I know that Bungou Stray Dogs WAN! is a series of shorts that’s supposed to be just fun… or nice… or cute (and it is)

Dazai: “If I had to go, I’d like to go out just as beautifully.”

But this scene (from episode 10) made me cry.

Dazai might have said that out of his suicidal nature, or as a joke, or to be poetic but with his expression; he seemed happy and sad in that moment. I know he is happy to be with his friends, the Armed Detective Agency…

But maybe there’s still a part of him that wished he could be with Oda, to share that summer evening with him, watch the fireworks with everyone.

If Oda was still alive, they’d be partners and be on the good side. Saving lives and helping people. And be happy.

Maybe he remembered how Odasaku had to go...As the sun sets in the last moments of Oda’s life, he helped Dazai choose a different path and be on the good side.

Isn’t that a beautiful way to go?

Just a little something to help you remember…

MafiaDazai Osamu

.・。.・゜✭・ reblog or like if you’re gonna use ・✫・゜・。.

Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi: *all on the phone together*

Dazai: *putting his mouth next to his mic and blowing air into when he speaks*

Chuuya, wearing headphones: stop breathing oh my god

*their twitters immediately after*

Dazai: Everytime I say something about killing myself Atsushi tells me to stop.

Chuuya: That’s funny cause I just tell you to do it.

Port Mafia best boy ✨

Cute

Aku: don’t leave me again Dazai-san (;-;)

Chuuya: *being the mom

Dazai: (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)～

Dazai x reader

“Heart burns from lack of nostalgia.”

There was dust, a distinct smell of blood and silence.

I could feel my ears ringing and hands barely shaking.

“Where am I?”- I whisper, looking around but the dust was yet the main enemy to my eyes.

There is a distant voice, calling someone.

”Y/n!”- it begins to grow closer and closer. I try to ignore it and notice bloody scars all over my body.

”What the hell happened to me?”

”Y/n! - A tall figure stands in front of me. All of a sudden, my eyes opened wide to see, since the silhouette running was so familiar. - You‘re alive!”

Before I could even analyse his face, he hugs me so tightly, I almost lost my breath.

“I knew you were alive. I just knew it.”- His voice shaking and his hands trembling, I feel his face on the tip of my neck, embracing me whilst gently patting my head. I close my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and asking myself.

“Who is he?”

After breaking the hug, he looks into my eyes and smile. Unknowingly, I smile back whilst he reaches to hold my hand. Once our fingers intertwined, I felt something I had never felt before. I wanted to know…

”Who… who are you?”- I ask and the eyes that were filled with joy broke down in front of me like a broken mirror. He laughed a bit in disbelief, then murmured:

”Are you… are you being serious right know?”- He caresses my chin and raises his hand to put strands of hair behind my ear.

“I feel like I know you. - I say as I make an attempt to get up but immediately fell into this stranger‘s arms, which, for some reason, were already prepared to catch me. - Do I know you?”

“I don’t know… how do you feel right now?”- he asks not breaking eye contact.

“I feel like, you’re… - I hesitate but, after I notice our wrists that had matching bracelets, I had certainly a conclusion. - I feel like you’re important to me.”

”You… really don’t remember who I am?”- there is anxiety in his voice. The gorgeous brunette bites his lip and pushes his hair back.

”I’m Dazai. Osamu Dazai. - he tries to contain the distinct worried expression while taking off his coat and observing my scars. - Here. Sit for a bit.”

This Dazai lays his coat on the ground and I sit down, whilst his eyes run over my body.
“All these injures… did you use your ability?”- he asks.

”What ability?”- I reply, confused.

“Never mind. - Dazai sighs. - You really don’t remember anything?”

I shake my head and notice his disappointment. However, he focused on closing some of my scars, implying some sort of liquid he had with him.

“You told me your name but you didn’t tell me who am I to you? Or rather, who are you to me?”- I ask lowering my head, avoiding eye contact.

Suddenly, he smiles and answers.

”You already know what I am to you. My girlfriend is smarter than she seems.”

I gulp and feel my cheeks turn bloody red.

