#fall apart

I hate to burst into tears among people, but I’m always so near to this state…its really tough.

On higher ground

still haven’t gone to bed

have you?

kipplekipple:

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

stimmyabby:

when you go from a bad situation into a better one you may collapse exhausted and unsure what to do and full of grief, you may need time to regain the ability to do things as yourself or motivated by anything other than terror, you may need time to process or mourn or fall apart in ways you could not before,

and people may use this as proof that the old situation was better for you, proof that you need to go back, and it is not proof that it was better for you or proof that you need to go back

!!!

It’s so incredibly common to “fall apart” when you’re finally safe. You no longer need to stay so tightly coiled in on yourself, you can finally leave survival mode and process your trauma. You’re not holding yourself up by sheer terror anymore and suddenly the damage that terror has done to you becomes immediate and obvious. 

This is so important. Don’t go back. Things are already getting better, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

Why does my life gotta fall apart…

While I’m falling apart… while the

WORLD is falling apart?

—Broken Ballads

The only positive thing I’m sure of is that I’ve fucked my body up so much at such a young age that bills seem impossible to pay. The pain no feat for me as long as I take good aim.