summary— out of the skies and into your quiet corner of the world comes a gang of artists and one engineer, courtesy of your favorite bush pilot, Zeke Yeager. As a rule-abiding park ranger, you get to teach your captive audience that even the best laid plans of marmots and men often go awry… this is usually due to the weather, weed, and Zeke’s little half brother.(FeaturingUntitledEren and Armin)
content & warnings— modern AU, drugs,weed, alcohol, swearing, dubcon (cos smut + drugs), oral sex, smut, condom use, spanking, hair pulling, ass play, exhibitionism, slight degradation, teasing, praise, ‘good girl’ used, reader uses she/her pronouns and has boobs + a vagina
word count—~16,950
note— i figured 420 was a good excuse as any to repost this fic from my former/deleted blog. I originally wrote this for @lacheri’sMoonlight Muse collab. this second edition includes substantial edits and i apologize for the first edition— that was notit.
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Azrael, of course, didn’t notice the expression on her brother’s face. She was in her own little world and for once she liked it that way. The voices were still there, though they were slowly starting to quiet as well as she lost more and more of her angelic powers. It was disconcerting and one of the reasons she nearly constantly could be found listening to music – to fill that void so she wouldn’t be surrounded by silence.
At his question she frowned and looked up towards the ceiling, thinking. “I…am not sure?” She honestly wasn’t. “You have so much, I didn’t think you would mind…I’m sorry…”
She jumped down from the seat and brushed her hair back again before staggering to the couch with him and flopping down heavily and curled up next to him. “Only once or twice? I feel like that’s not near enough. You need to hear it more often because I know you think you don’t deserve love or what you have sometimes and if people keep telling you you do hopefully you’ll start to believe it.”
“Hurt myself? What do you mean? I’ve not done anything you wouldn’t do?” She insisted, but did settle in nonetheless because food. Azzie lifted her head to look at him, “I’m sorry…” She didn’t know why she was saying it, just that she felt the need to, and she did mean it. “Have I…disappointed you?”
✮ Lucifer dialled the number for the local Mexican place and held the phone to his ear as Azrael spoke in response to his questioning about his stash and to why she had dipped into it. Letting out a soft sigh, Lucifer shook his head when he heard her asking if he was disappointed in her. “No, Rae-Rae, I have no reason to he disappointed.” He admitted, before snapping his attention to the person that answered the phone.
Quickly ordering a few different tacos and a couple portions of cake, Lucifer plopped himself down on the couch beside Azrael. “You may have been doing things I do, but remember I have control of my self actualisation. You are just coming to terms with yours.” He explained, leaning back and turning his head to look towards her.
"Drugs in a large doses to us Angel is usual nothing, but when you don’t have control over your invulnerability, it could he dangerous.“ He explained, frowning now that he realised his past behaviours could potentially be dangerous for anyone looking up to him.
btw there is nothing morally superior about not having drugs in your body. having drugs in your body does not make you “impure” or “tainted”. whether you take meds to treat mental illness or a physical disability, or you take hormones, or you do recreational drugs, you are not a worse person for that. the idea that humans should stay perfectly unchanged and that anything we do to alter our bodies is inherently morally unacceptable is bullshit. you are not a better person just because you do not use any drugs, and people who do use drugs (for whatever reason) are not worse people because of that.
I’m so into the idea of kidnapping, you don’t even know. Especially when it’s someone with high influence??? I’m talking someone of high power going into a city or smth and seeing this poor little person who’s too kind. Too beautiful, too caring. And thinking, “this person- no one would be good enough for them. Everyone would take advantage of them, no one would care for them. No one would care for them as much as I could.”
And so they take that person. Personally, I love the idea of the higher power taking their poor beloved off the street in broad daylight, telling concerned passbyers that’s they spouse and they haven’t had their medication yet. But also, the amount of routes you could go if the higher power follows their beloved home and yanks them from there? Taking them from their room, the shower, the kitchen??? While other people are in the house?!?
Then the higher power takes their beloved home, reassuring them that everything’s going to be ok, I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t you worry my love, everything is ok. And the higher power takes them home to this giant mansion and is like, “this is our house. These servants are yours, if you need anything just ask them.” And their poor beloved is so confused. Crying and screaming and begging to be let go and “I’ll do anything, please let me go home!” And the higher power is saying “you want to see your room? You’re getting used to your new home already my love!”
And eventually when it’s dinner time, the higher power thinks their beloved needs a bit of help to calm down. They slip a little medicine in their drink, have to take a sip of it first to show it’s ok to drink after all, and they wait for their beloved to calm down. Except, they like their beloved being this calm. They’re not screaming and crying, only cuddling up and whimpering on how they want to go to sleep all the time. But that’s much better than sobs.
