myurbandream:

heckofabecca:

shirosredknight:

boogiewoogiebuglegal:

cricketcat9:

topsecretespeonage:

neurofancier:

khirsahle:

newtsckamander:

suaimhneas-peace:

emeraldboreas:

a-windsor:

mellivorinae:

a-windsor:

mellivorinae:

OH MY GOD whyyyy did no one tell me you’re supposed to send thank-yous after interviews?? Why would I do that???

“Thank you for this incredibly stressful 30 minutes that I have had to re-structure my entire day around and which will give me anxiety poos for the next 24 hours.”

I HATE ETIQUETTE IT’S THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE THING FOR ME TO LEARN WITHOUT SOMEONE DIRECTLY TELLING ME THIS SHIT

NO ONE TOLD YOU???? WTF! I HAVE FAILED YOU. Also: Dear ______: Thank you so much for the opportunity to sit down with you (&________) to discuss the [insert job position]. I am grateful to be considered for the position. I think I will be a great fit at [company name], especially given my experience in __________. [insert possible reference to something you talked about, something that excited you.] I look forward to hearing from you [and if you are feeling super confident: and working together in the future]. Sincerely, @mellivorinae

THIS IS A LIFESAVING TEMPLATE

YOU ARE WELCOME

My brother got a really great paid internship one summer. The guy who hired him said the deciding factor was the professional thank you letter my brother sent after the interview.

should it be an email? or like a physical letter?

email, you want to send it within a few hours at max after the interview if you can so it’s fresh in their mind who you are. 

Confirmed! I interviewed for a job right after arriving in NY. The interview went incredibly well, and I went home and immediately wrote a thank you letter and put it in the mail. I had a super good feeling about this interview.

I didn’t get the job.

However, a few weeks later, I was called in to interview with another editor in the same company, and I did get that job. I found out later from the initial editor (the one who didn’t hire me) that he had planned to offer me the job, but since I didn’t follow up with a thank you letter, he assumed I didn’t really want it. He offered the job to another contender–but when he got my letter in the mail shortly after the offer had already been made, he went to HR and gave me a glowing recommendation. It was based on that recommendation that I got called in for the second interview.

So: send an email thank you immediately (same day!) after the interview. If you’re feeling extra, go ahead and send a written one too. OR go immediately to a coffee shop, write the letter, and return to the office and give it to the secretary.

Either way, those letters are important.

Pro tip: If you really want HR to develop a personal interest in your application, publicly thank them on linkedin. Just make a short post telling your network about how X recruiter really went above and beyond to make you feel welcome, or about how be accommodating and professional they were, or whatever. Make sure to use the mention feature so they’ll get a notification and see it. 

Flattery will get you everywhere… and public flattery that might make its way back to their manager, doubly so.

Obligatory plug for one of FreePrintable.net’s sites: ThankYouLetter.ws. They have a whole section with interview thank you letter templates, and a page with specific tips for interview thank you letters. (There are also tons of other letter templates if you browse around a bit.)

As a former professional recruiter and recruiting manager, I confirm, especially for entry-level positions, where you are competing with oodles of people. This little thing can make a difference. Also the fact that, maybe, you took time to google the “interview etiquette”.

SIGNAL BOOST

The post-interview thank you notes can be a good way to recover in case you got asked a question whose answer you either didn’t know or felt was super weak. So if you follow the above given template, jump in with something like “upon further thought to your question, here’s my revised answer.” 

But yeah always send a thank you note after an interview. It’s a small thing but it makes a hell of a difference. And def send thank you messages to any recruiters who may have helped. And also after you get the job. Small things like that really go a long long way.

GO READ ASK A MANAGER RIGHT NOW.

AAM is an AMAZING resource for all work-related questions. This is a good starting place—basically the Big Questions people tend to have. (And some weirdness.) Job searching, negotiating for raises, performance issues, living through toxicity, recognizing toxic situations, dealing with coworkers, managing people, helpful starting-point scripts for all of the above… Do yourself a favor and check it out!

JFC no one ever told me any of this!!!!

