#remus john lupin

favorite character : *has been alive for a suspiciously long time in the series*

People who love this character and have been emotionally scarred from past favorite characters’ deaths: that fact that you’re alive is a miracle…jus stay alive, that would be enough

Series summary: Sometimes, you might feel lonely in the entirety of the universe; of all of the stars, planets and constellations… Until it comes. The big bang that turns the world upside down, the reason why all the stars collide and why you, in the first place, are alive.

Part summary: Remus wasn’t as social as you’d maybe assume when you’d got to know him. Yet althrough his personal struggles, for some reason, Dumbledore had chosen him as his new DADA teacher.

A/N:Okay, this is more or less the first, informative, get-into-the-story chapter and there’s not much happening at the moment. I swear, we will pump it up, just give it at least two parts. 

Word count: 2.3 K

Tagging:@notaliteraltoad​

Series playlist: H E R E

Series masterlist: H E R E 

If you’d ever put a piece of parchment, inkwell and a goose quill and asked Remus John Lupin do describe himself with a few sentences, the parchment would be empty for a few minutes before he’d settle on one small word: a loner. He was alone for quite a time, he wasn’t too attracted by the idea of a human accompany; after everything that happened with Sirius, James and Peter, he wasn’t quite sure if he would be able to connect with a someone new at the time of speaking. The second word he’d most probably used would be ill - then, he would cross the word and write ’seriously ill’ instead.

There wasn’t a lot of people who knew what Lupin was going through or what kind of illness he was diagnosed with thanks to hiding away at the edge of every thinkable society; his bad state was visible just from looking at him. His skin was dry and almost transparent almost all the time and when his illness was getting the best of him, he even appeared lightly green. His hair was slowly thinning out as he grew older, but it still wasn’t as bad as it could be. The only thing that remained the same over the last few decades were his eyes.

The last sentence he would write would most likely say ’down to earth’. It was a rather generous name for not having much money, always looking shabby and, as some wizards or witches would say, second-like hand. Not that Lupin would be proud of what he was looking like, but there weren’t many things he could with it - wizards with his sort of ‘illness’ rarely got a good job proposition if they ever ended up having one.

For everything that was stated above and far more, it was a miracle when he got approached with a job offers from one of the most well-respected, smartest and brilliant wizard of all time, Album Dumbledore himself. The old man found him hidden away in Yorkshire, living in one tumbledown, semi-derelict cottage at the line of poverty itself. Remus felt like he didn’t have the right to complain; he was a damn werewolf. And thanks to the small reminder spoiling his whole face, everyone who could order him something to do for a living knew about this aspect of his life way sooner than Remus would’ve liked them to.

The night Dumbledore had walked into his humble home, he barely got one shirt that held together without patches; most of his clothes was patched up already - all of his trousers and coats surely. At first, he vehemently dismissed Dumbledore’s wish for Lupin working at his school as a DADA teacher. What Dumbledore was suggesting was pure madness. Remus always thought he’s a calm and tolerable man - yet when Albus told him everything that he was asking of him, Remus almost lost it.

Yes, of course - there were the mad werewolves like Fenrir Greyback who hunt children down just for sport and making sure that more and more people would be carrying this sick curse. Lupin hated these sons of bitches the most. He himself was one of their victims in the end. And Albus Dumbledore, the most brilliant man Lupin had ever met, one of the few that Lupin had real respect for was asking him to be a teacher at the biggest wizarding school in all of England, Ireland and Scotland? No. That was an offer that couldn’t be accepted, that was pure madness. He would never willingly get near such a cluster of young people who were full of dreams and had their lives ahead of themselves. What would happen if he would lose control? How many people would get hurt because of one slip? Did Dumbledore realize how many things he was betting by asking Remus such thing?

But to Remus’ surprise, Albus smiled dismissively and stood up from his half-broken-down sofa. With a serious face, Dumbledore had told him that now, he had a professor who could brew the perfect Wolfsbane potion every month and according to Albus, this said the professor was a potions master and genius. However, if Lupin wouldn’t trust himself as much to spend the night of wolfing out inside the Forbidden Forest, there still was the Shrieking shack, just like Remus used to remember it. As a small topic for consideration, Albus left there a small bag with thirty Galleons laying on the coffee table, so Lupin could at least buy himself the most basic needs - whether he would take the job offer or not, the money was his to use, to keep or to give to someone else.

After that, Albus left the cottage. He knew what he was doing and what Remus is capable of. When Albus was leaving, he was smiling and humming a jolly song; he knew very well that he’s leaving Remus with his thoughts alone and he knew very well that this lycanthropic wizard had one of the biggest potentials for teaching Albus had ever encountered.

Everything got sealed on one dark August night. It was mostly the idea of him and Black meeting that made Remus send an express letter to Hogwarts. Sirius Black, the insane wizard that had murdered twelve muggles and his very own best friend, had escaped from Azkaban. Anyone could tell how he had done it, anyone knew where he was and what was he planning to do. Yet Remus had the feeling he should be counting on Sirius visiting him; in the end, Black already murdered one of their small group of friends and helped with murdering the second one… Remus had the feeling that Black might be wanting to finish what had happened in 1981 and for that, he accepted Dumbeldore’s proposition. He was to be one of the Hogwarts teachers.

During the rest of the summer and hiding away, Lupin started to study the materials for each year he was to teach; back in his school days, he was one of the greatest students Hogwarts had seen. There was rarely a test in which Lupin got worse than Exceeding Expectations. It was mostly caused by his natural interest in the art of wizardry and by Remus’ gratefulness - Dumbeldore let him study like every other normal student and prevented him from hurting anyone else during the full moon. And DADA? Dear Merlin, he always had a deep appreciation for this class. One of his biggest DADA achievements was that he could cast the Patronus Charm without too much of a trouble. Also… The creatures were quite brilliant and before Lupin could comprehend, he was looking forward to sharing his knowledge with all of the young people in Hogwarts.

At the same time, he realized that he will be there. Son of James and Lily Potter. His name was Harry and he had last seen when he was smaller than Lupin’s forearms. He was nothing more than a sweet, laughing boy covered in one big blanket. How old was he now? Twelve? Thirteen? Remus couldn’t even count it down properly, he just knew that the boy’s going to be there once be starts his teaching career.

As to be expected, the safety precautions around Hogwarts got more intense - Nd so did everywhere else. Lupin was especially aware of that once a Dementor harassing a black-hearted boy had woken him up. And to his realization, it was Harry Potter himself who got into trouble. The most logical thing that came to mind was to talk to the staff and to make sure there are no more dementors inside the train.

Yet once he made sure the train was safe, he couldn’t bring himself to go back to the coupe and rather stayed in the corridors on a watch, trying to ensure the safety inside the train. His mind, on the other hand, was racing - James’ son, his murdered best friend’s son, was inside and he looked just like James. Except for the eyes. Those were, without a doubt, Lily’s. Lupin didn’t expect such a low blow on his very first day. At that moment, he promised himself to be better. He promised himself that he’d teach the kids everything he knew; and he was particularly excellent in this subject, so the kids had.

The first days at school were… Good. Lupin wasn’t particularly all over the place because he wasn’t quite comfortable with the all-the-time type of company. The other teachers tried to talk to him, to make him feel good about himself and the purpose of his staying inside the school’s walls and he didn’t avoid the introduction where the whole Great hall had given him short applause.

McGonagall, who was sitting next to him, persisted on Remus calling her “Minerva” and every time he dared to call her Mrs professor, she gave him a furrowed look, correcting him in her straight-to-the-point type of voice. Madame Pomfrey was also fond of seeing him after such a long time in a pretty good shape and Hagrid tried his absolute best to behave; there was still quite a lot of memories inside other’s minds that connected him with Sirius and Remus could understand the worried looks and careful words. Needless to say, the whole feast was delicious as it usually was in Hogwarts and after such a long and draining day, he was glad to walk the quiet and dark halls before he took off to his room, located close to the DADA schoolroom to have some proper and certainly refreshing sleep.

First classes after the feast in the Great hall were the worst for Remus. There were new faces to remember, a lot whole more of names and… At first, he was lost when it came to some of the students. The name of Justin Flinch-Fletchey didn’t crawl into his brain until the end of the first week; however, there were people of whom he was very aware against his better judgement.

One of them was Harry and his two friends, Hermione and Ronald - no matter what they said or did, they always looked there are about to cause some mischief. This, of course, could be only a feeling inside of Lupin’s guts; yet from other professors, he listened to the wild stories about the past two years; all of which had Potter himself in the centre. Another student he was keeping his eyes on was Neville Longbottom, the son of Alice and Frank. The fates of his parents were heartbreaking and growing up with his grandmother, who was a persistent and unpleasant woman at times, had to be hard for such a gentle soul. There were moments when Lupin could see glimpses of his own uncertainty and shyness in Neville’s words. At last, there was a girl from Hufflepuff named Rosamunda who caught his eye simply because her mother was one of his former schoolmates.

