A York Peppermint Pattie being split open next to your ear, porcelain teacups being clinked together, a grand piano being played in an empty room, leaves crunching underneath your feet, coffee beans being ground up, the pages of a book being turned absentmindedly, a nightingale, foam soap dispensers, a clock ticking, a computer being typed on with quick fingers, that sound when someone is messaging your head through your hair, silk being pressed against silk, crickets on a summer night, air howling by an ajar door, knocking on wood

Holiday spiced candles, those type that are always red and have a hint of cinnamon in them. Sandalwood. Classic looking motorcycles with those strong rubber scented tires. Maraschino cherries. The smoke from fireworks. Campfires and marshmallows that accidentally catch on fire. Freshly washed hair. Your lover’s sweatshirt. Sweat, let’s be honest people. Apple anything: pie, strudels, applesauce, apple juice. Spray paint (not acrylic, there’s a difference I swear) and rubber cement. Strawberry jam. Broomstick polisher and butterbeer. What you picture whiskey smelling like, not necessarily how it actually smells. Gummy bears (fight me) or milk chocolate.

Freshly cut grass. Honey and lemon tea. Freshly washed laundry. Walking through a garden with flowers that have just bloomed. Alfredo pasta. The scent when you walk into a Lush store. Rusty metal things like bikes or wrenches. Kettlecorn and cotton candy. Raspberry vinaigrette salad dressing. Like your childhood home when you walked back in, coming home from school. Speaking of school, colored pencils. Not necessarily coffee but coffee shops, those little cafés with little patisseries and comfy cushions. Wool scarves. Coconuts, all the way, maybe with some pineapple. Vanilla ice cream.

Update

So it’s been a while. Oops. At first I fell into a little bit of a slump and then school started and I got a job so I wasn’t really focused on this. After all that I realized I didn’t really enjoy writing, for a lack of better words, for other people. All I could thing about when writing the things I did get to was that the character I made for the tv show or movie wouldn’t do that or react to a situation that way. And I couldn’t write what my characters would do and say because people didn’t want my characters they wanted a general enough piece that anyone could relate to and read and it not be too specific.

Ramble over my point is is that I only really wanna write for my characters and if you like that kind of thing cool and if you don’t that’s also cool I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But if anyone gives a shit I can post a list of my characters and people can ask things about them but if they don’t I’ll probably just be posting their stories here and possibly on Wattpad. I may also post some original stories if I feel like it.

Anyways that’s all. Just wanted to let people know who requested things that those requests weren’t going to get done by me specifically.

s.b Holdiate - Ch.10 Halloween

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female Reader
Word Count: 7.3k
Synopsis: Her and Sirius have a complicated relationship and things get even more complicated when they agree to start a fake relationship to get their parents off their back    
Warnings: swearing, getting drunk, costumes ;), there’s nothing wrong with what she does at the end, but she thinks it’s wrong because of her upbringing

Masterlist|Holidate Masterlist

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

I felt like a complete fool after I had gone to Sirius’. Nothing had come out of it and I felt stupid that I had originally thought something would.

My mother wasn’t speaking to me and my father was only communicating with me when he had to. The worst part was that my mother probably assumed that Sirius and I were dating. She already thought I was stupid enough for rejecting Tiberius, but I didn’t want to know what she’d do if she found that I didn’t have anyone to fall back on.

I guess part of me wondered if I should have stayed with Tiberius. It’s not like he was a bad boyfriend. I would have had my respectable and comfortable life. I would have been currently preparing for the wedding. I would probably have had to put in my notice at work because my mother nor Tiberius would want me to be working. I would have been miserable because I wouldn’t be with Sirius.

It went like this.

Everything I did reminded me of Sirius. All I could do was picture him sitting next to me on my bed on Easter whenever I was in my room. When I was in the kitchen all I could think about was when I had stood up for him to my mother on Mother’s Day. When I was working I’d be seeing him in the people around me, even if they never could compare to him.

And for a second I’d forget that everything was wrong. It was almost as if I had convinced myself that everything went right that night I went to his house on Father’s Day. Then I’d remember how he pulled away and didn’t say anything and I went home like an idiot.

How could I be so foolish? I’d think. But then I’d remember how he always apologised and how he had given me such a thoughtful gift and how he had respected all of my high maintenance wishes during our fake relationship. So I’d start to blame him. Heledmeon. This was the boy who relentlessly annoyed me as a kid and who I grew to despise during my teenage years. This was the boy who came on my birthday just to tell me that he forgot we weren’t dating when he knew I was with someone else.

Then, my mind would wander to the future. I was twenty now and I had no possible husbands and who would even want me after the humiliating way my last two relationships had ended?

So I tried to think of something else, until minutes later I’d see something that reminded me of Sirius and I’d go down the stupid spiral again.

I was so overwhelmed and frustrated and a part of me thought I was going insane.

And I knew I definitely was when a few days after Father’s Day I received a letter from Sirius. I snatched the letter a bit too roughly from the owl and felt bad so I gave it extra treats. It was nibbling at my hand while I stared at the stupid neat cursive writing I had gotten all too familiar with.

How is my princess? I hope you’re feeling okay. You shouldn’t be worried, but if you are the only person you should be worried about is yourself. I’m here for you.

Sirius xx

It felt like he was taunting me. I’m here for you. But was he really? He wasn’t there for me on Father’s Day.

I went to reply straight away. There were a few things I’d like to say to him. I sat at my desk and pulled a quill out, the ink dripping haphazardly on my desk as I started scribbling. I’m sure he wouldn’t even notice if my writing was messy.

Sirius,

I began, but then I began tapping the end of my quill on the desk. Maybe I didn’t know what to say to him.

I’m not okay.

That was a good start.

I’m not sure why I went over to your house that night, maybe you should forget it ever happened. I wish Icould forget that it ever happened.

The words were coming much easier now and I was writing them down as quickly as I could.

Why didn’t anything happen? Do you think anything could happen between us?

I paused as I realised how desperate it sounded. I couldn’t send this. And I knew I wasn’t going to, but for some reason I continued.

I could’ve been planning the wedding of my dreams right now but I stupidly gave it up for someone who doesn’t even like me back. I think I’m going insane. Not to be dramatic, but if you were sorted in Slytherin, I think I’d be planning our wedding right now.

I let my quill fall on the desk and quickly ripped the note up before throwing it away. I was fighting back tears. Everything was falling apart. Word had quickly gotten out that I had rejected Tiberius, like I thought it would, and after everything that had happened with Sirius this past year, I was sure that there wouldn’t be a lot of words in my favour.

Before I could start crying I put Sirius’ note in the top desk of my drawer where all the other notes he had written for me were stored. His stupid, perfect, elegant script was standing out at me, mocking me, spiting me.

