Jaune:*Coming out of bedroom completely naked* Well the good news is I think I got the last of the cum out of your lingerie, Weiss. *Holding delicate, tiny, one piece lingerie while holding it between two fingers*
Weiss:*Chokes*
Jaune: Oh come on, it’s not that… *Looks up and sees Weiss, her team, her sister, her mother, Nora and her child, Coco and Velvet and Elm all staring at him, dressed up and sitting around eating a fancy brunch*
Nora:*Covering little Freya’s eyes* No pumpkin, don’t look at Uncle Jaune’s peepee. *Glaring at Jaune*
Ruby:Oh boy, don’t look at your male besties dick, Ruby Rose.
Willow:*Wide eyed but refusing to look at anything but her non-alcoholic coffee* Oh my.
Winter:*Bright red* A-a-ah, u-um, sister!?
Yang:*Whistles*How the hell does he fit that inside lil’ ol’ Weiss?
Blake:*Trying to cover Yang’s eyes as Yang holds her away one handedly* No, don’t look at his dick, Yang, we’re married!
Yang:*Blows raspberry, laughing*
Coco:*Puts down finger sandwich while sighing sadly*
Velvet:*Gaping*
Elm:*To Weiss* Damn girl. *Puts fist up*Respect.
Weiss:*Crimson, ignoring everybody* Jaune Schnee-Arc, what do you think you’re–coveryourselfthisinstant!
Jaune:*Still standing, staring, lingerie between two fingers*
Weiss:*Finally notices everybody else staring, blushes harder and clenches fist while shaking* You dunce! T-this isn’t what it looks like, ladies!
Yang:*Grinning smugly, eyes covered by a panting and exhausted Blake* Mhmm. We get you, Weiss. Bow-chika-wow-wow!
Weiss:*Wants the earth to swallow her whole as she now notices her mother sneaking peaks*
Jaune:*Looks from everybody, back to the bedroom he was in and speaks, genuinely baffled* How long was I in there!?
Jaune: Not what I saw. So, I decided to buy this little guy *hand on Whitley’s head*!
Whitley:*Covering his face with his hands* I want to go home now, sister.
Weiss: What! I’m your girlfriend you unbelievable ass!
Jaune:*Proud* Exactly. I buy Whitley, I get you free. *Much more seriously* I refuse to be the type of man to do something so gauche as buy a mail-order wife, Weiss.
Weiss:*Slowly goes beet red as she notices all the strangers staring*I-you-wha-no-youcan’t-w-w-w-w-w-w-wife?
Jaune:*Kisses her cheek* Love you, Snow Angel.
Weiss:*Slowly following, cheeks burning, muttering cutely* Wife? As in his bride? Was I just proposed to? I’m not ready! Oh, what kind of dress will I wear? W-wait, Jaune! This is too sudden! Jaune!? Please don’t ignore me!
Weiss:*From underneath many blankets, peeking from behind a comforter* I’m truly sorry, Arc. I had meant to assist you in your dust theory paper, but I’m not feeling terribly well.
Jaune:*Scratches head* Hey, no worries Sn- Weiss. Do you need anything? A hot compress?
Weiss:*Is glad she has a comforter for a shield as she blushes in embarrassment*How!*Coughs, in a normal tone of voice* Excuse me. How did you…
Jaune: I have seven sisters, Weiss.
Weiss:*Nods meekly, still embarrassed* A hot compress would be lovely. I feel awful.
—————–
Yang:*Blinks* Is that vomit boy?
Blake:*Reading*You could try calling him by his name.
Yang: You could try acknowledging his existence. *Blake glares, feeling a little guilty*
Cardin:*Walking by* He needed a warm compress.
Yang: What for?
Cardin:*Feeling kinda humbled, a bit envious* Nothin’ serious.
—————–
Jaune:*Taking box* Thanks Coco, you’re a lot less scary than Poppy said you were.
Coco:*Lowers her shades* Oh, did snookums slander my good name?