He glances a few times and chuckle.
“Its been a while since you‘ve blushed like this around me.“- Dazai finishes taking care of my wounds but his words made me blush even harder.
“This won’t last long, we have to go to a hospital.”- he helps me up and puts his arm on me. Helping me to walk, smiling sweetly from time to time, I could tell he was trying to hide how worried he was.

”Are you worried about me, Dazai?”- I ask, a bit flattered. I just couldn’t believe I was his girlfriend. I mean, look at him. I‘m not even decent enough to be seen by those beautiful eyes of his, making me imitate his every movement. It is easy to get lost in his voice and his sound of laughter. I am not questioning why I fell for him, I’m just wondering, why he fell for me?

”Of course not, love. - he assures me.- you’re going to be alright. I’m sure there is a reason why you don’t remember anything, or me…”

Then, we went silent. It was apparent that Dazai was lost in thoughts and I could not understand what he might be thinking. However, I can’t help but ask.

“How did you fall for me, Dazai?”- I ask, this time looking straight into his brown orbs that made me feel like I belonged.
“Why this question all of a sudden?”- he smirks and I look away, messing up my words.

“I, Uhm, thought it would help, recalling things.”

He smiles and says: “We met a year ago when you were drunk and broke into my apartment. That’s when I knew you were the one.”

”W-what?”- I did not know how to feel about that statement.

“Just kidding. - he laughs and I sigh with relief. - Now that i’m thinking about it, it was more fate than anything. You, love, are a secret agent of the government. That has always been your occupation, whilst I… was part of the mafia.”

I widen my eyes and he continues.

”I never told you this because I didn’t want to boost your ego but, when we first met, you were a captive of the mafia and you were so headstrong that any question asked from my people was strongly ignored. However, I happened to grow fond of you almost immediately.”

”Really?”- I ask excited.
“Mhm. - Dazai nods and smiles, shifting his eyes to the sky.- I guess you too liked me a lot since you saved me countless times, but you never admitted it to me though. But I could easily tell you liked me. It’s always your blushing that gives you away, dear.”

My God. This man.

A silenced wind blew us from behind, making us come closer to each other’s embrace. My arms rest on his chest while his hands hold my waist.

“Y/n, please remember how much I love you, please.”- He whispers as he leans in closer, staring down to my lips.

“Perhaps, a kiss could help.”- I lean in, giving Dazai a kiss that could never be forgotten, even though right now, all I could remember was my occupation. But, his touch enlightened me memories that wanted to come to life. I was so close to remembering, so close.

“So, you fell in love with me all over again? Is this a fairytale or something?”- he says after breaking the kiss and caressing my lips.
“You‘re a fairytale, Dazai. I believe I don’t need any memories to know that I love you dearly.”

For some reason, Dazai was touched from my words, I knew from his trembling hands and almost watery eyes.

“We will bring your memory back, love. - He places a kiss on my forehead. - I promise.”

Dazai and I kept walking, glancing at each other, laughing and telling stories. He was funny, smart and so cute. He was, what I have always wanted, and I couldn’t believe that myself had found such an incredible human being.

How could I forget someone like him?

—BSD LAYOUT !!!

文豪ストレイドッグスは最高のアニメです !! ☆

Don’t be Reckless | Dazai x Reader|

Pairing: Osamu Dazai x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Summary:You have been paired up with Osamu Dazai to smoke out drug dealers but things quickly take a turn for the worst and Dazai is injured.

Warnings:FLUFF, so nothing hectic but it does get a little steamy in the end. Mild Swearing.

Word Count: 2931

A/N:This took long to write and it is a lot longer than my usual work but it is cute and I feel very alone now. Also to those who write Dazai, how do you do it??

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A drug bust. A simple drug bust.

A group of thugs were illegally selling the stuff to some of the local gangs and it is being redistributed to some of the high school and college kids around the area.

Find them. Find the Stash. Arrest them. Confiscate the stash. No more drugs circulating around schools.

