#that ocd feel

I pretend I’m happy so that you don’t have to deal with me but it just makes it 10x harder for me to deal with myself.

I’m laughing but I’m close to crying. I’m smiling but inside I’m dying. I’m a walking lie.

We feel like shit 24/7 but we hide it so you don’t feel sad.

We struggle to keep ourselves safe 24/7 but we hide it so you don’t have to deal with us.

We dream of being dead 24/7 but we hide it so that you think we’re okay.

We hide everything so not to hurt you, when maybe, just maybe, if you treated us better we wouldn’t feel like this.

I honestly just want to get better this time but that’s so hard when you still contantly have suicide in the back of your mind