Muslim doods always remember the “Islam allows 4 wives” rule, but never how to treat women with dignty, love, compassion, and righteousness.

Met a POS on a Muslim dating app and he initially seemed interesting until he told me he was married, but unhappy. The unhappy part means nothing to me. He’s married so I said I wasn’t interested.

Dood freaked out and started sending me crazy texts messages about how it was his right to marry 4 women. I told it was his right, but I didn’t have to agree with it. I’m simply not interested. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and started texting swears and saying he would never marry me. It was nuts. I only spoke to the guy once.

I blocked him, but the incident was really bothersome. Idk where these doods get the entitlement from. You can force people to do your bidding. Go marry your 4 wives. Leave me out of it.

mbti-notes:

Manipulators seek to dominate and control your decision making, see Manipulative Behavior for more detail. Some common examples of manipulative tactics:

Si: throws past issues/mistakes at you
Ni: uses knowledge of you against you
Ti: gradually chips at your self-esteem
Fi: twists your sense of loyalty or morality
Se: evades, distracts, makes excuses
Ne: empty promises, tries to confuse you
Te: shuts down discussion/disagreement
Fe: exploits your emotional vulnerabilities

thedarklordsnicklefritz:

aqueerkettleofish:

bumblebeerror:

Hard truth that I’ve had to confront that I’m honestly not proud of:

Constantly voicing your abandonment issues lead to more people abandoning you.

I do not mean in Serious Conversations about what you need in a relationship or anything like that - I mean when your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days and you feel like your world is crumbling, that is not the time to talk about them.

I understand the fear that someone will decide they are done with you. I live that fear every single day, but here’s the rub.

If you tell people “you’ll probably leave me anyway” or similar things every time you feel that fear, people will leave you.

Not because they don’t want to be your friend, your partner, your roommate, whatever. Not because you aren’t deserving of friends (you are), but because it is exhausting to be constantly told by someone you like/love to go away.

Because that is how it feels on the other end. I don’t say this to make it worse, or to make you feel like you’re at fault. Your brain is hurting you, and it’s okay to feel things. But if you find that it’s hard to keep people around you, then you need to hear that outside of things like conversations about boundaries and triggers and such, it would be to your benefit to change your language.

Instead of telling people “you probably don’t like me”, try asking. “You like me? It’s much easier for them to reassure you when you don’t start with a negative, because it puts your brain in a different mindset, one that finds it easier to believe their response.

Sit with your issues. Parent them. And when they’re done screaming, hold their little hands and dry their little faces and try to remember that you are worth being loved. I won’t say it’s easy, because it’s really fucking not. I won’t say you’ll get it the first time, or that you’ll never fuck up. I still do. But you deserve friends and partners and love, it’s just that so do they.

Another thing about this is that you are waving a red flag.

Because here’s the thing.

When your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days, and you talk about how that hurt you? You’ve just created a situation where you’ve placed the onus of your emotions on your friend, who did nothing wrong. Now your friend has to worry about what other perfectly reasonable activities are going to get them accused of hurting you, which is what you were doing whether you meant to or not.

And here’s the other thing.

When you tell someone “everyone always leaves me”, they wonder why. And it’s very possible that they’ve dealt with someone who complained about this, then proceeded to demonstrate why. There is a particular kind of social parasite that will completely use up their friend group, then move on to new friends while shit-talking how they were treated by the last friend group.

If you’re always reassuring your friend that you love then and do not in fact secretly hate them, it can get tedious and feel like they don’t believe you when you tell them that.

That doesn’t mean they don’t need reassurance and support! Those feelings are real, and can be difficult to manage.

But if you are the one feeling those things, it’s important to interrogate them. As in, it may FEEL like someone is abandoning you, and those feelings are very real and color your perception. But that doesn’t mean they’re reality!

If they’re a long time friend you probably have some evidence that they care about you. A time when theyve said or done something to express that. Try to remember those when you’re feeling that way and take a step back to evaluate.

You can write them down. And if you don’t have many, look for opportunities to give them first. Say something nice about your friend, tell them you enjoy their company etc. They’ll feel more inclined to be do the same.

Work on retraining that internal (and external) monologue.

It’s difficult, anxiety is a bitch. But you’re going to have better results if you put your effort into being the kind of person your friends want to be around than if you focus on worrying that they’re going to leave you.

