can someone be my buddy, just someone i can talk to about anything going on

i’m back and definetly not doing better than ever

last few days have been on my period and been having a hard few days

i wish i can go back and to tell myself to stop eating.

day 4: felt so drained today, woke up at 6 cause i had a class at 8 and then my first meal was at 1 and testerday i had dinner around 8pm, so that means i technically did a 17 hour fast¿?¿

wow i didn’t know it was that long until now and ngl i feel pretty great about that. haven’t done a fast in ages, let alone one that lasted that long

oh ya and today was the first time that i had a single-serve meal and i was full after it!! like full to the point that when i was asked if i wanted seconds i said no right away!! like usually i would say yes, then realize taht i shouldn’t and then decline later. but today’s reaction was so quick i felt so good!!!

so today was a very good day

not sure if this will help anyone, but a small little trick that i use to help me go to sleep faster when i’m hungry: i drink so much water til the point that my stomach hurts and then i fall asleep faster cause u sleep faster on a full stomach.

idrk is that made any sense but ya

Far finta che vada tutto bene è la cosa che mi viene meglio.

-Eliana

(Ituoiocchisonoimiei)

Chipotle

I work at Chipotle, and I get free meal every day. To be honest, it’s a very exhausting and physical job. I need to eat at least something, or I’ll literally faint while working. What should I get in my bowl to keep it low cal? I can put as little in as I want but I need to have at least something. Probably definitely avoid rice, right? Is black or pinto beans less calories or maybe just no beans? For meat I get a half of scoop of sofrita (tofu), or just a half a scoop of avocado. Please help

I WILL reach my next goal weight in a timely manner

I pretend I’m happy so that you don’t have to deal with me but it just makes it 10x harder for me to deal with myself.

I’m laughing but I’m close to crying. I’m smiling but inside I’m dying. I’m a walking lie.

I honestly just want to get better this time but that’s so hard when you still contantly have suicide in the back of your mind