Jaune:*Feels his neck get hot* U-uh, no! Just that you were kinda protective of, um, *lifts box, almost drops it and gives Coco a heart attack* this. Sorry. But really, thanks, it’s really nice of you.
Coco:*Clutching her heart, waves him off* Just tell that leggy blonde she owes me some serious cuddling.
—————–
Professor Peach: It’s not often I get students actually interested in my hobby.
Jaune:Well, we are all teenagers.
Professor Peach: *Laughs*True enough. Hmm. *Side eyes Jaune* Well, the same can’t be said for you, young man. *Sees Jaune about to protest* I think what you meant to say is you’re all aspiring Huntsmen and Huntresses. Sometimes the future is so bright and shiny to your classmates that they forgot the everyday. It’s quite nice to see that isn’t the case with each of you.
Jaune:*Opens and closes his mouth, shuffles awkwardly*
Professor Peach: *Smiles softly* You have nothing to be embarrassed of, Jaune Arc. Here *carefully hands his request over* exactly as you requested. Have a wonderful day, child.
Jaune:*Nods quickly and walks off*
Professor Peach: And days like today, Rosalie, are why you do this job. *Happily hums as she gets back to work*
—————–
Jaune:Okay, look, I’m just asking which–
Beryl:*Sighs dramatically* And I’m telling you, kitten *Ignores Jaune’s protests* that they’re all mondo good.
Julie:Like, Bea-Bea’s right. That one *pointing with a fuchsia nail* is just the sweetest thing in the world, will just have you feeling warm and happy inside after.
Cissy:Plus it has just…mmm. Ouch! *Is swatted by Beryl, playfully* You bitch. Anyways, that one right there is just cute and total *squeals*overload. Can’t go wrong with it, it’s a classic.
Beryl:Thenthatone is probably the safest bet, because who doesn’t love a puppy?
Jaune:A puppy? *Beryl nods* Well, uh, thanks. And I promise I’ll get them back to you by tomorrow. I’ll also see if Ren’s interested, but, uh, maybe keep your semblances ready?
Cissy:*Raises hand*Uh, I haven’t activated mine yet. I’ve just got Nemesis.
Beryl:*Slings arm around Cissy’s shoulders* Don’t worry, kitten, between My House and Julie’s Spit-Spot, plus our weapons we can handle Valkyrie if she gets in a mood.
Jaune:*Deadpan*She was benchpressing one of the academy’s washing machines the other day. No aura.
Julie:We’re good at running away.
Beryl:*Scandalized*Julie!
Julie:Cute boy or not, no way am I getting my face rocked by that monster.
Jaune:*Shrugs, collecting stuff to leave* Um, I don’t know if it’ll work but maybe fill your bags with syrup. Might work as a distraction if Mt. Nora erupts.
Beryl:*Flatly*Really?
Cissy:*Flips platinum blonde hair* I saw her drinking it right out of the bottle once before Lie stopped her.
Beryl:*Sees Jaune’s gone, giggles* Somehow I think kitten got the better end of the deal. *Speculative* Shame he’s super taken.
Julie:Uh, what? Isn’t-
Beryl: Oh you sweet summer child, never change *Ruffles Julie’s hair*
Julie: Ack! Stop!
—————–
Jaune:Thanks headmaster! This is all really great!
Ozpin:*Working at desk* No need to thank me, mister Arc.
Jaune:Uh, yeah I do. You didn’t haveto allow me to do this, but you did and it’s really neat of you.
Ozpin:*Smiles*Well then, you’re welcome. Enjoy.
—————–
Ruby:You definitely came to the right girl!
Jaune:*Looking at his haul* I’ll say. You’re sure you’re okay with helping? I kinda saw the looks you were giving Crescent Rose back at the forge. *Teasingly*You sure you don’t want some alone time with your baby?
Ruby:*Blushes the color of her cloak* S-shut up! She’ll be fine without me, I was just thinking of trying out some custom dust ammo is all! *Very seriously* I don’t have a problem! You have a problem!