It’s honestly a small request for the agency which often deals in much larger cases so you were nominated to investigate it. You’re relatively new and the experience would be really good for you.

Thus, you were paired with Osamu Dazai. According to Kunikida, he could use the fresh air.

You spare a glance out the window and take note of the setting sun. The light casts deep dancing shadows across the walls. The air feels cold and wet as you take careful steps across the damp bricks. You and Dazai had left the Agency in the early morning and it’s already rapidly approaching evening. Ranpo said we’d be finished by lunch.

A simple Drug Bust. What a joke.

You pad lightly down the dingy hallway. Each deliberate step is cushioned by the moss that appears to have rooted itself on the bricks. The stench is suffocating at best. Dazai had gone off on his own as soon as you stepped inside the dilapidated building. He didn’t explain much, just said that he was going left and you should go right, and that you needed to wait by the east wing. Then he sauntered off leaving you alone.

Asshole

You come across a fork and debate if you should turn left or right. Two pairs of footsteps sound off at the end of the hall on the left. Two people. One pair sounds heavy and reverberates against the walls while the second almost scuffles along with the first. You reach for the gun at your belt. The weight of it resting against your hand gives you a feeling of comfort.

Two men step out from the end of the hallway. You slink back further and cover yourself in shadows. You hope they are enough to cover you completely. A man with a crew cut has his hand wrapped around the other’s arm as he appears to half lead half drag the man across the floor. You’re too far to make out his expression but the stark white of his face lets you know that he’s absolutely terrified. On closer inspection you can see that his other hand is bent at an odd angle. Perhaps, you and Dazai were not the only ones investigating the place. Assuming that Dazai is actually investigating and not lounging around somewhere while you did all the work.

The man opens a side door and yanks the smaller man into the room before following suit. The world has become deathly still once again. Not a sound to be heard. They’re the first two people you’ve seen since entering this damned place. After a minute of silence you emerge from your corner and creep down the hallway. Dazai’s instructions pop back into your head and you hesitate.

They may kill the cop.

Pushing Dazai’s words to the side, you stride forward and give chase.

___

You slip into the room and crouch behind a broken conveyor belt. You slip the gun off your belt and into your hands. Show time.

“Boss, I found this idiot sneaking ‘round back”, the bigger man says. A man steps out of the shadows dressed in a white lab coat and cocky grin. The ringleader walks forward with an air of arrogance, each step sounds deliberate and confident. He has dark eyes and long shoulder length hair. You can’t help but think he has very handsome foreign features.

“Is he a cop?” the leader asks. The large man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a badge and presents it.

“That’s the second one today”, he frowns as he carefully inspects the badge. His long hair falls in gentle waves around his face as he peers down. He then waves a dismissive hand, a frown gracing his handsome features, “The other one is being pursued as we speak. Once he’s been handled we’ll leave. Gather your men and tell them to inspect the surrounding area.”, he turns his attention to the man kneeling on the ground, “Asahi, was it? Tell me, who did you come with?”

Asahi pauses. “No one”

The leader smirks and waves his hand towards his subordinate who swiftly grab Asahi. Taking his remaining good arm in his hands, he twists it. Asahi cries out. The leader simply smiles coldly before he adjusts his glasses for dramatic effect.

“Who did you come with?”

Your mouth goes dry. Where’s Dazai when you need him? Is he the other cop being pursued? Step in now or wait?

The man in the lab coat begins to circle around Asahi who has said nothing but whimpers in pain instead. The leader steps in front of your hiding place with his back turned towards you, still facing the cop. You make a decision. Dazai isn’t here to help you or hold your hand. You grab onto your gun more firmly, you begin to rise, ready to step out.

The doors at the other end of the room fly open. The swing against the walls with a loud bang and you immediately duck back down. Heart in your throat. Who the fuck? Two men step forward both escorting the same man across the floor. He puts up no fight and simply allows himself to be dragged into the room. Hands tied behind his back. They force him into a kneeling position. However, he remains unbothered as a lazy smile graces his features.

Dazai.

This fucking idiot.

Four men. Two hostages. And You are only equipped with a gun.

