#grisha netflix
shadow and bone episode 5. thats it.
you know why
i’ve been thinking about darklina all day and i don’t think anything can prepare me for april.
i’ll literally pass out
me after watching the shadow & bone trailer and it looks exactly like how i pictured it in my head.
BESTIE IM HYPERVENTILATING.. BESTIE IM HYPERVENTILATING
GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
I AM CURRENTLY IN SHOCK.
he also… said. the. line. ♂️
Alina Starkov icons (shadow and bone, 2021) without psd
like/reblog if you save or use, thanks.
Zoya: What’s in your hands??
Nikolai: *attempting to hide her ribbon* Nothing.
Zoya:…
Nikolai: *blushing* Something blue…something borrowed!
The Six of Crows cast being the cutest
(Via Amita’s and Danielle’s ig)
Shadow and Bone cast sitting at tables (first one is new)
MY ruthless criminals, MY six of crows
THE GRISHAVERSE → MATTHIAS HELVAR
“You’re better that waffles, Matthias Helvar.” A small smile curled the Fjerdan’s lips. “Let’s not say things we don’t mean, my love”
THE GRISHAVERSE → GENYA SAFIN
beauty was your armor. fragile stuff, all show. but what’s inside you? that’s steel. it’s brave and unbreakable. and it doesn’t need fixing
The Lantsov Emerald [Kaz Brekker x OC] - Chapter Seven (Anatasia)
Warnings: cursing, fantasy violence, family drama
The wind blew the curtains away from the window, which only caused shadows to fall on the woman’s face. She didn’t have the courage to be frightened. She had suspected that she had been followed. There was no real way for Ravka’s Princess Anastasia to escape, even if she wished she could. Her marriage would mean the safety of her country. They would not allow her to get away.
It didn’t matter that those sorts of arrangements had never worked in the past. It didn’t matter that she didn’t want to marry.
“Your Highness,” the voice was not one that she expected. She had assumed that one of the Second Army would have been tasked to find her. She had thought they would have sent a Grisha to drag her back to the palace. She wasn’t exactly worth it, but at the same time they couldn’t risk a mortal man failing to deliver her.
The woman stepped out of the shadows. It was the same one that had been seated next to Kaz. Her eyes were kind, despite the obvious threat she possessed. Anastasia had no idea if she could trust her or not. Well, actually, she knew the answer to that. The streets were much like the courts of Ravka. None could be trusted, none could be expected to keep to their deals. She supposed that Kaz had sent the woman to kill her.
“You should return to the palace.” The woman said, her voice as soft as the wind. “Kaz will try to keep his bargain, but surely you realize how dangerous it is to cross the Fold. With or without a skiff.”
“I know,” Anastasia would not be afraid though. If Nikolai had done it, so could she. She would do anything if it meant seeing her brother again. “But I cannot allow my future to happen without my consent. If I stay, I risk never seeing Nikki again. I risk losing the only parts of myself that my family hasn’t destroyed.”
It was dramatic of her, but Nikolai would understand. She hoped he would anyway. There was a very good chance that Nikolai would think she was being a stubborn, selfish idiot who needed to rethink their priorities.
He wouldn’t exactly be wrong.
“Your future is happening, Princess,” the Suli girl stepped out of the shadows then. She was beautiful, like an image of a Saint that Anastasia was supposed to pray to. She wondered how the girl had ended up working with Mr. Brekker, why she was so cautious over this job. Surely, there had been other jobs. Other dangerous positions. “It would be stupid to think you can run from it.”
She clenched her jaw, counting like Vasily had taught her. Her eldest brother may have been useless but he’d always made sure that she and Nikolai knew how to keep up appearances. It was that or be an utter embarrassment to him. Even now, she could not believe that her eldest brother would do anything if it did not benefit him. Maybe it was wrong of her, maybe he felt more for his siblings than he had ever shown. But Anastasia did not believe it for a second.
“I’m not running from anything. We’ll be back before my birthday. You’ll get your payment and all will be well.” Anastasia had never believed that anything bad could truly happen to her. She’d been protected by the Second Army and her brothers her entire life. The dangers of the Fold were not present in her mind. Nor were the dangers of Kerch.
Nikolai would have a heart attack if he ever found out just how reckless his sister had become in his absence.
“You’ve never been told no, have you?” The girl raised her brow, giving Anastasia a look that she thought would kill her if the woman was Grisha. She supposed it was a good thing that she was not.
“No,” she answered truthfully. “Nor do I intend to start. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you that I know what I’m doing. As does your Mr. Brekker.”
“Kaz likes impossible jobs. You’ve just managed to give him one."
Before she could open her mouth to make a retort, the girl was gone. She didn’t wonder how it had happened. There was no telling how long the wraith-like woman had been doing this. There was no telling when she would come back either. All she was left with were her thoughts. Thoughts that were going a billion miles an hour, that were certain that she was making a mistake. But one that she could not back away from.
They spent a week waiting for something to happen. For anything to happen. Anastasia had felt as though she were going to go mad from waiting. She had never been forced to wait so long, unless it was word from Nikolai. Then she’d be forced to wait for months on end.
The only time she had seen Kaz Brekker and his friends was during meal times. She never sat with them, figuring they’d spend more than enough time together when the time came. Besides, it wouldn’t have been smart to draw any sort of attention to herself. She had no idea if they would figure out a way to reveal who she was to the entire pub or not, but she hadn’t wanted to risk it. It didn’t matter how far from them she sat, though, she always felt his eyes on her.
