-cars-houses/