“Found the other cop.”

Dazai grins, “I’m not a cop.”

Like they care

The man in the lab coat steps forward, ignoring Asahi who’s still kneeling in the other man’s hold and instead approaches Dazai. Dazai’s posture is calm as he lazily scans his environment. His eyes briefly roam over your position.

He says, “I believe I’ve arrived just in time.”

You clutch your gun tighter. Dazai never discussed anything beforehand and you can only think that surely none of this is going right.

An explosion sounds off in the distance and the building shakes. Dazai makes a face of confusion but the glint in his eyes speaks of mischief, “That is exceedingly unusual.”

A smile curls over your lips. Guess he wasn’t lazing around after all. The man in the coat finally drops his cocky grin. All traces of arrogance vanishes. He turns to his subordinates. “Go! Move! Find whatever worms have stumbled across our hideout. Kill anyone you don’t recognize. Take whatever leftover stock you can find and leave”, he shouts.

He spins towards the man still holding the cop, who’s gone completely white from fright. “Not you. You’re going to get me out of here safely. You can dispose of the two cops.”

The man nods and reaches into his jacket. Absolutely not. Somehow having Dazai in the room fuels you with confidence. You waste no time before you spring out of your hiding place. You charge towards the larger man who pauses in surprise as you suddenly rush in front of him. Before he can equip his gun you slam yours into his temple. He stumbles backwards but gathers himself quickly. He charges forward but every painstaking lesson with Fukuzawa flashes before your eyes. Before anyone can react the man has already landed heavily on his back, hands cuffed together.

“Now who the fuck are you?”

You turn towards the man in the lab coat. The boss no longer looks as in control as he did a few minutes ago. He pulls out a gun and points it towards Dazai who narrows his eyes at him before he flashes you a look of warning.

“How many of you are there?!” He demands.

You look around you and pull a face of mock concentration. “I believe there’s three of us here.”

“FUCK YOU!” He takes a step towards Dazai and jams the gun into the back of Dazai’s head. The gun in your own hands feels heavier.

“How many are you?”, he says, voice like steel.

“Drop your gun and I’ll tell you.”

“Only if you drop yours first. Or would you like to see who has the faster trigger finger.?”

You, would in fact, not like to find out. Your earlier confidence begins to fade away. You drop your gun on the floor. He doesn’t budge and simply glares at you and then the gun. You understand and kick the gun forward, far enough so that it’s out of your reach. The man smiles in a way that makes you feel as though he is unhinged. Perhaps, he is.

He steps away from Dazai and towards your gun. He kicks it away so that it clatters against one of the pieces of old equipment. Suddenly, Dazai who has been complacent this whole time stands up and rushes towards him. The ropes around his wrist seem to have disappeared. He leaps forward and the man spins around and fires off gunshots, maybe eight? Panic seizes you and you let out a cry of panic as you spring forward. The leader turns to you with wild eyes but only empty clicks sound from his gun. You immediately grab him and force him to the ground. You hastily cuff him before looking up for Dazai.

“Dazai!” you shout. You leave the man on the ground and run towards him. Dazai stands casually with a smile on his face but his right hand touches his shoulder.

“That was close”, he comments drily as he moves his hand away and inspects the blood. “Just a scratch.”

He grins at you and then walks towards the cop on the floor. “I imagine you arrived alone. Not a very smart move on your part.”

Asahi nods, “Thank You, I’ll call back up and arrest them.”

Dazai turns away from him and heads for the door, “No need. I’ve already called in my own back up. Y/n, Kunikida arrived on scene roughly five minutes ago with Tanizaki and Atsushi.”

You nod silently. He’s acting so calm. And true to his word, the others had shown up with the police in tow. The situation was neatly resolved and you handed over your findings to them. By the time the whole situation was completely resolved, night had descended onto Yokohama and the breeze was chilling.

____________________

“Dazai, what was that?” you ask.

Both of you had left earlier than the others and had met up at the agency. The clock steadily ticks towards 10pm. Your movements feel sluggish but you are wide awake. The events flash behind your eyes on loop. The repetitive gunshots firing in your ears. Dazai looks over at you with a confused look. “A drug bust?”