Kids who caught his attention naturally without having some sorts of a past connection with him were Fred and George Weasley who were friends with Lee Jordan, another Griffindor student - they were quite a loud and jolly party who, when the topic was right, had a lot of questions and were very curious about the subject. On the other hand, when they didn’t have one of those days, they could be annoying, to say the least. Another girl, Heather from Ravenclaw, had caught his eye simply because of her unusually deep interest in DADA. There were no students who would give him any sorts of trouble, which was also a win. As Lupin got a hold on his classes step by step, it suddenly didn’t seem to be so out worldly that he’d have the potential to be a teacher - and a good one.

Sure, there were concerns expressed by others member of the staff, especially by Snape, that were regarding his lycanthropy. Yet as Dumbledore had sworn to him, everyone was doing their best when it came to that - madame Pomfrey made sure that the Shrieking shack is at the disposal all the time, Snape was brewing the potions even though his mostly anti-Lupin agenda and Dumbledore himself sworn to him that if there would be a situation in which a student was to be harmed, he himself would prevent that.

Everything seemed to be falling in its place.

It was the break between the noon and afternoon classes in which Lupin was to assigned to have a patrol on the small courtyard opposite the Great hall where some students took their lunches so they could spend some time out in the open before the weather gets bad. And the occupation of the courtyard was quite big - some students were just taking a short break and played Exploding snap throughout, the Weasley twins were throwing some kind of small, non-burning fireworks at each other and there were even people who simply chatted the whole period away. Lupin himself was quietly standing in one of the corners, leaning into a wall dressed in one of his shabby sweaters and ate an apple while overseeing the whole situation.

There was a moment where he didn’t notice it at all - someone had crashed into a group of three students, taking two of them down onto the ground. It was hard to see what was happening there since there was quite a lot of people in the way. The only thing he could see were people picking off the ground as another person was running off inside the castle. Honestly, he didn’t know where to jump first - if he should go to help the students laying on the ground. - “I am so sorry! I will buy you a lollipop or something!” - The woman who jumped at them yelled over her shoulder and disappeared inside the castle. He could only see a grey sweater, long black pants and her hair flow in the wind as she ran for… For an unknown reason.

The only thing he had seen was her back, he could hear her yelling some nonsense at the students and even though, it knocked the apple out of his hand as he looked at her disappearing. There was something. Remus couldn’t exactly name it, but there was some energy about her. Yet in the end, he walked to the group to check on them, letting the woman disappear inside.

I swear that I’m nearly done with the first chapter of The Big, Big Bang (Lupin x reader), but I have a lot of college-related work at the moment, plus part-time job, I’ve been exploring a bit of wilderness and also I am not in the most creative of moods! I swear I’ll try to be done with it as soon as I can! Love y'all.

Have at least some photos I’ve taken on the trip. ✨

Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so

- Sirius Orion Black

Reference:X

sirius, remus, marlene and dorcas would be marauders era stans & lily, james, peter, alice and mary would be golden trio era stans

i think its kinda sad that remus is almost always called “lupin” in the books but sirius is always “sirius”or “his godfather”. maybe this is just because remus used to be his professor but i still feel like its a bit unfair.

just like voldemort and the death eaters calling peter wormtail???? like no???? that was a marauders thing.

the marauders search history.

peter:

• 10 cool things rats can do
• how to be the coolest friend
• my friend got disowned what do i do
• magic chess board blue
• am i a squib

remus:

• am i gay
• how gay am i
• how to call someone when you’re at hogwarts
• david bowie
• how to fix broken walls
• the sirius star
• sirius black images

james:

• does she hate or love me
• prank ideas
• chrismas gifts
• how to deal with homophobes
• do i have a crush on my best friends brother
• shipmaker

sirius:

• am i gay
• daddy issues by the neighborhood
• david bowie
• how to sneak a record player into my house
• i like my best friend what do i do
• how to kiss a boy
• how hot/cool am i

some marauder era headcanons i like

• sirius definitely knew how to play the piano.
• like he didnt like doing it because his parents probably forced him to learn it but sometimes he still plays a bit and remus would hum along
• mary can sing. like a fucking angel.
• james made a joke ab sirius’ name when they first met.
• during the week of the full moon peter would sneak into the kitchens a bit more than usual and steal lots of chocolate for remus
• sirius and james definitely had peter convinced remus was a werewolf but also a flying one but he also had some vampire in him for at least a week until remus told them to ‘fuck off’
• marlene probably loved funny sunglasses
• lily and sirius probably had“break his heart and i’ll kill you” conversations about james and remus
• “lils we need to talk.” “yeah sirius we do.” and then they’d just say it at the same time.
• sirius always leaned back in his chair and has definitely fallen backwards a few times
• the marauders have given mcgonagall christmas gifts at least once
• james always joked about thinking regulus was attractive to annoy sirius ( he definitely did but thats not the point )

if u have more pls tell me i love them!

last night i was really tired but i had to study so i asked myself what would sirius black do.

i flipped off my history books and went to sleep.

my dad: who is sirius

me: i’m glad u asked.

my dad: oh god no nvm i take that back pls don’t

today as i started crying about yet another gay ship and eventually ran upstairs screaming the lyrics to taylor swift songs i felt like i was exactly the type of (almost) 16 year old my 9-12 year old self wanted me to be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMU I LOVE U SM

my mom reading the question on the tea bag: “who inspires you to-”

me: “remus lupin”

HELP MY FYP IS FULL OF TIKTOKS OF THE MARAUDERS WITH THE SONG “SO THIS IS XMAS” AND I CAN’T STOP CRYING

Moony, after the first war

Remus: I have concluded that I can’t deal with people stupider than me.

James, Sirius and Peter:

Sirius: But you deal with us.

Remus with tons of empty coffee cups beside him and sleep-deprived eyes: Do I really?

Laser Tag

Sirius, on the blue team: Truce, okay?

Remus, on the red team: Sure, love.

*Later*

Remus, shooting Sirius: Bitch, you thought.

/: An old fic I wrote ehe. I’m a sucker for angst what can I say. Hope you dearies are ok and enjoy!

: Remus Lupin × Reader

: around 3000

: Fluff/Angst

// . .

As I ran along the corridor, late for class, I bumped into someone with a loud ouch.

“I’m so sorry”

“Hey its no problem, let me help you,” a soft voice responded. As I reached for my potions home work, a hand brushed mine.

Remus John Lupin, my rival. The only person who’s intelligence rivaled mine. The person who makes my life living hell. The sweetest gum-drop to everyone, loved by all. However, I’m not “all.”

“Y/N?” he asked, looking at you with those big brown eyes.

“I’m fine Lupin,” I responded as I grabbed my book from his hand.

“At least let me-”

“I said I’m fine.”

He slowly got up, and offered me a hand. I huffed and shoved it as I stood.

“You know I was only trying to help y-”

“I’ll see you in class Lupin,” and with that I stormed off, leaving a very confused boy.

Now you’re probably wondering, what makes one hate Remus Lupin, the sweetest guy, the glory of the marauders. Well let me tell you, not much.

My mother and his were the very best of friends, there by, we became best friends. Every holiday, every weekend, every opportunity we got, we were at the Lupins. Remus and I grew close. He shared his love for reading with me, a love I always had but never felt so confidence to share with him.

From fantasy to romance, I read it all, but I never shared it with him. The vulnerability I felt knowing he’d see what I enjoyed, what I loved, what I wanted, it was too much. His mum told my mum about his “illness.” He thought himself a freak, a monster. He would cry about it, the pain he felt, the embarrassment of scars. To me, he was all but an angel sent from heaven, beautiful and pure.

Before we began Hogwarts, we made a promise to never leave each other’s sides, to remain best of friends, no matter the houses or the circumstances. As it turned out, we weren’t sorted in the same house. Everyone was shocked knowing that studious Remus was sorted in Gryffindor while me, odd-ball and awkward, was sorted in Ravenclaw. At first we were both shocked, but we kept the promise.

Until one faithful day.

Now while I never shared my love for reading with him, I did share everything else. My love for baking, knitting and potions, you name it, he knew. We shared our darkest secrets with each other. He shared his insecurities about his scars, and me my insecurity about being “fat.” We made plans to open a book/tea shop, he would supply the books and I the tea, obviously. He knew everything about me, except for my reading and I knew everything about him. And for that, I loved him, but he never loved me.

In the beginning of the first year in Hogwarts, in the middle of a potions class, we were presented with amortentia. Why we were presented with such a complex potion at such a young age, I couldn’t tell you. Perhaps Professor Slughorn was feeling cheeky. I smelt him in it.

