So, this exists, but is postponed right now. I’m using a character to vent some things that happened to me. If one more fucking person blames the victim of abuse, I might actually beat the shit out of that motherfucker.
I don’t care wh as t the person who was abused said to you, I don’t care what you took as provocative, they didn’t fucking hurt you until you hurt them, so stop saying it’s their fault.
Raceland mother says daughter’s murder could have been prevented
Posted: May 11, 2015 / 08:06 AM
Two-year-old Ariel Mathieu of Houston, Texas now lives with her grandmother in Raceland, Louisiana. She recently lost her father and mother.“[Whenever she sees a photo of her mother] She whines. Takita was very close to her baby and her whole world,” said Bernadette Mathieu, Takita Mathieu’s mother. Ariel’s mother, 26-year-old Takita Mathieu grew up in Raceland. The popular cheerleader and track athlete at Central Lafourche High never had a shortage of friends.
Her funeral at the Morning Star Baptist Church in Houma (where Takita was born) was standing room only. Friends, family and neighbors filled the pews, remembering this young mother.Takita moved to Houston in 2006. She met Marcus Crocker and they dated for several years. Over time, he became increasingly possessive.
“Like all her friends and family would be around, he would try to keep her from them,” said Bernadette Mathieu.Takita filed at least 7 complaints about Crocker with Houston police before he killed her.In 2009, she filled out a victim questionnaire, writing”:
“I am afraid for my life. He has told me that I should leave Texas because he would [expletive] me up, or he would pay someone to do it. He told me that my truck isn’t safe and I am not either…He’s texting me non-stop. I am afraid to go home. He’s going to get me.”
She also wrote: “He sits and drives past my house and follows me on the freeway.”
“He broke a window on my truck and kicked my door in.”“He took an electric saw and cut my door to enter.”
Takita ended the relationship at the end of November, but her family says Marcus would not leave her alone, constantly calling, snap chatting and texting threats. Then he started calling Takita’s family, at one point, leaving her mother, Bernadette, a cryptic message:
“I’m like I’m not understanding this message? And he was like, ‘I just want you to keep the baby for a couple weeks and I just want you to be with your grandchild. And love her for me too,‘” said Bernadette Mathieu.
In January, Takita reached out to Houston police, complaining about at least 40 harassing texts from Marcus. She went to the police again in February, telling them Marcus called her more than a hundred times. Her sister was with her that day. She says Takita told police she was afraid for her life and needed a protection order immediately. They said they would get back to her in two to three days.
“My daughter told me when they left out of the police department, it was like they didn’t even give a damn. They were like well, you have the papers. Takita asked them, ‘What can I do? Can you just pick him up, can you just arrest him?’ He told her ‘no, he had to do something to her.’ Two hours later he killed her,” said Bernadette Mathieu.
Just hours after leaving the police department, Marcus showed up to Takita’s work. He shot her in the head. Then shot himself.“I mean he broke her down mentally, she should have left Marcus a long time ago, because I thought he was a monster, but then you know — I didn’t want to push her away,” said Bernadette Mathieu.Now she wishes she had pushed harder.“Please protect yourselves and if there’s anything that you feel is not right in a relationship, get some help. Tell somebody and stay on it. Be careful. My child didn’t have to leave like this,” said Bernadette Mathieu.
We reached out to Houston Police. They told us they tried to follow up on some of these reports, but had trouble getting a hold of Takita. Also, Marcus never actually laid a hand on Takita. This made it hard to move ahead with charges. We spoke with Jefferson Parish Sheriff, Newell Normand. He admitted to us that these cases can be difficult for police:
“I mean, if I wake up tomorrow and I decide I want to take out my significant other, I don’t know that there’s going to be any legislation or protocol or strategy or any of that that’s going to move me or one way or the other. And there’s no reliable predictor tool to determine whether or not that individual has the makeup psychologically to carry out those threats – you never know,” said Sheriff Normand.