“Not that, why did you run at him? He had a gun in his hand, he could’ve killed you. Heck, you already got injured. Why would you suddenly rush him like that?”

Dazai simply shrugged. “I knew he wasn’t going to actually hit anything fatal. He could barely hold the gun properly. He wouldn’t have killed me even if I was standing right in front of him with a target between my eyes”

“Don’t be reckless, Dazai.”

“Speaking of “reckless”, why were you there?” I told you to head to the east side of the building and yet you were prancing about the headquarters right into his hands. Romanoff is a dangerous man, he would’ve killed you immediately. Also, I do believe you charged a villain with a gun today.”

Romanoff? Where was this information earlier?

“Nothing even happened on the east side, no one was there, why does it even matter. And don’t you dare compare what you did to what I did. The difference, Dazai, is that that man didn’t have his gun in his hand yet and I did. The difference is also that Yosano can heal whatever injury I walk out with while her gift will never work on you.”

“She can’t fix a corpse”, he seethes at you. You pause. Your face has gone completely red and you can’t believe you’re even arguing with this intolerable man. He’s already been hurt, how much more does he want?

“I wasn’t going to-”, you suddenly pause. Something isn’t adding up.

“Suddenly at a loss of words”, he taunts.

“No”, you eye him carefully. This man is a genius. Out of all your joking and sniping at him, you’ve seen him work. You’ve seen him come up with incredible plans and predict the enemies movement as if they were all nothing but pawns on his chessboard. So why?

“Why did you want me on the east side of the building?” you ask. “When the police were inspecting, there was nothing there. No one was there.”

Dazai says nothing. For a second the only thing that can be heard are your shallow breaths.

“Why did you send me away? Were you going to handle it by yourself?”

Dazai lets out a dry huff of laughter. “You think too much. I thought the ringleader would try and escape that way and then you would’ve been able to catch them off guard.”

You step towards him “But all of the vehicles were on the right, that’s what you blew up.”

“Most leaders will have a second escape route if they’re smart.”

“No one was there, Dazai.”

You walk towards him and he doesn’t move, but only continues to smile with eyes that hide a million little secrets. Perhaps if you stare at them long enough, you will finally unlock hissecrets.

Finally you stand in front of him and reach a hand to grasp the corner of his jacket as he moves back. The material is surprisingly soft in your hands. You stare up at him and his warm eyes meet yours, for once it feels as though a layer of his armour has been stripped away.

“Don’t run away.” you whisper, he’s so close that you fear a harsher sound may break him. That he may recoil once again back into his shell and shut you off again.

He glances away from you and chuckles.

“I’m not made from drywall", you joke lightly, “I can support you, you don’t have to hide me in a corner.”

He doesn’t face you when he responds, “I’m well aware, Little miss detective.”

“I don’t think you are”, you chuckle. You release his coat and reach up to cup his face in your hands. You force him to look at you. Your light smile disappears when you meet his eyes. They are burning. His eyes darken as he watches you, the next layer of armour stripping away when he says, “That was really dangerous, what you did today.”

“Not as dangerous as what you did, I hear they were chasing you all over the place.”

He frowns, “It’s different when I do it.”

“I don’t think so.”

He huffs and leans forward. His ice cold hands reach for you as he cradles your face in his hands. Oddly enough, the cold feels good against your burning cheeks. He brings you closer to him as he leans down towards you.

“You are so frustrating.”

You narrow your eyes at him and playfully frown. “Me? What about you and your vague ass instructions, you know, maybe if you-”

Soft lips press against your own. He steals your breath away along with every last one of your words. His hand that was cradling your face so gently has slipped around your waist as he pushes you flush against him. He’s cold. He’s so cold and you wrap your arms around him. He doesn’t always have to be cold. He doesn’t always have to be alone.