And I’m not saying you have to change everything about you or pretend to be something youre not. But ultimately you’re the one who gets to decide what kind of person you are, and you can golden rule this. Treat people the way you wanna be treated yknow. If you like getting compliments, be the kind of person that gives compliments etc

A White Rose (Pt. 1)

(This series is created from the prompts given by @summer-of-whump) (Also, Shea is pronounced [shAY])

CW: Child whumpee, kidnapped, ‘it’ as a pronoun, head injury, child abuse, manipulation, fire, lightly implied burns, implied death

Shea screamed, covering his head as flaming debris fell nearby.

“Shea!” The boy looked up to see his mother running towards him. She scooped him up into her arms and ran.

“Momma, what’s happening?” Shea squeaked, hiding his face. “I’m scared!”

“It’s going to be okay, baby. We just need to get out.” His mother’s voice was calmer than it was a moment before, although it still held a note of panic. “You remember the fire drills? It’s just like that. It’s going to be okay.”

Shea dared to peek back at the community. The fires were everywhere. People were running, some flying. To Shea’s horror, several people’s wings were actually onfire. His own mother’s wings were blackened in places.

“Momma, what happened to your wings?”

“Don’t worry about it baby— I’m fine. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”

“I’m okay.” And Shea hid his face again as his mother continued to run deeper into the forest.

Only a short couple of minutes had passed when Shea felt the unmistakable feeling of rising in the air. It didn’t feel like flying, however— the incline felt sharper. His mother screamed and held onto Shea tighter.

Shea tried to wriggle free of his mother’s hold to see what was happening. “What?? What’s happening??”

Cruel laughter broke out from the trees around them and Shea managed to catch sight of the net surrounding him and his mother before his mother managed to pull him back against her, shielding his eyes. “Don’t move.” She whispered, her voice breaking.

Shea stopped moving, confused. He felt his mother pull her wings to surround him.

“Well would you look at that? We actually caught one of them!” Someone said from the ground.

“Who are you people? What do you want?” Shea’s mother’s voice sounded harsh and a little scared.

“Damn. Its wings must’ve caught fire. This one’s as good as worthless.” Another voice said.

“Best to just leave it and check the other traps. If we don’t catch anything else, this one’ll have to do.”

Shea heard footsteps begin to walk away. “Momma, I’m scared.” He whispered and the footsteps stopped.

“Shhh…” His mother held onto him tighter.

“You got somebody else up there?” One of the voices asked.

Shea’s mother didn’t answer.

“Cut it down. I think I heard something.” The person said and the footsteps came closer again.

Shea’s mother was trembling now, whispering prayers under her breath.

There was a sudden drop and the net hit the ground with Shea and his mother inside it.

Shea couldn’t understand what happened next. There was movement, his mother was yelling, squeezing him so tight he could hardly breathe. One of the other people yelled for her to let go. The next thing Shea knew, someone was pulling him away from his mother. He kicked and yelled, trying to hold onto her, but they were separated a moment later.

“Shea! Shea, you have to get away— you have to run— Shea—” One of the other people— Shea could see now that there were three— hit his mother over the head and she closed her eyes. When they let go of her, she fell to the ground.

“Momma!” Shea screamed, struggling to get away from the person who was now holding on tight to his arm. “Momma— Let me go! I want my mom!”

“Now this one’s worth this whole trip. Its wings are perfectly intact and it’s only— what— seven years old maybe?”

“How old are you, kid?”

Shea didn’t answer, tears streaming down his face as he tried to pry the person’s hand off his arm. “Let go!”

The person holding Shea slapped him hard across the face and Shea stopped for a moment, shocked. No one had ever hit him before.

“You were asked a question, brat. How old are you?” The person demanded.

Shea’s lip quivered as he tried not to cry harder. “I just want my mom— Why did you hit me? It h-hurt!”

“I’ll hit you again if you don’t answer the fucking question.” The person threatened.

“I’m six years old.” Shea whimpered, shielding his cheek with his free hand. “Please don’t hit me again— It really hurt!”

“Just do as you’re told and I won’t have any reason to hit you, now will I?” The person started to pull Shea away. “Come on. We can check the other traps once we get this one secured.”

“No!” Shea started to pull again. “No— I want my mom!”

