#cozycore
It’s mid-summer. It just rained, and the days have been long and about 90 degrees.
But it just started raining down golden leaves for a solid fifteen seconds out of nowhere.
I- did my current embroidery project accidentally summon the autumn??
Oh-
oh no-
Today is one of those days where I just can’t seem to get moving. I’m just…tired.
Tired of being so stressed out. Tired because I get so anxious every year leading up to my birthday. Tired of not being able to sleep, or sleeping way to much. Tired of binging followed by days of not eating anything. Tired of feeling so inexplicably irritated by every inconvenience because of how many have stacked up over the course of years. Tired of the nightmares and the negative thoughts and the endless struggle to find the energy to do what needs done.
~
On days like this, it’s important for me to step back from my own life. Sometimes I stop being able to see everything while standing in the middle of the storm. When I move away from it— maybe I take some time to listen to lofi and chill out, or do some journaling or house chores while mom isn’t home and I can think, or go take a long walk by myself— I have a chance to look at the world for what it is.
Yes, things are tough right now. Yeah, I wasn’t dealt the best hand in life leading up to this point. I’m covered in scars both inside and out and don’t get how to act or respond to most situations.
But I’m still so young!I’ve got so much more living to do. Things to see. Stuff to experience! I’m nowhere near the end of my journey. Hell, I’ve barely just begun.
I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things. A tiny bolt holding other gears in place. Sometimes that frustrates me and makes me flustered, thinking I can’t ever reach my goals due to my setbacks. And yet, if I, that little bolt holding things together were to disappear, so many other things far beyond me would fall apart.
Yeah, I’m humble in my existence because I am not a driving force of this world. But I am still a part of everything here. Connected to it, moving with its time, and woven into so many crossroads that affect everything else.
Every person I meet, I step into their lives, if only by briefly passing by them on the street. Every choice I make, I affect something else, even if only to influence my next move. Every experience I have, whether good or bad, spills ink onto the painting that is my life and draws another line in the image until my world is full of color and an infinite amount of intersecting stories.
~
This world is not just built by those with power. It’s not just influenced by people how’ve made a major, mainstream difference. Everyone, including you and me, are a part of this world. The massive web of fate, weaving through the tales of our lives isn’t made to lock us in place, but to remind us that we are a part of it. We have a place in it, and no matter which role we choose to play, this place is still our home.
It’s okay for me to have bad days, to get angry and lose my cool for a while. It’s okay for me to take the bad with the good and learn from that. It’s okay for me to struggle and break and heal and grow. It’s okay for me to exist and dream of something more for myself and others.
Because even if I don’t accomplish those dreams, I dreamt them. Even if I don’t complete what I start building, I introduced it to the world. Even if I don’t convince everyone, I inspired someone who will inspire someone else.
And when I remember that, I don’t feel so tired anymore.
Alright everyone, time to party to our hearts content while we still can before everyone miraculously forgets that the LGBTQA+ community exists along with all of the history and important, controversial discussions that will inevitably leave with it due to it becoming less profitable to advertise during the other 11 months of the year.
Self-Love Ritual
One of my absolute, most favorite things to do is to take a long, relaxing bath! And due to the calming, healing, and cleansing properties of that activity, it also doubles as a perfect space for self-love spells and rituals!
Today, I’ll be going over how to set up your own bath-time, self-love ritual that will suit your own personal needs and tastes. So let’s jump right in!
(more…)
I have once again located my old antique paper fan, my amethyst vial, and my tiny music box; all of which have left me quite delighted!
This, as a result of slowly pouring over my belongings as I slowly and lovingly read each and every book I own, watch every movie, play every game, try on every article of clothing, and adore every single object one-by-one!
Then, and only then, will I be able to make the decision of allowing it to stay or letting it go. Personally, I do this cleansing practice every three or four years. It’s crazy how much can change in such a small amount of time!
Out with the old, yet the memories stay.
The clutter discarded, the important remains.
Each item I marvel with curious hands
is to stay or to go, based on my commands.
Should it no longer serve me and impede my path,
I’ll cast it aside without looking back.
For what smothers the hearth also muddles the mind
and those prices add up ‘til they become a bind.
The sky very suddenly turned yellow. Now everything outside is tinted yellow. It’s quite pretty with all the mellow rain.
Finally there’s a cool, rainy day here where I live! This summer has been so hot already, and there’s still two months left. Personally, I love every season for different reasons, but even still, I miss the cool weather where the days pass so sweetly.
Currently, I’m crocheting a headband to send to my niece for her birthday while listening to lofi tracks. The house is quiet for once, the mood mellow. If only everyday could be so gentle.
the smell of the wind, rain, and earth all at once is so overwhelmingly calm and gives me so much serotonin it’s unimaginable
Fresh spring mornings in a countryside cottage.
Nature does not hurry and yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
My sunflowers have been growing in well!
good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil……….
i have no idea whether bobbing the tea bag up and down actually does anything but it’s nice to feel like i’m contributing in some way
