Happy and healthy couples have their communication game down. They communicate the good. They vocalize their love for one another, saying “I love you” often and offering compliments to their partner. They also discuss the bad, instead of sweeping issues under the rug.
And talking about how to give a “good talk”, you need a little bit of fire. So… see my next post. There it is!
I really want to draw more Ollie and try and post more here. I don’t know how many of you guys follow me on Instagram but I am more active there. I haven’t been lately because I’ve had work to finish up, but I have way more time for art right now so please do come and say hi! I love to answers any questions and chit chat!!
I know my study work isn’t as interesting to those who follow me for my lore, wonky green environments and ludicrous OCs, but over the past year i’ve been struggling with my actual start to finish process so, SO bad because i switched devices and art software, and have fallen into a pit where I’m struggling to achieve what i really want to be doing in art, even though i (more than ever) know exactly what i wantto be making conceptually.
Because of it i’ve been working really hard to learn through self-set lessons and I spend so much time practicing, absorbing learning material and re-learning fundamental skills- namely life drawing and photo studies
I really want to post more of this stuff between the art that i make for myself, which isn’t going anywhere- you know, the wretched tall compositions and looming bookshelves, because i really enjoy having a place to concisely document it all. I’m going to tag my lesson stuff as #thingsidrewtolearn
Anyway, thats all, just a small update. Happy holidays!
Whenever you hear people speak, you hear music. Language is sound. And if you’ve ever heard a beautiful piano sonata or a violin concerto, a bad note in the middle of a stirring melody can really ruin the mood. The same goes for someone who says “uhhh, uhmmmm” before and after every sentence. These are people who are, in some sense, afraid of there being silence in the conversation.
The people who speak eloquently know the power of silence, and if forced to pause, use that silence to their advantage. Silence creates suspense, and can either be seen as “uncomfortable” or as an opportunity to make the next statement that much more poignant. There is power here, and the greatest speakers know how to use it to their advantage.
2. Eliminate uhm, uhh, etc. Replace with “Well; you see; now…”
Going off the above, people tend to stutter and fill silence when they are nervous, uncomfortable, don’t know what they’re talking about, etc. We all learned this in middle school. The fastest way to make your teacher believe you didn’t do the work was to stand there with your hands in your pockets saying “Uhhh….”
Whether or not you actually are nervous or if you have no idea what you’re talking about is besides the point. It’s what your audience BELIEVES that matters, and these things can be easily concealed with words like “Well; you see; now…”. Instead of saying “Uhm, I was thinking…” you say, “Well, I was thinking…” Very different sounding, yes? These little words, especially “Now” is a filler word that can help you extend silence if you need time to think. Take a moment to pause, say “Now…” pause again, and then move on with what you were going to say. That’s 2 whole seconds you get to formulate your next thoughts.
3. Jargon Isn’t Impressive
The best talkers leave the jargon at home. Want to know the difference between a new salesman and a seasoned salesman? The new salesman leaves you confused, the seasoned salesman makes you feel like you are more educated than you think.
Jargon is pointless. It’s meant for people at your office, people you work with, to get more done faster. It’s not intended to be flashed around to make people feel impressed. It usually doesn’t impress them. It just makes them confused and feel left out of what the conversation really should be about, which is how to provide value, or an emotional component that is easier to relate to. Think more poetry, less endless prose.
4. Eliminate Curses
The sophisticated don’t use words like fuck, shit, ass, bitch, etc. They just don’t. I myself have a sailer’s mouth, but I also know there’s a time and place for it. The fastest way to earning the trust and respect of those around you is to speak well, and that means eliminating the “gutter” words.
5. Be Descriptive and To The Point
Somewhat in line with jargon usage, get to the point and don’t talk around it. There’s no point. Nobody wants to sit through your stream of consciousness. Say what you mean to say in the least amount of words, and then when you get to the meat of what you’re saying, describe it in such detail that the person you’re talking to can envision it with perfect clarity.
Details are everything. They’re what wet our senses and are ultimately what draw us in. It’s the reason why some people are terrific storytellers and others put you to sleep. This is not to be confused with saying “a lot.” It’s not about length. It’s about saying what you mean to say, and saying it well.
[online source]
the power of speech has really been on my mind lately. so this is one of several pieces on communication that that ive come across & i’m hoping to find many more of. please join the conversation by sharing any tips you may posses!
- 9 poses - solo and couple reactions [upset / sad / stressed] - you will need leftversion of this phone + hatandring versions of pregnancy test. - custom thumbnail - poses were made with custom rigs so clipping may happen
just saw someone say “girl just put in some extra effort, it’s not that hard” about how taylor’s doing the rerecordings……. I swear some swifties literally don’t even like her
I just saw this image in an ad and idk why but it gives me major happy-summer-childhood vibes, when everything seemed so vibrant and colorful and warm! Do you ever stumble across an image that gives you happy childhood vibes or nostalgia?