An answer to an AskHistorians question about first names in Jane Austen! From the question text: At home, Elizabeth is called ‘Lizzie’ by her family. Her friends and acquaintances (same gender) sometimes call her Miss Elizabeth Bennett, sometimes Miss Eliza Bennett, and in Charlotte’s case, just plain Eliza. Mr Darcy never calls her Elizabeth until he proposes the second time (Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth). I figured that was to do with permissible familiarity. But Elizabeth’s parents never refer to each other by first name. Is that because they’re in the presence of their children, or is it an indication of the (lack of) warmth in their relationship? That’s without even getting into 'Emma’, and the affront around Knightley and Mr E.

I just want to make a bit of a correction - Elizabeth’s family calls her “Lizzy”, and “Eliza”/“Miss Eliza Bennet” are used specifically by the Lucas family, and Caroline Bingley. Mr Darcy’s second proposal, in the original text, is simply:

You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.

First names were highly familiar, and not to be used lightly. To use someone else’s first name was to show that you were extremely close - which didn’t necessarily mean there was a long acquaintance. By the second chapter of Isabella Thorpe’s appearance in Northanger Abbey,

… they passed so rapidly through every gradation of increasing tenderness that there was shortly no fresh proof of it to be given to their friends or themselves. They called each other by their Christian name, were always arm in arm when they walked, pinned up each other’s train for the dance, and were not to be divided in the set; and if a rainy morning deprived them of other enjoyments, they were still resolute in meeting in defiance of dirt and wet, and shut themselves up, to read novels together.

On the other hand, in Pride and Prejudice the Lucases are the Bennets’ closest and long-time associates in the immediate neighborhood, so it makes sense that the families are on close enough footing for the Lucases as a whole to refer to the Bennet daughters by their first names.

However, it was certainly possible to be over-familiar - and many travelogues by English people who’d gone abroad contain a shocked description of how people in America, Spain, Germany, etc. jump so quickly to a first name basis. From this perspective, Caroline Bingley’s use of “Eliza” can be seen as having been likely intended to be presumptuous, highlighting the unpleasantness of her character: she is neither a long acquaintance like Charlotte and Maria Lucas, nor is she abruptly becoming Elizabeth’s best friend.

The rules were slightly different for men. While family members would use their first names (as the Dashwood sisters do for their brother-in-law Edward Ferrars), the “friendship name”, generally just used between two men, was instead the last name - as in Emma, with Mrs. Elton calling Mr Knightley just “Knightley”. Just like Caroline Bingley, she is written as doing this so we can see her presumption - although while Caroline’s presumption is condescending (“see, I can be over-familiar and you can’t do anything about it”), Mrs. Elton is, on the contrary, trying to put herself up on Mr Knightley’s level and show everyone else that she’s on such terms with the preeminent landowner of the area.

“Miss Elizabeth Bennet” is a special case. In a family with multiple sons or daughters, the first would be “Miss Bennet” or “Mr Bennet”, and the younger ones would be “Miss Elizabeth Bennet” or “Mr Charles Bennet”. In direct address, however, a simple “Miss Bennet” or “Mr Bennet” would still be appropriate for a younger daughter or son. The main point of all of this was just for the purpose of clarity - if Jane were to have gotten married early on in the book, for instance, there would have been no need for anyone to refer to Elizabeth’s first name in this kind of title, as she would obviously be the “Miss Bennet”.

As far as married couples go, both first names and Mr/Mrs seem to have been somewhat normalized - neither was actually notable or strange in the period, but yes, would reflect the level of formality/intimacy between the couple, as well as where they are. In Sense and Sensibility, John Dashwood calls his wife “Fanny”, and in Persuasion, Mary calls her husband “Charles”; but as you noted, the Bennets call each other Mr/Mrs, and so do the Palmers in Sense and Sensibility. However, we only really see first-naming between husbands and wives in fairly private settings - in a domestic group, or just between each other. In public, it was not seen as appropriate to be too informal. As a result, the general public wouldn’t know if a couple were not on the closest footing because they would never have been witness to a married couple using their first names.

Transgressions would likely not be punished in a real sense, but would result in negative consequences of the “two red minus signs above the sim’s head” sense. When Caroline calls Elizabeth “Eliza”, it makes Elizabeth dislike her. When Mrs. Elton calls Mr Knightley “Knightley”, she makes the people around her think less of her.

You’ll find more of this kind of Regency etiquette nitpickery in Dandies & Dandyzettes!