Because after all, can’t have their spouse scream when they have other important guests over, can they?
Me anytime I get surgery: I’m scared I’m going to say something embarrassing or reveal a secret when I’m on anesthesia…
Me every single time I’m on anesthesia: AAA I’M GETTING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS *falls asleep*
(This is queued to be posted while I’m in surgery)
I was expecting to be all silly this time but I wasn’t, still druggy but not silly, so I came out of anesthesia and once everyone left I was like mom my vagina hurts and got scared I’d somehow started my period even though I don’t menstruate.
Using this as my top recovery thread. Everything went well but a lot of anesthesia ended up in my right hand so it’s very dumb and also the thing that made my urethra hurt (not my vagina, apparently) is making me not be able to pee so just chugging water. Food at hospital is really good tho
Turns out anesthesia can interfere with your ability to urinate. Even sort of describing that would be very graphic so not going to.
Had a temp nurse who didn’t really know what I was there for and asked if I could use the urinal *fist pumps in victory*
Came home yesterday, able to type on short bursts when painkillers are in effect but not a ton of activity
This was going to be a funny thread and I’d do a serious one later but I forgot the antibiotics I took with my t last year fucked up my stomach so one pill yesterday reset a lot of the progress
Eating is kind of an ordeal but others find it funny. I have a small mouth, big teeth, and a jaw that doesn’t work right so my caretakers try to mash food into my mouth while I’m just kind of lying there like a wet noodle and they all find it hilarious.
Also had this conversation-
My mom: you’re bleeding
Me: no that was a strawberry
Her: no, you’re having a nosebleed.
Me: I literally can’t bleed from there. That was a strawberry
Later
Her: *watching the same thing happen* oh
Me: see????
Day five and I’ve now gotten through most of the hard bits and I’m now lying here wondering where my nipples are
Me anytime I get surgery: I’m scared I’m going to say something embarrassing or reveal a secret when I’m on anesthesia…
Me every single time I’m on anesthesia: AAA I’M GETTING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS *falls asleep*
(This is queued to be posted while I’m in surgery)
I was expecting to be all silly this time but I wasn’t, still druggy but not silly, so I came out of anesthesia and once everyone left I was like mom my vagina hurts and got scared I’d somehow started my period even though I don’t menstruate.
Using this as my top recovery thread. Everything went well but a lot of anesthesia ended up in my right hand so it’s very dumb and also the thing that made my urethra hurt (not my vagina, apparently) is making me not be able to pee so just chugging water. Food at hospital is really good tho
Turns out anesthesia can interfere with your ability to urinate. Even sort of describing that would be very graphic so not going to.
Had a temp nurse who didn’t really know what I was there for and asked if I could use the urinal *fist pumps in victory*
Came home yesterday, able to type on short bursts when painkillers are in effect but not a ton of activity
This was going to be a funny thread and I’d do a serious one later but I forgot the antibiotics I took with my t last year fucked up my stomach so one pill yesterday reset a lot of the progress
Eating is kind of an ordeal but others find it funny. I have a small mouth, big teeth, and a jaw that doesn’t work right so my caretakers try to mash food into my mouth while I’m just kind of lying there like a wet noodle and they all find it hilarious.
Also had this conversation-
My mom: you’re bleeding
Me: no that was a strawberry
Her: no, you’re having a nosebleed.
Me: I literally can’t bleed from there. That was a strawberry
Me anytime I get surgery: I’m scared I’m going to say something embarrassing or reveal a secret when I’m on anesthesia…
Me every single time I’m on anesthesia: AAA I’M GETTING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS *falls asleep*
(This is queued to be posted while I’m in surgery)
I was expecting to be all silly this time but I wasn’t, still druggy but not silly, so I came out of anesthesia and once everyone left I was like mom my vagina hurts and got scared I’d somehow started my period even though I don’t menstruate.
Using this as my top recovery thread. Everything went well but a lot of anesthesia ended up in my right hand so it’s very dumb and also the thing that made my urethra hurt (not my vagina, apparently) is making me not be able to pee so just chugging water. Food at hospital is really good tho
Turns out anesthesia can interfere with your ability to urinate. Even sort of describing that would be very graphic so not going to.