I smelt the soft worn out pages of the books that he read, I smelt the roses he always grew, his chocolate he always carried and something entirely him. After class, we met at the lake, our place where we’d meet and study. As I approached him, he seemed really tired, as usual, and something I thought I never imagined he would posses, anger, raw and bitter anger.

“Hey Rem, you alright?” He turned to me with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“Rem oh Gods, whats wrong?” I rushed towards him and slowly wiped his tears away.

“Talk to me, please,” I asked softly while I wiped all evidence of tears.

He looked up at me, those beautiful kind eyes, eyes that held so much emotion but always the best ones.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said batting my hands away.

I awkwardly fixed my glasses, “Okay well whenever you’re ready, you want to start studying for our potions exam?” I began to unpack my bag when he got up, fuming.

“You know what, yeah I do want to talk about it” I sat up, completely confused.

“Remus?”

“Y/N how is it, the one person, the one person who hates reading, detests it, passes every exam without fail? And not just passes, but tops every class. How?”

I sat there gaping, “Well I-”

“Don’t lie to me, don’t you dare.”

I stood up, a feeling of anger consuming me. “What do you mean Remus? I study just like you, just like everyone.”

He grunted and groaned, “Stop lying to me,” he screamed, “I read everyday, I study all the time, and yet you, you get all the awards, all the academic glory”

I felt myself begin to heat up and tears begin to form, tears I begged not to fall.

“What do you want me to say Remus? That I cheat? That- That I use spells to make me remember? Is that what you want to hear?”

He stared at me, his gaze hardening.

“I’ll give you one chance, and one chance only, tell me the truth.” I step back, gaping, confused.

“I already told you Remus, I do the same as you, I study.”

He looked to me and said in a tone I never believed he could conjure, “Fine, if that’s what you want to tell me, don’t talk to me at all.”

“Remus you can’t be serious.” The tears I tried my best to hold, began to spill furiously as his words made me crumble.

“Y/N, I don’t ever want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to study with you and I sure as hell-”

“I smelt you in the amortentia today,” I blurt surprising myself.

“You what?”

“I smelt you, the chocolate, the roses, your books,” I say sniffling.

He laughed, a cruel sarcastic laugh, “Oh really? Me? You must be joking?”

I stared at him, confused and hurt.

“You think I’d ever smell you, or like you. Y/N you’re bloody lying to me, I could never like, or for that matter, love someone as hideous as you.”

My eyes began to gush now. How dare he? The one person I trusted, my best friend.

“Remus you don’t-”

“Oh but I do,” he said while he picked up his bag and looked at me.

“What about our plans?”

He looked to the school, “I could never work with someone like you Y/N, I’ve never disliked someone as much I dislike you now.”

He began to walk to the school,

“Remus wait I-”

“Leave me alone forever Y/N, and don’t come here anymore, I have other plans here, plans that don’t include you.”

With that, he walked away, leaving me, my tears streaming, my glasses foggy and my heart broken.

So you see, I never really hated him, but I obliged to his wishes. We never met again, he hung out with his friends, James and Sirius and Peter. As for me, I hung out with the first person I spoke to in Hogwarts, Andromeda Black. Now, Andromeda and I are two very different people, but we shared a love for potions . She knew of my love for reading, she saw me reading on my first night at Hogwarts. We became quick friends, and she soon became my best friend. She’s like a sister to me, but I never did tell her about Remus.

After I left Remus on the corridor, I ran and met Andromeda in potions.

“Hi dearie, saved me a seat?” She laughed and moves her bag.

“Students, please note, today we will be brewing potions in pairs,” the class sighs, “pairs that have already been chosen.” I sighed loudly.

“Cmon its not that bad, you could be paired with that cute Hufflepuff guy.”

We laughed softly. Remus and another guy ran in and swiftly sat down. Professor Slughorn began to call the list of pairs.

“Andromeda Black and Xenophilus Lovegood,” with that Andromeda groaned and got up.

“Y/N Y/L/N and Remus Lupin,” and my mouth fell open.

Remus came to my seat and we began to collect and prepare the potion. No one knew the potions name, only its ingredients. However, these ingredients seemed familiar but it never clicked. I felt his eyes stare through me.

From the first year to the fifth year, my body didn’t really change, I still remained a “fat girl” but hey I grew some boobs. Does he still think I’m hideous, I thought. I shook my head and we worked in silence.

“So how are you Y/N” he asked softly.

Those beautiful innocent eyes stared right through me. Nope, not happening.

“I’m fine Lupin”

“Quite the tumble you took today, I-”

“Let’s just finish this okay?” He shook his head and we worked in silence.

He seemed, nervous? Sad? Distressed was the word. After finishing the potion, we all gathered at the front. Dread began dawn on me as I fit the puzzle pieces together.

“Now, who can tell me the name of this potion hmm?”

“Amortentia , sir,” I said in a soft voice.

“And Y/N can you tell me what happens when you smell this potion?”

“You smell things that you love sir,” I answer shakily.

“Very good Miss Y/L/N, please, do us the honours of smelling the potion first.” Dread filled me, but I still walked towards his desk. Please, I silently beg, please.

“Well Y/N what do you smell?” I inhaled the the aroma.

“I smell- I,” I gulped, “I smell roses, chocolate a-and books.”

Professor Slughorn applauded

and awarded Ravenclaw 20 points and I return to my original place. I felt his eyes on me, but I only felt pain. After four years, how can I? As class is dismissed I began to rush outside, but he grabbed my hand.

“Y/N please wa-”

“Let go of me Lupin”

“Y/N, please I-”

“Lupin let go of me,” I heard my voice break with emotion. He heard it too and let me go.

Later that evening, at the brink of dusk, I sat in my room reading. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, a favourite of mine, and one of Remus’ too.

I sighed and stared out the window. Its been four years Y/N, pull yourself together. Those four years were one of the most brutal years. Thank goodness for Andromeda, without her I’d be so lost and defeated.

After that day where Remus and I fought, he moved on well, he was constantly surrounded by his friends and well I, I was alone. I spent my time helping Madam Pomfrey.

I learnt how to conjure spells to fix injuries and how to fix bones and so on. Although Remus and I stopped speaking, I never told anyone about his “illness,” but I did help make the potion to control it, Madam Pomfrey taught me how to.

He didn’t know this either, not that he’d care or want to talk to me or- Pull yourself together Y/N, he forgot about you, he kept his promise and you did too. I sighed and began to turn in for the night, my mind racing.

To say I avoided Remus for the next week was an understatement, I ran from him. I spotted him the corridor, I ran the other way. Saw him in class? Sat away from him. Saw him in the library or lake? I’d be gone before he could say quiditch. It hurt, but I needed to do it, our last conversation played in my head over and over again. I couldn’t bear his venom again, but I missed him, but could I manage without him? Hell yes.

On the Sunday that week, I walked down the stair well of my common room, wearing a fluffy sweater and cozy joggers. It was exactly midnight and I’d gone avoiding Remus perfectly.

The heavy monsoon of October interrupted my sleep, but otherwise the school was sound. I crept down and checked for anyone. No one, lovely. Now I know what you’re thinking, Y/N what on earth are you doing? Its bloody midnight. Well, I’ll tell you. I was going to read. Due to my hectic schedule and lack of free periods, I spent most of the day working. But at night, it was the only time I read. I grabbed my wand and made my way to the library, my footsteps muffled by the pitter patter of the rain.

As I reached the library, I sighed in relief. No hiccups on the way, thankfully. However, the scent of chocolate lingered in the air. I tensed but brushed it aside, he was here today Y/N, I said to myself. I shook my head and began to search for a new book.

I gently tapped my wand against a lantern and held it. Tonight was a mellow night, I wanted some excitement, a bit of comfort. I sighed, laughing to myself as I grabbed Pride and Prejudice from the bookshelf.

I made my way to my reading nook, a cozy little spot, very hard to find, between the ends of the furthest bookshelves. As I read, my eyes became droopy. Five minute won’t kill me, I convinced myself. As my eyes grew heavy and began to shut, a loud crash jolted me awake.

Who on this bloody earth would be in the library at this hour, I thought to myself. I extinguished the lantern and hid between two bookshelves. I held my breath and counted silently as I heard footsteps approaching. I exhaled slowly as I heard them fade away slowly. I stood up and sighed, picking my book from the ground, making my way back to my nook. Or I would have, if it weren’t for the hand that grabbed me.

I spun around and was promptly shoved against the bookshelf, a warm lean body pressing into my cold soft one. They covered my mouth but I saw no hand, their other hand trapping my hands above my head. They slowly removed their hand from my mouth, and removed their cloak. The warmest brown eyes, eyes filled with emotions I’ve only read about, met mine.

“Remus,” I exhaled in a mix of shock, hurt and relief.

He stared at me, those big thoughtful eyes watching my every move. He took his hand and fixed my glasses that slipped down.

“Hi Y/N,” he said softly. My heart caught in my chest and my throat felt thick with emotions.

“Let go of me Lupin,” despite me being a larger girl, Remus was still stronger, by a lot.

“Cmon Lupin, let me go, I’ll leave and you can have your private time,” I begged looking into those beautiful hazel eyes.

“If I let go,” he whispered softly, his breath tickling my ear, as he leaned in,“will you let me talk for a minute?”

My heart hammered, “Yes.” He slowly let go of my hands and stepped back. I sighed with relief, and then shoved him and ran.

I ran out the library, down the hall. I heard him calling my name but my tears that streamed my face answered why I couldn’t stay. After four years, I never did stop loving my- the big goof. I reached the end of the corridor and ran onto the lawn, a stitch forming in my right side. I gasped as I felt myself begin to freeze in the cold rainy night. Bloody twit used a hex on me. He approached me with a vigor and I stared at him, tears streaming, and my heart hurting.

“What the hell Remus, let me go,” I gritted as I tried to move. He took my wand away and held it.

“Look, I just want to talk, I’ll let you go but please, please listen to me,” he pleaded.

How could I ever say no to that beautiful boy? I nodded as best as I could and he unfroze me, my wand still in his hand.

I stared at him, my tears flowing in torrents, just like the rain,

“What do you want Remus? I did as you asked, I left you alone,” I shout over the boom of thunder. He looks at me and I saw tears flowing down his face too,

“Tell me the truth Y/N”

“Remus I di-”

“No Y/N, tell me why you wake up every night, why you sneak off to the library every night.”

“I-Remus b-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice cracking, “You made everyone believe you were uninterested, bored by reading. You lied to me,” I sobbed.

“I didn’t want you to-”

“To what Y/N to judge you?” he stepped closer to me as the rain and soaked our clothes.

“To what, think you a nerd? Like me?”

“No I-”

“Y/N is that really what you think of me, well than-”

“I lied because I couldn’t let myself be vulnerable around you,” I say as I sob looking away, “Remus, I- I didn’t want you to see what I liked or what makes me cry, or angry or happy,” I sniffed as thunder boomed, making us both jump.

“Then why did you tell Andromeda?” I gape at him, “Yeah why?” I felt my anger build up,

“She found me reading one day Lupin, I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I huffed as I began to walk away.

“I smelt you, in the amortentia,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion.

“In our first year, I smelt you,” he said, stepping closer to me,“I smelt green apples, like your perfume, cookies, like what we baked, and books. Books.”

I stood staring at him but he continued.

“I smelt you but you never told me about how you read, why you’d come to class tired, or why you stayed up all night. I thought you trust me Y/N”

“I did Remus and I do,” I cried, “I just couldn’t afford to be vulnerable around you.”

“Wh-”

“Because I love you Remus,” he stared his mouth ajar,

“I’ve always loved you Remus, I love that you trust me, that you showed me everything, your likes, dislikes, loves, hates, the good and bad.”

The thunder boomed but I continued,

“I didn’t tell you because I was scared Remus, it felt like sharing a piece of my heart with you, and I didn’t know if I wanted to share so much, knowing that you didn’t love me.” I sobbed miserably as tears flow slowly down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I never meant to hurt you,” he cried stepping closer to me,“I know what I said that day, and I’ve never forgiven myself for it,” he said as be wiped his eyes, the thunder rolling.

“I’m sorry and I know I hurt you, I thought you hated me,”

“Remus I-”

“I thought you hated me and preferred Andromeda to me.”

“Rem, you were my best friend, and I loved- I still love you,” I admitted, defeated, “I didn’t want to show you everything, I didn’t want you to hate me.”

He held my hands and intertwined our fingers,

“How could I hate you when you’re my love?” he asked, as he crashed his lips to mine.

My eyes widened but I slowly melted into his embrace. He dropped my hands and pulled me in gasping softly. His hands wrapped around my waist and mine, tangled in his chocolate locks. I never felt such passion, such emotion, emotions I only read about. I felt tingling sensations stretch across my body but his touch soon soothed it.

He pulled away slowly, both of us gasping for air.

“I’ve always loved you Y/N,” he said as he pulled me close, his hands wrapped around my waist,“I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m so-,”

I silenced him kissing him softly,

“It’s okay Rem, I would have probably gotten mad too,” I said sniffling.

