#mischievous-thunder

A random person, to Remus: Wow! You’ve got such a huge collection of collars and leashes.

Sirius: Yes! Because his most adorable dog is a well-behaved good boi.

James: Actually, they’re for Remus’s husband for when his boi is more obnoxious than his usual self.

Geralt, drunk and jealous: Do you think people will ever stop eyeing Jaskier up?

Yennefer: *Takes a long sip of her wine*

Yennefer:No.

Enough socialising for the day

Jaskier, extremely mad at Geralt: Sometimes I wonder where that himbo carries all his idiocy and audacity.

Yennefer: Haven’t you noticed his pockets? They’re huge on purpose.

Person A: Tell me something weird that you do on a daily basis.

Person B: That’d be screaming “What the hell is wrong with you people?” at several different species out of frustration.

Venom: Eddie! EDDIE! I just saw some pure bread dogs.

Eddie: You mean purebred, right?

Venom: NO. Let me show you-

Person A, furiously: What do you think I am? A moronic bitch?

Person B, sipping on their tea: Now, if I say something, I’m going to look like the bad person.

Person A: Do you think that there’s a human equivalent of looking for glasses while they’re on your head?

Person B:

Person A: It’s me, isn’t it?

Person B, to their child: Eat your breakfast, darling. It’s the most important meal of the day.

Person A, who’s decided to choose violence as they’re bored: We all know that’s a complete lie. It’s dessert.

Person B: Did it hurt?

Person A: Did what hurt?

Person B, grinning smugly: When I asked you to Google and you realised that I was right?

Jaskier: Why would anyone even begin to think of going big?

Geralt: What?! Listen-

Jaskier: Especially when the alternative is getting to go home?

Yennefer: He’s got a point, you know.

Person A: Why don’t you ever listen to me?

Person B: How did I do everything you asked me not to do this morning if I wasn’t paying attention to everything you said?

Poor thing!

Oh Geralt, you poor thing!