Sheriff Normand encourages women to reach out to police, but also to a battered women shelter if you feel like you’re in danger. He also said, cut off communication and change your habits so this person can’t track you down.
Takita’s mother spoke with us because she wants women out there to know, it doesn’t matter if it’s verbal, physical or through technology – Abuse is abuse and you need to get help. Do not wait. She doesn’t want anyone to suffer like Takita did.
11 or 12 year old girl: Wears short shorts = “she’s fast”, “she’s being sexually inappropriate.
11 or 12 year old boy: Watches internet porn, peeps through women’s windows to try and see them undress, walks in on girls to try and see them undressed, inappropriately touches girls in his class = “He’s just being curious.”
I’m just not feeling well. I was thinking about you last night. I miss you so much I can’t begin to explain it. I want you so bad and yet on the other hand I’m scared for you to touch me.
It feels like my body is on fire and I can’t put it out. I can’t get the taste od his penis out of my mouth, his seed he made me swallow. My throat will always feel raw and sore.
My body feels so disgusting right now. I can’t be touched. I’m too dirty for you to see me this way. I just want to feel whole again. I feel so impure and bad. It feels like its my fault.
I don’t know what I did to be hurt like this. I’m sorry though. Whatever I did to cause this I’m sorry and ill never do it again. But its my fault right? I went out with an older man, he was my boyfriend, I kissed him, I let him touch me. But its my fault right? Because men have no control over their hormones right? And me being the woman I should take responsibility for my own actions right? I shouldn’t have had 1 cup of hypnotic with a friend because everyone knows that when you are a woman and you have a drink with a man, he’s not responsible for not raping you. You’re the one responsible for stopping the rape. You’re in charge of making him stop and if he doesn’t its your fault. If you don’t hit him hard enough or don’t fight back and leave bruises then its not real rape. I was responsible for screaming really loud and collecting my own evidence for a crime I committed on myself because you know women its our fault when we are raped.
How am I supposed to prove it. Have a video camera follow me around so when I put myself in a position to be raped its on camera? Or do I have to have people in the house at the time so be witnesses? What do I need to do to prove to you I was raped so they can go to jail? I did a rape kit, I went to the police and sat there for hours while the cop called me selfish because I didn’t give my rapist oral sex. How much more scars do I have to show to put him behind bars?
Are my constant, daily flashbacks and panic attacks not proof enough for you? How about the body memories? The jumping when someone touches me, my heart racing during sex because I can’t physically say no or stop. I screamed both at the top of my lungs when they raped me and it meant nothing. I can’t say either words when I’m being intimate I have flashbacks.
If you’re going to put me on trial now would be a perfect time. You can ask me how many times I cut myself to stop the pain. Ask me how many nights I’ve stayed up because I was too scared to sleep. Ask me how often I go out to have fun because I stopped going out. Ask me what my life is like now. Leaving my house scares the hell out of me because they are free on the streets but I’m the one serving the fucking life sentence. Ask me how many relationships and marriages have been ruined because SOME men just don’t fucking get it.
I want you to put me on trial, hook me up to a lie detector test and ask me of it hurts. It kills me to hear stories from my friends about going on dates with women and then getting mad because she didn’t have sex with them. As if taking me out to dinner and movies makes me obligated to have sex with you. And that makes me think. Is that why I was raped? Because I wouldn’t put out? Because some piece of shit excise for a man was mad that I didn’t sleep with him so he took it?
Please I’m begging you to put me on trial against every single fucking man who’s raped me. Hook me up to the lie detector machine and ask me how much of my life they took from me.
The “don’t rape” series. Rape is never an option. If they don’t ask for consent, then you back off. You are never entitled to sex with another human being.
actually, the language distinction is very important. the word ‘pedophile’ has taken on a very negative connotation and almost become synonymous with ‘child sexual abuser’. MAP is the term that is used in professional prevention spaces that work with folks who have pedophilic disorder. this is done because if MAPs are constantly told that they are doomed to offend, that they are a disgrace to humanity, and that they need to kill themselves, they are less likely to seek help, and therefore more likely to offend.