You finally pull away and gasp for air. His eyes burn with intense emotions and he immediately begins kissing your jaw. He nips at your neck before sucking the skin aggressively. His tongue rolls out his mouth as he laps at the area before he moves on to the next. You burn. A shiver runs down your spine and you want him closer. You want to dissolve and drown in him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt like this. His teasing smirks and dry comments have annoyed you to no end and yet he’s here with you against the wall with his long slender finger digging into your hips in the most intoxicating way. You wish for nothing more than for this man to devour you whole. Your hands have tangled into his hair as you tug gently. He groans against your neck and his hand moves further down to grab your thigh rubbing small circles.

“Don’t tease me”, he whispers as his teeth graze your ear.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“Then let me apologize, Belladonna.”

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Guardian Angel |Dazai x Reader|

Pairing:Osamu Dazai x Reader

Summary: Dazai has been weirdly absent from the Agency the whole week. One night, after working late you notice that the light in his room is on. But, he doesn’t seem to be answering you.

Warnings:Mentions of Suicide. Otherwise this is purely a Fluff Fic.

Word Count: 2 011

A/N: This would have been out earlier if it weren’t for two reasons. 1) Dazai is a very complex character to write.( I sincerely hope that I have done him Justice)  2) my computer shut down before posting and nothing was saved. But otherwise Please enjoy!!

Important to note: This occurs between Season 2 and 3. In other words it’s after the Guild arc but before the Cannibalism arc. NO Season 3 Spoilers. 

               ____________________________

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The night air is icy. A chilling breeze swept through the area and brushed across your skin as you walked home from the Agency building. Today, you worked overtime trying to piece together information from your latest case. Unfortunately you’re not as observant as Dazai or Ranpo who simply glance at a crime scene and pull out handcuffs. Speaking of Dazai, he took the day off unannounced, again. In fact, the whole week he’s been mostly absent, more than usual. Kunikida is going to blow a gasket soon.

You walk quickly towards the Agency’s dorms, enjoying the night air but wanting to get inside as soon as possible. The chill is almost unbearable and the breeze feels piercing. You simply can’t wait to curl up in a blanket with a hot cup of hot chocolate. With this idea in mind you pass by the 24/7 market and purchase two muffins for yourself. With the late night treats in hand you head home and before you know it you’re ready to climb the stairs of the dorms to get to your room. But, suddenly you pause. You take a step back and look down the row of rooms to the very thing that has caught your eye. The last room had a bit of light peeking out of the window. It belongs to Dazai.

You haven’t seen him for most of the week and seeing him up so late is somewhat surprising. Although, it’s not the fact that he’s awake but rather that he’s there at all. Dazai has been like a ghost the past week, impossible to get a hold of and almost nonexistent. Often, his disappearing act results in no one able to find him at all but he’s right over there.

You turn on your heel and head towards the door. What are you going to say? What’s the plan of action? God knows. You just want to see him. Perhaps you could just ask where he’s been the whole week? The week has been impossibly dull without him. Having Dazai at the office normally creates it’s own firework show with his firecracker personality, but he’s surprisingly dependable and you’ve missed him greatly.

You knock on the door twice. Two quick raps that feel deafening in the late night.

Silence.

Not a peak behind the door. You knock again and call out, “Dazai, it’s me.”

Nothing greets you back. 

Perhaps, if you were Kunikida you could understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to you but you genuinely feel as though you’ve become close. He’s almost always goofing around but you’ve worked a few cases with him and are awed by his intelligence and the recent intervention with the Guild unearthed a lot of his past. You feel as though you’ve finally seen how complex he truly is. Finding out that he was once part of the Port Mafia was surprising but it also explained a lot of his actions. He revealed a lot to the agency with the air of nonchalance but you knew that it probably didn’t sit comfortably with him to dig up old unpleasant memories. Back then, you’d felt as though a lot of missing puzzle pieces had finally fallen in front of you.

“So… the Port Mafia huh?” you had called out to him. You were alone at the time, both sorting through case files in the office. The words came up because you were curious, no one else had quite spoken to him about it.

“Ahhhh, I can tell you many stories if you like, but I am afraid that they are not very pleasant to the ear.”

