Shiro: Keith has no survival or self-preservation instincts. I think he was built without them.

Lance: That can’t be true-

Shiro: Watch this.

Shiro: Hey, Keith! Race you downstairs!

Keith:*Jumps out of twenty-story window*

Lance: *taking off shirt* god it’s so hot in here

Keith: Yeah, but why are you taking off my shirt?

voltron headcanons no one asked for

• (If Adam was alive) Lance and Adam are best friends™ and have a lot of inside jokes. Shiro and Keith are constantly scared of these two.
• Platonic Kidge. Pidge and Keith are conspiracy theorie freaks and could talk hour about it. (Pidge secretly doesn’t trust the government)
• Matt teaches/shows Romelle memes
• Everyone ships Klance and they are open about it. Pidge “Tell your boyfriend to shut up” Keith “Lance is not my boyfriend” Pidge “Yeah, and I am Morgan Freeman”.
• Shiro makes a lot of gay jokes
• Shiro uses het emojis
• The Paladins call Coran “Uncle Coran” most of the time (Like they call Shiro “Dad”)
• A lot of adults are actually really scared of Pidge
• The Paladins have a “Hunk’s cookies friday”. Hunk makes cookies every Friday and they all have a movie night.
• Pidge secretly likes MCR
• Keith is a weeb
• The first time Keith heard about “Klance” he asked Lance what it means. After Lance explained it to Keith, they both got really red and were awkward around each other for a week
• Lance adopted a cat and names her Blue (Blue and Kosmo are getting along really well)
• Lance worships the bee-movie
• Pidge, Hunk, and Lance call the Galra “Furries (is that how you write it?) Including Keith
• Lance wants to know what shampoo Lotor used
• Adam is the cooler dad™

Shiro: Good morning to everyone except myself because I wish I was still in bed

Keith: can you pass the salt?

Shiro: can you pass your classes?

Keith: ,,that’s too much salt

Lance: it’s nice to be wanted

Pidge: ,,not by the law

Shiro: Where were you last night?

Matt: I was at a party drinking and smoking weed

Pidge: Don’t lie. You were at the library you fucking nerd

Lance at the beginning of the year: 2020,, and Pidge and Matt are still not here

Lance now: Seems like no one had a 2020 vision. I have no idea what’s happening anymore

bootsi:

I won’t take selfies with other people y’all don’t know my angles

Keith: *helping wounded pidge*

Keith: what’s your blood type?

Pidge: how would I know?

Keith: how would you not know?

Pidge: who do you think I am? Karl Landsteiner discoverer of blood groups?

Keith: you don’t know your blood type but you know who discovered them?

Texting

Pidge:kqvsvaja

Keith: what is that?

Pidge: a keysmash

Keith: how do i do it

Pidge: just press anything

Keith:8

Me: I love Loto-

A swarm of assholes, emerging from the shadows, in perfect unison: You know he’s dead right

Allura, texting Lance: Lotor’s in the hospital, I hope he gets better

Lance: i hope he does

Lance: sry autocorrect *dies

Keith, to his daughter: When you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy drugs or cigarettes because you can. No. You know what else is legal to buy at 18? Blades. Get yourself a damn sword. A big knife is also okay.

Lance: Keith no-

Lance: you know, you don’t have to narrate my every movement

Pidge: his mouth would move but I would not listen

sunnyspeaches:

Keith: When I was younger I had a crush on this boy at the garrison and didn’t know how to deal with it so I wrote him a letter that just said, “Get out of my school.”

Lance: THAT WAS YOU?!

veracxa:

*Lance and Keith looking at a locked gate into a park*

Lance: Aw. :(

Keith: You know what they say.

Lance: Please don’t-

Keith: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Lance:Quiznack-

incorrectvld-quotes:

Keith: I got you a flamethrower for your birthday!

Shiro: I said I wanted a bubble gun. That makes bubbles.

Keith: I swear I heard flamethrower

incorrectvld-quotes:

Shiro: I really don’t need two days of birthday party

Pidge: Exactly my reasoning

Shiro: Thank you-

Keith: Which is why yesterday we had the party but today is dedicated to letting you relax and be comfortable

Shiro:…

Lance: We know you need this

incorrectvld-quotes:

Pidge: SINGLES APPRECIATION DAY SUCKERS! WHO’S GOING HALF PRICED CANDY SHOPPING WITH ME?

Keith [holding Lance’s hand]: We’re a bit busy

Hunk [being held by Shay]: I think cuddles are scheduled for today

Allura [kissing Shiro]: I believe we’re going to be a bit…preoccupied.

Matt [latched onto Kuron’s arm]: I have all the candy I need.

Pidge: …LOTOR I NEED A SINGLE PERSON TO GO OUT WITH!