The 4 of us were invited to a post pride party this weekend. The host posted that “it’s our 1st LS party!” I might be really a little naive, because I thought it meant the 1st party at their new house where the guests just happen to be LS friends.
When the hostess started posting pics of the play areas, the penis piñata, and condom/wipe station, I realized, ohhhhh…THAT kind of LS party. Which is cool, too, but…..
There was a time that Chandler and I would’ve been super excited to hit up this party, and eagerly checking out the guest list to see who we might hook up with.
Now, however, we’re just so happy and content with Ross and Rachel, and the party scene has lost its appeal. We still love hanging out with our swinger friends, and making out with them is fun, but none of us really have that desire to hook up with them.
We’re all kinda just with each other right now, but we’re not exclusive and probably will never designate our status as such. That eases my anxiety that Ross and Rachel won’t ever feel tied down. But for now, we’re all pretty damn happy to skip the house play parties.
for a limited time (until the end of this month), I will be taking requests for Pride Month chibis! I will not get to all of them, but I will get to as many as possible.
example:
send a character via reblog on this post and include gender, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and either a detailed reference or a VERY detailed description. I’ll tag you if/when I’ve completed it.
Polyamory stimboard for @ailduinwithblack, gold, and soft red and blues!
Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple romantic, sexual, queerplatonic, and/or other types of relationships with the same sense of connection, with the consent of all the people involved.
I just got into a poly relationship with a couple who have been together for five years, we’ve been friends for three, we’ve all been dating for a month now. They have a whole pattern of existing already. We’re all new to polyamory. We all spend time together really well, me and her alone is okay, but she gets jealous when I spend time with him alone. I want to be able to spend time equally with both of them alone without her getting upset. I don’t know how to approach the topic since it’s all new and I don’t want to hurt her, but I also want to fully enjoy both relationships I have with them separately as well as together. He wants to spend time with me without her being upset as well. Do you have any advice for gently talking boundaries for a new relationship?
We all learned (or, at least, we were all supposed to learn) in kindergarten that it’s generally not okay to do things that make other people feel upset or hurt. So I don’t want to tell you that you’re wrong for caring about this, or that it’s a good idea to just go around doing things that you know make other people - especially people that you care about! - feel upset or hurt.
HOWEVER. As adults in relationships with other adults, it’s not always feasible for your goals to be based on someone else’s feelings. You say that you don’t want her to be upset, but there’s nothing you can do to control her feelings, and sometimes, people are just going to have feelings. You can’t change them and you can’t take responsibility for them. This person chose to enter into a polyamorous relationship with you two, and she is responsible for managing her choices and behaviors in this situation.
My question for you, to start, is how do you know that she “gets jealous” or is “upset?” If there is some behavior of hers that is making this relationship untenable, if she is treating you coldly or picking fights or something, then you can talk to her about that. You can let her know how those behaviors are affecting you, and clarify what needs to change for this three person relationship to function in a way that’s healthy for everyone.
Theoretically, all three of you have the same goal: for him, you, AND her to be comfortable, happy, healthy, and functional within the relationship. You’ll want to ask her what you and he can do to help her feel more secure, and if she asks you for things that are possible and reasonable, try doing those things. Then it will be your turn to let her know how this is affecting you, and what you need from her to make the relationship work.
Ultimately, she needs to manage her own emotions and not make them your responsibility. If she just needs to work through these feelings, then try not to make them your problem or get too fussed over them. Someone can be out in the world being upset without that needing to take up emotional real estate in your head. Figure out whether you and your new partner can navigate your togetherness without constantly worrying about what she might be thinking, and then if there is an issue, address her actions rather than the feelings you’re perceiving her to have.
im always open about wanting a poly relationship, but recently I realized I cant do mono forever & told my partner. They were a little hurt, but ultimately said they wanted to open the relationship. Since then though, they’ve broken down crying about it twice (haven’t even been with anyone else yet). I dont feel right about this, but they keep insisting its better than losing me. They refused counseling with me, & idk what else to do. Theyre REALLY going through a lot rn, but idk if i can stay
Don’t stay in this relationship. Someone “going through a lot” doesn’t obligate you to stay in a relationship. If you’re at the point of “I don’t know if I can stay” and “they refused counseling with me,” it’s time to get out. When you said you needed to change the terms of the relationship, they may have said that they will abide by those new terms, but their behavior shows that they are not. You don’t need my permission to leave this relationship, but you have my support and encouragement.
