#ed probz

I got a stomach virus and that shit was (it honestly still is) beating me up. However I did lose 12 pounds in 5 days but honestly idk if I can even really be happy about that right now cause I’m SUFFERING.

I’m honestly really tired of this. I just want to reach my ugw and recover. I want to be normal and be able to enjoy things that people my age should be enjoying. Going to the movies with friends and actually being able to eat there. Eating dinner with my family. Going shopping and actually finding nice clothes. When I reach my ugw I’ll be able to do all the things I long for. It’s never really been about looking pretty or getting a s/o for me. I just want to love my body and wear all the clothes I want without having to worry about getting unwanted attention or looking fat. I’ve never been really sad or depressed while having my ED and I’ve been able to overcome my sh. I just want to enjoy my high school life and hopefully within a year I’ll reach my ugw and overcome this part of my life that is holding me back from really enjoying my life.

I bought “Chinese” food to binge on since it binge day and tell me why I ate ¼ of it and got full. WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I CAN EAT THE FOOD IM NOT HUNGRY BUT WHEN I CANT MY STOMACH IS DOING THE CHA CHA SLIDE. This is bs. I’m mad now because I bought ice cream and I can’t even eat it now. Well maybe that’s good, maybe my stomach shrunk. IM STILL PISSED THO.

failed on ana’s secret :/ i’m really mad at myself but here’s my info for today

sooo first post :)) my other account got reported :/

i’m doing the ana’s secret diet and day one has been a success so far and i walked 10,000 steps

Not listening to uplifting songs because you don’t think they apply to you.