Had a temp nurse who didn’t really know what I was there for and asked if I could use the urinal *fist pumps in victory*
Came home yesterday, able to type on short bursts when painkillers are in effect but not a ton of activity
Me anytime I get surgery: I’m scared I’m going to say something embarrassing or reveal a secret when I’m on anesthesia…
Me every single time I’m on anesthesia: AAA I’M GETTING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS *falls asleep*
(This is queued to be posted while I’m in surgery)
I was expecting to be all silly this time but I wasn’t, still druggy but not silly, so I came out of anesthesia and once everyone left I was like mom my vagina hurts and got scared I’d somehow started my period even though I don’t menstruate.
Using this as my top recovery thread. Everything went well but a lot of anesthesia ended up in my right hand so it’s very dumb and also the thing that made my urethra hurt (not my vagina, apparently) is making me not be able to pee so just chugging water. Food at hospital is really good tho
Me anytime I get surgery: I’m scared I’m going to say something embarrassing or reveal a secret when I’m on anesthesia…
Me every single time I’m on anesthesia: AAA I’M GETTING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS *falls asleep*
(This is queued to be posted while I’m in surgery)
I was expecting to be all silly this time but I wasn’t, still druggy but not silly, so I came out of anesthesia and once everyone left I was like mom my vagina hurts and got scared I’d somehow started my period even though I don’t menstruate.
I finally got to ‘The End’ in my spn rewatch and I cant help but wonder, if after everything, Dean confides in Jack that he still regrets not being able to do anything to help Endverse!Cas and Jacks like “oh my dad is sad in another reality???? I’m God!!!!! Lemme just pop on over there and fix that!”
tw: mentions of violence, drug usage, mentions of substance use issues
FFF: The Big City
–
Holy. Shit. He hates. Cornfields.
He never thought he could hold a grudge against a plant that hard but sure enough, he can and he does- enough so that when he finally sees the sign welcoming him to Pennsylvania, a palpable shudder of relief runs through his shoulders. No one’s fucking heard of a corn field in Pennsylvania. What the fuck do they even grow in Pennsylvania-
Apparently corn.
And after thatstream of curses, his knuckles bone white as he grips the steering wheel like he’s strangling it, he thinks maybe he should stop for the day. He hasn’t been sleeping well. Call it excitement or panic or the beginnings (beginnings?) of a nervous breakdown, but he’s got maybe five minutes over the course of the past twenty-four hours. He needs to calm down. He needs to think through his next moves very carefully, because rushing into things landed him in fucking cornfield hell shitfuck nowhere Iowa and the stakes are alothigher now.
Pull over for the time being. If you can’t sleep, at least take one of your pills and just calm down. He thinks that through and nods and then it’s pulling to the side of an obnoxiously scenic road, his palms pressed hard to his eyes once the car’s off.
Fuck. He can’t act like he doesn’t know what he’s doing at this point, because he does. He’s done exactly one job for the past twenty odd years and he’s doing it here too- making people in his way get out of his way. And, well, he knows exactly who’s in his way here because if it was himwith a six year old daughter, a husband, and some lunatic trying to see them then-
Well, if he had all that, he wouldn’t be in this position first off. But anyways, he’d totally kill that guy.
So that’s that. See your daughter. See your husband. Take care of the hypotenuse to this sick little love triangle. And pray to Christ that whoever the MOIRAI send after you, it’s not someone you trained because that might actually be a problem.
Yeah. Good plan.
And he very pointedly does notthink about what’s next after that because well- he already knows he can’t win. There’s no way out now and no point thinking about that because if he does, he’s going to fall apart entirely. So instead he lets his hands slip down off his eyes, his head pounding, and he thanks god that the asshole he took the car from packed Capri-Suns like a motherfucker because dry swallowing oxy sucks-
One tablet and a sigh and he leans the driver’s seat back. He’s got time. It takes longer by mouth, but there’s no way he wants to fuck up his veins. He lets his mind drift, his eyes shut and the afternoon sun coming through the car’s sun roof, and he considers that it’s a four hour drive from here to there. Maybe five with traffic. Not long at all now.
He should clean up first.
There’s that little piece of him now that wants to make a good impression- that desperate, unhinged voice saying maybe it can work, maybe maybe maybe even as what remains of his logic screams that you can’t fucking kill someone and expect their spouse and kid to love you, even if youare him. Even if you’re a better him. A him who doesn’t bother to hide those little white pills, a him who would be honest because they deserve to know-
A better husband. A better Akihiro, though his birth name barely registers as his own anymore. The man he’s going to kill is Akihiro. And he’s-
He hesitates, because he’s never had the chance to pick his own name. Akihiro. ATROPOS. They were both handed to him by someone else. They both ring hollow now. Neither is him, because he’s-
He is Odysseus. Returning home to Ithaca.
That feels right.
And so Odysseus rests, numbed to sleep, and he dreams about a city and a daughter and a better life waiting for him.
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