I never replied to him.

~~~

The next celebration was Halloween and unfortunately, it was at Grimmauld Place so I had a pretty good feeling Sirius was going to make an appearance and that was just something else to add to the list of things I was losing my mind over.

I wasn’t entirely sure why the noble wizarding society celebrated Halloween. No one ever really got dressed up besides the young people. I was sure it was just an excuse to eat good food and drink bubbles. Not that I was complaining. I really needed an excuse to eat good food and let the bubbles help me forget how shit my life was becoming.

The outfits were always pretty tame. Most of the older individuals would wear masks and call it a day and the younger ones usually just went with something that was very low key and easily accessible in their wardrobe.

Last year I went as an angel. I wore a short white dress and charmed some wings to flutter, and a halo to light up.

“You’re not a very convincing angel,” an annoying voice murmured in my ear that night. I turned to face the familiar voice and scowled. Sirius was wearing black slacks which actually fit him quite well and a white t-shirt with black suspenders. There was a fake blood stain on one side of his shirt and he had a fake muggle gun in his pocket.

“And what are you meant to be?” I asked boredly.

“A mafia boss,” he responded as if it was obvious. I looked him up and down and gave him an unconvincing look.

“At least people know what I am.” I shrugged, walking towards one of the tables and grabbing a chocolate. Unfortunately, he followed. “And of course I’m a convincing angel, I’m angelic.” He laughed loudly as I unwrapped the chocolate and ate it.

“That’s what everything thinks,” he said, “but only if they knew the way you spoke to me.” I rolled my eyes at him. “An angel wouldn’t roll their eyes at me,” he argued. “Sometimes you hurt my feelings, y'know, and I don’t think that’s very angelic.” He gave me a dramatic pout and I gave him a judgemental look.

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe that’s your fault? If you’re the only one who doesn’t see me as an angel then you’re the anomaly.” I shrugged and he smirked at me.

“Please,” he said, “I’m not trying to fool anyone, I know I’m a demon.”

“I’d say you’re more of a devil,” I hummed, as if I was really thinking about it. He went to say something but I saw Narcissa walking past and quickly called out to her and left Sirius by himself.

It was weird to think that at that moment I had no idea what was to happen in the following year. I had no idea how close Sirius and I were going to become.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to go as this year. I was so busy with work and all of these horrendous thoughts constantly swirling through my head that, if I was being honest, I hadn’t even thought about it.

Now, it was the night before Halloween and I had no idea what to do. It was midnight and I was exhausted. I thought maybe I could go as an angel again. I usually would never repeat an outfit in such a big crowd, but I was desperate and I think, at the moment, people had much worse things to say about me than the fact that I was an outfit repeater.

I contemplated asking my mother in the morning, but we were still playing the silent game and I wasn’t going to admit defeat nor was I willing for her to find out that I had rejected Tiberius for nothing.

The light in my walk-in wardrobe was harsh on my tired eyes and I groaned as I flicked through my clothes and found a lack of costumes. When I got to the end I gave them a much larger push than what was necessary in frustration, moving them away from the wall and revealing a piece of fabric that I had shoved in the corner.

For a brief second of ignorant bliss I forgot what it was and bent down to pick it up. I huffed when I realised it was that stupid outfit Sirius had bought me on Valentine’s Day. I rolled my eyes at the memory and threw it quickly back in the corner, folding my arms and huffing again as I walked to sit on the seat on my dresser.

Stupid Sirius.

Stupid Sirius who calls me princess. Stupid Sirius who found a new nickname for me when I told him not to call me darling. Stupid Sirius who tried to call me princess to annoy me, but continued when he found out I liked it because, foolishly, that was all I ever wanted to be. A princess. A princess with a respectable and comfortable life. His princess.

I sat up straighter at the thought. Of course. A princess.

~~~

My parents were dressed elegantly, with masks covering their eyes. We were waiting outside Grimmauld Place waiting until more people moved in so we could escape the cool air. The sun had just set and with no beaming light, it was chilly outside.

We stood there in awkward silence until we were let in. I could hear gothic music playing from inside and I wanted to comment on it, but we hadn’t spoken all afternoon and stubbornly, I wasn’t going to be the one to break it.

“Welcome,” Walburga’s face was tight as she looked at the three of us. She sent me a relaxed smile, but it was so quick I wouldn’t have been surprised if I imagined it.

“Thank you for having us.” My mother gave her a tight lipped smile remembering the last time they spoke and we walked in. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I was confident in my guess that my mother and Walburga hadn’t been on speaking terms since the Lestrange engagement which made me quite sad considering they were close before.

I departed from my parents and made my way around to greet my friends. A few people complimented me on my outfit, but most people were either unashamedly staring at me as if they couldn’t believe I had shown up or were giving me sympathetic smiles. I wasn’t sure what was worse.

I understood it. I guessed. A lot of people originally thought I was an idiot for going out with Sirius Black, and then most of them would have thought the scene between Sirius and myself was too dramatic, and now that everyone knew I had turned down Tiberius, I couldn’t even imagine what they thought of me.

I walked around and admired the decorations, trying to ignore the stares from the people around me. There were carved pumpkins illuminating the room and cobwebs hanging from all surfaces with fake spiders charmed to look like they were spinning the web. There were some ghost and monster artefacts lying around as well, but more importantly, there were chocolates and lollies thrown around the table and I couldn’t resist. I went to grab a chocolate and began to unwrap it before I was interrupted.

“Princess?” I didn’t even get a chance to taste the chocolate.

“What?” I turned around to face him and scowl, but my mouth was left open in shock instead. I had worn a pink glittery dress. It was fitted around my chest and the sleeves hung loosely around my biceps. It flared out at the bottom and I was wearing sparkly heels to match the sparkly diamond tiara in my hair that I, fortunately, already had. Sirius had come in an old fashioned suit. He had a puffy white shirt on and a navy blue vest, and in his long curly hair that looked as neat as I had ever seen it was a golden plastic crown. “What the fuck?”

I frowned as I looked him up and down and he did the same to me, but he was beaming. I was suddenly a bit annoyed that Sirius had matched me. I thought I was so smart for coming as a princess and maybe a part of me wanted to see his reaction to it because I thought he wouldn’t even expect it, but apparently he had because he was a prince.

“I knew you’d come as a princess.” I frowned because I didn’t even know I was coming as a princess over twelve hours ago.

“Don’t you think this is more of a couples outfit?” The chocolate was beginning to make my fingers sticky so I ate it, focusing on my chewing to get my mind off this.

I hadn’t even considered how bad it would look for me to be seen with Sirius so soon after I had broken up with and then rejected Nott because I was so affronted. Everything was so confusing and I just wanted people to like me and to be that golden child once more, but I just wasn’t sure how.

“Oh.” Sirius looked a bit flustered and I tried to remember a time I had ever seen him like this. “I mean I guess, I just thought it would be funny.”

“Sure,” I rolled my eyes and patted his chest before walking away. I didn’t really know what to say. My heart was pounding and my palms were hot so I grabbed a glass of champagne from a server passing by and drank it in one sip. I don’t know why but I thought it would cool me down. Maybe it would relax me and that was exactly what I needed.

The most drunk I had ever gotten at one of these events was on New Years Eve when Sirius and I were still doing our fake relationship charade. I didn’t like getting too drunk because it was never a good image. But my image wasn’t in everyone’s favour at the moment and I figured if there was ever a chance for me to get absolutely smashed on bubbles, now was the time.

Besides, I really needed to stop thinking about everything that had happened to me these past few months. I needed a break from the constant thought of Sirius in my mind and how stupid I was to ever think he liked me back. And from the constant nagging of my mother’s voice in my head telling me how foolish I was to reject Nott’s proposal. I needed the worries of what would happen to me to go away and I was feeling pretty confident that if I drank enough champagne, everything would just disappear and life would become easier. For just a few hours.

I walked around the room, trying to seem natural as I tried to find another server with champagne. As I made my way across the room I noticed some of Sirius’ friends were there. Only James, Lily, Peter, and Remus. I foolishly wondered where Harry was.

I wondered why his friends were even here. I had seen them at his birthday celebrations, but they had never shown up to these high society events. I wondered what he had to do to convince Walbruga to let in a bunch of blood traitors. If I didn’t have a million other things to worry about, I would have dwelled on it.

Instead, I found another server and drank the glass in one sip. When I looked up I made the mistake of making eye contact with Lily Potter who waved over at me and motioned for me to come to her as if we were good friends.

There were alarm bells going off in my head. Firstly, I found it strange that she was being so friendly to me after being so not-friendly my entire Hogwarts experience. Especially after I had broken up with one of her good friends. Surely he had told them and had said horrible things about me. It was the Sirius thing to do. Then, there was the issue that she was a muggleborn and even if my reputation was already tarnished, I knew the one way to make it worse was to be seen talking to a muggleborn.

I looked around to make sure she was waving at me and not someone else, and when I turned back, she was already making her way towards me.