You smile at him and shake your head. He seems to have misunderstood your intentions.

 “No, that’s not it, I’m just thinking that it makes sense in a weird way. You were never someone they just picked off the street.”, you said and turned to face him. “It’s okay Dazai, truthfully, your past doesn’t matter all that much as long as you’re here looking at a better future.”

He had said nothing, and you didn’t push for him to say anything at all either. You had simply worked in silence until the others had returned. The words were simple but you felt that it needed to be said. You cannot imagine what it must feel like to have a messy past but truly the Agency members would never hold it against him. You felt the need to reassure him.

Your relationship together had always been full of witty banter and flirty comments but after the ordeal, you felt as though he’s become more genuine and open with you. You two, like peas in a pod when working on a case, able to silently communicate and send meaningful glances at one another. Many times you thought to yourself that you would both divulge in a private romance.

 But, he always seems to draw away from you at the last second.

Now you stand in front of his door met by absolute silence and you’re feeling somewhat frantic. You look down at your purchased treats and try a different tactic.

“I have Muffins.”

I’m literally putting my food on the line you asshole, you think to yourself. Let me in, it’s freezing.

After another few minutes of silence, he still hasn’t responded. You have also come to the decision that perhaps the muffins aren’t too great a loss anyway. After all, he probably hasn’t been eating. You reach for your bag, wondering if you should attempt to break in with your lock picking kit that you carry around. A precautionary measure. Suddenly, it hits you: Dazai is always going on about suicide this and suicide that. A shiver of fear crawls through you. 

Screw it. He can get mad at you later.

You reach for the door and quickly fiddle with the lock only to find that it’s already unlocked. 

You careless bastard. You better not be dead.

You quickly wing open the door and step inside. You desperately search the room. The room is mostly dark and the only light source is a desk lamp. At the desk, he’s slouched unconscious. A pen loosely sits in his one hand that is propped up slightly, hanging awkwardly over his head. The room is freezing.

You rush forward and reach for him, he’s ice cold. Your heart sinks like a stone. And tears of panic have begun to well up. He wouldn’t do this. He couldn’t possibly.

Please Dazai, don’t leave me.

You’re on the verge of tears when you gently place a hand on the lone bandaged wrist lying on the table and find a very steady pulse, but his hands are still bitterly cold. You swallow down the lump in your throat and realize that he’s simply asleep and simply very cold. You attempt to calm yourself. He’s alive. You take a look at his desk and notice the dozens of sheets of paper, each one covered in his messy handwriting. You pick up one that he isn’t lying on and attempt to decipher it. While most words are hard to make out, you pick out a few key words and notice that it has to do with the Port Mafia. You skim through a different page and are surprised to find a Russian name.

Fyodor Dostoevsky. 

Sleeping in the cold is bad, it will give you nightmares, you think and walk further into his dorm to the cupboard with extra blankets and supplies that’s standard for every living space. You grab a thick blanket and walk back to him. As quietly as you can, you remove the pencil from his hand and place the blanket over his shoulders.

Suddenly, ice cold fingers shoot forward and curl around your wrist as Dazai’s eyes fly open. The atmosphere shifts immediately. Alarm bells ring in your head. Tension floods the room and blazing foggy eyes land on you.  A chill runs down your spine that has nothing to do with the weather. You immediately crouch down to make yourself less threatening as his grip tightens.

“It’s me! It’s me!” you whisper-shouted. The walls are thin in this place and you don’t want to draw attention by shouting but a pained whimper manages to slip out of your mouth. His grip is deadly.

His eyes clear up and he immediately releases your hand. He looks at you sitting on the floor at his side rubbing your wrist with an annoyed expression and then glances at the blanket that had slipped off his shoulders slightly. A look of surprise briefly washes over his face before he reverts back to a seemingly neutral expression.

“What are you doing here?” he asks but lacks the usual tone of mischief that generally accompanies anything he says. As though he’s forgotten to place his invisible mask back onto his face. “Not that I am upset, it is always a pleasure to see you. Although I didn’t expect to find you sneaking around my room.”