Here’s something I have you might like! I got it at a free table at the library and not only is it beautiful to look at but I was surprised to see the inside listing the name of Charles Dana Gibson’s wife. That’s when I knew I should share it, even if it’s not fully Edwardian.

deliciouslydenied:

Detailed list of everything I do for Master……

Image:

1. I work out 60 to 80 minutes a day.  Cardio to keep my body and heart and lungs healthy.  Keep my body in shape.  Stay looking attractive to Master.  Maintain a good shape and be able to fuck Master for hours without losing strength or vigor.  Yoga to make myself flexible. To be able to hold difficult positions for long periods of time.  To teach me how to breathe and remain calm through difficult treatments.  To build muscle.  Learn balance and grace because Master enjoys me graceful.
2. I keep a strict diet.  I make sure that all my needs are met in a healthy way with plenty of protein and vitamins to keep my body strong.  I do not overeat or indulge myself in things that will cause me to gain fat.  My body is Master’s art and it’s my job to make sure it stays just the way he likes it.
3. I shower and make myself up before Master wakes up so he doesn’t have to wake up to a dirty or ugly looking or unkempt submissive.  I wash my hair using premium products. I condition my hair to give it shine and strength.  I get my hair done bi-weekly to keep it looking attractive and healthy.  I style my hair according to Master’s likes.  I wash my body several times over so I will be clean and smelling nice at all times for Master.  I brush my teeth several times a day to keep my teeth healthy and breath fresh.
4. I shave my entire body.  I pluck my eyebrows and keep them shaped.  I debilitate my facial hair as little as it may seem I have.  I shave my armpits almost daily.  I shave my pussy almost daily.  I shave my legs three to four times a week to stay clean and smooth per Master’s likes.  Once a month, I have a Brazilian waxing including my pits and legs.
5. I wear light make up per Master’s likes.  Eyeliner to accentuate and enlarge my eyes. Mascara to give me a more feminine look and elongate my lashes.  A light rouge on my eyelids and cheeks.  Lipstick in feminine colors.   I touch up my make up several times a day.
6. I am naked unless Master wants me dressed.  Master picks my clothes and I wear them with grace and with no concern for myself.  I wear uncomfortable heels as Master enjoys them.  I wear tight and exposing clothes as Master enjoys.  I wear whatever he wishes regardless of weather as his likes are far more important than my discomfort or insecurities. 
   

Domestic:

1. I clean Masters house daily. Mondays- I clean the house from top to bottom including the walls, floorboards, door frames, dusting, mopping, sweeping, scrubbing, laundry, ironing, showers and tubs, toilets scrubbed, floors waxed and polished, windows washed, bedding changed, clean behind and under furniture, oven scrubbed, cabinets wiped down, pantry organized and cleaned out, refrigerator cleaned out and scrubbed, changing out the dining room table cloth, washing the old one, scrubbing the furniture with cleaner, vacuuming the rugs, folding the clean clothes and put away, wiping down all the drawers and organizing them, ironing Masters shirts and pants and hanging them, organizing the bathroom, taking out all the trash from the house, filing papers and organizing the office, and sweeping the front and back porch.  Tuesdays-Saturdays– Maintain and straighten up the house.  Toilet must be washed after every use. Master’s shoes are to be polished and cleaned after each use and I am to polish and shine all his shoes once a week also.  
2. I cook for Master.  Each week, it’s my responsibility to go through the internet for recipes and food Master might like to eat for the week.  It’s my responsibility to learn the recipes and buy all the ingredients needed for the week and to cook the meals to the best of my abilities.  The recipes and food must be healthy and nutritious. Desserts are a must.  It’s my responsibility to know how Master likes his drinks and his food and to prepare them to his liking.
3. I serve Master based on his needs.  I try to anticipate his needs as much as possible. No matter what I’m doing, whether cleaning, cooking, waiting, whatever, if I see Master might need something, I take it upon myself to serve him.  If I see that his tea, water or beer are about ¼ full, I will replenish his drink before he commands it of me.  I feel useless when he needs to tell me he needs something. I have to know his eating schedule so I can plan to prepare his food before he gets too hungry.  I need to know when he needs a snack and prepare his favorite snacks for him.  I live to serve my Master.  Serving him gives me purpose and meaning.  Keeping him happy makes my life feel complete and full of joy.  When I notice Master is getting hard, it means he is feeling horny and I will offer myself for his pleasure and thank him for allowing me to make him happy.
4. It’s my responsibility to tend the garden outside.  I will water, weed, and care for all our plants and vegetables.  I am relieved of this during the winter months.  

