Ever-light, lingering past abandoned stars, Veil, nor pall, ethereal, could obscure you; Eternalized, you are, in guarded memoirs, Reigning my cognizance; forever renewed. You verily meant everything to me; The sheen that I behind all that glitters see. Heaven and hell were equally divine In life lived as yours… when you were mine. No dejection could ever taint that time grim; Gone you now are, but not true love’s hymn.
One flower left amid the green of newgrown leaves. It almost seems out of place, this pristine star, showpiece of the magnolia. I bought it when I was in love, or maybe because — I was smitten, that’s for sure — and now, years later there’s a lesson to be taught:
The beatitude of the flowers in bloom I so easily mistook as the prime of this life, proves to be merely its prelude. The green, I now see, in these humbly unfolding leaves; destined to breathe, has nothing to do with eyes being caught, star-struck. Nor with the initial excitement of allurement; the many thrills of buttoning seduction. It has nothing to do with the awe of interstellar travel, imagined, and experienced by simple virtue of perceiving.
These humbly green leaves depict the days of roots deepening; of growth, development, and branches strengthening; of proof and reassurance, that it is here that life thrives, and is nurtured. These are days depicting all that makes sure this life remains.
I think about a love that stays.
We bloom too, and so, spectacularly, before the emergence of the humbly green leaves. It seems, we favour flowers over roots, and all too ignorantly. So often already blowing with the wind without giving a chance to the following spring. The flowers must last forever. A preposterous concept. I look at the one flower left; the flower I do cherish, as it withers. Then, I shiver.
All I want to do in life is make a girl happy, feel like she’s loved, take care of her and spend the rest of my life with her as I treat her like she’s the most precious thing I’ve ever had.
I’ve always wanted to run away. You know, like how they do in cliché movies? Hopping on empty buses and trains with no concrete travel plan, to start a new life as a new person in a new city where no one knows one bit about me. I can be who I am, no filters, no need to fit in this mold that familiar faces have made for me. I’ve been too pushed inside a box wherein I do not fit in, plastered with labels of which I do not understand.
I am not meant to be here, I cannot and I refuse to stay. My feet are itching to wander off to places I have seen only in my dreams. My soul is eager to find peace from flickering lamp posts in unfamiliar alleyways with damp sidewalks. My eyes are yearning for the sight of the different city lights at midnight and the magnificent view of each city’s skyline at dusk.
I am not afraid to leave all that I have behind, for a new adventure, a new place. I will always be craving for the unknown wonders that I have yet to see. The unfamiliar no longer frightens me.
Darling, I am sorry, but I am not one to ‘settle down’.
Neat and even - late nights with books to the nose, glasses folded away, perfectionism, carefully ironed clothes, more stationary than sense, polished shoes, huge home library filled with things they plan to read but never will
Messy and rushed - cramming all night, piled up coffee cups and crushed energy drink cans, a sense of importance, impulsive decisions paired with lazy laughter, a walking contradiction, always up to talk when needed
Loopy and cute - pen pal letters painstakingly decorated, heart dotted i’s, studio ghibli movies, bullet journal, pastel outfits perfectly matched, cute when sleepy, really good at calligraphy, always singing under mumbles
Indecipherable - rubbed eyes and chipped nails, assignments handed in with seconds to spare, master of procrastination, unmade sheets, the kind of person who puts ‘nrs’ on their snapchat story but reply immediately
Thunder- leather jackets, lightboxes, crystals, red lipstick and smiles, could kill you, Polaroid cameras, amazing singer, parks at night
Snow -ridiculously cute, like seriously, round glasses, scarves and hats, doodles in corners, crystals, really quiet, libraries, empty places
Rain- either moody or really calm, there is no in between, winged eyeliner, loud music, poetry, such a drama queen, gives the best dirty looks, empathetic
Nipples - absolute psycho, like are you ok, why did I think it wouldn’t hurt oml, bitten lips and flirty eyes, scrolling through tumblr at 2am, kinky little shit, decisions based on spite
Conch - Pinterest queen,wants to be unique, shouldn’t have gotten it done with a hoop and regrets it daily,this is a personal attack, says the weirdest things in the middle of conversation
Nostril - likes trying new things, is constantly afraid of being judged, has a better Instagram feed than you, matching jewellery, lip gloss and curled hair, owns too many pairs of shoes
Helix - a basic bitch, which is an absolute vibe don’t let misogyny fool ya, the Starbucks Stan, ugg boots and motivational quotes, really nice when you get to know them, dream catchers
Heaven - lie ins, satisfied smiles, matching stationary, movie nights with popcorn and friends, fluffy socks, having breakfast in bed, naming houseplants, big comfy jumpers, the smell of freshly baked cookies, skincare routines, bullet journals, the studyblr tag, stretching when you wake up, cute group chat names, pastel colours, blowing nails dry, curling your hair, FaceTiming friends for hours on end
Hell - thick eyeliner, sarcastic smirks, getting drunk with friends, safety pins, making bad decisions because you’re prepared for the consequences, ‘it was worth it’, trying not to laugh in formal situations, exploring abandoned places, acting fearless, staying up late and watching horror films in the dark, 3am, tarot cards and ouija boards, layered necklaces, sage sticks and crystals, middle fingers
Bubblegum - the most fun, works hard, naps for life, fluffy jumpers with ears on the hood, mittens, sudden bursts of energy, animal lover, pastel Instagram feed, homemade cookies
Peppermint - shy until you know them, hair tucked behind ears, gives the most thoughtful gifts, always neat, very soft spoken unless they’re defending a friend, plant mum
Grape - giggles in quiet rooms, room is fun of empty cans and crisp packets, weird taste in everything, can’t keep relationships, statement jewellery, indecisive, runs a Depop shop
Spearmint - reminds the teacher there’s homework due, constantly reading, drinks herbal teas and nothing else, minimalistic, perfect posture, habit of overthinking
Cinnamon - quirky af, Lana del ray on repeat, big curls, sunglasses perched on top of their head, caffeine addiction,wispy eyelashes, pretty handwriting, big laughs, thrives in autumn
Book sneak preview - Murmur Rumble Roar: Poems About Climate Change. Available on Amazon worldwide.
By Nikki Tajiri @nikkitajiri on Tumblr and Instagram
Hi Tumblr!
In honor of Earth Day/Month I’m going to giveaway this book for free! The giveaway (probably the last one for awhile) will be from April 21 to 25, 2021. Just hop over to Amazon and download the Kindle version.
I would love for you to post an Amazon review to tell me what you think about it. The book never really got momentum, so I would love to hear your thoughts either way.
‘wyd’? no i want a handwritten love letter on how i am the ultimate love of your life, how much you miss me and why i should drop everything i’m doing to flail into your arms
novels: “do not dictate your author. try to become him. be his fellow worker and accomplice.” what is the author feeling? what do they hope i will feel from this? what do they think they know the answers to?
poetry: poetry is a MOMENT. let your emotions and instincts rule. a good poem is like a shock of personal emotion. the purpose of a poem is to grasp and centre the reader in a mood or movement. allow yourself to get carried away by sensation.
biography: that longing we all feel when sometime in the evening you’re standing in front of a house and the windows are lit. that urge to understand another person’s life. biographies “light up innumerable such houses”. within the mundane, revel in those moments making up everyday life for this person.
references from: How Should One Read a Book - Virginia Woolfe
