#remus lupin
Sirius: Remus is too tall for me to kiss, what should I do?
James: You could throw a book at him so he’ll drop down briefly enough for you to meet at the same eye-level as he ascends back up to the clouds to live amongst the giants.
Remus: Prongs, I’m only 6’7”!
Lily: ‘ONLY’?! *crunches popcorn* Pads, I’d recommend standing on a small, portable stool.
Frank: Or better yet, a table. *high fives James*
Alice: Hmm, you could try wearing really high-heels?
Dorcas: No, Sirius’ heels are already high enough to twist his ankles at any sudden movement, we don’t want to kill him.
Peter: Maybe grab his neck and climb up on him like a spider monkey.
Marlene: Dude, just jump up as high as possible and hope for the best.
Remus: Or you could do none of that and just ask me to lean over?
Sirius: Darling, Dumbledore called - we have to go help Marlene and Alice, apparently the Death Eaters have them surrounded in Nocturn Alley.
Remus: Go without me! I’ll grab my wand and be with you in just a second.
Sirius: Of course!
Remus: And Sirius?
Sirius:Yes?
Remus: Be careful.
Sirius: Pffft, I’m always carefu- *walks straight into doorframe*
Remus: *raises eyebrows*
Sirius: In DANGEROUS situations, Moony.
Sirius: *apparates out*
Remus: That bloody liar.
Remus: Where have you been?! I was worried sick!
Sirius: *soaking wet* James and I decided to fight the giant squid because she stole his lunch, but we tried to do it wearing his invisibility cloak - long story short: that didn’t work, we lost the cloak and then we spent three hours trying to fish it back out with the squid attacking us.
Remus:…
Remus: Sirius, love of my life, sun to my moon, yee to my haw, what the actual fuck?
Sirius: *blushing* I’m the love of your life?
Remus:*panics*
Because apparently I hate myself and wanted to rip my heart out I found out that the first full moon after Remus Lupin lost everyone important to him in his life including the love of his life and fiancé, Sirius Black was Wednesday 11th November, 1981. This was also the first transformation we can confirm that he endured alone since he was fifteen.
REMUS ahhh; he then faced unemployment and homelessness for the next 13 years, held a job for one year before being forced out because of his lycanthropy (and he was too tired to fight it by that point because he’d suffered so much already. What discrimination protection laws do wizards have?) and then lost the love of his life AGAIN?! AGONY. Then JK Rowling decided to conveniently produce Harry with an orphaned godson. You didn’t deserve what you got you pure sweater-wearing, chocoholic bisexual angel.
James: Stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I will” to become a happier person.
Remus: I will I wasn’t a werewolf.
Sirius: I will I had a good family.
Lily: I will my sister wasn’t such a bi-
James: And thaat’s enough sharing for today, folks.
*on the Hogwarts Express*
Remus: Please, Sirius - for the last time - stop making train puns.
Sirius: I’m sorry I took it too far, I just have a one track mind, you know?
Remus: That’s it, I’m done.
Sirius: Moony, don’t derail our relationship!
James: Guys, we should really go out to Hogsmeade - it’s been ages! Pads, are you free after we get out of detention with McGonagall on Sunday?
Sirius:Yeah!
James:Remus?
Remus:Probably.
James: Excellent! I’m not!
Remus:?
Sirius:?
James: Have fun on your date!
Remus: Wait, did he really just…?
Sirius: *mouthing to James* Thank you.
Imagine receiving the phone call that your girlfriend and the rest of her family were murdered in the night by Death Eaters, that you were powerless to save the love of your life - the woman you had bought an engagement ring for, whose flat you shared, whose future you had planned with. What was left? What was there to fight for now she was gone?
You swallow hard, deciding to gather her things from your flat and stick them in boxes, so as to not break down into tears everytime you see a rogue sock of hers draped over the laundry basket; you pawn off the silver ring, you put the polaroids you took together into an album and you try to remove her scent from the flat, half-hoping and half-fearing for it to be gone. Knowing you will never smell her sweet lavender oil again, nor wryly smile at her obsessive love for muggle rock bands, or hear the husk of her whisper late at night. It’s eerily silent: the flat, it’s just - not the same.
You realise that you’re the one responsible for organising her funeral as well as her family’s, since no one else is left to mourn them. But you know it’s likely you will be the only one in attendance - with James and Lily in hiding, the rest of the Order on the run. Where can you bury her? How can you mourn her? This vivacious young woman, whose warm palms you can still feel on your skin, whose thumping heart would pulse against your ear when you rested against her chest. The woman who was your world. The woman who was just, here.