Jaune:Riii-iiight.*Ruby puffs cheeks out, teasingly* Like you don’t have a cookie problem?
Ruby:*Points dramatically, very loud* THAT…*Slumps and sighs* please don’t tell Yang I have a nightly plate of chocolate chip.
Jaune:*Laughs*No problem, Ruby. You know me. How can I turn my back on the girl who actually talked her team into not killing me when I told them I cheated my way into Beacon?
Ruby:Yeah, yeah. So get those babies ready, vomit boy and watch Ruby - I am totally a pro at this and all things wonderful - Rose do her magic!
Jaune:Will do, crater face!
—————–
Jaune:*Grins*Thanks Cardin. You know, when you’re not being all racist and pushing people around you’re actually a really nice guy.
Sky:Ooooh. What a compliment. The kindness just gently caresses your face like a butterfly’s wings, huh Cardin?
Cardin:*Scowling*Shut it, Sky. I’m still trying so that’s totally fair.
Jaune:I, uh, didn’t mean it–
Cardin:*Rubbing neck* I know dude, no worries. Got a date with my girl coming up and it’s our anniversary, so it’s just a little extra. And don’t worry about paying me back, this is like the very least I can do for you after everything. *Jaune’s about to protest* Nope. I know we’re cool, but I was a huge douchebag. I mean it.
Jaune:Well thanks. It means a lot. *Leaves*
Russel:*Reading motorcycle magazine* You don’t havea girl, bro.
Cardin:*Frowns*I know.
Dove:You know you don’t have to help him out like that. You’re only hurting yourself.
Cardin:*Wipes face with hands, flops on his bed and stares at the ceiling*Yeah, well, too bad for Cardin fucking Winchester. If Jaune’s happy, I’m happy. I wasn’t joking when I said he deserves better than me. *Rolls on side to stare at wall.*
RDL:*All staring at their leader, all of them sad*
—————–
Jaune:*Cheerfully*I’m back!
Weiss:*Very grumpily glaring at Jaune from beneath her covers, only her eyes visible, her voice is acidic* It’s quite fine, Arc. It’s only been two and a half hours. I know you have better things to do, so don’t bother acting like you were looking forward to coming back to deal with me.
Jaune:*Winces*Yeah, sorry. I was getting the hot towel when I kinda realized that you’ve probably been dealing with this all by yourself. *Weiss growls* It’s just, I remembered how you said you and your Dad don’t really talk and your little brother’s a, a snot, I think you called him? *Weiss feels embarrassed, but says nothing while staring at Jaune* Just hold on.
*Weiss does but when he comes back in the room her eyes go wide in shock*
Jaune: I-I just have a lot of sisters. Four older, three younger and they all have different things they like when they’re on their period. Saphron’s just happy if I’ll bring her things and Coral just wants me to leave her alone. Peri always wants cuddles and movies and *blushes as he realizes how much he’s talking* I just thought instead of whatever you usually do, you might want something more? Just to try something new?
Weiss:*Stares at several hot compresses, an expensive looking box of chocolates, a small boquet of blue Glory of the Snow’s, a stack of films, several unhealthy but delicious looking snacks and a stuffed polar bear with a top hat*
Weiss:*Wide eyed, completely taken aback* W-what?
Jaune:I-I-I don’t mean to assume anything, but I’m guessing you didn’t really have anyone who tried to make your period any better?
Weiss:I have a butler, Klein, who would always check in on me but never, well I never thought to ask for more. *Very softly as she stares at the rolling entourage of goodies* It never occurred.
Jaune:Okay, well, um, how about I bring this in?
*Jaune does, Weiss watching as he sets the flowers near her bed with wide eyes and gratefully accepting the compress, bringing it under her comforter and sighing in relief*
Jaune:We’ll have to set it up on your scroll, but I did bring movies to just so you have something fun to do today. There’s a family film with an apparently super cute actor, another that’s a cute animated movie that’s a staple of everybody’s childhood except mine apparently, *Weiss snorts, watching the covers* and one about a puppy finding his way home–
Weiss:*Eyes glued to the case, speaks immediately* That one.
