#fandom harassment
Recently, I didn’t reply to someone who had messaged me on Tumblr and this person reacted by blocking me, so that when I found time to answer the message, I had typed up my reply, and, obviously, couldn’t send it. I thought, well, that’s kind of a petty response to someone not answering right away (never mind that it would be sometimes days or weeks before I answer people’s messages on other forums, and they would be cool with it). I thought about this, and I thought about mentioning it, and the reason I’ve decided to talk about it is because it goes back to perceptions about interaction with others that we all need to be mindful of.
If someone sends me a message that I don’t answer right away or don’t answer at all it’s because:
- I’m busy - I have a life that’s not Tumblr and that takes precedence.
- I’m thinking of what to say - I sometimes need to do that. Thoughts aren’t always completely formed in my head, and I don’t write without thinking.
- I’m not emotionally capable of responding - I’m upset about the thing you’re asking me about or I’m processing, so I can’t talk right now.
- I don’t want to talk - everyone should be allowed to be silent if they feel like it.
- I don’t have any more to say - if all I’m going to do is repeat myself, or if the conversation has come to a natural end, then I’m not going to say any more.
- Tumblr got hungry and ate your message - which means I didn’t get it, which means I obviously couldn’t reply.
But, what all this really comes down to is this: no one is entitled to my attention. Message me by all means, but no one has an automatic right to my time or my emotional reassurance, even if I’ve provided it before. I’m a nice person: I like to talk to people and be reassuring and positive, but I am not a bottomless well of understanding and reassurance. I’m someone who needs time to process my own feelings and replenish my own stock of positivity, particularly when I’m upset about something. We are all entitled to make ourselves available to anyone or no one as we see fit.
So, anyone who feels like they’re entitled to my time or yours, and who gets petty or upset when they don’t get it, is not someone I or you need in our lives anyway. Respect yourself and your emotions and your time, and forget about anyone who can’t accept that.
No autistic person deservesto be bullied. No autistic person brings bullying upon themselves by being too “weak”, “socially inept”, “awkward”, “weird”, “stupid”; etc ad infini blah blah yadda. Neurotypicals/allistics who use that as an excuse to harass and make fun of us are the weak ones. You have a piece of cooked spaghetti for a backbone if you think it’s appropriate to set upon someone who, for whatever reason, isn’t, or may not be, equipped to fight back.
Reasons it’s okay for someone to abuse you:
- None. Literally none.
It doesn’t matter if you were in trouble, or they were having a bad day. It doesn’t matter if you’ve made mistakes in the past or feel you deserve it.
There is no justification for someone abusing you. You deserved better. And it was wrong.