It was more than just a bit disarming. His eyes were like sheets of ice. She could feel the cold piercing through her, wrapping her in a vice that refused to let go. She wondered if the others felt the same. If they were each just as worried about what he might do as she was. Of course, she knew that was quite silly. They were clearly just as dangerous as he was. Kaz wouldn’t be the most dangerous person in his little gang. That would have been ill-advised.
Although, Anastasia did not know much about gangs or about whatever it was that the three were. They made sort of a miss-matched family in a way, but she was not yet brave enough to tell any of them that.
Those sorts of thoughts seemed to plague her mind more often than not nowadays.
"The Darkling is coming,” he didn’t make it sound pleasant as he sat down beside her. “Which means we’ve got our skiff.”
“And that he’ll probably recognize me,” she pointed out without looking at him. She didn’t need to see the ice-cold glare or the cheekbones that looked as though they were made of diamond. He was much more beautiful than her husband-to-be, which felt as though it were some sort of cruel and unusual joke. Why should a criminal be so fetching and a prince be … Not.
“It’s either risk this or go back home, Highness,” Kaz’s voice was gravel, his fingers wrapped around a pint as though it had insulted him. She wondered briefly about his rage. What could make a man so angry? So full of fire and brimstone when he could be no more than eighteen?
Anastasia glanced at him then, noting the slight furrow in his brow and the way his jaw twitched slightly. This bothered him more than he let on. She never would have noticed had she not been raised in the courts. Those small ticks had been the only source of amusement in the courts of Ravka. They gave away all the best gossip. As long as one knew how to accurately read them.
“Has something happened?”
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with,” he gave her that ice-like glare. She hated the way it felt as though he were freezing her from the inside out. Hated how she wanted to tell him to go and fuck himself and a number of other regrettable words. She bit her tongue though. There was no point in angering the man who was taking her back to her brother. She highly doubted there would be another who knew Kerch and knew how to cross the Fold.
“If it puts us in jeopardy, I think it is my concern.” Anastasia had lived her life being glared at and told that something wasn’t her concern. She would not allow this boy to do the same thing. It was bad enough her brothers had done it throughout her life. The only ones who had ever told her no in any capacity, the only ones who’d cared for her.
Kaz stared at her. It would have made a braver person look away. But she was stubborn and had glared down generals who had wished to sacrifice Nikolai. She could stare into a dragon’s eyes if she needed to. What was Kaz Brekker? A crow without wings? Someone who could easily kill her but wouldn’t. Not if he wanted his full payment. Not if he wanted the impossible jobs.
“He’s got another piece of my puzzle,” it was cryptic yet it was all the answer she was going to get from him. She highly doubted he would tell her anything else until he assumed the time was right. It felt quite barbaric.
“And I suppose that means we’ll be risking our lives trying to get your puzzle piece and get to Kerch safely?” Her brow rose slightly, despite the fact that she was less surprised and more excited. What wonderous adventure awaited them? Would it be like the ballets had described? Would she one day hear a symphony composed about their triumphs and failings? She was getting too ahead of herself, she knew that. But adventure was far more exciting than she had ever dreamed it could be.
“Yes, it does."
Anastasia looked at Kaz, their eyes seeming to fight for control. She wasn’t entirely sure what they were fighting about. He knew what he was doing. He would be the most likely option to avoid them getting killed, but Anastasia did not want to give up her newfound freedom so easily. It was go along with his mad plan, which would likely end with the Darkling dragging her all the way back to the palace, or she would have to find some other way to Kerch. It was horrible to think that she would have to choose, horrible to think that there was even a choice.
"Fine. We’ll go with the Darkling. But I pray you have an idea on how to keep us from getting killed.”
At this, Kaz smiled. “Don’t trust your Saints, Highness. Don’t trust anyone.”
The following morning, they were ready. She was petrified. Something was bound to go wrong. She would be sent back to her mother and her father, who would then ship her to Fjerda before she had the chance to run away again. There wasn’t a chance of her ever finding her brother, of becoming someone who had lived her life to the fullest. She would just be a pretty princess trapped within a gilded cage. That was all she was good for.
Anastasia’s wind blew in the hair, blonde locks fluttering everywhere. She nearly looked as though she had been ripped from the pages of a storybook. Even if she did not know this.
Kaz glared at the strands that nearly brushed his face. “Highness,” his gravely voice was almost covered by the sounds of the crowd that had gathered and the wind. “You should hide yourself.”
“Why?” She looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes the brightest they’d been in weeks. Her excitement was nearly palpable. “It isn’t like he’s going to see me in this crowd.”
“You stand out,” Jesper pointed out, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger. The smile he gave her would have given her butterflies, had she not seen it on the son’s of lords all her life. “I doubt most people here have Fjerdian coloring.”
She turned pink as she pulled the silk scarf that Nikolai had once given her out of her pocket. She knew that she couldn’t help who her mother was, but she could wish that she had inherited some recessive gene. She thought she would look nice with darker hair. Besides, then she would blend in just a bit easier with her countrymen. Nikolai and Vasily could be the ones who stood out. They were the ones people cared about, after all.
She hid her hair away, feeling less herself than she had just moments ago.
“How exactly are we going to do this?” Anastasia questioned, glancing once at Kaz.
He appeared to be deep in thought. He was staring ahead, almost looking at nothing, but she could almost see the way his mind was working through some problem. Some issue that he had yet to solve.