Sexually:

1. I will serve Master sexually anytime he needs it.  I will try to anticipate his need whenever possible and offer myself for his pleasure when I can.  I will do this regardless of where we are or what we’re doing.
2. I will play any fetish game Master wishes to play.  Petplay, age play, BDSM, bondage, human furniture, etc… no matter what he feels like, I will surrender my own wishes for his.  
3. I understand that my pleasure will only be given as a reward for excellent service and at Master’s will.  I understand that Master enjoys me more when I am hungry for him and starving for sex.  I understand that it’s my responsibility to stay wet and ready and horny at all times for Master.  This means I am to keep myself edged and horny on a constant basis.  Master knows my limits and he will give me a reward when I have properly earned it and satisfied him completely.  An orgasm for myself is a major gift and it should be cherished as it is a rarity.  I will not beg for my own pleasure. I may ask permission to cum when Master is using my pussy for his pleasure.  But I understand that, most likely, it will be denied. I will still thank Master for the denial and allowing me to please him.  
4. All three of my pleasure holes are fair game for Master’s use.  I will never deny him access to my holes.  I understand that, most times, I will have to do all the work to please him.  I must lick and suck his cock and balls clean after each use.  I thank Master for allowing me to pleasure him using my holes.  My hands may also be used from time to time.

Public Image:

1. When going out into public or with friends that don’t know our lifestyle, I am to present myself with class and dignity.  I will not judge anybody.  I will be kind and sweet and submissive.  I am to smile as much as possible and be extra friendly to those he introduces me to.  I am not allowed to use foul language or talk bad about anybody.  My presentation is a reflection of Master and it would be a disgrace to embarrass him in front of others.  I am to act humble and nice and respectful to all.
2. When going out with the few friends that do know about our lifestyle, I am to behave submissively and contently.  I am to serve Master as if we are at home without question and without concern for my own dignity.
3. At times we go out together as a couple, I may act normally.  I am to let loose and be myself.  I am not restricted to language or anything.  But I am to respect Master above all and when he tells me to do something different, I must change my attitude immediately.
4. When picking clothes for public, Master has set rules for how I do so.  When I’m going shopping or to run errands alone, I am allowed no more than three items of clothing.  Shoes count as one of those items.  Shorts and pants are not allowed unless specifically said so by Master.  Underwear also counts as clothing.  During my period, I am allowed panties which will also count as an item of clothing forcing me to wear a dress.  In the winter, a jacket does not count as an item of clothing.

Punishment:

1. My failures are cause for punishment.  Most times, the punishment will fit the crime.  If I fail, I understand that punishment will follow and I will accept any and all punishment Master feels is fair.  I will endure the pain, humiliation, and degradation involved in my punishment and learn from my mistakes based on that punishment.  When being punished for my failures, I am not allowed a safeword to stop punishment.
2. There may be times Master just wants to play and cause me pain for his entertainment. My body belongs to Master and I gratefully accept the pain if it pleases him. Entertaining Master is part of my responsibilities and I will perform to the best of my abilities.  I understand that Master knows my limits and will never push them beyond my abilities and I understand that I must work to push my limits to meet his standards and his likes.  When being tortured or punished for entertainment, I will be allowed to use my safeword when at my pain and endurance limit.

Free Time:

1. When given a day off or a period of free time, I am free to do as I wish.  However, I must still show Master the respect he deserves.  I will still make myself appear attractive and presentable for him.  And I am not allowed to have an orgasm during my free time.
2. I am allowed to say ‘no’ to any of Master’s requests.  I am allowed to be lazy and I am free to dress however I wish as long as it’s presentable and keeps me attractive to Master.

This is the level of submissiveness I have right now for Master.  We are both extremely happy and very content with the lives we live.  Every single night, I go to sleep feeling happy and knowing that my day was full of purpose and joy.  I don’t live in fear.  I live with purpose.  I work hard to make Master happy and he gives me the satisfaction of appreciating all I do for him.  I am spoiled.  I am happy.  And I wouldn’t change a single thing about us.