Damn. I wonder why those words have become synonymous. Wouldn’t it be crazy if there was a correlation between the two?
pedo supporters are truly wild.
I love that you peppered some victim blaming in there, and made it sound like victims of child sexual abuse who vent about their abusers actually go and harass innocent people that happen to struggle with mental health but who haven’t offended. Even if that was the case, putting the responsibility on anyone but the offender is absolutely ridiculous and shouldn’t be an argument used in order to guilt trip people into being supportive.
You shouldn’t be nice to people out of fear that they could harm someone. That kind of rethoric is not only victim blaming, but it’s also framing mentall ill people as dangerous & predatory time ticking bombs that will harm children if made upset, which is super harmful to everyone who struggles with mental health issues.
Lastly, this post was written in a specific context. Back when I wrote this post, pedophiles were allowed on tumblr and the MAP community on tumblr specifically had a very prevalent entitled, predatory & anti-recovery mindset. A lot of CSA survivors had “pedophiles” in their DNI, because of the amount of predator who posted NSFW things in relation to children on the website, which led pedophiles to overstep these boundaries with the excuse that they weren’t “pedophiles” but “MAP” which aren’t even mutually exclusive terms considering “MAP” is an umbrella term. The use of “MAP”, specifically in the tumblr community wasn’t used to destigmatize any mental health issue, but to use semantics to bypass CSA victims’ boundaries and for predators to distance themselves from their actions. Similarly to Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist changing their label to “Gender Critical” once TERF became an obvious dogwhistle.
Removing this years old post out of it’s original context and framing this issue as just people wanting to go tell innocent people to kill themselves is insidious and reeks of bad faith.
You’re not entitled to the cake. Even if there’s Tahitian vanilla icing and pretty little flowers.
When you stop to think about, the language people use to “justify” sexual assault is pretty illogical. #ItsOnUs to create a culture of respect → www.itsonus.org/pledge #CakeTease #VictimBlaming
[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A SMALL DUCKLING FACES FORWARD, MOUTH OPEN AS IF YELLING. TEXT READS, “STOP VICTIM BLAMING!”]
APRIL IS SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS MONTH. IT IS NOT LIMITED TO APRIL NOR THE UNITED STATES. CREATING A CULTURE THAT SUPPORTS A SURVIVOR SHOULD HAPPEN EACH AND EVERY MONTH ALL ACROSS THE GLOBE.
“Girls develop more quickly than boys” is an egregious, bald-faced lie the culture promotes in order to victim-blame girls who are victims of rape, and to absolve young men who rape girls and women. Yes, women older than them. Yes, their teachers. It takes two to tango and none of the culture’s pseudoscientific drivel regarding disparities in pubescent development between girls and boys will ever change that.
“Girls develop more quickly than boys” is an egregious, bald-faced lie the culture promotes in order to victim-blame girls who are victims of rape, and to absolve young men who rape girls and women. Yes, women older than them. Yes, their teachers. It takes two to tango and none of the culture’s pseudoscientific drivel regarding disparities in pubescent development between girls and boys will ever change that.
People talk a lot about creepy middle-aged men looking for younger girls to date, but I’ve seen a LOT of the same creepy attitudes toward high schoolers in men in their mid-to-late-20s.
