#the vampire diaries incorrect quotes
Y/n: For this mission, I wore the perfect disguise to make sure I was never noticed by anyone. Something so drab and uninspiring-
Elena: I feel this is going to be a dig at me
Y/n: I wore Elena’s clothes
Elena: There it is
Katherine, walking into a room: Hi Y/n!
Caroline: Do you just not see the other ten people in the room or-
Stefan: Where’s Y/n?
Katherine: Doing stuff.
Stefan: Don’t like the sound of that, where’s Elena?
Katherine: Stopping Y/n from doing stuff.
Stefan: Kai?
Katherine: Stopping Elena, so Y/n can do the stuff.
Stefan: And you?
Katherine: Distracting you, so Y/n can do the stuff.
Kai: So, who’s in charge here?
Elena: Either Y/n or Damon, whichever shouts the loudest.
Bonnie: It seems like you get really upset when Y/n is linked to other guys
Katherine:No
Bonnie:No?
Katherine:No. I just wanna kill them
Stefan: so Y/n, we know that you are having problems in your life right now.
Elena: yeah, how big your problems?
Y/n: *looks at Damon* Damon, how tall are you?
Damon:what?
Elena & Stefan:what?
Elena: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Y/n:It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Elena: The three of them saw it, Y/n. How do you explain that?
Y/n: *points at Damon* Sleep deprivation. *points at Katherine* Paranoia.*points at Kai* Delusional personality disorder.
Kai: Y/n, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say and Damon says I should just talk to you.
Y/n: Talk to me about what?
Kai: About this. *kisses Y/n*
Y/n: … Keep talking.
Bonnie: A guardian angel is like, this friend who follows you around and makes sure you don’t get into trouble and loves you with all their heart.
Y/n: Oh, so like you.
Bonnie, tearing up:
Y/n: You know, it’s at times like this where I wish I had listened to what Damon told me
Stefan: What did he tell you?
Y/n: I don’t know, I wasn’t listening
Katherine: What would you do if I got kidnapped ?
Y/n: Wait like an hour, they’ll bring you back once they’ve had enough.
Katherine: That’s it? You won’t beat them up?
Y/n: Haven’t they been punished enough?
Katherine: What if they hurt me ?
Y/n: Oh, in that case they won’t live to see the next day
Katherine: A little better, thanks
Caroline: You two have a weird relationship
Kai: my hands are cold…
Y/n: let me warm them up for you *holds hand*
Kai:…
Kai: you know what…suddenly my lips are extremely cold!
Stefan: Y/n, come here. It’s time to open your Christmas Present.
Y/n:*appears wearing nothing but a bow*
Stefan: On second thought, maybe I should open my gift first…
Y/n: *trying to wake up Katherine* Don’t make me get the water bucket.
Katherine:You wouldn’t.
Elena: *walking past dripping wet* Yes, she would.
Y/n: You remind me of someone I once dated
Kol: Were they smart, funny, and drop-dead gorgeous?
Y/n: More like obnoxious, annoying, and a pure dumbass.
Damon*from across the room*: HEY! WE’RE STILL DATING WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN THE PAST TENSE
Y/n: That’s the part you chose to focus on???
Y/n: Katherine, last night you got drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire.
Katherine: No I didn’t-
Y/n: I specifically remember you saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt!”
Bonnie: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Kai: Certainly, I’m as sure as I am honest!
Y/n:In that case, we're definitely lost.
Y/n: Alright. Can we just have a calm conversation like a normal people??
Caroline: Fine.. You go first.
Y/n: Okay, first of all, WHAT THE FUC-
*Rebekah and Mc skipping stones on lake*
Y/n: It’s such a beautiful evening. Almost as beautiful as you
Rebekah, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
Y/n: If there’s going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Elena: Of course. I can’t flip this table by myself.
Judge: How do you plead?
Kai:[looks at Y/n]
Y/n:[mouths “not guilty”]
Kai:Hot milky.
Y/n: [slams her head on the table] For Saint’s sake just lock him up
Stefan to Kai: If you were a flower, which one would you be?
Y/n about Kai: A cactus.
Stefan: I’m not sure that’s a—
Y/n: It’s green, it’s beautiful, and it stabs people.
Stefan:…
Kai:(blushes)
Damon : You’re so short, what can you even see down there?
Y/n: Your IQ.
Y/n: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Y/n: Katherine is still mad about it, but me and Elena were drunk and thought it was funny.
Y/n, pointing: May I sit there?
Katherine: That’s my lap.
Y/n: That doesn’t answer my question, Kath.
Bonnie: But why would they want to kidnap Kai?!
Y/n: Certainly not because they’ve met him, if they had they’d have given him back by now.
Bonnie: You’re supposed to be worried about them, you’re his girlfriend!
Y/n: But i am wrong?
Y/N: *Screeching*
Damon: Why the hell are you screeching?!
Y/N: Because I lost Elijah.
Damon: Again, why the screeching?
Y/N:Watch*starts screeching again*
Elijah: *Appears out of nowhere* What’s wrong? Are you ok? Are you hurt?
Y/N: Found him!