Love you all,

sara

Devotional Training.

ro-zden:

ro-zden:

tolovaj:

Sick sick sick of possibility of being fucking recorded every waking second by tiktok obsessed quasi celebs. Video titled something like “Caught him thinking he’s the main character” but it was just a kid wearing headphones, looking out the bus window. Of course it was posted without his knowledge. Stop recording strangers and everything you see, nobody gives a shit and not everyone is happy to be on tiktok or youtube because of a moron with no braincells and an account. What could be a forgettable awkward moment is now permanently there for the victim of lackabrainis infested idiot to get anxious about forever.

Okay, this seems like a relevant thing to share today: I’ve been in this position. Back in college while on that student lifestyle, I somehow ended up with a pretty bad iron deficiency. How bad? I was not only sleeping too much, I was falling asleep everywhere – in class, in the library, in cafes five minutes after drinking coffee. It was terrible. Anyway, during a class I enjoyed, I was sat at a table with a few classmates, and I started falling asleep while taking notes; nodding off, dropping my pen, startling awake and falling asleep again, until my head was on the table. No one seemed to mind, we were all going through it I guess, and my lecturer was nice enough not to make a big deal out of it.

Cut to the next day and I was in the Students Union, when a friend came up to me and told me how funny that video was of me falling asleep in class was. What? I asked her about it, what did she mean, who made the video, and she realised I literally had no clue about it. Kindly, she told me who to talk to and I thanked her. I was already upset, but I knew it wasn’t the messenger’s fault. So, I took to Facebook and messaged the girl who made the video – a girl on my table in the class from before. I asked her about it, and she admitted it right away – she took the video on her phone during class and posted it to her snapchat. That’s how the other girl saw it, not to mention countless others.

Sorting this out was an absolute toil. I felt betrayed and violated that someone would do that while I was obviously not in a position to have any say about it. I lost friendships with the people who took the girl’s side, as if it was no big deal or “funny”. I had to tell the lecturer about it, because let’s face it, that’s a shit thing to allow to happen during class itself, the department moved to be more alert and proactive about restricting phone use in class, and all that girl had to do was give a half-hearted apology. The next semester, she was still openly using her phone in another class we had.

For a long time, I couldn’t trust anyone who held their phone up around me, as if to take photos or video. It would make me so anxious and put me on edge. I never did speak to the people who cosigned her behaviour, who acted like it wasn’t their problem that their bff video-recorded a person in class over their health condition without their consent.

I did eventually grow out of my anxiety around phones, and I resisted the urge to break that girl’s phone, but, I will absolutely bring back that energy if I see someone record a stranger in public without their consent. Take it from someone who’s been that target – if you think it’s okay, you deserve to get your shit wrecked.

I just want to add, in case anyone reads this and isn’t sure – yes, it is absolutely fine to reblog this, and in fact I encourage you to. If testimony from a former target of this behaviour is the one thing that makes it click for anyone thinking of doing it, if it makes them reconsider before potentially ruining a stranger’s life, then my experience will be worth it for me.

Don’t record strangers and put that shit on the Internet or social media without their consent.

bisexualbaker:

nic-mharta:

gothicprep:

current thoughts while trying to be social

 to It would be easy to say this is “yet another example of how boomers destroyed culture,” but it would be more apt to blame how capitalism’s exploitation of baby-boomers destroyed culture.

In the first couple hundred years or so of the middle class’s existance, young people grew up inside an extended family and learned social roles by emulating their elders. Being a good host or hostess, and a good guest, were values that society recognized as skill-based. Hence, elders actively taught those skills and young people actively learnt them. But come along the baby boom, with an unprecedented combination of wealth and relative numbers, and corporations rushed to define a “teenager” market segment that they could profit from directly by separating their demographic off from the more stable “middle class family” demographic. So “teenage culture” emerged, and they myth of the “generation gap”, and baby boomers never learned the more sophisticated skills of being good guests and good hosts. And hence, many of those skills are only available to people who like hiding out in the HM435-HM477 sections of the library stacks. So here are two little hints from my time in the UBC main library, tested and proven over nearly half a century:

1) When you host a gathering, you have a duty of care to your guests. You have a legal duty of care to keep them reasonably safe, and you have a social duty of care to help them be reasonably comfortable. So try to greet each guest as they arrive, remember their name and something interesting about them, and –> introduce them by name to someone else at the party who might find that thing interesting too.<– Sample script: “Bill, I want you to meet Emma. She is restoring a ‘65 Barracuda, similar to the one you restored.” After your guests are mostly finished arriving, keep an eye on your guests and when one is backed into a corner behind the potted palm looking miserable, go fetch them and introduce them to someone else. Sample script: “Oh, Phyllis, there you are! Have you met Toby yet? Toby! You should really tell Phyllis about your pet tortoise!”