First tweet from @ kachowgirl on twitter:
40% of teen pregnancies in 15 y/o girls involve a fathering man who is 20-29. It is never lost on me that the conversations surrounding teen pregnancy are always about the promiscuity of teenage girls and not the violence of older men
Second tweet from @ kachowgirl on twitter:
For mothers in high school, the average father is over 4 years older. For mothers in junior high, the average father is over 6 years older. It is the preying of young girls that creates this issue. How often do we punish girls for their own victimization?
asdkjjj [unpleasant post] so i was internet searching for “jon snow torture“ to see if there was any interesting talk (inre: ice cells & punishment & attitudes also like in light of that stannis post etc) and obviously the search results then spew out these lovely gems instead
(all of these are different people btw like some of them are “yes he would have been able to break jon but obviously that would have been MUUUUUUUUCHHHH harder than with theon” and some are “no not jon” but all of them even the ones about how torture is torture can’t help but add that of course jon would’ve handled it better tho)
(I am the business manager for a small music store. I am a young female in my early twenties. I am in charge of finances, hiring and firing, marketing, etc., along with being the second in command after the owner. It is a small company, so I know everyone in the store and sometimes work the retail portion during particularly busy days. We’re also a pretty close workplace, so it is not uncommon for us to hang out after work to grab drinks. One day, the general manager, the person below me in the chain of command and in charge of overseeing retail employees, comes to my office with an unusual situation.)
General Manager: “Could I talk to you about an issue I’m having?”
Me: “Of course; I’m happy to help.”
General Manager: “[Employee] came into work today wearing a slightly inappropriate outfit, and I’m not quite sure how to address it. I’m worried that me, a man in my mid-forties, trying to have a conversation about appropriate work attire with a 22-year-old female will come off as creepy and rude.”
Me: “I understand completely. Why don’t I go up to the register and check it out, and if I find what she’s wearing to be inappropriate for the workplace, I’ll have a conversation with her about it?”
General Manager: “Thank you. I thought it might be better coming from you, especially since you two go out for drinks together often.”
(I finish what I am working on and then go to the front of the store to check out the situation. As I am relatively good friends with this employee, I don’t expect her to wear anything truly inappropriate, and never by intention, so what I find is quite shocking. She literally looks like she is about to go to Coachella; she’s wearing a woven crop top that only covers a small portion of her chest and leaves nothing to the imagination, a bright, neon yellow bra underneath, and a pair of very short shorts. It’s more than a little too risqué for our work environment.)
Me: “Hey, [Employee], can I talk to you for a moment?”
Employee: “Yeah, sure!”
Me: “I want to start off with saying you are not in trouble.”
Employee: “Is everything okay? I’m not being fired, am I?”
Me: “No! Of course not! I just want to talk to you for a moment about what you’re wearing.”
Employee: “Isn’t it cute? I just got it the other day!”
Me: “It’s very cute, but it’s not appropriate for the workplace. Now, I’m not going to send you home today, but I need you to assure me you won’t dress like this again.”
Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we had a laid-back dress code here.”
Me: “We do, but that means jeans and a T-shirt are the most casual things you can dress in. We still need to maintain professionalism here. Also, we have music students of all ages coming in here, not to mention that you and I both know how inappropriate some of the male customers can be already. Bottom line, you’re not in trouble; I’m just going to need for you to agree to have your midriff and cleavage covered in the future. You’ve always followed the dress code up until today, so I don’t think it should be a problem.”
Employee: “Oh, okay. I’m so sorry. I just need to do laundry tonight and I wasn’t thinking about it and I didn’t think it would be a problem since we have a casual dress code. I guess I didn’t think about it. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. But out of curiosity, why are you the one telling me this? Isn’t it usually [General Manager]’s job to deal with little things like this?”
Me: “Normally, it is, but he felt a little uncomfortable trying to talk to a woman fifteen years his junior about what’s appropriate for her to wear, so I agreed to check it out and talk with you if I agreed with his initial thoughts.”
Employee: “Okay, that makes sense.” *laughs* “Yeah, that definitely would have felt a little creepy.”
Me: “Yeah, I’ve known him long enough to know he wouldn’t have meant anything by it, but you have only been here a few months, so we didn’t want to make it weird.”
(The rest of the quick conversation is uneventful; we happily discuss getting drinks the next day after work, and then we both go back to our respective tasks. Later that night, I’m scrolling through Facebook and see a post from the employee from earlier.)