He chuckled stroking the small of my back. “Well, I think of a way I can make it up to you.”

“Oh?” I sniffled as I look at my beautiful boy.

“Y/N, you are the love of my life, I love, love, love you,” he held my chin and and makes me look up at him. Raindrops and tears mixed and fell down both of our faces.

“Be my girlfriend, and maybe one day-maybe one-,” I kiss him and he sighs, relieved.

“Yes Rem, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He hugged me and kissed my forehead. We held hands and walked in the rain, talking and laughing.

“So how on earth did you know that I read in the night?” I asked him.

He laughed and pulled us into the corridor, sopping. He showed me the marauders map and explained it.

“I’m sorry I spied on you,” he apologized blushing. He held my hand and led me back to my common room.

When we reached, I turned to him.

“Thank you for the walk Rem, I’ll see you in class today?”

He smiled his signature gorgeous grin,

“How about we skip today?” I laughed and I kissed him,

“Whatever you want Rem, Whatever you want.”

• Remus Lupin

‘And I’ve told you a million times,’ said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, 'that I am too old for you, too poor… too dangerous… .’

Sirius: remember how I said James and I were going to have a calm night out for once?

Remus: yes

Sirius: well, we’re in jail

Remus: *hangs up*

Remus: Look Sirius I think you’re absolutely amazing

Sirius: Oh my god. Oh my god… oh my god..

Remus:*smiling*

Sirius: no! don’t please! why?!

Remus:No?

Sirius: I don’t understand why ur breaking up with me

Remus: sirius i’m literally getting on my knee

Remus, surrounded by books: I’m like four days past my bed time and emotionally shattered…

Remus: Yet I’ve never felt this alive!

Sirius: Moony single handly has the power to ruin my New Year if he doesnt doesn’t kiss me at midnight.

James:

James: I would say the same about Lily but…

Sirius: …it would never happen to begin with?

Remus: I am alive for three reasons.

Remus: I was born, I have managed to not be killed yet, and Sirius refuses to let me die.

Sirius: Someone peer pressure me to do my homework today…

Marlene: Do it or you’re straight.

Sirius: I said pressure not THREATEN!!

Kidnapper: We have your kid.

Euphemia: Which one?

Kidnapper: Umm… black hair, short, curses with a passion…

Euphemia: Oh you mean Sirius. If you think he’s bad wait until you meet the other three.

Remus: *loathing Sirius for eating his chocolate*

Sirius: *cracks a sly joke and grins at Remus*

Remus: *loathes him slightly less*

Sirius,at 6am: Well my day is officially ruined.

Remus: And why is that?

Sirius: Because you woke up exactly 30 seconds ago and haven’t given me a hug yet.

Remus: I talk to myself a lot because I need an expert opinion.

Sirius: Hey Remus, what do you want for Christmas?

Remus: Is that even a question… chocolate!!

Sirius: I’m your boyfriend I need to get you something better than that.

Remus: What is better than CHOCOLATE?!

*on his first day of Aurour training*

Harry: Fuck the government!

Hermione: Harry you are the government!

Harry: Well, fuck me then!

James: I put the sexy in dyslexia

Sirius: Oh yeah you do!

Marlene: James-

Lily: Don’t

Lily: I want to see how long it takes them to realize.

Lily: Remus? Did you ever fill out that form I gave about what you are looking for in a significant other?

Remus,hands her the form:

Lily: Okay… Remus this just says ”Hair color and Last name: Black”

Remus: I don’t see a problem with that.

Lily: So either you want to date Sirius, Regulus, or maybe even Walburga. But I’m pretty sure you arent into women or psychotic mothers.

Remus,snatchesform: Clearly I have to fine tune this a bit more…

James: *singing* I can take your mans if I want to, but lucky for you I don’t want to!

Sirius: Don’t you even try to steal my man!

Remus: He couldn‘t get me even if he tried.

Lily: Remus what in merlins name is Sirius planning on doing with the niffler in your backyard?

Remus: I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

Lily: But it’s illegal!

Remus: My point exactly, the less I know the better…

Marlene: I am an amazing driver!

Lily: You almost ran over Remus…

Marlene: But I did that on purpose.

Marlene: I was hoping Sirius would save him, then they would kiss and finally get together.

Lily:

Lily: Honestly that’s so stupid it might have actually worked.

Sirius: Happy father’s day.

Dorcas: But it’s mother’s day.

Sirius: Well I have been disowned so instead I show appreciation to my daddy.

Sirius: *winks at Remus*