Gogol Bordello – Alcohol

I’m sharing a coke with myself.

- CinnaMon -

-BoldbutSmooth-

“I’m drunk……I’ve never been drunk in my life”

“I’m corrupting you, at last”

- Mysterious Skin (2004)

Crown Apple Fudge Brownies 

Ingredients 

½ cup + 1 tbsp all purpose flour 

2/3 cup warm vegetable oil 

2/3 cup Dutch-processed cocoa  

2/3 cup light brown sugar 

1 1/3 powdered sugar (sifted) 

¼ tsp kosher salt 

¼ tsp baking powder 

3 eggs, room temperature  

1 ¼ tsp vanilla extract 

~35 ml Crown Royal Apple whiskey (Crown Vanilla is also a great substitute) 

Directions 

Preheat your oven to 330 degrees Fahrenheit. 

Line an 11x7 baking dish with parchment paper so that it hangs over the sides and spray liberally with non-stick spray. 

In a small pan, heat the vegetable oil over medium heat until it is warm to the touch. It should not be too hot. 

In a small bowl, combine the cocoa and the oil and whisk until the cocoa has dissolved. 

Add in the whiskey. 

Set the ‘fudge’ mixture aside while you prepare the remainder of the ingredients. 

In a large bowl (or standing mixer), combine the eggs and sugars and mix thoroughly for about 4 minutes. The mixture should be as smooth as possible.

Add in the vanilla extract and prepare the dry ingredients.

In another small bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. 

Now that the fudge mixture has had a moment to bloom, combine ½ of the mixture into the wet ingredients (eggs, etc.) and mix for about 3 minutes until smooth. 

Add in the dry ingredients and the remaining half of the fudge mixture. 

Mix until the dry ingredients are just combined, careful to not over-mix. 

Pour the batter into the pan and bake on the center rack for 22-26 minutes. 

Once the brownies are finished baking, remove them from the oven and allow for them to cool for 5 minutes before removing from the pan. 

Using the hanging parchment, carefully lift the brownies from the pan and set aside to cool for another 5 minutes. 

Cut into your desired portions and serve! 

Enjoy! 

A set of sketch commissions for RabidBadger, featuring their kobold Fangrim interacting with Hyden in the Amarantine “past” setting. Story under the cut!

Though by his later years, Duke Hyden’s reputation had soured, the powerful wizard still received occasional requests for magical favors–nearly all of which he ignored. After all, what could they possibly offer the man who had everything (and still was miserable)?

So when a small, fidgety kobold approached him one day and nervously began to introduce himself, Hyden initially paid the creature little mind. He was just about to call the guards on him when he heard a phrase that perked up his long bunny ears–“draconic heritage”. The kobold, Fangrim, told Hyden that he was descended from a powerful dark dragon, but that his draconic powers had been sealed–and he wanted them back.

Well! This was certainly far more interesting than the bland, boring questions Hyden was used to getting! But the dark wizard had an ulterior motive. Feigning disinterest, he allowed Fangrim to continue begging and pleading for his help. As his desperation grew, the kobold began offering greater and greater rewards and favors in return. Slowly, it seemed, Hyden began to come around. Alright, yes, he would help–but he wanted something very specific in return.

It was not jewels or land or riches… those things he already had. What Hyden wanted was Fangrim’s blood. Magical blood, such as that that came from unicorns and dragons had special properties, you see… properties that Hyden was hoping to make use of. Desperate for help, Fangrim acquiesced to Hyden’s request and the deal was sealed. Undeterred by his hard reptilian scales, Hyden proceeded to drain vial after vial of blood from him. Fangrim was all too happy to help… it would all be worth it in the end, he was sure of it. Hyden had promised that the blood would be critical for his research… critical for figuring out a way to get Fangrim his powers back. Though now woozy with blood loss, he mumbled his thanks to Hyden as he lay facedown on the table. How lucky he was, to have such a talented and powerful wizard on his side!

As the bloodletting session drew to a close, Hyden began to contemplate the important next step of his plan: dinner. Draining someone’s blood was just so much work–he surely deserved to treat himself and relax after all that. He brought some food and drink down and generously offered some of it to the very woozy kobold. Surely getting something in his stomach would perk him back up… and, importantly, get him on his way home and out of Hyden’s hair.

Fangrim certainly did perk up with some food and drink (especially the drink), but too late, Hyden realized that a miscalculation had occurred. Compared to himself, Fangrim was quite small, and did not have much blood in him at this point besides. Also, Fangrim was very, very eager to thank Hyden for all the wonderful help he’d done for him. And now giving him this wine, too? So generous! Sprawled on the table, the tipsy kobold spent over an hour alternating between singing Hyden’s praises, rambling on about his dragon ancestors, thanking Hyden profusely, and gushing about how wonderful it would be to be back at full power. Which would surely happen very, very soon, right?

“…Don’t mention it,” Hyden replied flatly as he subtly moved the wine bottle Fangrim had been nursing on to the opposite side of the table. Though he was usually all too happy to hear flattery, he’d gotten what he needed, and now had no more use for Fangrim or his praise–the sooner he went home, the better.

sharksmirk:

For anon who requested a drunk Elita

Look, she knows what she wants and she’s gonna get it.