“Mr. Brekker?” She tried again, wondering if she should shake him like she had to with Nikki and Vasily. Were most men like this? Going too far into their own heads and having to be brought out of it by a gentle touch. She knew that it was fine to do so with her brothers but she worried when it came to Kaz. It wasn’t like she knew him. He might try to stab her the moment she laid a gentle hand on him.
“Let him thing,” Inej’s voice was soft enough, but she could still hear the threat in the words.
Life in a palace had taught her the intricacies of threats and verbal manipulation. She’d been surrounded by people who had believed they knew best her entire life. What were these criminals? Just different versions of the same people she’d grown up with. Maybe she should have been more afraid. Or maybe she should have known that they would underestimate her. Just as everyone did.
Anastasia watched Kaz carefully, watched the way his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as his eyes traveled back and forth as though they were chasing each thought inside of his head. She didn’t want to admit that he was quite pretty when he was like this. All the hard edges of his face seemed to soften, his fingers tightened on his cane and she wondered briefly why. What ideas were in his head? What adventure was he crafting?
One day, she would daydream about that face. One day, she would think about it as she fell asleep.
Now, however, she just wished he would hurry it up and come up with something. They were quickly running out of time. If they didn’t come up with something fast enough, the skiff would leave without them. Her only chance at finding her brother would be gone. She refused to go to Fjerda without one final goodbye. For she knew the truth. Once her family shipped her off, they would forget her entirely.
The princess stared at the criminal. Her eyes never leaving his as he thought things that no one would ever know. She didn’t trust him. She didn’t trust his friends or the way he looked at her. As though she didn’t know anything. As though she was nothing more than a silly little girl.
“Quickly,” Kaz broke free from his thoughts, eyes landing on Anastasia. “Inej, get her on the skiff. Jesper, cause a distraction.”
“Don’t think I’ll need to boss,” Jesper stated as he nodded once towards the skiff.
Alina Starkov stood side by side with the Darkling. She had antlers around her neck and appeared to be a dog on a leash. Anastasia’s stomach flipped at the sight. What had General Kirigin done?
“Even better,” Kaz’s eyes sparked with mischief. “Everyone, hurry. Sneak around the back and don’t make a sound.”
The two criminals nodded to their boss. Inej ushered Anastasia away from the crowd, leading her around to the other side of the skiff. There were less people about, everyone having wanted to get a good look at the fools crossing. This side of the skiff mainly held supplies and few guards whose attention was on the sun summoner, not the four people heading towards them.
“Jes,” Inej murmured softly, “can you take care of them?”
“Thought you’d never ask,” Jesper’s eyes twinkled as he took his pistols from his belt.
Anastasia thought about screaming, about warning the guards that something horrible was going to happen. But she didn’t. She bit her tongue in order to stay silent. Jesper had to do it. He had to shoot them, the sounds of the crowd cheering and the Darkling’s yells covered the noise almost too well. Yet, Anastasia’s ears still rang. How had this happened? How had any of this happened? Was her desire to see Nikolai greater than people’s lives? Was her brother truly worth the price of selling herself to Kerch’s greatest criminals? Or was she just being selfish?
She knew that she was being selfish. She knew that Nikolai would hate her for it and yet - there was nothing she could do to stop it. She needed to see him. Needed to be as free as anyone else.
Jesper led the group onto the skiff, motioning with his hand for them to keep silent. It seemed redundant to her. He had just murdered the guards, had just acted as though his own self-interest were more important. Anastasia would say a prayer for them tonight, she would ask the saints to give them safe passage to the afterlife. She highly doubted she would ever be granted that same kindness. After all, she was unsure if she regretted the fact they were dead. They’d been standing in her way.
“Watch yourself, Highness,” Kaz’s gravel voice spoke in her ear. She felt the press of something hard and metal against her back, nearly knocking her off balance as she climbed over the edge of the skiff. “Wouldn’t want you to fall.”
Something told her that he wouldn’t mind it much at all if she did fall to her demise. But she bit her tongue, not wanting to anger the man who was the key to finding her brother. “I can manage myself just fine, thank you.”
His eyes glinted with something. An emotion that she didn’t know how to accurately describe. It wasn’t humor, not like she had ever known it at least. But nor was it anything that sent warning bells ringing through her. If anything, it sent a delightful chill down her spine. But for now, she would chalk that up to the wind that was blowing. She didn’t want it to be anything else. Anything else would be a distraction that she could not yet afford.
“We’ll see.” Kaz did not look at her as he tossed himself over the edge of the skiff, his bad leg almost going out from under him as he did. He straightened quickly enough, almost as though he didn’t want her to see.
Anastasia wasn’t sure that she cared about a bad leg. It made him seem almost human in a way.
Kaz Brekker couldn’t be human. The way he looked at her often made her think of demons, of monsters from fairytales that Nikolai had read her when she was younger. When he was still home. She was certain that her brother would see this man as a threat, as someone who needed to be as far from Anastasia as possible. But that did not matter now.
“This way,” Kaz hissed over his shoulder, not sparing a glance at the three who stood behind him.
Inej quickly flanked him, with Jesper following after Anastasia. It was almost as though they didn’t quite trust her to remain on the skiff. While she may have been frightened, Anastasia knew that running would just mean giving up any hope of a future.
Her future was what she was chasing. Not her brother. Not the feeling of freedom that she had craved for so long. No, she wanted something more. Something better. Something bright.
Kaz led the trio to a quiet alcove that was just big enough for the four of them to hide unnoticed. It would be a tight squeeze, but it was covered and out of the way. Likely, no one would think to check for them. He squeezed in beside Anastasia. She briefly worried that he would hear her heart rate increase. She assured herself that the only reason she felt anything was because of how tight the actual space was. She’d never been so close to a person in her life. She wasn’t sure if she liked it.
Anastasia felt as though she could not breathe. She felt as though her stomach was going to twist in on itself all while her heart imploded. She closed her eyes tightly, her hands clenched into fists that were hidden by her skirts.
The skiff took off into the darkness of the Fold before Anastasia could gather her courage. She could hear Inej murmuring prayers and the soft click of Jesper’s pistols. Kaz was the only one who was silent. She almost wanted to lean on him because of it. But she didn’t.
For the second that she had made the slightest move to, all hell broke loose.
The Lantsov Emerald [Kaz Brekker x OC] - Chapter Six (Kaz)
Warnings: cursing, fantasy violence, family drama
No one was ever supposed to find him. No one was supposed to be able to talk to him as she had done. But she had. A pretty little princess with a head full of dreams that would never come true. She had no reason to come after him, to follow him as far as she should.
She had more spirit than he had thought. He wasn’t quite sure he liked that. He didn’t know how to handle the unexpected, not when he had plans for everything. When he accounted for everything else, he found it difficult to account for a princess going against her nature.
What was he going to do?
He could accidentally lose her in Kerch, could make damn certain they did not manage to get found and ransom her off for millions of kruge, or he could just kill her. He could even sell her to one of the brothels if he truly wanted to. He was certain they’d pay a high price for the princess of Ravka.
He knew he could not do anything. Not if he wanted to keep his head. Ravka and Fjerda both would not take her sudden disappearance well. Nor could he kill her. He’d have the entire Ravkan army after him for that one. All he could do was agree to her terms and hopefully fuck her over when the time for his payment came. He could take more than her little emerald for making sure she got there and back safely.
He had no idea how he was supposed to get her across the Fold twice. It wasn’t like they had a chance in hell to cross it safely once. The last time he had done so, he had almost gotten himself killed.
“Didn’t think babysitting a princess was within our wheelhouse,” Jesper sighed dramatically as he looked at Kaz. His eyes were bright, ready for adventure.
“It isn’t,” Kaz admitted, not bothering to look at the sharpshooter. “But we don’t have much of a choice. Do we?” She could easily get them all killed if she wanted to. He didn’t think it would be a good risk to take.
“We should send her back to the palace,” Inej interjected, her arms crossed in front of her chest and a steely gaze in her eyes. “We’re already begging for trouble by chasing the Sun Summoner.”
“Think of it this way,” Kaz didn’t want to reassure anyone. He didn’t exactly know if his idea would work or not, which was concerning. Kaz was always ten steps ahead. He didn’t like having people think he didn’t know what he was doing. Although, it did put people more at ease. “If Dressen will pay a million for the Sun Summoner, think of how much one of the princess's brothers would give for her. Think of what Fjerda’s princeling would give for her.”
“You can’t be serious.” Inej looked almost appalled at the idea. Considering how vocal she had been the entire time about not taking the Sun Summoner, he supposed it made sense for her to balk at this.
“Would you rather we killed her?”
“I quite like the idea of killing her brothers and marrying her,” Jesper shrugged his shoulders as a bright grin crossed his features. “I think I’d make an excellent king, don’t you agree?”
Kaz scoffed, his own appalled look crossing his face. “You’d bankrupt her country faster than any skirmish they’ve been in. Stay away from the crown, Jes.”
“So what? We take the girl to Kerch and hold her there? How long do we have her before word slips out? We’ll have to fight day and night to keep her. Can we really take the risk?” At least Inej had some intelligent thoughts. He knew he could not rely on Jesper for anything like that.
Kaz tapped his gloved fingers on the wooden table. He was shocked that they did not come away sticky. The bar was filthy, it reminded him too much of home. “Yes, we can.”
It was almost too easy. The rest of the Barrel would find out about the princess before the first day was over. He knew it would cause complete and utter chaos. Every gang in Ketterdam would be after her. Not to mention the Merchant Council and her brother. There would be hell to pay. But it would be the best way to catch Pekka Rollins off guard. He’d want the princess. He’d think that it was his right to have the princess, that he would be able to do what Kaz couldn’t.
Pekka would assume that he was owed the notoriety, the money, perhaps even her hand in marriage for ‘saving’ her from the Bastard of the Barrel.
Kaz would make damn sure he knew just where he stood. Pekka Rollins would find out just how low he stood.
“Kaz,” Inej started as he stood up. “We can’t do this.”
“We’ll be taking the emerald, Inej,” he stated as he fixed his coat. “That’s the end of the discussion.”
She glared at him, he could feel her eyes burning through him as he left the bar. He knew that she and Jesper would be discussing this and his plans for longer than necessary. They would more than likely tell him their displeasure until the plan actually worked out. They didn’t trust him enough, they didn’t need him to tell them how things would work out and how they just had to believe in him. That was bullshit and they all knew it. He just had to continue proving that he was the only one who knew what was going on at any given time.
He didn’t know how they’d cross the Fold, nor how they would find the Sun Summoner. He didn’t know how he’d keep his bargain with Dressen and his deal with Anastasia. But he’d do it. Kaz Brekker had broken every rule, he’d made the world his own. He would tear it down brick by brick if he needed to. There was nothing that would keep him from doing what needed to be done. He was made of vengeance and spite, he wouldn’t let anything keep him down. Not Pekka Rollins or the King of Ravka.