His sly expression slowly returns to his face but his eyes still appear to be hazy.
Honestly, he looks rather sexy right now especially with his tousled hair.

“I brought food. Also you weren’t at the Agency today,” you say. “And your door was unlocked, I’ll have you know, that’s very dangerous. A killer could easily sneak in here”

You brush off the awkward atmosphere as smoothly as you can because even you are aware that it’s a bit weird to break into his room at 11 ‘o’ clock at night with food.

He shrugs with an amused smile brushing over his features.

You let out an awkward cough before gesturing to all the papers strewn across his desk.

“What is all this? I’ve never seen you do any actual office work before”, you joke.

“Oh this? It’s nothing. Just wondering where my next suicide attempt should be. Lots of research this time, all I need now is a beautiful fair maiden” He throws you a playful glance towards the end. But, the tone of playful bachelor is ruined by the slur of sleep.

Liar

Dazai has always been receptive to emotions and expressions and you are very much an open book to him. He knows fair and well that you think he’s lying but says nothing more on the subject. You are also a book that can take a hint and so you say nothing on the matter. Seeing how tired he is you decide that it’s probably best to leave. He gets little sleep as it is, judging by the dark circles under his eyes.

“You should sleep, I’ll go now but I brought two muffins. Which one do you want? Chocolate or Blue-”, you stop suddenly and look down at the slender fingers latched around your wrist.

“You don’t have to leave,” he says.

Your heart trips over his words and slams against your chest. His words are sweet like honey. Your breath gets caught in your throat as he gently tugs you towards his desk. Messy hair coupled with his intensely dark eyes following you, has you feeling all kinds of things.

What are you saying to me with such an expression

“Come here.”

He moves the papers to the side and gestures for you to sit on it. You hop onto the desk without much issue.

“I’ve missed you this week,” he smiles mischievously. 

“Maybe you wouldn’t miss me so much if you actually came to work.”

He chuckles slightly at this and you smile. This position feels weirdly intimate, with him so close sitting on the chair while you’re on the desk. The room is somewhat dark and his face is half discarded in the shadows. But his rich brown eyes are bright in the dark. The atmosphere may almost be mistaken as romantic but you quickly push that thought aside. You clear your throat slightly and look away from him terrified that his eyes will swallow you whole. You reach for the bag of food. “Dazai, do you want Chocolate or-”

The feeling of two cold arms wrapping around your waist cuts you off. Surprised, you glance back at him to find that he’s much closer than before. He rests his head in your lap. He nuzzles your thigh. Your face flushes red.

“Y/N, you are right, I am much too tired ,” he mumbles and almost as an afterthought he adds, “ and cold. Just stay here for a little bit longer.” His head sits heavy and unmoving in your lap, turned to the side, facing away from the light of the desk lamp. His eyelids flutter shut and the blanket seems to fall even further down his shoulders.

“Wake me up in 30 minutes.”

He says nothing else and appears to drift off into a deep sleep. You reach for the blanket as slowly as you can without disturbing him you readjust it to cover him completely with only his head sticking out as he rests peacefully in your lap.

“Okay,” you whisper.

Your hand reaches for his head and ever so softly, it brushes against the tips of his hair. You become more bold, confident that he is sleeping based on his shallow, even breaths. Lightly, you begin to sift through his hair, playing with the strands and caressing his head. You allow the soft strands of his hair to slip through your fingers with each stroke. His hair is smooth to the touch and has a pleasant feel. As you continue gently caressing his head, you look around again at the sheets of paper. Each one is covered in messy handwriting and arrows linking seemingly random bits of information.

You’ve been playing detective with Dazai for a long enough time to know that he’s planning something and suddenly the boy in your arms feels even more precious to you. Because in this moment you understand that a storm is brewing on the horizon and he’s possibly the only one who can smell the scent of rain on the wind. He is carrying a burden alone. He is placing the safety of the Agency above his own and your heart warms towards him.

You look down at the exhausted man.

He was once the Devil’s prodigy but now he is the Agency’s Guardian Angel.

_____

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