#classical academia
ig: womanon
Emily Dickinson’s Herbarium
i aspire to be a well-read, creative, strong, independent woman who is secure in who she is and what she wants.
all I need is a pile of books
Museo Nazionale Romano, Palazzo Altemps
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
“My eyes ache with the weight of unshed tears. You are my home, do you not understand?”
Amy Lowell
Lover III
Lover II
Lover
Now now, would you take a look at these masterpieces
The vibes that these pictures give me…
Oh, how I wish I could go back in time and live a life just like them.
No words of mine could ever fathom the feelings, that these pictures give me.
you’ve heard of dark academia bitches that finish one book a year, get ready for citycore bitches that go out in the city once every two months
I don’t have a personality. I have a few Pinterest boards.
Someone said that we should start reading books from beginning to the end in one sitting again because when we did I’m the past we had good times.
And while I can say that when I used to do that I was happier I can’t say that the books I did it with made me happy - for example “If we were villans” comes to mind.
Being smart and good at thinking is something people are envious of but what they don’t realize is that the world was not made for people like that.
Being smart means being lonely. It means being able to create an amazing world inside your head and being forced to stay there.
It means being able to discuss extremely interesting topics but having nobody to do it with or doing it so rarely cause people get bored of you easily as you’re not “fun”.
It means having passions and always wondering if you’re good enough as you can always learn more and be better. It means the awareness of how much you still don’t know.
And it means people always saying that they are not familiar with the topic or never thought of it so they have nothing to say to you.
It means compensating with fictional characters cause there is nobody in your life except for them.
Being smart and good at thinking means starting a story and realizing nobody is listening because nobody cares or wants to understand so you slowly fade away and they don’t even notice you’re not talking anymore. Except it’s not a moment but your whole life.
THE GOLDFINCH
I’ve recently finished The Goldfinch and actually forgot to talk about it. On contrary to other books I’ve posted about (tsh, tsoa) this one didn’t give me much to think about. I didn’t feel much after finishing it.
I liked it, it just wasn’t as great as I was expecting it to be. I was surprised when I found out that Boris took the painting but that was actually the peak of emotions in that book.
Till the last page I was waiting for something to move me. And it didn’t. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the plot and the characters. It just wasn’t “it”.
What made me cry was that I read over 800 pages and did not feel like my life shifted even a bit.
what they think dark academics are: constantly studying, drinking tea while reading a good book, intellectuals, studying 10 different languages at the same time, dark.
what dark academics actually are: chaotic, procrastinating, scrolling through tumblr and instagram, looking up aesthetically pleasing pictures, looking up swear words in latin, a plant mom/dad/parent, collecting books that they never end up reading.
It physically hurts cause it’s so true.
I have so many passions I’m not able to actually pursue any of them.
I want to learn about consciousness but I want to learn about the placebo effect in the brain but I want to learn about ancient cultures but I want to learn about history of art but I want to learn about religions but I want to learn about architecture but I want to learn about philosophy but I want to learn about quantum mechanics but I want to learn about cosmology but I want to learn about the brain.
LA GRANDE BELLEZZA | CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
reading books during the day in a private garden
debating with academic friends in the evenings
speaking Italian
being surrounded by art
being young and old at the same time
My life goal is the combined aesthetic from “call me by your name” and “la grande bellezza”.
Listening to classical music while driving in the rain is another level of metaphysical pleasure.
THE RAVEN CYCLE
It seems so unusual that people in Henrietta and the whole Aglionby knows that Gansey is obsessed with Glendower.
But when I was in high school we had classes on history of art and when Van Gogh was the topic my friends said “hey look it’s your boyfriend”.
What I’m trying to say is I’m Gansey.
THE RAVEN CYCLE
Many people talk about how they love Adam Parrish but I just wanna say: I absolutely love Gansey.
He’s like the greatest nerd and the biggest dork you can think of. He’s 17 and 50 at the same time. His personal style is horrible. His friends are magical creatures/trees/dead/200 years old professors/Henry Cheng.
He has notebooks full of useless stuff. He lives in an era of smartphones and still makes handwritten notes and snippets of newspapers. He built a miniaturized Henrietta - no normal person would do that.
He had one wild obsession and was ready to give everything including his life for it.
He drives an unpractical and ugly car just because he feels good with it (it’s like the equivalent of wearing t-shirts with superheroes on them).
He’s just such a nerd and I love him for it. And for the fact that he doesn’t even hide it. Even the judge is like “hey did you find your dead king?”, the whole school is like “ah yes the Glendower, Gansey’s bf”.
I think the longing for something else, something more is imprinted in our nature. When you learn one thing you constantly want to learn another. You choose your studies and then for years you dream of studying something else. You start a book and all of the sudden you wish you were reading something else. You create your life and then meet a person with completely different vibe and long to be like them.
Is it sad or is it beautiful to always want something else? Is it a curse or a blessing to never settle?
What dark academia gave me:
- Eccentric yet easy to buy, classy yet comfortable style
- Courage to buy the shoes I always liked but never knew how to wear and what to match with - now I use them all the time
- Renewed passion for my studies at the university
- Motivation to read
- Renewed love for the history of art especially the ancient times
- Courage to be eccentric and not to care much what others think of me
- Classical music especially piano pieces
DREAM LIFE
Small apartment with big window. Bookshelf taking up a whole wall. A laptop on the table with doctoral dissertation in progress. Big wine glasses and cups with impressionist paintings on them. Lot of plants. Golden light every afternoon. Small gatherings of smart people, philosophers, writers and scientists. Nights alone smoking on the balcony overlooking the city. Going to work every morning. Walking barefoot on the carpet. Reading books on the couch and flipping through magazines in bed.
“Untitled” by Fiona, posted to Tumblr on May 21. 2014
No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai
