Who decided we have to give up pure and wholesome things just to grow up? Sleeping with a little Pikachu plushie does not mean I don’t also make my own doctor appointments.
reblogging because I think there needs to be more notes and more people comfortable with the idea that adulthood is a lie.
I’m not reblogging to add my addition because it’s an old post and isn’t conducive to discussion, but I saw a post where a bi person sent an ask to a lesbian about their shame and discomfort around their attraction to men and the response was to suggest the person might be a lesbian suffering from compulsory heterosexuality or that they might a bi woman facing compulsory heterosexuality and they don’t have to date men. It really struck me reading it how this person really needed a bi person to answer that because, well meaning or not, the lesbian answering it didn’t seem aware of some of the dynamics bi people encounter.
Bi women are often victim blamed and shamed for their attraction to men. They are often told that if they end up in an abusive relationship with a man than it’s their fault because they could have chosen to be with a woman. Their attraction to men is seen as something that taints them and their chance to be in a fulfilling relationship with a woman. Shame and discomfort around their attraction to men may be a result of them internalizing these messages.
In general bi people often face the pressure to reject their bisexuality and identify as lesbian/gay so they can find or maintain support and community. Bi people are often seen as secondary or less important members of the community and this is particularly true for bi people in m/w relationships.
Bundled into this is the idea that a bi person in a m/w relationship is doomed to mimic heterosexuality. Bi people can fear getting into m/w relationships because they fear being jettisoned into straight couple dynamics or, just as bad, mocked for trying to break those dynamics. Bi people who try to remain visible in m/w relationships are castigated for turning queer into an aesthetic, for not recognizing their privilege, for making everything about them.
If a bi person were to come to me and talk about their anxiety around being in a m/w relationship, I wouldn’t jump to “well then you might not be bi.” Instead, I would reassure them that finding a m/w relationships where they are able to fully express themselves as bisexual person is possible and not a betrayal to the lgbt community. I would encourage them to seek out other bisexuals to talk to and share their own experiences. I would let them know no part of their attraction to all genders is shameful. And yes, I would mention that if they’ve worked on unlearning the biphobic messages they’ve absorbed and still don’t find the idea of being in a m/w relationship appealing, than they might not be bi after all.
We failed to take a photo before taking it in, but we brought a bundle to the shelter today! Food, treats, the leftover toys from our store & some of the kitty accessories for the volunteers to enjoy. Plus bleach! Cleaning supplies are well appreciated at shelters as they’re not often thought of.
It’s been more than 2 years since Lazarou was adopted and nearly 2 since Adamwe was. We are so grateful! Why not help out your own local shelter? Or ours
Hello, friends and followers! I’m opening up emergency commissions to help fund my people and keep them safe in the streets while they protest for our rights. If you want to read more about in detail, read further.
From today until May 12, I am offering 3 SLOTS FOR FICSand3 SLOTS FOR FANART services for the fandoms I’m in. Refer to the photos above for more deets!
If you’re interested, feel free to DM me here or otherwise on Discord (which I will freely give in DMs to those to ask).
Payment will be upfront as I will immediately donate it to different organizers.
I will message you once I start working on your piece, but because of my loaded schedule, it may take me time.
All commissions will be tracked in a dedicated spreadsheet.
I have the right to refuse a commission.
WHY I’M HOLDING THESE COMMISSIONS
I and my fellow Filipinos are currently in the midst of a creating a pivotal moment in history as we expose the unjust and corrupt election day that occurred last Monday, May 9, 2022.
As I write this, my people—some I know personally, most of whom I share the same principles and thirst for justice—are camping out in the streets in front of the Commission on Elections, protesting peacefully yet strongly against the blatant disenfranchisement and electoral fraud that occurred yesterday: from broken vote counting machines to corrupted SD cards, people had to wait in line for more than six hours only to personally feed their ballots into the machines. A day after the elections, we’ve learned of additional anomalies that contribute to the spread of misinformation that contributed to Marcos Jr.’s win by (alarming) landslide. This has been the nastiest election day that I’ve ever encountered, and it will keep going.
Keeping us in your thoughts will matter to us taking a stand for our right to democracy. And whether you’re a friend, a follower of mine, or even some random internet passerby, know that there are millions of us—millions—who are woke enough to take a stand to fight the powers that be.
P.S.: There will be Opinions circulating around news outlets; if you read World News, it’s impossible to miss. But let me assure you that the last thing I would want is to identify with the red-and-green clad, misinformed masses who resist the change we’ve been promised by a dream candidate. There’s only one president and for me and that’s a woman—enough said. I hope you take a chance on me as a tool for my country’s democracy.
Thank you for reading all this wall of text—I am eternally grateful you took the time to do so.
This is why I don’t believe guys who tell me that the condom is too small.
When I was in middle school, we had a woman come teach us about contraception, and literally the first thing she told us was ‘Ladies, if a guy ever tells you he can’t wear condoms because they’re too small, he’s lying’ and then proceeded to open a condom and stretch it up her forearm up to her elbow.
My health teacher did the same thing, but she put the entire contents of a 2-liter bottle of soda into a condom and said, “So girls, if a boy ever says that he’s too big for condoms, you run. You run so far.”
This is one post we often see and really dislike. The message seems to be that no penis is too big for any condom and that the statement “my penis is too big for this condom” is never a valid one. And this is not true.
As you you can see in the first pictures and read in the quoted posts above, a condom can be stretched out to fit a foot, a forearm and 2 liter of soda.This does not mean that this is safe or comfortable.
Condoms that are too small for you can partly cut off blood circulation and are prone to break. While carefully putting it on a foot or hand doesn’t necessarily tear it (but can - like it did in the second/third pictures), rubbing it against skin (which is what happens during sex) can easily do that.
Condoms are not “one size fits all”. It’s important to find condoms fitting you. Check out this site http://www.condom-sizes.org/condom-size-chart/condom-size-chart and look at “MY.SIZE” condoms http://www.mysize-condoms.com/. They promote finding the right size and offer “try out” packages which include condoms in three different sizes with which you can find your optimal choice (since MY.SIZE condoms are rather expensive, I suggest searching for cheaper brands as soon as you know your size).
There seem to be men that would tell lies about non fitting condoms to get unprotected sex. This is - obviously - a very immature behaviour. Nevertheless, this is a relevant claim.
Please stay safe and spread the word, this is so important!
i think a big thing that disconcerts adults about learning new skills is that learning as an adult means you are very aware of how bad you are at the beginning in a way children aren’t.
i picked up the saxophone when i was 11 and played until i was about 17. by the end of it i was first chair in our highest ensemble, a district honor band player, etc. but at the beginning – and this is important – i was bad. for the first year or so, i had no rhythm, i couldn’t make my tongue line up with my fingers, i was consistently sharp, etc. etc. other kids actually made fun of me for my lack of skill.
but 11 year old me didn’t care. 11 year old me practiced, but she also thought that being able to play the pink panther made her incredible (i shudder in retrospect). i mean, i was aware i wasn’t a master, but my skill level didn’t deter me from wailing out those notes in a way that i’m sure had my band director questioning his career decisions.
right now, i’m trying to pick up the guitar. it’s a very different instrument from the saxophone, and i struggle a lot with things like strumming patterns and barre chords. and sometimes i don’t want to play, because i know i’m bad at guitar. and sometimes i beat myself up when stumbling through a poor acoustic rendition of Everybody Wants to Rule the World because it’s not how i want it to sound. and it’s made even more frustrating because i can navigate the saxophone so smoothly.
but then i remember that i have to think like a kid. i might not be the best at guitar by any stretch of the imagination, but every little bit of progress is still progress.humility is a big part of learning, but if you treat a practice session like your own private concert, it becomes so much more fun, even if you’re bad like i am. when you’re first picking up a skill, whether it be an instrument, or a language, or a fine art, no one is expecting you to be the yo yo ma of that thing. forget about how little you know about the skill and think instead about how much you have to learn – that’s fun! do your best!!
i find that as you get older, people think that you have less of an excuse to be bad at things, no matter when you started learning them
but after you get good suddenly people start praising you for “being ahead of the curve”
the instant you can start divesting yourself from this horrid world of expectation, the easier it becomes to try any new thing
Guys this is so important!! Give yourselves some slack and just keep on trucking! Just focus on yourself and be proud of what you have achieved so far. Even if what you achieved is a little thing, little pieces pile up eventually to something big! You’re doing great, keep it up :D
I don’t understand how people say mean things so easily lol like someone could have spent years learning to love themselves and you say something and take them back to square one with just a few words
part of what annoys me about “all men are trash - but like not trans men you guys are special!!” is the idea that trans men wouldn’t feel solidarity with our fellow men. that we would want to be divided from them, as if we don’t see them as our friends, brothers, fathers, partners, comrades etc. as if we wouldn’t want all of our fellow men to be freed from gender roles and cissexism.
yeah like what bothers me about that shit is, as a gay dude, I see what men are like when phones are away, cameras turned off, behind bedroom doors, how many of them immediately become so much softer and emotionally open & complicated. I like cis dudes as well as trans, not because I see them as some valorization of my Real Manhood, but because so many need to be held and cry into someone’s arms so badly & i mean SO fucking badly
hell yeah.
patriarchy hurts all of us. all of us.
I have said it before and I will say it again, male privilege is not actually good, or nice. It’s a conditional protection from marginalization but the conditions are set to make you absolutely miserable. It’s the same kind of privilege as an older sibling in an abusive family who can protect themself by making their younger sibling the main target. They’re still being abused.
Okay, Gen Z, younger millennials, please tell me, are you aware of what the title Ms. means? And how to pronounce it?
Because I just listened to several young 20-somethings pronounce it Miss and talk about how it means you’re not married. And…I’m feeling weird about it, considering that’s the title I use.
(It means my marital status is none of your business. I use it because I’m married but I kept my maiden name so I’m not Mrs. anyone.)
These comments really are fascinating and it seems especially people whose first language isn’t English aren’t sure about this, which is fair. But as I suspected some young folks aren’t clear either?
It seems like Ms. has been conflated with Miss and Miss has fallen out of favor, which is fair, but the meanings have been confused.
So here:
Ms.has some antique origins similar to Mrs. and Miss (all short for Mistress) but was revived in the 20th century (mostly in the 60s and 70s) by feminists as an all-purpose female title.
The problem with Miss and Mrs. is that they are tied specifically to marital status. (Miss is SPECIFICALLY an unmarried woman and Mrs. is a woman who is married or has been married. Yes, even older women can be Miss and a widow is still Mrs. (of course if they so choose).
While Mr. isn’t tied to marital status for men, of course. So Ms. is the female equivalent to Mr., intended to be used both as a default term when you don’t know someone’s marital status and ALSO as a term of choice when you don’t wish to be defined by your relationship to a man.
This was very much a political thing, part of second-wave feminism (which of course has it’s flaws). (Ms. magazine was a feminist women’s magazine which popularized the term.)
It’s pronounced something like Miz or Mzz.
So for me, I’ve used Ms. basically since I got out of college anytime I’m asked for a title. First because I didn’t want my marital status to be a thing of concern in professional settings. And when I was living with my now-husband but we weren’t married. And then after we were married and I kept my own last name because IMO neither of the other options was relevant.
(The keeping your own name thing is a different discussion probably, but I did it partly out of desire to stay the same “person” and partly out of apathy. Also my husband’s last name isn’t even the same as his parents (because remarriage) so there was no pressure there to change it and he gave no fucks about it. In fact, he’s almost seriously thought about changing his name to mine because he likes my family better, lol.)
But anyway, I feel like it’s important to keep the intention of Ms. alive because it’s so very useful and needed to have an equal partner to Mr. And more useful than ever with so many situations where you may be married/committed but not using your partner’s name (ie. gay married, poly relationships, not legally married for reasons of disability, idk whatever).
But Ms. does NOT mean unmarried. It means someone could be of ANY marital status: never married, currently married, divorced, widowed, etc. It means “it’s not your business because you don’t ask a man his marital status the first second you meet him so buzz off.”
it’s not your business because you don’t ask a man his marital status the first second you meet him so buzz off
“The daily routine of most adults is so heavy and artificial that we are closed off to much of the world. We have to do this in order to get our work done. I think one purpose of art is to get us out of those routines. When we hear music or poetry or stories, the world opens up again. We’re drawn in — or out — and the windows of our perception are cleansed, as William Blake said. The same thing can happen when we’re around young children or adults who have unlearned those habits of shutting the world out.”
We are not telling you who or what to vote for. But we are asking that ALL of our eligible followers and participants, wherever you live, registerandvote in your local and national elections.
Voting is your right.
Not everyone has the right or ability to vote. Vote for those who don’t. Don’t forget that others have made sacrifices so that you could vote today.
Your vote matters.
Votes decide real policies that affect real people’s lives. Some of the most recent elections have been decided on a razor thin margin. Your vote really does make a difference.
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We don’t just vote for the leaders of our countries. We vote for who is in charge of our local schools, our local towns, and so on. These races can be especially close. You can have a direct impact on where you live. Local politicians are also easier to access and responsive to citizen concerns. Local politicians also become state politicians become national politicians. You can shape who rises by voting.
We live in a global society.
Even if we live in different countries, your vote affects me. My vote affects you. And you can’t get out of this one by not voting because-
Elections are decided by who shows up to vote.
We all play a role in the outcome of each election. If we all vote, those in office are accountable to all of usandnot just to a few. If we stay home, we let a few people make decisions for the rest of us. Those aren’t usually the people who have our best interests at heart.
Voting is an important tool for building the world we want to see. So is getting your friends and family to vote. By voting yourself, you make it more likely that they will too.
If you live in the U.S.
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im still so in love with the way pat and pran continued to bicker and compete even once theyd gotten together bc so many shows suddenly have the dynamic of a couple conpletely change once they get together which makes no sense bc the reason they work well together and like each other is bc of how their relationship was before they got together so changing it completely makes it feel inauthentic and truly like a loss of a great friendship in place of romance when it should be romance adding to a great friendship
Reblogs this x1000 to try to get rid of cultural ignorance when it comes to this. Because breaking down Indian stereotypes in particular is incredibly important to me for many reasons.
