#voltron shitpost
Us, naive and young: WOW Voltron is so good these writers are totally big brain enough to give us an ending that’s meaningful and progressive for the genre
VLD writers: haha dumb alien species call paper slip “blazzle hooch”
a concept
keith in middle school, churning out those videos with block coloured backgrounds and size 12 comic sans and poor editing that give helpful tips such as;
how to get a boyfriend in middle school
how to get your crush to like you
and so forth. they’re all unironic. lance watched them all. neither had any idea until shiro got pidge to uncover them and now they’re blackmail material
Shiro: I need some paladin drama, stat.
Hunk: I don’t think we’re that dramatic..
Shiro: I’ve been gone one week - Keith and Lance are dating, and they’ve killed a person.
kuron dont interact
guys listen to my theory
okay so everyone knows at this point that keith loves hippos its been fully accepted as canon but everyone also knows that keith lived in texas and theoretically would never have seen a hippo.
my theory is that keith kogane that mad lad heard the name “hippopotamus” and was like. damn. thats a fucking badass name. thats gonna be my favourite animal.
lance shows him a photo and he throws up in his mouth but he cant back down so. he keeps saying he loves hippos it pains him inside he just thought the name sounded cool. father why didnt u show me a hippo why are we texan yeehaw
-mod shiro its 1am peace
in the infamous voltron paladin handbook lion quiz - what lion would you pilot - it says mostly As would mean you piloted the black lion, aka these are character traits of shiro.
one of the questions is what would you bring on an unknown mission. shiro said map. shiro honey I love you with all of my heart but how will a map help on an unknown mission please think your answers through more thoroughly.
another question was what would you buy at a space mall. shiro said something for his backpack? (like socks, what a dad)
so a map. and a backpack.
so what im saying here isn’t that shiro is dora the explorer but shiro is totally dora the explorer okay bye
Petition to rename the Voltron paladins as The Cub Scouts
Keith: When I was younger I had a crush on this boy at the garrison and didn’t know how to deal with it so I wrote him a letter that just said, “Get out of my school.”
Lance: THAT WAS YOU?!
*Lance and Keith looking at a locked gate into a park*
Lance: Aw. :(
Keith: You know what they say.
Lance: Please don’t-
Keith: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
Lance:Quiznack-
Keith: I got you a flamethrower for your birthday!
Shiro: I said I wanted a bubble gun. That makes bubbles.
Keith: I swear I heard flamethrower
Shiro: I really don’t need two days of birthday party
Pidge: Exactly my reasoning
Shiro: Thank you-
Keith: Which is why yesterday we had the party but today is dedicated to letting you relax and be comfortable
Shiro:…
Lance: We know you need this
Pidge: SINGLES APPRECIATION DAY SUCKERS! WHO’S GOING HALF PRICED CANDY SHOPPING WITH ME?
Keith [holding Lance’s hand]: We’re a bit busy
Hunk [being held by Shay]: I think cuddles are scheduled for today
Allura [kissing Shiro]: I believe we’re going to be a bit…preoccupied.
Matt [latched onto Kuron’s arm]: I have all the candy I need.
Pidge: …LOTOR I NEED A SINGLE PERSON TO GO OUT WITH!
Lance:Keith, are you having a depressive episode?
Keith: depressive episode???
Keith: I’m having a depressive series and we’re on season five right now.
Lance: What day is it?
Shiro: Limbo week.
Lance: Oh…I hate that
Pidge:Limbo…week?
Keith: After Christmas, before new years. When nobody knows what’s happening and we just kinda exist.
Lance: Happy Crimus
Shiro: It’s crismun
Keith: Merry crisis
Hunk: Merry Chrysler
Allura [close to tears]: What are you saying?
Pidge: You’ll get used to it
Shiro: Who put silly string in everyone’s stocking?
Keith: I wanna have a silly string fight.
Lance: I second that motion.
Shiro: I don’t think that’s a good-
Lance: You’re not letting Samurai have his Christmas wish?
Shiro:Well-
Keith: You won’t let Sharpshooter have fun?
Shiro:…FINE.
Lance: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Pidge: Shut up and give me coffee before we do-
Hunk:PRESENTS!
Keith: Who wants a complimentary Santa hat?
Shiro: PLUG IN THE LIGHTS EVEN THOUGH IT’S SIX IN THE MORNING!
Pidge:Why?
Everyone: IT ADDS AESTHETIC!
Keith: That was a nice candlelight Christmas service
Lance: you set a pEW ON FIRE
Keith: A nice service.
Shiro:*Moving to give Keith a hug*
Keith:*flinches*
Shiro: Why’d you move?
Keith: I thought you were gonna hit me
Shiro: I was gonna hug you
Keith: Why would you hug me?
Shiro: WHY WOULD I HIT YOU?
Shiro: I’m here for Keith and Lance
Deputy: surnames?
Shiro: You must be new here
Keith & Lance:*screaming*
Shiro*runs into room*: What’s wrong Keith!
Lance: Wait… Why are you asking him when I’m screaming too?
Shiro: Because Keith won’t scream unless it’s an emergency and you scream whenever you have the chance
lance: *has a chin sharper than a knife*
keith, a knife enthusiast: