INTJ apologizing after an argument:I’m sorry that me being right offended you.

INTJ apologizing for being late: I am so sorry, it’s completely my fault. I didn’t account for traffic and then I woke up late because I was an idiot and- *continues for five minutes*

INTJ: You know, maybe if I open up to someone, it won’t be so bad. Getting someone else’s insight on my emotions might be helpful, and possibly healthy. I’m going to go vent about the current inner turmoil I’m experiencing.

*Later, when INTJ has finished writing an essay on what’s going on in their head*

INTJ: And so that’s why I think I’m feeling this way.

Person: *either says “oof” or never responds*

INTJ:…

INTJ: Welp, that was useless.

INxJ: Heart of a dreamer, mind of the deepest cynic.

Something I’ve noticed about an INFJ friend and I is that we both love to dream about the future. Bright, hopeful futures, filled with love and happiness, and all the things we want in life. We like to talk about these futures too. However, the conversation almost always ends with a depressing “Yeah like that’s ever gonna happen,” because while we want these futures with every fiber of our soul, our mind knows all to well how impossible our dreams are.

That, I think, is one reason why INTJs and INFJs are generally so depressed or prone towards depression. These dueling mentalities are not kind to each other, nor are they kind to the INxJ. It is a cruel tug of war between heart and mind every. single. day.

Our heart yearns for an impossible future, a place where our dreams come true (sometimes the dream itself isn’t beyond reason, but circumstances prevent it from occurring), and we’re content. At the same time, our mind screams that it is never going to happen and we should just settle down and get used to whatever hand in life we’ve been dealt, because the likelihood of it changing is minimal.

It goes on every day, and it is difficult to deal with.

Ask an INTJ

I do this periodically. If you have a question for an INTJ about stereotypes, relationships, behavioral traits, and stuff like that, feel free to drop an ask in my inbox!