Employee’s Post: “I’m so fed up with how working conditions are these days! Like, my creepy old male employer had the nerve to try to tell me how to dress today, and then tried to imply that if I dress in a way that he finds inappropriate that I’d be inviting men to harass me, which would then be my fault for my attire. I’m so tired of slut-shaming in today’s society and how we victim-blame. It’s disgusting and wrong. I should be able to dress however I want without being judged or having to worry I’ll be assaulted.”
(She has my store as her employment in her bio, so I’m immediately worried by the false implications she’s throwing against my store. I’m reading through the comments and I see a lot of outrage and people agreeing with her. Being her friend — and boss — I decide to comment myself:)
My Comment: “[Employee], I’m terribly sorry that the conversation you had with me, your 23-year-old female employer, went so negatively in your mind today. I was under the impression it had gone well since you and I agreed to get cocktails tomorrow night. I also know that your older male GM had to leave right before our conversation today, since he had to pick his son up from school. So, if you could just privately message me which employee had this conversation with you, I’d be happy to follow up on it, because what you described is not behavior we condone at [Store].
I agree with you that no woman should ever have to worry that what she wears could open men up to believing she is deserving of assault. I agree that society is not painting assault victims in a pretty color at the moment and that there needs to be a change in our society. However, we at [Store] do not condone slut-shaming, victim-shaming, or strict dress codes. We always stand up for our employees’ desire to express themselves through their unique attire, so long as it is workplace appropriate. Unfortunately, I have to say that your macrame crop top and neon yellow bra combination just didn’t feel workplace appropriate for our store. We did not send you home to change, we did not write you up for an infraction, and we did not in any way bully, shame, or punish you for your choice of outfit today. I simply asked that you not repeat this outfit or anything similarly revealing.
I also wanted to remind you that last week when a customer got particularly brazen and started to cross the line with you, we had GM escort the man outside and wait with him until the police arrived, as we had every intention of having him arrested for harassment for how he acted and the things he said to you. We have always taken our employee’s sides when it comes to harassment and will never condone that kind of inappropriate behavior. I’m terribly sorry if you were given the wrong impression today during our conversation. Please reach out to me at your earliest convenience so we can discuss anything further.”
(When I woke up the next morning I had 15+ notifications from Facebook. When I checked, it was people either liking or commenting on my response. By the time I went in to work that morning, she had pulled down the post as the comments had all shifted from her side to mine. She avoided me for her entire shift that day and we did not go out for drinks after work, either. She later apologized and we remained friendly during her time working for my store.
It wasn’t until a few months later that she had to be fired for starting an affair with a married coworker — not the general manager! — trying to steal music students to teach privately, and for baiting customers into having heated arguments with her so that it would look like the customer was verbally attacking her and the general manager would escort them out. All of this happened during her final week, so I guess she wanted to go out with an eventful bang of a week.)
The final paragraph is definitely my favorite part of this plothole-ridden story. “Psst, I’m giving music lessons if you’re interested. What instrument? The sad trombone. It is too a real instrument, you misogynist pig! Security!” *customer is immediately escorted out*
My partner was talking about the presentation he had in school about military rape. My sister made a comment that “if they’re in the military they should know how to protect themselves better. They have guns and training and stuff. They should fight harder so they don’t get raped.”
Isn’t that a prime example of rape culture? Victim blaming? Pure ignorance and dumbassery?
She tried to tell me she didn’t mean to say it was their fault for getting raped, but that is exactly what it sounds like.
Well, that theUniversity of Strathclyde believes that:
1. …. Jennifer Lawrence was responsible for having her phone hacked.
2. …. Jennifer Lawrence was responsible for the hacker spreading her nude pictures on the internet.
3. …. it was funny that Jennifer Lawrence had private pictures of her naked body shared on the internet against her will.
3. … having a strong password will protect you from becoming a victim of a sexual offense.
