#incorrect vld quotes
Me: I love Loto-
A swarm of assholes, emerging from the shadows, in perfect unison: You know he’s dead right
Allura, texting Lance: Lotor’s in the hospital, I hope he gets better
Lance: i hope he does
Lance: sry autocorrect *dies
Lance: you know, you don’t have to narrate my every movement
Pidge: his mouth would move but I would not listen
Keith: can you pass the salt?
Shiro: can you pass your classes?
Keith: ,,that’s too much salt
Lance: it’s nice to be wanted
Pidge: ,,not by the law
Shiro: Where were you last night?
Matt: I was at a party drinking and smoking weed
Pidge: Don’t lie. You were at the library you fucking nerd
Lance at the beginning of the year: 2020,, and Pidge and Matt are still not here
Lance now: Seems like no one had a 2020 vision. I have no idea what’s happening anymore
Keith: *helping wounded pidge*
Keith: what’s your blood type?
Pidge: how would I know?
Keith: how would you not know?
Pidge: who do you think I am? Karl Landsteiner discoverer of blood groups?
Keith: you don’t know your blood type but you know who discovered them?
Keith: When I was younger I had a crush on this boy at the garrison and didn’t know how to deal with it so I wrote him a letter that just said, “Get out of my school.”
Lance: THAT WAS YOU?!
[After Lotors betrayal]
Allura:You are like a fart.
Lotor:?????
Allura: I shouldn’t have trusted you.
*Lance and Keith looking at a locked gate into a park*
Lance: Aw. :(
Keith: You know what they say.
Lance: Please don’t-
Keith: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
Lance:Quiznack-
Keith: I got you a flamethrower for your birthday!
Shiro: I said I wanted a bubble gun. That makes bubbles.
Keith: I swear I heard flamethrower
Shiro: I really don’t need two days of birthday party
Pidge: Exactly my reasoning
Shiro: Thank you-
Keith: Which is why yesterday we had the party but today is dedicated to letting you relax and be comfortable
Shiro:…
Lance: We know you need this
Pidge: SINGLES APPRECIATION DAY SUCKERS! WHO’S GOING HALF PRICED CANDY SHOPPING WITH ME?
Keith [holding Lance’s hand]: We’re a bit busy
Hunk [being held by Shay]: I think cuddles are scheduled for today
Allura [kissing Shiro]: I believe we’re going to be a bit…preoccupied.
Matt [latched onto Kuron’s arm]: I have all the candy I need.
Pidge: …LOTOR I NEED A SINGLE PERSON TO GO OUT WITH!
Lance: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Hunk:What?
Pidge: Fish don’t have a concept of human language.
Lance:…
Hunk:…
Lance:…
Hunk:…
Lance: a fsh… you call it a fsh…
Pidge: hey, Lance *kicks him*
Lance: stop!
Pidge: hey, Lance *kicks him off bed*
Lance: I’m sensitive, Pidge!
Lance: Shiro died after we couldn’t remember his blood type
Lance: He kept saying “Be positive,” but it’s so hard without him.
Pidge, meeting Hunk and Lance for the first time: Hi, my name’s Pidge. I’m literally just the embodiment of what it feels like to chew into ice cubes.
Lance: [to Hunk] Can we keep him?
Keith: I’m the type of guy who likes to think things through.
Shiro: “Remember that time you tried to eat a marshmallow while it was still on fire?”
Zethrid: What should we do till Lotor gets back?
Ezor: Let’s make poems!
Axca: Poems? About what?
Ezor: Nature!
Narti: I got one.
Ezor: See? Narti in the spirit. Go ahead Narti.
Narti: Rose are black,
Violets are black,
Everything is black
I’m blind.
Submitted by @sadness-sleep-and-suicide
Keith, studying at the garrison: *stands up in the middle of the library and slams book shut*
Keith: fuck school. Fuck all this bullshit. What the fuck.
Shrio: You can’t spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all day.
Keith: Yes, I can.
Shiro, walking into battle: Hey there, Zarkon. It’s me, ya boy.
[shopping in IKEA]
Shiro: [staring at all the desks]
Lance, walking up to him: What’re you doing?
Shiro: I’m wondering which of them you’d look best pinned aga-
Lance: [slaps his hand over Shiro’s mouth]
Keith: I wish I were a star
Lance: why?
Keith: so I were light years far from you
Zarkon: What if I implement a no-pets policy in the empire?
Haggar: Well, hell, man, you can’t throw Lotor out like that.
Allura: How do we look?
Pidge: What are you going for?
Lance: Sophisticated with a hint of slutty.
Pidge: Bulls-eye.
Allura: Look guys, I need help.
Lance: Love help?
Shiro: Financial help?
Pidge: Gaming help?
Hunk: Emotional help?
Keith: Help moving a body?
*Everyone looke at Keith.*
Keith: …what?
Shrio: Well, we’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses. What can we live without?
Lance: Probably Keith
Keith: stop copying me
Lance: stop copying me
Keith: I’m gay
Lance: …you are
Keith: I’ve been waiting so long to tell you
Lance: it’s okay man
Keith: Y'all’d’ve'f'ld’ve
Pidge: You all would have if I would have?
Keith: Correct! It’s almost a complete sentence of contractions!
Lance: The South is out of control
Pidge, to Shiro: Why do you always let me win the race up the climbing stairs, you’re faster than me.
Shiro: I like seeing you smile when you win.
Pidge, to Keith: He’s staring at my ass.
Keith: Yeah he’s staring at your ass.