The only issue he could foresee was Prince Nikolai. Everyone had heard the rumors, everyone knew he was nothing more than a bastard-born son. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t worth something. Kaz couldn’t kill two royal children. Not if he wanted to survive long enough to destroy Pekka.
His eyes traveled to the small inn across from the bar. He could see her in one of the windows on the top floor. Her hair dazzled in the light, her smile was almost glowing as she danced to music only she could hear. He worried that he had gotten into something bigger than himself. He had no idea how to deal with a princess. She was used to certain pleasures that she wouldn’t have in Kerch.
He could already hear her complaints.
Kaz knew that he would have to make sure that the Crow Club would be a safe hiding place for her. Although, he was also aware it would be one of the first places someone would look for her. He would have to give up one of his safe houses for her. That or he would have to come up with a new plan entirely.
This was almost too much for him to handle. He had dealt with issues before. With everything going on, he was certain that this would either push him over the edge or he would end up at the top of the Barrel. He knew which one he would prefer, which one he knew would make things better for him and the Crows.
The Crows needed to be on top. They needed to be more than just another bunch of bastards in the Barrel. They needed to prove their worth.
It didn’t matter that they were the best of the best. That his crew was more unique than any other. They were still nothing more than the underdogs of the Barrel. The ones who were lost and still yearning to find a home.
Kaz shook off his thoughts as he turned away from the inn and from the girl. He didn’t need anything from her. Nothing save that emerald. The emerald could buy him the Dime Lions if he wanted. He knew that it would be worth it to ruin everything Pekka had ever wanted. It would be worth it to see his face and feel as though he had finally won.
He would worry about this whole thing later. For now, he still had to figure out how to get them across the Fold without the help of the Conductor. He had to make sure they didn’t end up as Volcra food. He didn’t want to imagine what that would do to the royal family. How could they blame anyone but themselves for that? If their precious daughter became Volcra food, it was her own recklessness that had caused it. Or Jesper had thrown her off whatever they ended up taking.
Kaz nearly smiled to himself. Nearly. He realized that it was going to be a long process, one that included meticulous planning and sheer dumb luck. Maybe, the Darkling would find his Sun Summoner. If he did, they’d have to come here. She’d have to prove her worth.
A plan began to form in the bastard’s mind. If Alina Starkov were to appear, he’d be able to use that to his advantage. Crossing the Fold would be much easier with a woman who could summon the sun. All they’d have to do was play the roles of stowaways. Keeping Anastasia out of sight would be the most difficult part. She’d grown up around the Darkling. Surely he would recognize her. That would be an issue. But with a little grime and something to hide the golden hair of the Lantsovs, they’d be able to get away with it.
One day, he would find himself a tailor. Someone who would be able to disguise whoever they needed. He would not have to rely solely on his own mind and his own trickery. He’d be able to take a breath for once instead of being the only one with any sort of plans. But until that day came, he would think up whatever he could to disguise whoever needed it. Mainly himself and his newest addition.
Anastasia Lantsov would be a welcome change, for the most part. She’d be able to bring something new to the crew for however long she stayed with them. After all, it wasn’t as though he or Jesper were of royal blood. Having someone who knew the way those worlds worked may have been beneficial in the long run. At least, he could hope so.
It was not like the princess would be sticking around. Kaz knew this. He didn’t know why he assumed she’d help him with heists and grand plans. Maybe he had seen something in her. Something that had been part of him for as long as he could remember. Beyond his rage and his vengeance, beyond every broken piece of him that needed to be stitched back together. There had always been a longing.
Freedom.
He and every single crow that stood beside him craved it. They wanted to be more than they were, wanted to prove they were not just the outcasts and the broken members of society. He was more than just a boy with a cane, Inej was more than a girl with a past filled with trauma. Even Jesper was more than his gambling debts. They just had yet to find a way to prove it to the world. Or to themselves.
He had seen it in her eyes the night they had met. When Anastasia had stared a guard in the eye and demanded to know who he was, he had been able to see everything she wished to hide. She wasn’t the pretty princess with pink pointe shoes. She was something more. Something none of them knew what to do with.
He didn’t know if he wanted to discover what it was or not. Perhaps it was better left in the dark. Those shining parts of her that wanted to come out would be ruined soon enough. She would be sent to Fjerda sooner rather than later. Prince Rasmus would destroy every part of her that he could. She would find her ruin in Fjerda, while the rest of her family thought little of her for the rest of their lives. Bringing out those shining parts now seemed to be almost too cruel.
Kaz didn’t know if it was something he could actually do or not.
He knew for certain that he had to stop thinking of the princess. For now, she was a thorn in his side. She was nothing more than a girl who had tracked down a monster. He didn’t wish to know how she’d done it. Nor did he wish to know if she’d be able to do it again.
He didn’t even know if she had been tracking him. Perhaps she had just gotten lucky by finding him. That or there was something else going on. He didn’t understand why the princess would run in the first place. Why would she risk everything in order to wind up in a town that had been sacrificed to the Fold? What was the purpose of any of this?
If there was one thing that he hated, it was not knowing. Kaz thrived on being the most aware person in the room. It was his reason for the wraith, for his silence unless he needed to speak. There was a reason why Dirtyhands was feared. He knew more than anyone realized, he had more tricks up his sleeve than was comfortable. People couldn’t trust him. People didn’t want to trust him. Besides, having trust in the Barrel was the quickest way to get killed.