I used to have an ED blog full of all my thinspo, I haven’t been in that mindset for a few years now and I’ve mostly unfollowed all the active thinspo blogs I used to have. Every so often one pops back up though, and what makes me sad is that it was a quite account getting active again. I always wonder, how long were you in recovery for, what brought you back here again? It’s a surreal moment, someone out there is slipping, but I have to just unfollow, because if I try to pull them out of the rabbit hole, I’ll fall in myself again. I hope you get better, to all the accounts who haven’t posted in years and suddenly make a hip bones board or post pictures of ribbons tied delicately about waists. I hope it’s brief, I hope you are OK. Don’t take my unfollowing as rejection, it’s just self preservation.
Do you think all the smug fuckers who were online talking about how they totally knew Misha Collins was bi because of the way he acts or some shit will learn anything from this? I mean I guess not since they’re already joking about how he’s the only man who seems so gay that he needs to come out as straight haha
Maybe just stop thinking about queer people like that. “There’s no way that man is straight” oh why? Please explain what defines his sexuality for you
My future boyfriends are gonna get whiplash because one day I will smother you with texts and calls and affection and the next I won’t even want to think about talking to you.
I have a speech disorder called cluttering. I was diagnosed with it in college by a speech pathologist that my supervisor recommended for me. Basically cluttering is a speech disorder that causes your brain to struggle to process too much information at the same time and when you speak, your speech has a difficult time keeping up with your thoughts causing you to speak too rapidly and sometimes, wind up tripping over your own words. It’s often confused with stuttering.
What having a cluttering disorder is like (or at least for me):
- When I speak, I have a very difficult time controlling the rate of my speech. I speak waaay too fast sometimes 90% of the time people can’t understand what I’m saying. So I often have to repeat myself several times.
-I dread public speaking and speaking to people so badly that I often try to avoid having to speak to people in general unless I really have to. It also doesn’t help that I’m introverted. So I’m usually very quiet unless I’m around people who I feel comfortable being around or if I’m really happy. This is pretty bad because I started teaching an after-school illustration class to middle-school students this year and I always worry that the kids aren’t going to be able to understand me and they’ve already noticed that I speak very fast and they ask me about it. But I have a really hard time speaking the words “I have a speech disorder” so I don’t usually tell them about it. Which leads to my next point…
-There are so many words that I can’t say properly without tripping over my words. Like for example, here’s a list of some words and phrases that I have trouble saying:
1) What does it look like?
2) Particular
3) Participate
4) Specific and other words that start with “sp”
5) Comfortable
6) Sometimes (when saying it at the end of a sentence)
7) Say that again
-Since I have so many things running through my mind at once, I often struggle with multitasking when I’m dealing with people. I have no problem writing, listening to a YouTube video and watching TV at the same time and being able to pay attention to everything I’m doing but if I have to perform a task while speaking to someone, my brain starts short-circuiting. I can’t comprehend what they are saying. I’ve noticed this for a while but just recalled while my girlfriend was speaking to me as I was writing this.
-Whenever I speak, I wind up having to correct myself mid-sentence because I know that what I’m saying doesn’t sound right or that the person that I’m speaking to isn’t going to be able to understand me.
-Whenever I’m angry or upset, my speech is at its worst. My speech becomes incoherent, I jumble my words too much and I have to wait until I calm down before I speak.
-I say “um” way too much when I speak because I am trying to catch myself before my speech falters and to give myself time to process my thoughts before I speak.
-I often slur my words together and when I hear what I say after I’ve said it, more than half the time, I ask myself “what the hell did I just say??”
-I have a problem breathing when I speak sometimes because speaking is physically and mentally draining for me. It’s really embarrassing because I’ll be trying to say one sentence and I can’t get out what I’m trying to say because I have to take a deep breath.
-I constantly dread going to my teaching job on Thursdays and Fridays because I have to get up in front of a group of kids, present a lesson, speak to them about their work, ask them questions and explain other things to them. I also have to communicate with my supervisors in person which is something I don’t do at my other job. We mainly communicate through email because my worksite is separate from the main site. But with my 2nd job, if I have to speak to my supervisors, I mostly have to speak to them in person.
-Ihate speaking on the phone. The only people I feel comfortable speaking to on the phone are my mom, girlfriend and a few close friends. And this is terrible because I’ve missed networking events and opportunities to collaborate with people and have gallery shows because I was too afraid to call people.
-Working retail was a nightmare because it involved so much speaking and communicating with people. I always volunteered to work on the register (even though I hated cashiering) so that I could avoid being on the sales floor longer than I needed to and have to help customers. Dealing with one person at a time at the register was a lot easier than dealing a million people coming up to me at once all asking for help. Since then, I’ve avoiding applying for retail/customer service related jobs like the plague.
-I’m constantly angry and frustrated because I know that my speech disorder limits me from doing a lot of things like have a conversation with a person I’ve never met, public speaking and expressing my thoughts. It makes me feel as though I can’t function as a human being.
I don’t know how common this speech disorder is now. I’ve seen some videos on YouTube and it made me feel a little better knowing that there are other people out there who have my speech disorder and that I’m not alone. So please, reblog this if you have a speech disorder and can relate. Also, below are videos of myself speaking about my disorder.