2) When you are a guest and you get buttonholed in this way, help out your host by at least pretending to be interested in ‘65 Barracudas or pet tortoises, and asking the other guest something. Ask them anything. Or if you see the guy moping behind the potted palm before your host does, approach them and ask them something. The key is, use the words “what” or “where” or “how” to ask the question, rather than “do/did …?” That way they cannot simply, desperately, answer “yes” or “no” and have to tell you something you can build on. And don’t worry about “not wanting to pry”. People tend to really like to talk about themselves, provided you give them leeway to decide what part of themselves to talk about. Sample script: “Lucky you! How did you manage to get your hands on a ‘65 Barracuda/pet tortoise?” Or if you didn’t get a prompt from your busy host, “What canapés are the tastiest?” or the old standbys Sample script: “what school do you go to/what are you studying/what do you do in your spare time when you’re not at a cocktail party?”

You can actually memorize just one of these open-ended questions and use it in nearly every circumstance; and then follow up by noticing what the answer makes you curious about, and asking that.

Enjoy.

[Image: The “person standing alone in the corner while at a party” meme. “They don’t know I’m more than happy to talk but I’m not sure how one initiates conversations,” the person thinks. End ID.]

Note: the open-endedness matters a lot, because there are subcultures (especially poor/marginalized ones) where asking about specific topics is very rude.

Example: if you’re not sure that someone goes to a prestigious school, don’t ask, “What school do you go to?” Ask, “What are you studying?”

It’s not actually better to go a prestigious school, but asking can come across as shaming someone if they go to what’s perceived as a “bad” school.

Try to craft questions so that any talkative person could find a way to answer it comfortably.

Avoidstarting with questions about career, background & family. (Though absolutely steer the conversation in that direction if they seem open to it.)

Try to open with questions about preferences, interests, and plans, because pretty much everyone who likes to talk can enjoy talking about those.

Here is what you should not do:

1. Threaten them with violence, rape, or murder. (e.g. You believe in what? People who believe that deserve to be raped!)

2. Make threats of stalking or imply stalking. (e.g. I have your IP address. I know where you live!)

3. Tell them to kill or hurt themselves. (e.g. Why don’t you go cut yourself!)

4. Make fun of their physical appearance. (e.g. You’re opinions don’t matter you fat cow!)

5. Mock their spelling or grammar. (e.g. Well I can’t take anyone seriously who doesn’t know how to use the right “their”.)

6. Tell them that their opinions are based on a mental illness. (e.g. You’re psycho if you think that!)

7. Tell them that their opinions are based on a passed trauma. (e.g. You think that? Then you must have been raped as a child!)

8. Negate their traumas. (e.g. That information isn’t true! If you’re lying about that then you must be lying about being abused!)

9. Name call. (e.g. You’re a cunt!)

10. Continue the conversation if the person no longer wants it to continue. (e.g. Continuously reblogging a post for weeks with more opinions when the OP has asked you to stop.)

Table and Dining Etiquette Tips for Elegant Women

Our dining habits reveals a lot about ourselves, attitude, and how we are perceived by others. Good table manners, as well as dining etiquette, are required qualities for every elegant feminine woman.

What are dining etiquette & manners?

Dining etiquette and manners are basic rules for behaviour around the table. The way we eat, the way we sit, the way we treat others, and even the type of conversations we hold are all part of table etiquette and manners.

Table etiquette around the world

You should be aware that dining etiquette can vary a great deal around the world. Different cultures have different norms and rules.

When you travel abroad, or as a guest, make an effort to learn and follow the local table manners.

Top 3 Table and Dining Etiquette tips

1.Switch your phone off

When you dine with others, you should always focus on communication and conversation. Constantly checking your phone can imply that you are more interested in your device than in the people around you. Don’t be rude!

If you have an urgent call that you cannot miss, politely excuse yourself from the table and take the call to another room.