Warnings: cursing, fantasy violence, family drama
Escaping the palace had been the easy part. Nikolai had shown her all the secret pathways when they were children. They had played games with them. She’d always wanted to be the fairy while he was a pirate or some sort of scoundrel. She had remembered those childhood days fondly throughout her journey to Kribirsk. If she hadn’t, she would have been forced to think about the pain in her feet and the fact that she had been foolish enough to not beg her father’s permission.
At least then she would’ve had a carriage.
Upon reaching the city, she had paid handsomely for fresh clothes and lodging. She had bathed, scrubbing her skin raw, and dressed in a plain sky blue gown. She had attempted to plait her hair by herself, although it appeared messy and uneven. Anastasia had never known just how hopeless she was until she had gone days without a bath or her lady maids.
Nikolai would have been so disappointed in her.
She was fresh-faced when she came into the bar. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes took in every single person in the crowded bar. She had thought enough to keep her traveling cloak. There was no telling what any of the patrons would do if they discovered that the princess of Ravka stood before them.
Years of dancing and lessons in how a princess should behave made her elegant. Even in the dusty, dirty bar, she strode forward as though she was on the dance floor. Each of her movements timed to the waltz of her heartbeat. She knew that her gait alone would be cause for attention. What simple maiden walked as though the ground was a dance floor? What young woman acted as though the world should bow before her?
Anastasia had not been around enough women to know what the answer truly was.
She felt eyes on her the entire time she ordered her drink. Kvas like Nikolai had drank with her before he had gone. She had gagged and refused to ever touch any again. The smell still made her wish to gag, but she had to keep up some appearance. She took the glass from the barkeep, thanking him with a small smile. Anastasia then turned her attention to the rest of the patrons of the bar.
Most of them were her subjects. They looked hardened, as though life had done them no favors. They had lines along their features that she had not seen amongst the nobility. They looked as though dirt had encased them their entire lives. Her heart ached for them. Was there nothing that she could do? She didn’t have the power to change things. That power lived with her brothers. She would never be Ravka’s queen.
Her eyes landed on a small group in the corner of the bar. A boy with dark hair and a wild grin was playing with a revolver, his fingers fiddling on the hammer as though he was waiting for a reason to use it. A girl in deep, navy blue clothes sat beside him. Her features hidden by a hood and her body was nearly as still as the breath that had caught in Anastasia’s throat.
At the head of their table sat the guard from the ball. His eyes scanned the room, landing on her. She wondered how many times those eyes had stopped someone in their place. He seemed sharper than he had that night. The angles of his face were made of glass and were likely to cut her if she touched them. He was far too handsome for his own good.
Without thought of her safety, Anastasia headed over to the three of them. She felt as though she was vibrating, excitement coursing through her veins as she neared the table. The man had lied to her. He had snuck into her home. She would find out why. That would be a good enough reason for the last-ditch effort for freedom.
“Mr. Vanzin,” she lowered her hood as she spoke, keeping her back to the other patrons. “I’ve been looking for you.”
An amused smile graced her features as she looked down at him. He played off the idea of being at ease, his spine straight and his eyes glancing at her as though she were nothing more than a mouse. But his hands told a different story. The black gloves he wore could not hide the way he tensed. His fingers clenched in a fist that she was certain he would not use on her. He wouldn’t dare to create a scene.
“Your Highness,” he sounded bored as he regarded her. Anastasia was uncomfortably reminded of most of the people in the palace. “Had I known you were serious about seeing each other again, I wouldn’t have left so quickly.”
The Zemeni boy offered her a chair beside him. She did not like the grin that stretched across his lips. It was as though he was one of the big cats her nanny had told her about at bedtime. She took the seat nonetheless. This would not be the first time that she had found herself in a den of lions. She dined with monsters each night. She had danced with several the night she had met Mr. Vanzin.
“I’m afraid that I was curious about you, Mr. Vanzin,” she crossed her ankles, every bit the picture of a perfect princess. Rasmus would be getting a beautiful bride. “After all, it’s not every day that one manages to break into the Little Palace. Nor when a guard lies directly to my face.”
“I assure you,” his gaze could have cut through ice, “nothing about that night was personal.”
“How could it be?” Anastasia’s eyes sparkled with amusement. It was like she was verbally sparring with Niki once more. He danced around the questions he didn’t want to answer, made her feel as though she would go mad half the time. “You didn’t even tell me your real name.”
The air surrounding them seemed to grow thick with tension. The girl’s hands had disappeared underneath the table while the boy was rubbing the handles of his revolvers. Anastasia would not allow them to frighten her. She would not be afraid and she would not back down.
“You’re clever, Princess," his tone was filled with venom. "You should be careful. That’s a good way to get yourself killed.”
“Is that a threat, Mr. Vanzin?"
"Only advice,” he told her before he drank the glass of kvas that had been in front of him. His eyes were dark as he stared at her. Heat flooded her cheeks but she did not let it phase her.
Anastasia had been around princes and lordlings her entire life. She had been around beautiful men and around men who had assumed they were beautiful. She had never let them phase her. She would not let this conman get underneath her skin. Even if it did feel as though she were drowning when he looked at her like that.
“You’ll forgive me if I don’t take it,” she said, praying to the Saints that the dim of the bar was hiding her heated face. “Now, why don’t you tell me who you are?”
