During my time away from Tumblr, I watched all of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and made the incredible discovery that one of the main villain’s musical themes, DIO’s “Dark Rebirth” from Pt. 3 (“Stardust Crusaders”) is an extremely close match to one of the intermezzos from Tchaikovsky’s Oprichnik.
TheOprichnikintermezzo is situated between the final scene of Act II, in which the protagonist Andrei swears a dread oath to serve in tsar Ivan the Terrible’s personal guard, and the opening scene of Act III, in which the people of Moscow lament the hard times that have befallen them since the tsar went into (implicitly homoerotic) seclusion with his personal guard. The tsar never appears onstage in the opera, but exists as an ominous, all-powerful, sexually deviant/threatening force controlling the fates of the characters from just out of sight. Exactly like DIO in most of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 3 (“Stardust Crusaders”) .
It’s also worth noting that composers for films and especially for cartoons have been borrowing melodies from Tchaikovsky since the very beginning.
So, even though I started watching this anime as a BREAK FROM MY ACADEMIC INTERESTS, I ended RIGHT BACK UP IN MY BULLSHIT ANYWAY
Boulez: Fight that fucker. Normally you’d have nearly a 50/50 chance of winning, but with all the pent up hatred all of us secretly have for him, the stress hormones should make it easy for you! His music just… idk, it sounds punchable. Do. It.
Cage: Don’t do it. DON’T. Even though you’ll probably win, the emotional toll it will have on you will be humongous. You’ll slap him, he’ll cry, you’ll cry, and your life will be much sadder knowing that you made Cage cry. I suggest a friendly hug instead!
Eastman: Do NOT. You will not survive. He will roundhouse kick you, bite off your nuts, feed you to the wild animals, and make soup with your bones. Attempting to fight him is a deathwish.
Ligeti: It really depends. If you wanted to brute force through the fight, sure! Go ahead, piece of cake! Fight him! But if you wanted to tire him out first, 8/10 times Ligeti wins. Way too mentally strong for the average fighter. Full of stamina. Don’t.
Messiaen: Bird people are sensitive. He fought in a war but i don’t think that’s important in this particular case, since he is a bird person. Just punch a bird, and then punch Messiaen when he’s crying on the ground! Easy win.
Penderecki: Do not fight him. I do not have a reason for this, it just seems like a bad idea.
Rautavaara: I don’t think that it’ll be too hard to fight him. If he’s as bland of a fighter as his life was bland, punching Rautavaara is a great idea! Plus, bird person tactic applies here too, so that’s an extra perk of fighting him.
Schnittke: I mean… It’d be easy, you’d pulverize him in a couple punches, but… Why would you? Punching a paralyzed guy doesn’t sound very nice of you. Fight him, but only if you have no honor.
Xenakis: DO. NOT. I repeat, DON’T FIGHT HIM. First off, he’s a hardened war veteran, probably knows a couple ways to kill you with only his pinky finger. Secondly, he’s such a math nerd. Xenakis would probably calculate the exact velocity of your punches and dodge them in a split second. Don’t fight.