Unfortunately, the idea that the reponsibility of a sex crime lies on the victim has become normalised to the extent that we feel free to joke about it in any context. And then make our joke into a poster.
The university has decided to remove all the posters after receiving complaints from students.
Last month a presentation entitled Haven – Understanding Sexual Assault, led by Cory Rosenkranz, coordinator of Substance Abuse & Violence PreventionatRampao CollegeinNew Jersey caused a lot of controversy.
Why?
Because during her hour-long presentation Rosenkranz told the students that women need to be self-aware of actions that could invite sexual assault. Those included:
- how they dress
- how they interact with other people
-how much they drink
- how their body language could be interpreted
- how their facial expressions could be interpreted
“[Cory] started the presentation by talking about preventative measures…but then it became kind of peculiar, the extent she was taking it to. She was saying that women need to watch their body language and that women should practice how they articulate their face [in a social setting] by practicing in the mirror”, said Brandon Molina, who is a returning peer facilitator.
So if women have to create an anti-rape face, does that make all other facial expressions invitations-to-rape faces? Does that then mean that rapists can be acquitted based on the fact that their victim wasn’t displaying an anti-rape expression in the first moments of contact, but just a regular facial expression?
Rosenkrantz’ talk greatly upset many of the students at Rampao College as her suggestions of how to prevent rape placed the responsibility on the targets of sexual assault, rather than the perpetrators. Instead of encouraging a debate and addressing the actual issue - perceived male entitlement to female bodies - Rosenkranz shamed rape survivors, excused rapists and didn’t recognize sexual violence as a sociocultural problem that can be solved.
The contents of this talk were greatly criticised and mocked on social media, which lead to the creation of the hashtag #MyAntiRapeFace.
A UK radio presenter at BBC Radio Norfolk who seems to believe that men are animals and that female rape victims brought sexual violence upon themselves.
While discussing the case of rapist Ched Evans, a former Sheffield United footballer, who was freed from jail last month, Conrad made the following comments:
“I think women need to be more aware of a man’s sexual desire that when you’re in that position that you are about to engage in sexual activity there’s a huge amount of energy in the male body, there’s a huge amount of will and intent and it’s very difficult for many men to say no when they are whipped up into a bit of a storm.
And it’s the old adage about if you yank a dog’s tail don’t be surprised when it bites you.
Or you can’t keep snakes in the garden and think they’ll only bite your neighbours.
One wonders if women need to be a little bit more mindful of that and the feminists who have hijacked… Hijacked maybe a bit of a strong word…jump on these arguments and appear to be quite anti-men.
They neglect that very important part of the argument even though it’s a reduced part of the argument and the onus has to be on the men and the men must be condemned if a woman says no and they persist then that’s absolutely abhorrent.
But they then (feminists) in their fury against men and masculinity they actually forget to stop and say if you tease, if you jump into bed naked with a man if you give him all the signals and then he acts upon them then you are partially responsible and of course it is a grey area and there will be cases where you wanted to go certain distance and not go any further and the man is absolutely wrong but if you are… how do I say this?
I’ve got to be so careful of what I say because I don’t want this to be explosive, I’m trying, I’m just trying to talk around it…
But what I’m trying to say is that women also have to understand that when a man’s given certain signals he’ll wish to act upon them and if you don’t wish to give out the wrong signals it’s best probably to keep your knickers on and not get into bed with him.”
So, dear Nick Conrad, feminism is needed because you’ve reached the age of 29 without knowing these simple facts:
- Men are not animals that can’t control their desires. So please don’t compare them to snakes and dogs.
- Anyway, rape isn’t about desire. It’s about violence. Rape is sexualised violence, not superduperattraction.
- There’s nothing a person can do to cause themselves to be raped. Rapists cause rape.
-No always means no. A no is not ayesor a maybe.Nomeansno. And yesmeansyes. It’s that simple. “Desire” is not going to clogg up your ears. You will know if someone wants to have sex with you and you will also know when you are raping someone.