“Hi!” She beamed and I thought she also must have had something to drink because it was a stark contrast to the way she greeted me on St. Patrick’s Day.

She walked over to me and gave me a hug and I tensed as I quickly wrapped one arm around her and immediately pulled away. I looked over at his other friends who waved at me and I awkwardly waved back. They were sitting on one of the lounges in the corner. James and Lily were wearing matching pirate costumes, Peter had D.I.Y mouse ears resting on his head, and I wasn’t sure what or who Remus was, but he had on a long coat and was carrying a book I wasn’t familiar with.

The right thing to do was to quickly tell her that she looked nice and that I hope her and her family are well before politely excusing myself before anyone saw I was talking to her, but the champagne must have started to effect me because instead I stupidly asked, “Where’s Harry?”

“He’s at home,” she pouted, “this is our first night without him.” For some reason, I frowned. “It’s so cute that you and Sirius wore matching outfits.” I gave her a weary look and let out an awkward chuckle. She seemed happy and I was very confused, but I didn’t really want to talk to her about whatever was going on between myself and Sirius Black.

“I guess we just know each other too well.” It wasn’t a lie.

She practically squealed and I tried to steady my breathing as I thought about how bad this would look to anyone watching. Sure, my life was already about to be over, but I could get out of this and find a respectable husband, get married, have children and pretend that this last year never even happened. But to be seen with a muggleborn? My life would be over forever.

“Are you stealing my friends, princess?” There was an arm over my shoulder and I shrugged it off.

“I was just saying how cute you two look.” I could see Lily smiling out of my peripheral vision as I glared up at Sirius who was giving me an amused smirk.

“Don’t we always?” He asked before breaking eye contact with me. Lily rolled her eyes and turned around as James called out to her and she walked away, leaving me alone with Sirius.

“Are you okay?” I nodded, but I didn’t look at him. “I have to admit something.” For the tiniest second I thought that I was going to get what I went over to his house on Father’s Day for and I quickly turned to face him. “I never told them we broke up.” I was so ready to hear the words I had been longing to hear that it took me a moment to process what he said.

“What?”

“Well it just happened all of a sudden and I thought that we’d get back together, but then you got with Nott and I didn’t want to tell them that because then it would seem like you left me for him, which you kinda did, and-”

“You need to stop talking.” I was on the verge of tears for some reason and I looked up at the ceiling so they wouldn’t fall.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said.

We stood in silence for a moment as I continued to stare at the ceiling. Sirius didn’t say anything and I was grateful because I didn’t want him to see me cry and I knew that if I had to speak, I would. So he just watched me try not to. I half wished he would leave, but the other half of me was glad he didn’t.

“Aren’t you two just the cutest matching couple?” I turned away from the ceiling when I heard Regulus’ voice. “It’s so cute I want to vomit.” He rested an arm on Sirius’ shoulder and finished whatever was in his cup. He was wearing devil horns and he had a plastic pitchfork in the hand that wasn’t holding his drink.

“Shut up, Regulus.” Sirius groaned, but I only smiled at him. Regulus seemed to like that I was on his side because he continued.

“I’m so happy you made up, it was getting boring seeing Sirius all mopey and sad,” he pouted dramatically, “did he tell you that mother even let him invite his blood traitor friends because he was so upset about it?” He turned to smirk at Sirius whose jaw was clenched as he glared at Regulus. I had been under a few of Sirius Black’s glares, but I had never seen any as intense as this one. Normally, I would’ve laughed at his dramatic nature, or teased Sirius about this information that Regulus had so kindly shared, but I was feeling a little fuzzy and thought that if he was that upset about me breaking up with him, he should’ve done something about it.

“Who said we made up?” I folded my arms across my chest and gave an innocent look to them both.

Regulus let out an awkward chuckle and cleared his throat.

“That’s embarrassing, isn’t it? I need another drink.” He pushed himself off Sirius, gave him a look that I didn’t understand, and quickly walked off leaving me alone to avoid Sirius’ gaze.

“What does that mean? Are you still angry at me?” I wanted to walk away, but for some reason I stood still and met his gaze, giving him an unimpressed look.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” I couldn’t really explain it because I felt like he wouldn’t understand and I didn’t need this to escalate and turn into something else to make me mad at him.

“You’re insane,” he grumbled and I huffed at him.

“You’reinsane.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes at my horrible attempt to get the last word in.

He was so infuriating. The whole reason I had said no to Nott was so that I could be with him, and maybe it wasn’t his fault for wanting me back, but it was his fault for making me think that he wanted me. Right? But then, did he really show that he wanted me?

I was working myself up. This was why I needed more champagne. I wanted to stop thinking about this.

“I also need another drink.“ I stormed off and I heard him go to say something, but then sigh in frustration before I assume he went to go and sit down with his friends.

I walked around the room, casually trying to find a server with more champagne. When I did, I drank it again in one gulp. Usually, my goal was to drink just enough to keep me sane and confident while talking to all of these people, but tonight, I just wanted to forget everything that had happened this year. Which was why I needed another one.

“You shouldn’t drink so fast, you’ll get a headache.” A voice said as I turned to pass my empty glass to the server and I frowned as I picked up another.

“I thought you weren’t talking to me,” I said to my mother, holding the new glass in my hand. I also didn’t want to have this conversation right now. I knew I made a stupid decision and I didn’t need my mother knowing that.

“I saw you talking to those blood traitors,” she whispered as if someone might hear us over the music and chatter. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I was scared because if she saw, then who else?

“They were speaking to me,” I shrugged. What was worse was that Lily wasn’t a blood traitor, she was a muggleborn. But I wasn’t going to remind my mother of that.

“Like that makes a difference to these people.” She rolled her eyes and I nervously tugged at one of the layers on my dress. “You’ve already ruined us by rejecting Nott and going back to Sirius.” At his name I shot a glance over at him. I was sad and I was sure that it was reflected in my face because when my mother followed my gaze she gave me a doubtful look. “You went to Sirius’ house on Father’s Day, didn’t you?”

I felt like I was being interrogated and I knew what was coming.

“Yes.” She couldn’t prove anything from that.

“So you could be with Sirius?” I was a horrible liar and I was scared she’d see right through me.

“That was the plan.” When I didn’t look at her she put two and two together.

“You stupid girl,” she emphasised each word and I felt a wave of heat wash over me in humiliation. I already knew how stupid I was, I didn’t want her knowing that or reminding me. “But you’re not together?”

“No,” I mumbled softly in hopes she wouldn’t hear. She let out a manic laugh.

“I was eventually going to forgive you because I thought you at least had Sirius to fall back on. You and Tiberius were only together for a few short months, I could have made sure everyone forgot about them. But you gave up on a respectable marriage with no one to fall back on?” She laughed and I felt like a child again. So helpless. “You’re not my daughter.”

A server walked past with more champagne and my mother took one and walked away, mumbling under breath and shaking her head. I drank the champagne in my hand in one sip before getting a new one from the same server. I felt like I was going to cry so I quickly walked away, trying to find a less crowded place.

I think what upset me the most was knowing that I was right. Everyone here thought I was an idiot. That I was stupid. I was never going to be the golden child again and that was the hardest hit I had received from reality.

I sighed when I realised how alone I was. I had gotten used to having Sirius on my arm and annoying me at these events and now, I had absolutely no one.

I made my way over to sit on one of the empty chairs in the corner and I skulled my drink so I could get a new one from one of the servers as I walked past.

When I sat down I felt it hit me. My legs turned to jelly and I was feeling very light-headed. I decided to give myself a little break as I held the new champagne glass loosely in my hand. I also didn’t want to have to stand up and find another one anytime soon, my feet were already hurting from my shoes and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hold myself up either.

I was happy to sit down and be upset with my thoughts, but before I could process what was happening I could hear a chair scraping towards me and before I knew it I was sitting next to Tiberius Nott.