Jaune:You sure, I checked the fam–
Weiss:*Eyes not leaving the box* I’m certain. *Flushes*Please?
Jaune:Sure. Just let me set this up.
*Jaune also hands over the chocolates, which Weiss stares at curiously and much to her delight, brings over the bags of snacks and she clutches the bag of cheesy poofs to her, very much wanting to try them for the first time*
Jaune:Okay, that should do it. So you’ve got your Cheez-E-Poofs, I grabbed a few sodas, juices that I thought you might like *quickly*but I also got water! Um, here. *Hands Weiss the stuffed animal, which she stares at and brings close to her face, loving how cute it is and how soft it is* Oh, Ruby helped me dip some strawberry’s in chocolate if you wanna try them later. There’s normal ones too.
Weiss:*Touched and doesn’t know what to say* I-it’s all so…umm, thank you. You really didn’t have to.
Jaune: *Scratches the back of his head, looks away* No problem, Weiss. I’m used to stuff like this, so…I’ll go. *Looking very embarassed* You’ve probably had enough of me talking you to death, so I’m just gonna go across the hall–
Weiss:*From behind her bear* Stay.*Jaune stares at her, blinking in surprise* You were going to offer, but you…back home the most I ever got were the occasional visits from Klein. But having someone to be there sounds very nice and I’d like if you would. Very much. I certainly won’t eat all of this anyways, so…please?
Jaune:*Nodding rapidly* Sure. Right. Yeah, I just didn’t wanna assume or impose or *watches Weiss’ eyes light up at the cheesy snack she just tried* I’ll sit.
*Jaune sits next to Weiss’ bed and they watch the film, eat snacks and after the movie, Weiss tries the strawberries as the second film starts. When she wakes up after falling asleep, she discovers the mess she’d made of the comforter is cleaned, Jaune had gathered up her snacks and placed them in a box. Her flowers now have a vase and the bear she had placed on his shoulder is on her pillow*
Weiss:*Smiles and hugs bear tightly*
~~A week later~~
Weiss:*Exasperated* Where is he?
Yang:*Balancing a pencil on her nose on her bed, ignoring her homework* Who?
Weiss:*Notices Berry B. Cold on Yang’s stomach and shoots forward like a bullet, snatching him and hugging him to her abdomen* You know who you bum, Jaune!
Yang:*Grinning like the cat who ate the canary* Oh-ho, finally acknowledging him by his first name after all this time, Weiss Cream?
Weiss:*Blushing*Quiet you.
Ruby:Leave her alone, Yang. But, uh, I don’t really know where he is.
Weiss:Nonsense. I may have missed the chance to help him with his paper but at the very least I can at least explain some of the theory to him, give him better than what Beacon’s textbooks offer.
Yang:Oh yeah, sure, sounds fun.
Weiss:*Bristling*E-even if it’s a boring subject, it is useful. *Hugs bear tighter* And he needs all the help he can get and–
Blake:*Walking in* If you’re talking about Jaune, he’s way too busy Weiss.
Weiss:I beg your pardon?
Yang:Yeah, you didn’t know?
Weiss:*Irritated*No Yang, it’s why I asked you in the first place.
Yang:*Flatly*Oh. I thought you were joking. No, I mean it, don’t look at me like that! Seriously, vomit boy’s been busy the last couple days.
Weiss:*Confused* But why?
Yang:*Staring* Seriously? I mean, he got that whole thing together for you.
Weiss:M-me!? Is that…but he said he was used to it! I-I knew he was talking about his sisters, but he said Ruby helped! H-he…
Ruby: Yup, I did, but I didn’t know Jaune was making them so you could have a nice, comfy that-time-of-the-month. I thought he just wanted a strawberry snack! That he’d finally been enlightened. *Sighs*
Yang:And that whole spread wasn’t just free, he went around and traded a lot of favors to get it together.