Because fewer than one-third of US university sexual assault policies state that a survivor’s dress and past sexual history may not be discussed during disciplinary proceedings.
Read more about campus rape policies in this Students Active For Ending Rape(SAFER) infographic:
It really didn’t take a genius to work out that attacks on trans healthcare and lgbt protections in general would only be followed by attacks on reproductive rights lol
Like all the cis women who allied with the right wing to take down trans people because we are supposedly a threat to their rights are gonna have a shock when their new allies actually rollback their rights when they are done with us and its kinda happening in real time
this is literal victim blaming btw. this is how the trans women who we “owe our rights to” are reacting to this massive blow to women’s rights. by telling us that we are to blame for it.
as if the GOP hasn’t been trying to repeal Roe v Wade since 1974.
Remind me, which rule of misogyny is “Women are responsible for what men do”?
first rule of misogyny.
Op acts like they arnt pro “life” Conservative women who are actively anti feminist and also believe in banning abortion. Not everything is about you.
-75% of indigenous girls under 18 have been sexually assaulted
-indigenous women and girls are more likely to be killed by a stranger than a non-indigenous woman.
-indigenous women and girls represented approximately 10% of all female homicides in Canada. However, indigenous women make up only 3% of the female population.
-No one knows the exact amount of indigenous women and girls that go missing each year due to poor infrastructure on data gathering and underreporting.
- indigenous women are far more likely to receive abuse & the abuse they face is far more severe than non-indigenous women.
This post is a submission by an author who prefers to remain anonymous. Please respect their privacy and do not speculate about their identity.
Trigger warnings: discussion of abusive relationships, mental illness, victim blaming
I am a biromantic asexual. I suffered an incredibly abusive relationship all through out my childhood. I have been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression. For years I have been told that these things are directly related, both by mental health professionals and by those close to me. Before learning about asexuality, I really thought that my history of abuse and mental illness had cut me off from ‘normal’ sexual/romantic relationships.
It took a long time and a lot of courage to accept that was not the case, and to convince myself that these aspects of my identity are not causes and repercussions of each other.
I am an abuse survivor because I let an awful girl destroy every aspect of who I was before I knew her. She cut me off from everyone else in my life. She took away everything I loved by telling me they were worthless passions if she did not share them. She triggered my anxiety and paranoia, and she took my happiness. My abuser took everything from me, but she did not take my ability to be attracted to people. I was asexual before her, and I am still asexual now that she is gone from my life.
To all those aces who are told their mental illness or abusive past ‘broke’ them: it didn’t. Your asexuality is not a side effect of your personal history, it is an intrinsic part of it. Your sexuality was not stolen from you, it is still a part of your identity even if those around you cannot acknowledge or understand it. For years I have been told that I am broken, but that I can be fixed. I know now that even if I leave behind my mental illnesses and my history of abuse, I will still be asexual. That part of me is not broken, no matter what anyone else says.
Remember this post I made last night? And how I re-rebagled it to add what the OP, SafetyPin01, Resembool Ranger Extraordinaire had said in reaction to the Vic molestation stories posted on this blog?
“”Not saying that she is completely at fault “if” it did happen(which I doubt it did) but a lot of girls that get molested walk around like they are hot shit and the clothes they wear makes them seem like they are just asking for it.”
Here is the rest of what she said: trigger for extreme rage inducing bullshittery
Are you fucking kidding me? Victim blaming? Seriously? This jackwad doesn’t understand how to appropriately or professionally conduct himself and you’re going to blame the women involved?
She obviously has no respect for anyone but herself, as made apparent by the way she so blatantly throws out her cousin’s traumas for all the world to see.
![[Indefinite Hiatus] --- So Much Stranger, So Much Darker, So Muc](https://64.media.tumblr.com/avatar_4c9eaf2e3e1e_30.png){kind=avatar}