“Hi,” he said. I stared at him dumbly.

“Hi,” I eventually muttered back. What was going on?

“How are you?” He didn’t seem angry, but he did seem upset and now I was even more sad then what I was when I decided to sit here like a loner.

“I’m really sorry.” I frowned up at him and he gave me a sad smile back.

“It’s okay,” he said, but it wasn’t convincing. “I just,” he turned to face me better, “I don’t understand what you see in Black.” It was like my eyes knew where he was because they instantly found him. I turned back to Tiberius to be respectful. “You could have so much more, do you know how many people in this room would do anything to be with you?” I gave him a confused look.

“No they wouldn’t.” I wanted to tell him that my parents, that I, had been trying to find someone my whole life and I kept coming up short, but I didn’t want to sound more pathetic than what I already felt.

“They would,” he insisted, “everyone’s mother loves you, you’re pretty, smart, and successful, and there are some eligible people out there if you look properly.” I couldn’t hold his gaze anymore so I looked down at the champagne glass in my hand. “And even after all of this, I know if you asked any one of these guys absolutely anything, their answer would always be yes.” I felt like he was telling me that I shouldn’t wait for people to ask me and should instead ask them, but I wasn’t sure why considering our history. I thought he would be mad at me, so I wasn’t expecting this.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I don’t want to see you throw away the life you deserve. I got to know you quite well in those few months, do you really want to give everything up for a boy?” I wanted to laugh and say, ‘What? And give everything up for a manlike you?’ but even though my head was incredibly fuzzy, I knew that would be cruel when Tiberius was trying to help me.

There was so much to think about and I couldn’t meet his eyes. He let out a sigh and rested the palms of his hands on thighs. “Do with that what you will, I’m sorry we didn’t work out.”

I wanted to tell him that I was sorry too. That I didn’t mean for us to end on bad terms and that I didn’t want to absolutely humiliate him in front of both our families. I had been the one humiliated in the past, I knew how horrible it felt.

I also wanted to thank him for giving me this confidence boost which I currently needed, but he was gone and I was sitting by myself again.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised he was right. Just because I had two failed relationships in the span of a few months didn’t mean that I couldn’t still be the golden child. If anything, it should look bad on Sirius and Tiberius for not being able to keepthegolden child.

I finished the rest of the champagne in my glass which was a bad idea because I wobbled when I stood up.

But maybe, no one cared what I had done or what I did or what I was about to do. No one was staring at me anymore, they all had enough champagne in their systems to become so self absorbed that my issues were nothing to them.

I looked around the room and I found him.

Even Rosier was a year younger than me. He was in Slytherin, he came from a pureblood family, and he was cute. We had always been friendly growing up, but because we weren’t in the same year we were never exceptionally close, despite being in the same friend group. I wasn’t sure what I planned to gain out of this, all I knew was that he was attractive and Sirius didn’t like him.

Regulus had always been close with him and I knew that Regulus might tease me for the decisions I was about to make, but he would never judgeme for it. At least, that’s what I thought.

So I wobbled over to Regulus and Evan who were sitting on one of the main lounges. I squished myself right between them and pushed my hair back so it was out of my face.

“Hello,” Regulus chuckled.

“Hi,” I giggled, looking directly at Evan and giving my back to Regulus. Evan was smiling back, a look of amusement crossing his face as he took me in. We were staring at each other and I was blinking fast and I was feeling dizzy, but I tried not to let it show.

“Are you drunk?” Regulus asked and I flickered my eyes back and over to him for a second before returning to Evan.

“Why would you ask that?” I was still giggling and Evan chuckled. Regulus scoffed and for a moment I thought the scoff had negative connotations associated with it. “I haven’t spoken to you in so long.” I pouted up at Evan and he smirked.

“Too long.” I felt the lounge lift up and noticed that I no longer felt Regulus’ knee against mine, but my attention was focused only on Evan. “How have you been?” I wanted to tell him that I hadn’t been doing great. That I was actually really upset and was having an almost quarter-life crisis, but I knew even in my horrendously drunk state that that wasn’t going to turn this conversation in the direction I wanted it to go.

“You know me,” I shrugged, but I never got to finish the rest of the sentence because someone was standing in front of me and clearing their throat.

“Can we talk?” I glared up at the prince standing in front of me.

“I’m talking to Evan,” I motioned between us, giving him an incredulous look.

“Well you can talk another time, this is more important.” I stared up at him, raising an eyebrow at him. I wasn’t going to move and he wasn’t going to force me to move so I guess we were stuck at this stalemate.

“Evan, move.” His voice was low and it sounded rough so Evan stood up.

“Hey!” I complained, reaching my arm out for Evan, but he was standing too far away and I couldn’t reach him. “That’s rude.”

“I’ll talk to you later.” He gave me a soft smile, but then he glared at Sirius. I wasn’t sure where Regulus was, but Sirius was now sitting next to me and facing me. I turned so he got my side profile.

“Are we okay?” He asked.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” I was getting sick of him continuously asking me this. I still wasn’t looking at him, but I could tell that he was also getting frustrated at my answers.

“You just broke up with Nott.” I wanted to thank him for stating the obvious, but my mind was very fuzzy and the words weren’t coming out fast enough,

“No,” I said, “I declined his marriage proposal. Now I need to find someone else or I’ll look stupid.”

“What about me?” His voice was so soft that I turned to face him so I could give him a reassuring smile and promise him that the reason I had broken up with Nott was so that I could have him.

He was looking at me with these sad eyes that I had never seen before. I felt bad that I had upset him.

No. I was supposed to be angry at him. With my head spinning I wasn’t entirely sure why anymore, but that wasn’t important.

For some reason, I decided to hurt him further. Maybe if I hurt him how he hurt me we would be even and then we could move on. Or something like that. My thoughts were too slow in my very fuzzy brain.

“What about you?” I gave him a bored look as if he was wasting my time and that must have made him angry because he scoffed and said in a low voice, “you’re drunk.”

“Yes, I am,” I confirmed, “and what about it?” He shook his head at me. “I still know that after I rejected Nott no one came to make me an offer, so I guess I’m all alone.”

“Are you kidding me?” His voice had gotten louder but when I shot him a dirty look he continued so only I could hear him. “You were fucking bawling your eyes, pouring your heart out to me. You were vulnerable and I wasn’t going to take advantage of that.” He had a point but everything was hazy and all I cared about was the fact that I needed his validation more than anything that night and I hadn’t got it.

“Well why do you think I came over?” It was my turn for my voice to get loud but he didn’t care. “So I could tell you my sob story and leave? I came over because I wanted you to tell me I had made the right decision, that I was going to be okay.” My voice broke. “That we were going to be okay.” I finally took a quick glance around the room. No one even seemed to care that we were talking and for some reason that made me relax. “But you didn’t, so now I need to find someone else so everyone can forget about the stupid mistakes I’ve made this year.”

“You never replied to my letter.” He had a challenging look in his eye and for some reason, I thought he had won whatever this was.

“I didn’t know what to say.” I stuck my chin out as if I thought I still had a chance of winning. “Of course I wasn’t doing well, but we’re barely even friends so why should I let you know?”

“Why’d you come as a princess, then?” He had moved closer to me. His thigh was squished against mine and somehow our faces had gotten very close.

“Why’d you come as a prince?” I challenged a little too quickly.

“Because I’m charming,” he said sarcastically.

“Well I’m elegant.”

“Sure, princess.” We both rolled our eyes.

But for some reason my whole body had turned hot at the way he said that. Sure, princess.