Dorcas Meadowes was attacked by Death Eaters in her West London flat two weeks after the death of her fiancée, Marlene McKinnon. Hit by the killing curse, witnesses claim she threw down her wand moments before her death. The Order hosted a joint memorial service in honour of her and Marlene, wands raised to the night sky at the tragedy of two talented young witches, both aged 21, killed in combat.
Dumbledore: Look, I know that I’m typically quite lenient about the mischief you lot get up to, but this time it’s crucial that I know whether or not you did it - because it could have been dangerous for both parties involved.
Dumbledore: Sirius, Mr Lupin, Miss McKinnon, Miss Meadowes; I need you to be straight with me.
Sirius:
Remus:
Marlene:
Dorcas:
Dumbledore: Okay, I realise that was difficult for all of us.
Monday
Sirius: Remus’ hair looks so nice today.
James: Sure, mate.
Tuesday
Sirius: Merlin’s beard, his eyes are stunning - there’s like this ring of blue on the outside and it’s kind of brownish in the inner ring.
James: I never noticed.
Wednesday
Sirius: Tall people are just objectively way more attractive, you know?
James: Remus is tall.
Thursday
random really pretty Hogwarts girl: Would you like to go to the dance with me?
Sirius: Thank you so much for the offer, but I’ll have to pass.
James:!?!!
Friday
Sirius: James, I’ve never said this to anyone before, but I think I have a crush on-
James: REMUS, REMUS LUPIN, MOONY MCMOON, I KNOW PADS, I KNOW.
Sirius: Wait, how?
James: How would you tell your crush that you like them?
Remus: Easy, I wouldn’t. I’ll just hold all my feelings right here *gestures to chest*, then one day I’ll die.
Sirius: So, you have a crush then?
James:*smirks*
Remus:*panics*
Remus: Do you believe in soulmates?
Sirius: Of course! All souls have friends!
Peter: *mouthing* What the fuckkk?
Post-transformation
After full moons, Remus was a wreck, he was lethargic, sore all over, and red from the new bruises and scars he had acquired through the night.
- Oftentimes, he’d try to make it through lessons the next day, cloth bandages seeping with blood as he stumbled up and down the stairs, assisted by James and Sirius when his legs gave way. Halfway through he’d have to stop; by then a migraine would kick in, or his limbs would ache so greatly when he moved them that they would go numb and limp. Sirius always made sure he sat next to Remus in classes, so when it ended and the other students had left, he could discreetly carry him over to Madam Pomfrey. Remus would thank him apologetically, slumping in the bed as aches and pains continued to plague him. He could never conceal his frustration with the fact that he’d ‘given up’, announcing he would be fine by tomorrow. Peter would always smile in agreement, “Of course Moony, just rest now.”
- Sometimes, he’d be so tired that nothing could wake him - and in the morning the Marauders would quietly get ready, leaving their dorm floor clear so he wouldn’t trip, and make sure some water and chocolate were placed by the bed - so if he woke up alone and unable to go to the kitchens at some point in the day, he’d have something to nibble on. Although James would reassure him, “Mate, you don’t have to leave the bed - don’t worry about anything, we’ve got you.” He’d still stumble out to do his homework, and on rare occasions, Sirius would discover him slumped over his desk, overcome with exhaustion. Remus would awaken - mysteriously back in his bed - tucked in cozily with Sirius sat beside him.
- The other Gryffindors were always curious as to how James and Sirius could possibly be hungry enough to take spare food back to the dorm, but the house elves knew to leave a plate and utensils so Peter, James and Sirius could empty the contents of their stowaway dinner onto it and deliver it to him.
- When it was really bad, Remus wouldn’t wake up until the middle of the night following his transformation; but he always awoke to a drowsy Sirius - with a cushion propped up by the bedside table and and a hand outstretched clasping his. “What are you doing awake at this hour?” He would whisper, combing his tense fingers through Sirius’ dark mane, to which Sirius would mutter something or other about a homework he hadn’t done or a book he was reading: Sirius was a terrible liar. Every single time, Remus would insist: “Pads, I’m fine, stop waiting up for me like this. I need you to sleep and not worry.” Sirius would nod his head, “Okay, okay - I promise.” - but he’d never stop, not even in Azkaban - where he’d perch anxiously by the cold window, staring at the full moon.
- The Marauders would always delegate Remus’ classnotes and homeworks, which he hated, and always tried to cram in the week before his transformation to save his friends the trouble of completing all his work for him. James had unofficially decided to cover Transfiguration, Arithmancy and Potions, Sirius helped with Ancient Runes (though it was admittedly his worst subject), Charms, Divination and DADA, and Peter would pitch in with Astronomy, History of Magic and Herbology. Professors would occasionally receive identical homeworks with the same handwriting - but knew better than to inquire further: McGonagall had already chatted to teachers about leniency for Mr Lupin.
- While Remus was resting in the hospital wing or the dorm, McGonagall would arrange to meet with the other boys: “How is he doing, Mr Potter?” “Have a biscuit, Sirius.” “Mr Pettigrew, I have spoken to Professor Sprout, about your recent absence of homework and ensured she will be more understanding of the situation in the future.” “So, I don’t have detention on Saturday?” As she watched them trail off to check on their friend, she couldn’t stop the smile that softened her serious demeanour. “Alright, Minerva?” Dumbledore would quip, pulling a lemon sherbert from his pocket. She’d smirk, “I have a reputation to uphold, Albus.” and promptly return to her usual affairs.
This is somewhat based on another headcanon I’ve seen, but I’d like to envisage that Remus, being the lovely geek he is, is quite a talented linguist, and often tries to pick apart texts in Latin or teach himself French through the rendition of short stories in his free time, and laments his lack of a conversation partner to the other Marauders much of the time.
“Well Latin’s a dead language - you can’t bloody well expect someone to speak it,” Peter quipped.
“Merlin’s Beard, Wormtail, I’m not expecting to causally be able speak Latin to someone. It’s just that: all of our spells are based on Latin, and it wasn’t so long ago that the ruling classes were required to learn it-”
“Is there anyone you can practise French or Italian with, though?” asked James.
Sirius often bit his tongue during such discussions; though the traditional native tongue of the Black family, Sirius hadn’t actually spoken any French in years. Since he was quite young, he would defiantly respond in English to the annoyance of his parents; the only people who spoke French with him growing up. Even small proverbs or phrases would thrust him back into his tumultuous home life - recalling the many occasions where his parents used to dig at him in public, suddenly feeling the tightness of his chest as his heart pounded, shrinking into a powerless little boy again.
He never mentioned his skills to anyone: not to his friends, not to his teachers, not even when Beauxbatons visited the school, because he knew that feeling would rise in his chest again. But, it was Remus’ love of the language that prompted Sirius to reclaim his native tongue.
Suddenly, something had shifted - when he heard French, it no longer reminded him of his mother’s scalding tone or father’s icy anger - but instead of Remus’ soft demeanour, his measured pronunciation, the gentle lilt in his voice as he read books out loud to practise his accent. He could recall the happy days of laying out on the grass, the crest of Remus’ head reflecting the gentle warmth of the sunlight as he recited poems hundreds of years older than themselves. Remus was reshaping a part of himself that he had hidden away for so long, he felt could barely remember it.
So one day, when the morning was still breaking outside, Sirius awoke to Remus sitting upright, clenching a copy of Pensées - his brow furrowed and eyes squinted. He shuffled towards Remus on the bed, trying to catch where his eyeline was resting - stuck - for a short while, “I’m just finding this impossible to translate.” Remus murmured huffily, noticing his boyfriend’s movement in the corner of his eye.
A cheeky smile marked Sirius’ face as he said, “Ce n’est pas la mer à boire” which prompted Remus’ eyes to widen in shock. However, Sirius continued, proceeding to point his index finger at the line, “L’homme est également incapable: man is incapable all the same,” he muttered, “de voir le néant d’où il est tiré et l’infini où est englouti: to behold the nothingness from which he is drawn and the infinity which is engulfed?” and then chuckled at himself, “jE nE sAiS pAs.”
Remus playfully hit him with the paperback, “YouknowFrench?!” Sirius could only smirk, “… This isn’t the most interesting book you know, it ends up feeling like a muggle author having an existential crisis as he juggles religion and science - there are some wizard authors that I like in particular…”
And Remus just stared, sweetly dumbfounded and impressed by this newfound insight - not necessarily of Pensées, but of Sirius.
(Full disclosure, feel free to correct any/all of the French used in this post!)
Sirius: If you aren’t someone the muggle church would have killed 300 years ago, are you even living?
James: Uh Pads, you do realise that we’re all witches and wizards, right?
Remus: *raises eyebrows* Perhaps he’s referencing something else.
James: I suppose I do have the slight tendency to be a bit hyperactive at times.
Peter:Suppose?
Remus:Slight?
Lily:“Tendency”?
Sirius: A bit?
Professor McGonagall: At times?!
Remus: We should really spice things up in the bedroom.
Sirius:Totally!
*later that day*
Remus: Sirius, what’s that on the bed?
Sirius: *whispers seductively* Paprika…
Lily: Describe your ideal boyfriend.
Remus: Hmm, probably rather energetic, creative, dark hair and light eyes, I tend to prefer partners who are shorter than me.
Lily: You’re just describing Sirius, aren’t you?
*later that day*
Lily: Describe your ideal boyfri-
Sirius:Remus.