“So you can cart us off to a Ravkan prison?” It was a valid thought. Had she been any of the other members of her family, she more than likely would have called for help. But had she been anyone else in her family she wouldn’t have had to run away from her future.
Nikolai got to be the scholar, Vasily the king. All Anastasia was good for was a high bride price and to be her father’s favorite pawn. Her future had never been her own. It never would be.
“I assure you,” she leaned forward, strands of her hair falling into her face. “I would not turn myself in just to give you up.”
For a split second, his left eyebrow rose and an expression of confusion crossed his face. It was gone before Anastasia could blink. He wore his mask well. Almost as well as those in her court. Maybe he was like her. A royal running away from a future that did not exist.
“What do you mean?” The Zemeni boy piped up, his expression more confused than the other two. Although it was more amused than anything. “Turning yourself in just means you’re in as much trouble as we are.”
“It would appear that way, wouldn’t it?” She glanced at him, an amused smirk playing on her lips. “My family plans to ship me to Fjerda on the eve of my birthday. I’ll be wed to Prince Rasmus the week after,” she knew they didn’t need an explanation. Nor had they asked for one. However, she needed to say something. Needed to tell someone how angry she was about the entire thing.
Nikolai was gone. This band of criminals seemed to be the next best thing.
“You decided to leave your cushy palace and come after me as a result of your impending wedding?” His face remained impassive, something that she could not read. She hated that he wore the mask of a courtier. “I don’t know if I’m impressed or insulted.”
“I hope it’s impressed,” Anastasia kept her eyes on his, not daring to back down from the demon in front of her. “At least enough to allow me to know your name.”
“It’s Kaz,” he did not tell her his surname. She supposed it did not matter in the long run. It wasn’t as though she would be spending long with the man. He would more than likely give her up before she had a chance to find Nikolai. Before she had a chance to see the sea and feel the wind in her hair.
Anastasia wished for freedom. A caged bird sang a lonely song. The song in her heart wanted more than that. It wanted to be among the greats, among the waltzes that she had adored from childhood. She wanted to live her life as she chose. If only so she could spend every second of each day surrounded by the notes, feeling the melodies in her heart and the beats in her heart. It was not a dream that any of Ravka’s nobility would have understood.
None but Nikolai.
“Kaz,” his name felt rough on her tongue. The syllables were brutal and cutting. Just like the man in front of her. “Perhaps we could make a deal.”
“What sort of deal would you offer?” His tone was indifferent but the spark in his eyes told her that he was at least intrigued.
“I want passage. My brother is attending university in Kerch. I wish to see him a final time before I leave. I will keep the guards off of your back,” she said, keeping any passion or hope from her voice. Vasily had once told her that negotiating meant selling your soul. That having too much enthusiasm would give her opponent the upper hand. Maybe he’d had a point.
“We can avoid the guards without you, Princess,” she hated the way he said it. Like it was an insult instead of her honorific.
“I can also offer payment,” she said almost lazily. She slipped her hand into the pocket of her cloak, pulling out a ring that should not have been in her possession.
She tossed it onto the table. The emerald sparkled in the light, the face perfect in every way. The Lantsov Emerald had been the stuff of legend when she was younger. As she had grown up, she had realized that it was nothing more than just a pretty gem. One that her parents prized above all others, but a gem nonetheless.
It was supposed to go to Vasily’s future bride, but Anastasia had found it unfair. She had stolen it from her mother’s chest in the dead of night. Then, she had escaped using those secret passages. She had known the emerald would come in handy. Although she had assumed it would be used to prove she was the Princess of Ravka. Not payment.
Kaz looked at the emerald for a second before he looked back at her. “I’m listening.”
“The Lantsov Emerald has been in my family for generations. It’s Ravka’s greatest treasure. I’m offering it to you for safe passage to and from Kerch. Also, protection while we’re there. I’m willing to add three million kruge for you and your crew upon my safe return.”
She doubted that her parents had that much money. Or that they would be willing to pay that much for their only daughter’s safety. She was ruining their plans. But she didn’t care. They would ship her off without her ever seeing Nikolai again. They would sell her before she had the chance to find herself.
Kaz looked at her, his gaze was unyielding and colder than the ice of Fjerda. She wondered if he had learned to be cold or if it had just come naturally to him. Was he a monster of a man? Or a man who had become a monster? There was a story there. Something that was hiding beyond his eyes, beyond the facade he painted on. The facade that she only hoped was a facade. She didn’t know what she would have done had he admitted to it all being real.
“Do you expect any of this to be easy, Princess?” He questioned, watching her as though she held a dagger in her hand instead of a valuable emerald.
“No, quite the opposite actually.” Anastasia was not an idiot. She knew they would have to cross the Fold, find passage on a ship, and prey to all the Saints that she was not followed by her parent’s guards. She doubted they had even noticed her missing. The Sun Summoner disappeared at the perfect tie. She wouldn’t have been able to slip away without the distraction.
“We’ll have to wait for a skiff,” Kaz sat up straighter, almost as if to intimidate her. She matched his posture, not daring to back down for a single second. “No one knows how long that might take. A ship to Kerch will be another question entirely.”
“I assure you, Kaz,” the name stabbed her throat, “I am prepared to stay as long as necessary. I will not go to Fjerda without seeing my brother.”
“Your brother will not be easy to find. Do you know how many rich sons have been sent to university?”