There was just something about it that just made me feel…hot. I knew I was drunk because for some reason I was now nervous to look at Sirius. Nervous to look into his grey eyes that were always searching mine in a way that made me feel he really wanted to know what was behind them for whatever reason. I didn’t want to notice the way I knew his jaw would be clenched or the way his facial bones always stuck out. I chose instead to focus on his hand which was resting on the side of his thigh, but that was a mistake because he had long fingers and veiny hands and for some reason my heart was beating really quickly and I was still so hotand-

“I have to go.” I couldn’t read the look on his face and I didn’t want to stare at it too long so I walked the other way.

I quickly found my mother and muttered, “I drank too much, I’m going home,” which, really, wasn’t a lie. She let out a noise as if she thought I was being ridiculous, but she didn’t fight me and so I walked outside and apparated back home.

I went straight up to my bed and was quickly taking my dress off. I was just so hot.

I went to put my dress back in my closet before I saw that stupid piece of fabric again in the corner. I pulled it up and held it in front of me. It was so short I didn’t think it would even completely cover my bum.

I stared at it. It was pink and glittery and in some ways, it reminded me of the dress I had just put away.

I still had my tiara and high heels on.

For some reason, I decided to put the stupid piece of fabric on. I guess you could say it fit, but it would be better to say that it fit how it was meant to. It unsettled me that Sirius had guessed my size accurately, but I didn’t want to dwell on it and with the bubbles still travelling through my body, it was easy to forget.

I looked good. I always looked good. But I always dressed modestly and elegantly, my mother would have a heart attack if I ever wore anything as short as this. I’m not sure if it was the confidence boost that Tiberius had given me, or the bubbles coursing through me, or even what Sirius had said moments before, but I was feeling a bit too confident and went to go find my camera.

I sat down in front of my full-length mirror so my cleavage was on full display and the end of the fabric rested very high on my thighs. For some reason, I took a photo.

It was being processed immediately and as I saw the colour start to show a wave of humiliation drowned me.

What the fuck was I doing? I was not the type of girl who took pictures like this to feel good about myself. I wasn’t the type of girl who got very drunk and flirted with boys and spoke to muggleborns. I wasn’t the type of girl who publicly broke up with her boyfriend and rejected a stable future and went against her parents wishes.

I frowned down at the picture. It felt like I was looking at a different person. She didn’t look like me and I didn’t look like her.

I didn’t really know who I was anymore and stupidly all I could think was that Sirius Black really did have a horrible effect on me.

I huffed and practically ripped the fabric off of me, wanting to forget that I had ever been so stupid. I folded it away and packed the camera up, but for some reason, I put the photo with all of the notes I had received from Sirius in my top drawer.

I blamed it all on him. If he hadn’t asked to fake date me he never would have gotten me that stupid outfit and I never would have done this. If he hadn’t humiliated me in front of everyone I never would have gotten with Tiberius. If he had just told me how he felt then we wouldn’t be here. Drunk and feeling shitty about myself while having no idea what Sirius Black was thinking.

I started crying and then sometime afterward, I fell asleep.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Tag list: @silverose365@sweetlyspice@marauderssimpcuzwhytfnot

the other woman - r.b x female!reader

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Blurb: the other woman always gets the short end of the stick

part 2 to arranged
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: cheating, regulus is still a shit, but of self-doubt and feeling sad
A/N:idk how i feel about this, i feel like i should’ve kept arranged as just arranged, but i really wanted to write a second part from the muggleborns perspective but it just didn’t give what i wanted it to gave. maybe i should’ve waited a bit longer, maybe i’ll rewrite it sometime in the future, but at the same time, i knew it would be something like this. anyways

Masterlist

I liked to think it was a common experience. To be the other woman. At least that was what I told myself. I think ‘the other woman’ usually got a bad reputation, but I didn’t think that was fair. How were they to know that their lover was seeing someone else if their lover never told them? Sure, if they know it’s a completely different story and maybe part of it is fair. But either way, it wasn’t fun being the other woman. Eventually you find out and it tears your whole word apart.

It was during our seventh year that I started going out with Regulus Black. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew that our relationship would be frowned upon. More so on his side than mine, but there were plenty of people I knew who didn’t like Regulus and his arrogance and pride. But they were wrong, they just didn’t know him how I knew him.

It started when we were partnered up in Potions class. The professors tried to shield us from the upheaval that was occurring outside the castle, but tensions were high even amongst us students and they were trying desperately hard to promote inter-house relationships. Personally, at the time, I thought it was stupid that they had partnered Regulus Black, a known death eater, with me, a muggleborn.

Well it wasn’t known that he was a death eater, but sometimes rumours are true. And sure, maybe I was a bit apprehensive of him and honestly, a little scared. He was known throughout the castle for hating my blood and that didn’t sit right with me. So I tried to be happy and pleasant just so I wouldn’t end up on his bad side.

Maybe I was a little too happy and pleasant though, because once our assignment was over, we still met up to study and I would swear that he would smile at me in the hallways and then one day I got a note from him.

Can you meet me at the top of the Astronomy Tower tonight? 2am? R.B

I found his eye in the Great Hall and gave him a discreet nod. He smiled into his breakfast. He had been nothing but friendly to me once we got over the awkward beginning stages and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about what he wanted to see me about.

So maybe I did show up in my best jeans and my new jumper and maybe I did do my hair nicely before I went to meet him. I was quite intimidated by him and part of that was because he was veryattractive.

“Hi,” he breathed out when I entered the Astronomy Tower. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have gone. He was a death eater, it could’ve been a trap or maybe he might not have even shown. I wasn’t sure why I trusted him, but I did and there we were.

“Hi,” I smiled at him. We stood in front of each other, both of us with cheesy grins on our faces.

“I like your jumper,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said.

We sat down and spoke. I thought it would be hard to find topics that we were both interested in, but our conversations flowed as if we had been best friends our whole life. Whether it was about Quidditch or classes or random school gossip, we had a lot in common.

When I couldn’t stop yawning and the sun was peeking up, he sighed and turned so I was looking at his side profile.

“I really like you,” he whispered. His voice was so soft I barely heard him.

“I really like you too.” I wasn’t sure if it was because I was so tired, but it just felt right to tell him.

“But no one can know.” He turned to look at me again and I gave him a sad smile.

“I know.”

And so began our secret relationship.

It wasn’t hard to fall for Regulus Black. He was kind when you got to know him and he was much more intelligent than he let on, and of course, there was no denying that Regulus Black was pretty and nice to look at.

We would meet in broom closets and walk around the grounds late at night, my heart pounding in fear that someone would find us. In regards to someone finding us out of bed past curfew and finding out about our relationship.

“What would happen if people found out about us?” I had asked one night when we were sitting in the Astronomy Tower again. This was our favourite place to meet.

“I don’t know.” He didn’t say much, but his face went hard and I could feel his whole body tense. I understood why we had to keep our relationship private, but it still hurt. The stolen glances, the rushed touches, the discreet letter sending.

It was tiring. And we couldn’t always meet up. Regulus couldn’t just leave his dorm every night. People already had a few suspicions about him and that would not help his case.

Our seventh year went by so quickly. With exams and my new secret relationship and the threat of war lingering closely in the back of everyone’s mind, it seemed that it ended before I even got a chance to appreciate it.

But being out of the castle meant that Regulus and I got more freedom. My parents had helped me buy my own house once I left Hogwarts, so it was easy for Regulus to pop over whenever he liked. Which, unfortunately, was still scarce.

“I promise I want to visit you more,” he explained one day. We were sitting on the lounge, cuddled up in blankets very late into the night. “It’s just hard for me.” His face turned hard and I knew what he was talking about.

Regulus had never mentioned anything about his pathway but I had never seen his left arm bare. Feeling brave, I reached over and touched his forearm where the ink should be. He tensed under my touch, but he didn’t stop me. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me, but he nodded.

I pulled back his sleeve and there it was. The dark mark. I didn’t want him to know how much it affected me so I started tracing it to distract myself.