2.Wait until everyone is served before you eat

It is important to wait until everyone has been served before eating any of your food.
Take time to consider the feelings of those around you and wait before eating. If you are dining with family, friends, or your significant other, this rule applies.

3.Place the napkin on your lap

When you are sitting in a restaurant or any formal event, the first thing you should do after being seated is to put your napkin on your lap.
Remember, once the napkin is on your lap it should never be placed on the table again.
If you need to excuse yourself and leave the table for a moment, place the napkin on your chair until you get back. Before you leave the table – once the meal is finished – place the napkin delicately to the left of your plate.

Stay tuned for part 2! We’ll be going further in depth on the American, British and Conteniental styles of dinning etticate

i literally don’t know tumblr etiquette like is it normal to respond to every person who replies to your blog because i feel bad if i don’t

inky-duchess:

Fantasy Guide to Hosting a High Society Dinner Party

In every period piece, the rich, the noble and the Royal often gather for an exquisite meal where etiquette reigns supreme. The intricacies of these high society dinners are complex, one foot out of line and you risk offending your guests. So how can we write them?

Place Settings

Perhaps the most complex part of a dinner is how the silverware, plates and glasses are arranged on the table. First the table is laid with a wool cloth to keep the white tablecloth in place. The tablecloth has to hang midway between the floor and the table. Every course has to have its own set of silverware, every course must have its own glass for the wine being served. Napkins are usually of linen, cut about twenty-four to twenty-six inches. Most tables would have centrepieces either of candelabras or flowers. This would be undertaken by the footmen under the eye of the butler.

Seating

Table seatings are just as important as anything for a dinner as it marks rank. The head of the house sits at the head of the table. The guest of honor sits next to the head and if they have a guest, say a friend, they sit on the other side of the head of the household. A spouse of the female guest will sit to the left of the host and the spouse of the male guest at the left of the hostess. Important guests are seated near the host or hostess. Other guests at the table are arranged by interests, usually near people they can speak with. Married or engaged guest generally do not sit with one another. Most dinners are arranged in a man-woman arrangement. Most dinners, especially formal ones, would have assigned seating.

Serving

In the dinning room, there are usually a collection of footmen and the butler to serve. The butler selects and pours each wine for the courses served. He serves the host first, working clockwise around the table with each footmen carrying either the sides, accompanying sauce or the meat/fish itself. In very formal settings, every guest may have their own footman to cater their needs. While waiting at table, the servants don’t talk to the guests unless asked a direct question they must avoid avoid eye contact and offer the plate to the appropriate height so the guest can easily serve themselves. All footmen and the butler must wear white gloves while serving.

Timeline

Before dinner, guests gather in the salon or drawing room to have a drink and get settled before hand. Some houses served cocktails during this time. When dinner is announced, the guests will make their way into dining room with the men escorting the ladies they are seated with, following after the host in order of precedent. Most formal dinners had multiple courses, sometimes as much as twenty or so. After dinner, the ladies would leave the men to their drink and cigars while they take coffee in one of the drawing rooms. They would reunite after for some light conversation and entertainment.

Drink

There are strict rules involving drink. Most courses would have their own wine. White wine is served with the fish, red wine with the meat, and champagne or sherry with dessert. Port, coffee and other drinks such as curaçao would be served after supper. Wine would have had to be strained for sediment by the butler beforehand and decanted once opened.

Dining Etiquette

There are numerous rules to follow when is dining at a formal dinner right down to leaving the table or what you wear.

• One doesn’t sit until the hostess has been seated, the guests wait behind their chairs until she sits.
• Men would pull out the chair for the lady to their right. Hands should remain off the table when not in use they should be ones lap.
• Napkins are placed on one’s lap but only after the host/hostess does, with the fold tucked at the waist.
• As for silverware, one begins with the outermost pieces and work your way in for each course.
• One only begins eating or drink when the host does. When the host/hostess stops eating, placing their silverware on the plate at the 10:20 position, everyone must stop eating.
• When a lady rises, the men near her are expected to stand, pulling out her chair and pulling it in when she returns.
• When being served, one is not expected to thank the servants.
• When at a formal dinner, men would wear their whites and tails. At a less formal dinner, men would wear dinner jackets.
• Married ladies would wear tiaras at formal suppers and all ladies wore gloves, removing them while eating.