comicallycool:

gxth-jxck:

gxth-jxck:

gothdolphin:

me: how do churches deal with gluten at communion

first response on a catholic forum:

The Roman Catholic church is the only Christian faith with any mettle.

It’s not bread. It’s Jesus, dipshit. Next question.

It’s jesus, but also jesus’ body activates Celiac’s

Can’t your savior transubstantiate some basic carbohydrates? I thought he was big on chemistry, that whole water and wine business…

Just doing some journaling tonight, rejoicing in the beautiful life Christ has given me.

What a wonderful reminder.

When you can’t seem to put your prayer into words, know that God hears your heart.

I’m thankful Jesus never says, “This is the last time I’ll put you back together.”

mood board as of late, been thinking of starting a podcast ? ✝️⚔️

Not all Muslims are terrorists!!1!

But all Catholic Priests are pedophiles, and
all Baptist Preachers are homophobic and sexist. Am I right?

and if, by his own hand, his spirit flies, take his body as a relic to be canonized, now, and so he gets to die a saint but she will always be the whore

vaults-of-zin:

redchrominance:

yeah yeah the catholic church sucks but they kinda went off with the bronze sculpture behind the pope’s throne 

It gets better.

It’s the sick bird skull head that really makes it.

sonofmeatthawsmoth:

cop-disliker69:

venturecommunist:

cop-disliker69:

tus-labios-o-la-vida:

cop-disliker69:

flakmaniak:

flakmaniak:

dagny-hashtaggart:

Anyway, have reached the “mansplaining Catholicism to Catholics” point of the evening, which definitely means it’s time to log off

I always assumed that “immaculate conception” referred to the conception of Jesus and not of Mary. But I am not, nor was I raised, Catholic.

Did Mary at least get to do it with Joseph AFTER Jesus was conceived?

Perhaps a gangbang with all the hot young men of Bethlehem, as a reward for bearing the son of god?

The Gospels refer several times to Jesus’s “brothers” (half-brothers presumably lol) so she couldn’t have been a lifelong virgin. But Catholics are so weirdly obsessed with Mary I think they dispute that.

The word “virgin” in the bible originally was meant to refer to “young girl” not “person who hasnt had sex yet” ‍♀️

That’s inane. Jesus’s birth wouldn’t be miraculous if it was just a young girl. The whole point is that she didn’t have sex, God impregnated her.

the Son of God was born of a young unmarried woman; it is none of our business how that happened.

Lol no, it really is. The story doesn’t make any fucking sense otherwise.

The word “parthenos” in Matthew does indeed mean “virgin” as in “someone who has never had sex”:

“Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin [Greek parthenos] shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.” - Matt. 1:22-23

 Matthew is citing Isaiah 7:14, which reads:

“Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin [mistranslation of Heb. almah, young woman] shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”

Almah means young woman, not virgin particularly. (Think of the English words “maid” and “maiden” and you can see how the mistranslation arose.) But parthenos does mean virgin, and the entire point of the story in Matthew, and of Matthew’s citation of Isaiah, is to portray Jesus’ birth as miraculous. The virginal conception is very obvious, translation issues aside:

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.” - Matt. 1:18-20

Scripture does mention Jesus’ brothers, and his sisters in a few places. The most natural assumption is that these were Mary and Joseph’s children, born after Jesus, but they could also have been Joseph’s children from a first marriage, or Jesus’ cousins. Catholics are required to believe in the perpetual virginity of Mary on pain of excommunication; Protestant reformers like Luther, Calvin, and Wesley all believed in it as well. 

heresylog:

heresylog:

vworpstageleft:

raptortooth:

pregnantseinfeld:

I love the latest controversy in the Catholic church! Some priests haven’t been doing baptism right and because they decided those are all void they gotta deal with the implication they sent people to hell as a bit of a whoopsie.

My understanding is that the priest was criticized for saying “we” instead of “I” during the baptism, which took him by surprise because he had been doing that the entire time he’s been a priest, and that led to every baptism he’s ever performed being declared invalid.

Then other priests started to come forward saying that they also had been saying “we” instead of “I”, and therefore all their baptisms don’t count.

Then people started to look back at videos of their own baptisms, and now multiple priests have discovered that their own baptism was never valid in the first place, therefore they have never been *really* Christian, and therefore have never been priests, and everything they’ve done in their entire career was meaningless.

And the reason they have to say “I” and not “we” is because the baptism is really being performed by Actual Jesus Christ, not by a “we” of any sort, literal or figurative. And you know what that means?

This whole thing is happening because people weren’t using Jesus’s preferred pronouns.

I’m still not getting it. The whole sentence is “I baptize you in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit.” So we’re already accepting that the person doing the baptizing is not god, but invoking his authority.

It’s because you’re channeling Jesus when you baptize. So the priest is actually Jesus in that moment.

Also, you don’t go to hell if you aren’t baptized. They changed the rules.