I guess I was so caught up in this relationship that I forgot that Regulus Black was trying to stop people like me from becoming wizards. I was breathing heavily, I couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I nodded, pulling my hand away and pulling down his sleeve. “I promise I’m not like them. I promise I’m trying to do better, to fix my past mistakes.” I nodded when he finally looked over at me. I foolishly believed him. How couldn’t I? “For you,” he whispered and I bit my tongue to stop myself from crying.

As the war reached its crescendo it seemed that I was seeing Regulus less and less and every time he left I feared that would be the last time I saw him. He always visited late in the night, looking exhausted and I tried to be strong for him, but I was so scared.

Eventually, the war came and went and I hadn’t lost too many friends and Regulus was okay. He survived and he was healthy. He still had his dark mark, but he had been practising spells to hide it and now it all seemed like an afterthought.

“It’s all over.” He said when Voldemort was defeated. “Now I have more time for my love.” He nuzzled his head in my neck and I smiled.

It briefly crossed my mind that even though everything had changed, nothing had changed between Regulus and I. He hadn’t said anything about making our relationship public and he still only visited sporadically, usually late in the night, and he was always gone whenever I woke up late in the morning.

And now with the war over, we both had to focus on our careers. I had a stable job at the Ministry and Regulus was a successful potion maker. He said it required odd hours which was why he could only come late at night and why he left so early. My job was a regular office job which made it even harder for us to find time.

But we did, somehow. Yet, there was still something nagging in the back of my mind. It was very late one night when Regulus was over and as I usually was when he was over, I was really tired and I decided to bring it up with him.

“It’s weird that while everything has changed, nothing has really changed, don’t you think?” We were sitting on the couch, cuddled in blankets and he hummed as he turned to me.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Regulus murmured, a crease in between his eyebrows as he sank deep into thought.

“We still have to hide our relationship, we still can’t walk down the streets holding hands.” Sure, now that things had changed there were more purebloods dating muggleborns, but they weren’t received very well. I had heard other muggleborns say how stupid those people were, dating someone who had only just recently been fighting to get rid of their existence. I couldn’t even imagine what the purebloods were saying.

“We can,” he mumbled, “but it’s best we don’t.” My heart sank. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting him to say. Maybe that he actually wanted to be seen in public with me. That he wanted to show me off, but it still wasn’t safe. Regulus was kind. He brought me gifts and he always listened to me and showed me nothing but respect, but it was hard keeping a relationship secret. And, of course, there was the doubt that came with it. I was a muggleborn and his family probably hated me even if they didn’t know I existed.

He turned his head and I looked away.

It seemed like there was something he was leaving out. There was something left unsaid between us. But I put it down to just being exhausted and dropped the subject. Everything was fine, I told myself.

She had been working in the same department with me since I started and our offices were right next to each other. Shewas very pretty, and nice, and a pure blood. Which wasn’t a big deal, anymore. The war was over and as much as they needed to overcome their prejudices, so did I.

We were in the same year at Hogwarts, but had never spoken to each other for obvious reasons. It was awkward at first, she knew my blood status and I knew her beliefs, but she had always smiled at me when we crossed paths and one day she took a risk and sat next to me at lunch. I didn’t move away and instead initiated polite small talk which continued until polite small talk turned into workplace gossip which soon turned into more personal conversations and I was now happy to call her my friend.

No one really warns you about how hard it is to find friends after school. Especially when you start in a new workplace and society is recovering from a war that was centred around your blood status.

I wasn’t lonely, but I was pretty much on house arrest during war for my own safety and with Regulus and I still keeping our relationship a secret, I was starting to struggle and I wanted to bring it up to him one night and I was so tired, that I did.

“I feel so alone,” I whimpered. We were lying down in bed and I was cuddled up into Regulus’ chest, trying not to cry. “Work is taking up all my time and I’ve lost contact with all my old friends, I have no one, I-”

“You have me,” he offered and I looked up at him, trying not to look hopeful. He gave me a cheesy grin and the hurt on my face vanished as I felt my whole body relax.

“Really?” I had asked pathetically. It seemed that our relationship was still stuck in the position it was in our seventh year. So much time had passed and yet it felt like our relationship hadn’t developed.

“Of course, my love.” He leant down to kiss the top of my head.

I wanted to tell him, I really did. It was true and I had been thinking about it for a long time, but I didn’t want him to freak out. We hadn’t been emotionally intimate like this and I was unsure if I was overstepping a line. But I must have been absolutely exhausted because I said it anyway.

“I love you.” I said it in his chest so when he didn’t reply I wondered if he even heard me. My heart was racing, did I overstep a line? Maybe I could pretend like I didn’t say anything. I could-

“I love you.” He mumbled and I fell asleep feeling at peace.

How could I not think that he was different? I had always wondered how a pureblood like him could ever like a muggleborn like me, yet alone love. But he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it, right? He didn’t tell me everything about his past and his family, but I knew they were the ones who pushed him in the direction that led to the permanent ink on his skin and I was so caught up in loving him that I guess it was easy to put the blame on them. Because Regulus was different to them. He had given his complete self to me. He had to be.

I was giddy all week at work. I was so in love and I wanted to share that with everyone around me. I was on cloud nine and I didn’t think anything could bring me down.

Until I noticed there was something wrong with her the minute I sat down at lunch. I felt bad that I hadn’t told her about Regulus and I’s relationship, but no one knew and she wasn’t some odd exception. Even if I wanted her to be. I had a feeling she would understand and share my excitement with me. Maybe I could tell her I was in a secret relationship, I didn’t have to tell her who with.

I thought now that maybe Regulus had said he loved me he would be more open to making our relationship public. Maybe if I spoke to her and got a third opinion, I’d have more clarity. I decided I’d tell her once I figured out what was wrong with her.

“What’s got you down?” She looked like she hadn’t slept that night and she looked weak. I was very concerned.

“I’m in an arranged marriage.” There were so many things that she could have said, but this was something that I never expected. I looked at her in shock, my mouth slightly agape, and when the words finally settled into my brain I looked at her in confusion before wondering the extent of the arranged marriage. Was she having issues with her arranged husband? What type of issues could she be having? How long had they been occurring? Was she safe? I gave her a sceptical look but then she assured me that they were friends and got along really well so I smiled at her.

“Well,” I said, “who’s the lucky guy? Did he go to Hogwarts?” She was obviously sad about whatever was going on so I tried to remain cheerful and happy.

“Yeah, he was in our year as well. Regulus Black.” I dropped my cutlery and my face fell. But then I remembered that I was meant to be the supportive friend so I quickly went back to smiling. Surely I heard her wrong. Surely she wasn’t married to myRegulus Black. Was there another Regulus Black at school?

“When did you get married?” She had said something else but I wasn’t paying attention. I felt bad about cutting her off so I tried to sound genuinely curious.

“Early June, pretty much as soon as we left Hogwarts.” He was seeing me at that point in time. The person he just told he loved. Maybe he didn’t love her. It was a horrible thought and not something that a friend should be thinking, but it was an arranged marriage, that didn’t mean they lovedeach other, right?

“How long did you know?” She said something else but I still wasn’t listening. I was hot. My mind was racing at a million miles an hour and I just wanted to ask Regulus what this was all about. Not that I didn’t trust her, but I just wanted to hear what he had to say for himself. He was my boyfriend after all. At least I thought he was.

“Know what?” Her eyes slanted every so slightly and a weird tension filled the air. She had caught on. How was I going to tell her that I was dating her husband?

“That you would marry him?” I felt like I was going to cry. My lips were starting to wobble and my cheeks were hurting from trying to fight my frown.

“Just before our sixth year, I don’t know-”

“I need to tell you something.” My heart was pounding and I was struggling to keep it all together. Why wouldn’t he tell me that he was in an arranged marriage?

“What?” A cold chill ran through my body as I tried to think of how to tell her.

