Jenny hadn’t stopped sending me her sexy pics. Another white college bunny who had turned into a black cock addict. Her poor white boyfriend must had been wondering why he hadn’t been getting any action lately.
“Where were you guys?” I asked my wife. I lost her in the crowd at a frat party we were at. “I couldn’t see you anywhere.”
“Oh Mikey, the big man on campus,” My wife responded. “He was giving me the grand tour of the frat house. That kid’s gonna be a big asset to the community.”
I have never been a University student. In the Philippines, I chose to study at St. Scholastica’s College instead of going to a University because I heard they had a better music program. When I got here in America, the only option I had was to go study in a community college. Otherwise, I would have totally studied in a University for fiscal reasons.
After 2 and a half years of juggling paths and courses, I got my AA degree and got accepted at Pacific Lutheran University (PLU) as a transfer student. Now I know I have stated multiple times that “music is my dream” and the like, but if the honesty stick was passed on to me, that would be a total lie. In truth, I actually never knew what I wanted. I chose music because I was kind of good at it, and it was the only career I could picture myself doing at that time. But at the back of my mind, I always had that tinge of self doubt and anxiety asking me “Would I regret this in the future? Is this what I really want?”
Don’t get me wrong, I love music. I love playing the piano, and it brings me joy to be able to play pieces I thought I could never do, but I’m just not passionate about it. I never was. I clouded myself with this lie for years thinking that maybe someday I could convince myself that THIS is really what I want. But I can’t lie to myself anymore. I owe it to myself to at least be honest with what I want.
Months ago, in the midst of pursuing my music and nursing path, I realized that I loved doing photography. I would go out of my way to study the techniques to get that right photograph. Youtube, national geographic books, photoblogs, google, you name it. I loved doing it, but I was too scared to pursue it. When my parents saw that I wasn’t into music, they sat me down and asked me what I really wanted. I told them what it was, and they support me with whatever path I want to take. That was when I told PLU that I might not make music as my major, but photography instead.
I haven’t declared a Major right now, but I will be taking both art and music classes this Fall. I have worked and built a path for my music career all my life, and suddenly I’m taking a detour at something I haven’t worked hard as much as I did in music. I most likely would choose photography over music, but nothing is set in stone. I’m just happy that my conscience is clear on this one, and I am at least one and a half step closer to my destination–wherever that may be.
I’m back and ready to be active on here again! Last semester my life got in the way and it was a struggle to keep up with posts and notes but this semester is already going much better! Taking Analytic/Quantitative Chemistry, Organic Chemistry, and Survey of Life Bio (part I of III). A full course load while still working 40 hours a week! Hopefully restarting this challenge will keep me on track, especially over the weekend!
A late night of last minute revision and an excessive amount of energy drinks in, I asked my friend how he was feeling about the upcoming exam. I’ll never forget his response:
“My mind is a vast ocean, filled with nothing but sweet fuck all”.
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