Me, leaving my friend’s apartment with his load tightly clenched in my ass to go get a DNA test done to see if his questionable girlfriend really is pregnant with his child:
odysseus hijacking the odyssey and forcing it to go from third person omniscient to first person vs moby dick gradually slipping from first person to third to a chapter written as a play after which ishmael has to reintroduce himself in order to regain control over the narrative. Fight
Trying out making my own diapered loser poster ! Let me know what you all think! Also as always reblog, share, and spread my exposure and humiliation anywhere you want!
Trying out making my own diapered loser poster ! Let me know what you all think! Also as always reblog, share, and spread my exposure and humiliation anywhere you want!
If I won’t be able to stand in the edge of a cliff waiting for the dawn beside my fey mate to march with our army for a war while Harry Potter Lilly’s theme song plays in the background and the cold wind blows my hair…
this is a series of gummy commercials where it looks like the girlfriend is cheating on the boyfriend with this dashing dude who has longer gummies than him, and at the conclusion of the series of commercials after they get married and long man comes to the wedding it looks like the wife is going to leave with him but then long man confesses his love for the husband.
the fact that we can’t drink sea water even tho its the most common type of water just bc its 3% salt yet we can safely consume multiple forms of literal poison and even benefit from doing so just blows my fucking mind
Peppers: Now that I have capsaicin, no mammal will eat me! ONLY BIRDS. THE BIRDS WILL SPREAD MY SEEDS.
Humans: oh my god this burns so good
Peppers: wut
poppies: at last, i have evolved my sap to the point where anything that eats me will sleep… FOREVER
humans who are about to invent painkillers: hey guess what
tobacco: finally i can grow in peace, no more insects munching on my leaves.
humans holding matches: my, my, what do we have here?
Mint: Stay off me bugs or I’ll poison you!
Humans:Yeah I’m gonna need to put this poison in my dessert and mix it with chocolate.
Aliens Studying the Planet:
The fact I didn’t know half of these are poisons says A LOT.
Plants: *evolve defenses to dissuade from being eaten*
did cinderella ever talk to her man about his faceblindness
#‘i met the perfect woman but it was a special occasion’#'so now wherever she is her makeup and hair are probably different’#'this is my nightmare’
rip prince charming, who had to let the whole kingdom make jokes about his foot fetish for the rest of his life because every blonde with an updo looks basically the same as far as he can tell
they call him prince charming because he’s always really polite to strangers to cover for the fact that he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize them from somewhere and when you’re a prince that shit starts wars
best part of this post is all the people with prosopagnosia confirming that they literally never questioned why the prince was incapable of hiring a sketch artist even in versions without masks/glamours
Yo I’m trying to draw Nico and I forgot where the bicep was, so I googled it so I could draw his werewolf scars, and wtf???? They’re like the middle of your upper arm??? Honestly feeling kinda like a dipstick rn for not knowing that lol