“I-, Regulus and I, we–I didn’t know,“ myvoice broke off and there were tears forming in both of our eyes. “You have to believe me,” Ipleaded and I wondered if shealso suddenly couldn’t breathe. “He never told me he was married.” Ilet out a harsh sob and for a brief second I wanted to reach out and hold her and tell her that I was so sorry.

“I believe you,” she sighed. She wasn’t crying, but I couldn’t say the same for me. I was sobbing and I didn’t care how pathetic I felt. It’s not easy finding out that your boyfriend is married and my pride couldn’t handle it. Not when it was with someone I called a friend. “When?” she asked, and I really didn’t want to tell her. He was seeing us at the same time and that knowledge broke my heart, I didn’t want her heart to break anymore either.

“During our seventh year,” I mumbled. She nodded slowly. I felt so foolish. Of course there was someone else. Someone prettier and smarter and a pureblood. Why would he ever want a muggleborn? He was a death eater. I was foolish to think that he was any different. While I was always wondering about him and our relationship, he was with another person.

“I think-,” she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as I watched single tear fall down her cheek, “I think I need to get back to work.” I didn’t want to be alone. I was shaking from the intensity of my sobs, but I didn’t want to ask her to stay. I wasn’t that selfish.

When she stood up, I did too and I reached out to give her a hug. She probably didn’t want to hug me, but I just needed to. I needed to know that things were alright between us. I kept mumbling, “I’m so sorry,” but I knew it didn’t change anything.

I cried even more when she left and I cried for the rest of the day. It didn’t feel real. It felt like I was no longer in my body and I no longer had control over anything that happened to me. I was just there, waiting and watching it all fall apart.

I couldn’t stop comparing myself to her either. She was so confident and proud. Just the type of person to suit Regulus. I couldn’t help it, I knew it was stereotypical of me, but I couldn’t help but think all purebloods were the same. They were horrible and cruel and arrogant and selfish and they didn’t care who they hurt.

I had never felt so badly about myself and I wondered if she felt the same. Surely not. Why would she ever compare herself to a mudblood like me?

It was a long day. I had a migraine from all of my sobbing and I barely got any work done. I had come to work so excited and joyous, thinking that nothing could ruin my day and yet, here I was. My day ruined.

I couldn’t help but wonder if she was okay. I hoped she was. I hoped she knew that I didn’t blame her. That if she wanted to, I would remain friends with her. It wasn’t our fault. It was all his.

When I got home that afternoon I got a glass of water and some painkillers which I took instantly. This wasn’t fair. How could he make me think that I was so special to him? How could he tell me he loved me when he had a wife?

It all started making sense. The reason he only visited me late at night and why he always left when I woke up. I wondered if he even was a potion maker or if he even had a job. This was also why he wanted to keep our relationship secret. He had played it off as being worried about my safety, but I wasn’t that naive.Of course he would want to keep me hidden. He had a wife.

A chill ran through me as I started to think. Did he have any children? What if he did? I’d be a homewrecker. Surely she would have told me if there were kids involved, but then again, I didn’t even know she was married.

I cried some more. I felt so sorry for myself and I allowed myself to dwell in this pain because I wasn’t sure there was anything that could make me feel better.

The worst part was the realisation that I was the other woman. I wasn’t sure what their situation was like, but as the hours came and went there was no appearance from Regulus and I knew that he would be at the house he no doubt shared with her. I wondered if she would bring it up or if she’d pretend that nothing was wrong. I wondered if they’d fight about it. What they’d say about me. I wondered if they’d make up. At least she would get to see him. A fight was better than nothing. But I was here, all alone sitting in my hurt and I’d have to see her again tomorrow and the next day, and relive this pain again and again. Would she even talk to me at work? I had finally made a friend and it turns out I was dating her husband. Typical.

I had such good thoughts about Regulus but now that was all gone. I used to think he was selfless and brave and courageous, but now I knew he was selfish and cowardly and dishonest, and as the hours passed I knew he wouldn’t turn up. I thought he had given me all of himself, but now I didn’t know what to think.

I wondered if I’d ever see him again. He’d probably tell her that he would do better. Of course, he’d want to fix his marriage before he fixed whatever we were. He lovedher.He loved me too, I thought, but I now knew that wasn’t true. He had lied.

I wondered what he’d say about me. I wondered what she’d say about me. Maybe he’d promise to stop seeing me. Maybe she’d hate me. Did he even know that we worked together? What would happen at work tomorrow? I sobbed. I guess in the end it didn’t matter because I was just the other woman.

Disclaimer: None of these are mine, this is just an organized list I compiled of all my favorite fics to read because I’m tired of endlessly scrolling through my favorites to find them when I want to re-read! Feel free to share and enjoy! :) 

MARVEL 

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Steve Rogers x Reader  

Tom Holland/Peter Parker Imagines 

Misc. Marvel Imagines

MUSICIANS

Shawn Mendes x Reader

Harry Styles x Reader

1D Imagines 

INTERNET STARS 

Dolan Twins Imagines

David Dobrik + Vlog Squad Imagines 

HARRY POTTER

Sirius Black Imagines 

 Misc. Characters

BTS FAVES

MISC FAVES

FRED WEASLEY 

• Unlike Me by panda-noosh 
• its all fun and games by omg-imatotalmess
• Fred Weasley Drabble by carolinesbookworld
• Soft Boy by omg-imatotalmess
• All My Love by harrysweasleys 
• Dating Fred Weasley Would Include by one shots-imagines-and-that
• Christmas Fun by weasley-imagines 
• Stay Here by weasley-imagines 
• Here With Each Other by weasley-imagines 
  
• Arachnophobia by vastfandoms 
  
• Taken by weasleys 
• The Distractor by weasley-imagines 
• The Dursley’s by imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul 
• How Would You Feel? by whomping-weasleys 
• Silent Treatment by theprophecysaid 
• Here by potterlyimagines 
  
• I Was … Studying by writings-of-a-british-fangirl 
• Hide Me by panic-at-space-camp 
  
• Ink by weasley-kings 
• Molly Thought You Were Dating by imaginesoftheuniverse 
  
• Forgiveness by lifeasadorkwithnolife 
  
• Thin Walls by potter-imagines 
• Qudditch Matches by potter-imagines 
  
• Study Time by my-mind-is-incognito 
  
• Jealousy by lifeasadorkwithnolife 
  
• Fred’s Date On Valentines by theweasleysredhair 
  

GEORGE WEASLEY 

• Weasley by hissteph 
  
• Marigolds and Fireworks by have courage-darling 
• Ready, Bet, Go by vastfandoms 
• Backfire Teasings by vastfandoms 
  
• What Have We Done by tessimagines 
• Kiss Me Already by ickle-ronniekins 
  
• George’s Date On Valentines by theweasleysredhair 
  
• Gifts by acromantulla 

DRACO MALFOY

• Words by drxcodormxns 
• Potions by drxcodormxns 
• Here by malfoysdarkprincess 
• Hurricane by protaego 
• Make Like A Muggle by theinkquiry 
• Game On by seethatgirl3 
• Teaser by fangirl-ehatt 
• Pray For Plagues by protaego 
• Period With Draco by theweasleysredhair 
• Cursive Scars by protaego 
• Caught by malfoysdarkprincess
• Make Me by potterlyimagines 
• Like A Clay Pigeon by themissinghippogriff 
• Sick by solomon’s 
• Jealousy by wizardwritings 

REMUS LUPIN

• The Good Part by myself-and-the-marauders 
• Hogsmeade by vastfandoms 
• Hogwarts Holidays by randomfandomimaginetime 
  
• Homemade Chocolate by sky-full-of-imagines
  
• Hey, Jealousy be protaego 
  
• Crush by theweasleysredhair 
  
• One Too Many by theboywhocriedlupin 

RANDOM

• Jealousy Suits You by speechlessxx (Harry Potter)
• That’s My Boy by speechlessxx (Harry Potter)
  

• Boundaries by marvelcapsicle (James Potter)
• Definitely Getting You Back by accio-fandom-writings (James Potter)
  
• You Jealous? by harleysarchive (Newt Scamander)
• What Comes First by untildawnremus (Oliver Wood)
  
• Weasley Twins MasterList by weasley-yelsaew
  

Pairing: Harry Potter x reader

Request: Harry meets somebody who’s guardian is a part of the order and they lost their parents as well. Their outlook on things really similar to Luna Lovegood’s but he finds it absolutely adorable. Harry can’t really help but develop a crush on her and screws up every time he gets a moment to tell her. And is mercilessly teased by the twins for it. 