“Nikolai will be quite easy for me to find.” He didn’t need to know that he would have an angry prince to deal with during all of this. Once Nikolai heard of her disappearance, he would be angry. He would claim she had no idea what she was doing. That she was being reckless and stubborn. That there had been no reason whatsoever for her to leave the safety of the palace. He would have told her that she was stupid for trusting a man who had broken into their home.
She would take every second of his tongue lashing. As long as it kept her from never seeing him again.
“I will have other business in Kerch,” Kaz stated as he watched her. He was looking for any sign of weakness. She knew that he would try to betray her. He would see her as another piece on his chessboard. Just as everyone else had.
She was no longer willing to be a game piece.
“I’m quite aware of that,” there was no reason for her to be the only job he’d take on. Even if she was offering more money than he’d probably ever see in his life. Money she did not know if she had. “Now, do we have a deal?”
He did not offer her his hand, unlike what she had seen other men do with her brothers. She didn’t know if she was supposed to be offended by the slight or not. Surely it had more to do with how he felt about the deal than anything to do with her. That or her nails were in a worse state than she had previously realized.
“The deal is the deal, Princess.” She wondered if she would ever hear anything else come from his lips. Would he call her by her honorific the entire time? Or would he loosen up? She didn’t think it was important enough to complain about it. No matter how grating it was to hear him use it with nothing but venom in his tone.
Anastasia picked the ring up from the table, giving him a kind smile. “You’ll get this once I’ve been returned to Ravka, safe and sound.”
Kaz said nothing, just nodded his head as she stood from the table. At least he knew better than to fight her on when he would get his payment. It was probably for the benefit of her peace of mind. If she trusted him not to slit her throat, then maybe she would be less likely to put up a defense. She didn’t know for sure.
“Enjoy your night,” she told the three, giving them a curtsey. Her skirts flourished around her, almost making her wistful for a night of dancing underneath the stars. “I expect to see you here tomorrow.”
“Of course,” he nodded his head once, looking at his crew instead of her. She wondered if they thought she was all talk. Surely a princess would run from danger instead of towards it. She should have been trapped in her golden cage with her jewels and her grand piano that she was not allowed to touch. They would assure she’d change her mind before entering the Fold.
The look on his face told her everything that she needed to know. He may not have expected her to come after him, but he knew now to expect her to back out. To do anything other than what she had said. Surely he should have realized by now that Anastasia was a woman of her word. She’d found him. She’d stolen the greatest heirloom her family had and run away from home. She had done everything that no one would expect from her.
The same things they would expect from Nikolai.
The thought nearly blinded her as she stepped into the sunlight. Had she begun missing her brother so much that she had decided to act as though she were him? He would have told her that it was a waste of her own potential. He would blame himself for making her a mirror of him. It would be bad enough to have one of them roaming the streets of Ravka. They didn’t need two.
But she knew that she was not like her brother. She didn’t see the world as one big game that she had to win. She just wanted to dance, to feel the music filling her veins and speaking in it’s beautiful secret language to her soul. She knew it was a silly wish, one that she would never truly get to experience. She’d have to marry a man she didn’t love. She would have to dance only when it was appropriate. Anastasia would lock herself up for her country.
She just needed a chance to dance before she did so.
Kerch may have been known for it’s criminal underbelly, but it was the only safe place for her. She would be far from whatever trouble the Sun Summoner was bringing. She would be able to find Nikolai. Anastasia would be able to yell at him for hours at a time for not writing her back as much as he should. She would be free for the first time in her life.
As long as she did not get her throat cut or held for a ransom it should be perfectly safe.
Anastasia headed back to her room. It was not safe to dawdle on street corners. She had no idea if her parents had discovered that she was missing. She had no idea if anyone would be out looking for her. Vasily wouldn’t be. He had too much to do, too much to prepare for. The time for him to take the throne was almost upon them.
He had less time for his little sister than normal. She felt as though Nikolai had abandoned her. Perhaps this unwanted isolation had been the truth behind her desperate need to flee. Perhaps knowing that she was alone, and would be for the rest of her miserable life, had been what drove her to running as far as she could from the walls of her gilded cage.
She slipped up the creaky stairs, using the gentle creaks as though they were a melody. She craved music. Craved hearing the waltzes, the symphonies. She needed it as though it was oxygen. She needed to hear every beat, feel every note. Alas, her life would not go in that direction. She would sooner end up hidden behind blocks of ice than in a symphony hall. Especially after what she had done.
As the princess entered the room she had rented, she did not notice a figure standing silently in the corner.
She took off her cloak, tossing it down on a small chair in the corner of the room. Her back was to the silent woman, never once noticing her as she began to freshen up. The day was still long, the sun having only just hit the middle of the sky. She planned on actually doing something besides make shady deals in the back of a pub.
Anastasia lifted her face, water dripping from her eyelashes. She caught sight of the woman in the mirror, her spine instantly stiffening.
“Your Highness,” her voice was soft as she stepped out from the shadows. “We’ve a lot to discuss.”
genyadavid is the best ship of the entire grishaverse, fight me idc
the first time i hear matthias call nina “my love” all bets are off, i will start sobbing uncontrollably
pls kaz hitting the darkling with his cane and the darkling throwing some shadows at him and kaz just ducks and smirks and goes “is that all you got?” PLSSS
i hate all men but when he… makes himself my villain <3
-
“The thought filled me with grief, grief for the dreams we’d shared, for the love I’d felt, for the hopeful girl I would never be again.”
-
“Fight me as long as you’re able.
You will find I have far more practice with eternity”