“Shut up!” The person yanked Shea by the hair, making him scream. “If you keep trying to make things difficult, I’ll pick you up and fucking carry you. Just walk. Your mom isn’t going with us.”

Shea stumbled as they tried to keep up with the fast pace of the adults. He didn’t want to get hurt more, so he had stopped trying to get away, but he was still crying and yelling for his mom by the time the person let him stop walking. The person tied up Shea’s hands and tied them to the outside of a cage.

“Somebody has to stay with this one while the rest of the traps are checked and it’s not going to be me. We won’t get paid if I get annoyed and kill the brat before we make it back.” The person said after they finished tying Shea up.

“I’ll stay with the kid.” One of the others said. “You two go check traps and come back with the rest of the group.”

The other two nodded and left into the woods again.

“Hey, kid.” The person who stayed behind crouched next to Shea. “What’s your name? Did I hear your mom call you Shea?”

Shea nodded, sniffling and trying to wipe his tears off his face.

The person nodded. “Good to know. Sorry about Thorne. He really doesn’t like kids. Or the Winged. Or honestly really anyone. He shouldn’t have hit you.”

“What did I do that made him a-angry at me?”

“Literally anything you would have done except for coming with us quietly would have made him angry. None of us expected that from you. You are just a kid. And we aren’t taking your mom with us.”

“Where… Where am I going..? Why can’t my mom come with me? Who areyou?”

“My name is Jade. Your mom burned her wings in the fire, that’s why she can’t come. We’re only taking people with complete sets of wings. Seeing as your whole little village just burned down, we’re giving you a new place to live. Aren’t you glad?”

“I-I just want my mom…” Shea sniffed again.

“I know it’ll be hard for a while, but you’ll be okay. After all, you’re just a kid. You’ll bounce back fast. Don’t worry about your mom. She’s going to be okay too. She just can’t come with you.”

Shea fidgeted with the ropes around their wrists in silence as he and Jade waited.

At last, there were several footsteps. “Jade. The fires weren’t really a great idea, it turns out. Most of them died or have incomplete sets now. We did find this one, though.”

“Is it alive?” Jade stood up and Shea tried to look and see behind them, but the ropes wouldn’t let them turn that far.

“It’s alive, but injured. I don’t know if it’ll live, but it has a complete set, so it’s at least worth a shot.”

“Fine. Put it in the cage. I’ll get this one in.” Jade came back to Shea and untied him from the cage, leading him around to another side. “Get in.” Jade said, opening the cage door.

Shea hesitated.

“Shea,” Jade said softly. “You need to get in before Thorne decides to see what’s taking so long. As long as you listen to me, he won’t hurt you again, okay?”

Shea nodded quickly and Jade helped him into the cage.

After Shea was in the cage, a girl was put in as well. She was sleeping and there was a big bump on her head. “Aubrey?” Shea whispered, sitting next to her.

“Do you know her?” Jade asked.

Shea nodded. “Sh-she’s my cousin.”

“Her name is Aubrey? Do you know how old she is?”

“I think she’s…” Shea thought for a minute. “I think she might be twenty?”

“Okay.” Jade nodded, closing the cage door. “We’re going to leave now, okay?” Jade didn’t wait for an answer as they climbed into the car.

The cage sat on the bed of a trailer and Shea was startled when it began to move.

Aubrey’s eyes opened a little. “Are they gone?” She whispered.

“Aubrey! You’re okay!!”

“Not really.” She muttered, closing her eyes again. “Are they gone?”

“Um…” Shea looked at the car. “They’re in the car. They said they were taking us to a new home.”

“This is really bad…”

“… Why is it so bad?”

“Shea, if they take us somewhere outside the forest, you’re never going to see your mom again— if she’s even alive still. They started…” Aubrey coughed. “… They started those fires. Half the community is dead and the other half will never fly again. We’re probably the only two people who made it out alive with both wings.”

“… How did you get hurt..?”

“I… I don’t remember. Something probably fell on my head. I don’t know. Maybe I fell from somewhere… All I know is my head hurts and I’m really dizzy and it’s getting kind of hard to breathe…” Aubrey opened her eyes and looked at Shea, undoubtedly seeing the worry in his eyes. “I’ll be okay, short stuff. But we really have to get away from these people if we can.”