A/N I’ve tried to include the part about the reader having the same outlook as Luna, but she’s not a character I write very well, so I’m not sure how well I succeeded. // This does not follow the events in the books/movies. 

Tagging:@bitchwhytho​@music-of-melody​@shadowhuntyi​@avada-kedavra-bitch-187​Let me know if you want to be added or removed. 

It’s a different feeling when you enter the grounds of Hogwarts this time. This is your last year and your mind is clouded by past events. It hits you when you step forward to get on the carriages and realizes that for the first time, you can see what pulls the carriages forward. Part of you feel utter devastated that you now can see the Thestrals but there’s another part of you that can’t help but admire their beauty. You look over to spot Harry, Hermione and Ron get off the train. You’re a year above them but after what happened in the Ministry of Magic, you feel like you’ve bonded with them. They’re your friends now. 

“Don’t worry. They’re quite nice,” you say when you notice Harry looking at the thestrals. Of course, he sees them too. You’d both seen Sirius get hit by Bellatrix’ Unforgivable Curse. Now, you’re two orphans sitting in a carriage dragged by skeleton horses that only the two of you can see. At least, you’re entirely convinced of your own sanity or this might’ve felt different. 

“Had a good summer?” Harry asks and looks like he regrets it immediately. But you like a sense of normalcy after what you all went through. Not everything can be serious all the time. 

“It was alright. Spent a good amount of time feeding the gnomes in our garden.” 

“Aren’t you meant to try and scare them off?” Ron questions but you see no reason to remove them. They were probably here before the rest of you. 

“I like them. They can be fun company.” You notice Hermione nudge his side with her elbow, but you don’t mind it. You’re used to people looking at you a little funny. The three of them get in the carriage but you pull out your notebook and quill to scribble down a sketch of the thestral. The carriage ride is quiet but you catch Harry look over at you several times. 

This continues over the next couple of weeks. He looks at you when he thinks you don’t notice, so you start waving at him in case he wants to talk. This, however, has the opposite effect. He always drops what he’s holding or trip over his own feet. It isn’t until three weeks after the first night that he comes over and talks to you. 

“Getting some reading done?” he asks as he sits down on the bench next to you in the library. He’s keeping his voice down in fear of agitating Madam Pince and you don’t blame him. Even you feel a little apprehensive of her obsessive love of books. 

“To be honest, I don’t really read much. I like to draw,” you explain, showing him your notebook. It’s filled with little sketches of everything you see. Mistletoe filled with nargles, the thestrals, one of the dragons from the Triwizard Tournament. It’s everything you see or think of. 

“These are really good, you know.” 

“I know.” And they are really good. There are many things that you don’t have a talent for, but you know you can draw. He looks over at you with a glimmer in his eyes, and you add a small “thank you”. To be honest, you’ve never understood why someone would thank someone for commenting on something that is obviously good, but you realize that it’s the polite thing to do. 

“Who are you hiding from?” You know enough about Harry to know that he’d never voluntarily enter the library. 

“Is it that obvious?” 

“You’ve been getting a lot of attention from the girls. I wouldn’t imagine that would be the worst thing,” you smile, blowing gently on your newest sketch to make the ink dry faster. 

“They’re only interested because I’m the Chosen One. Because I can do stupid stuff like a Patronus and talk to snakes. It makes me… different,” Harry admits

“Being different isn’t a bad thing. At least, you’re being yourself. That’s more than a lot of people can say.“ You give his hand a squeeze before collecting your things and leaving for the common room. 

—

After that, Harry seems to find you more often. He’s nice to talk to even if he brings a lot of attention with him. Especially from the rest of your year. Suddenly, you’ve gone from the “slightly weird one” to “the one who hangs out with Harry Potter”. The attention you could do without, but you’re happy to hang out with Harry. He is a really nice person even if he turns into a stuttering mess sometimes. Like right now. 

“So… Hogsmeade is this weekend?” he starts with red cheeks. You offer him your knitted hat in case he’s cold. 

“Oh, is it? I don’t normally go.” He motions for you to keep the hat, so you pack it away in your bag. Winter is fast approaching, and you can’t wait for the first snow to hit the grounds. 

“Right… Would you… I mean… Ron and Hermione are going… and I thought… do you… doyouwanttogowithme?” You can’t help the little giggle that escapes your mouth. 

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say, Harry.” And you truly don’t. What does it matter to you that Ron and Hermione are going to Hogsmeade this weekend? They’re nice people but you see them all the time. Before Harry has a chance to explain, some of the girls from his year comes up to you. That is your que to leave. 

“I’ll see you around, Harry.” You grab your things and head back to the castle. 

“That was painful.” 

“You just obliterated the man.” You look around to spot Fred and George walk behind you. 

“I thought you two would be busy ruining Umbridge’s life?” you question. 

“Even we must take a break from success,” Fred winks before George chimes in. 

“Yes. Once in a while, it’s nice to reminds ourselves how the rest of you live.” You furrow your eyebrows as you watch the two of them. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You know the black haired kid talking to you before? He’s got a lightening scar on his forehead?” George questions you as they follow you back to the castle. The wind is bad enough to almost drown out their voices altogether. 

“Goes under the name of Chosen One,” Fred adds and you laugh. 

“You mean Harry?” They both nod eagerly. “What about him?” 

“The poor lad just asked you on a date, and you completely pied him off.” You stop dead in your tracks. Harry asking you out? Had you really been that oblivious? The red-haired twins share a look before intertwining their arms with yours on each side. 

“Listen, we know you enjoy your own little world. And we love that about you, but the poor kid has been trying to confess his undying love for you for weeks now,” Fred laughs and you feel your cheeks burn. 

“And as much fun as it has been for us to tease him relentless about his lack of success, we have decided to take matters into our own hands because neither of us can stand to look at the two of you anymore.” They lead you up the stairs to Gryffindor’s common room and drop you off on the couch next to Harry. 

“We think the two of you should go to Hogsmeade together,” Fred states and George adds a quick “Now, discuss”, before they both make themselves scarce. Considering the time of day, it seems weird that the common room is almost completely empty. You can’t help but wonder if the twins have planned this. 

“Were you trying to ask me to go to Hogsmeade with you earlier?” you ask because Harry definitely doesn’t seem to be prepared for this conversation. He’s staring straight into the fire as if he’s about to throw some Floo powder and dive straight into the flames. 

“To be honest, I’ve been trying to ask you for weeks now. And every time I try, I fumble my words.” 

“Yes.” Finally, he looks over you a little confused. 

“My answer is yes then. I wouldn’t mind a trip to Hogsmeade if it’s with you.” This time, you’re the one with a hot face. You’ve never even looked at someone romantically before, and now you’ve agreed to go on your first date. It feels weird but a good kind of weird. 

“Awesome.” You both laugh when you realize that neither of you have any idea what to do now. You hold out your hand for him to take, and he quickly grabs it. 

“This is nice,” you say settling further into the couch. 

“Yeah, it is.” And here the two of you sit. Both orphaned and traumatized but perfectly content in the moment. 

Imagine Draco and Ron competing for your love.

brainsanalysis:

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better