Weiss:*Gaping*H-he…what?He traded favors, just… *Uncertain, squeezing her bear while looking distressed* You didn’t know? He hasn’t done that with any of you?
Ruby:Nope!
Blake: Gods no.
Yang: Dad’s sweet like that for me when it’s bad-bad, but if Jaune offered I’d definitely turn him down. *Gives Weiss a look*
Ruby:Yeah, and all I need is my Non-Descript Winter Holiday lights and my guns ‘n ammo mags plus my scroll and I’m happy. *Shrugs*I get really crabby so I prefer being alone.
RWY:*Staring at Blake*
Blake:My ex did it for me once. Never again.
Weiss:S-so he did all that, just for me? Because I was miserable?
Yang:*Sighs, flops back on her bed* I don’t know why you’re so surprised. Ask his team. Jaune’s actually a pretty nice guy. He aimed Neptune in your direction back at the dance even though anybody with eyes knew he was kinda bummed the whole night. After you started talking with him after and started sharing, I think he just wanted you to have, y’know, some normal stuff that we all enjoy because our Dad’s aren’t asshats.
Ruby:Yang!
Blake:*Sees Weiss looking at her, looking upset* He’s been Coco’s personal shopper for the last week, he’s been dodging Nora since Ren agreed to a date with each of those girls from Team SNLT because she is pissed, he’s been doing odd jobs for Ozpin all week, he’s been doing a lot of work outside for Peach and I think he’s also been in the laundry rooms a lot. That stuff wasn’t just free. Plus he’s had to do all his usual leader stuff and his homework.
Weiss:*Gapes, hugs her bear and her eyes drift to her box of treats and she purses her lips* B-but…that’s so much, just so I…
Yang:Um, he likes you Weiss. Even if he stepped aside for Neptune, he’s not gonna just poof whatever he feels for you away just because he doesn’t have a chance. Then he sees you feeling like shit, knows just how bad it is because of all his sisters and gets it in his head that you deserve the princess treatment. *Stretches* He offered for Pyrrha once but she just went really red, yelled ‘NO!’ and apparently pushed him through a wall.
Weiss:*Sits on bed with her knees pulled up, hugging her bear while hiding a wobbling lip as she realizes and RBY just sighs*
~~Four days later~~
Yang:*Grins*Called it.
Blake:Yes, because it was such a mystery that this was gonna happen after Weiss had it spelled out for her that Jaune still has it bad for her even if he was trying to get over her. I’ll admit I still don’t understand the way Weiss thinks or why Jaune would put himself through all of that just because Weiss was having a bad period when it was clear at the time she wasn’t even thinking of him that way, but c’mon Yang.
Yang:*Hand out*
Blake:*Rolls her eyes, puts Lien in her hand* Child.
*Meanwhile Weiss stands on her tiptoes, arms around Jaune’s neck and enjoys kissing her boyfriend*
——————————————————————————
Two things: One, I headcanon Cardin as gay and occasionally having a thing for Jaune if it isn’t entirely obvious. Two, I don’t want my Tumblr to be nothing but crack/lewd. I’d also like some occasional romance/wholesome content. This isn’t the best, but hopefully it’s not quite as bad as I think it is towards the end.
Blake:*Rubbing Yang’s heavily pregnant belly* Not that I don’t appreciate the help, Weiss, but are you sure they’ll do the job and keep our baby boy safe?
Yang: *Nodding in concern* Yeah, I know what they’re advertised to do but do they actually do the job?
Weiss:*Resting chin in palm and blandly looks over at Jaune, who’s just entering the room*
Jaune:*Attempts to open babygate, struggles, jiggles the lock, visibly tries to open it before sighing, stepping over the gate instead and going into the kitchen*
Also Jaune: *Tries to open the snack cabinet but the stopper causes it to click into place, Jaune tugs on the door and after pinching his finger trying to unlock it, curses and growls*
Still Jaune: *Tries to open baby-proofed cookie jar, scratches it, pinches his fingers again, twists it and fails* Oh what fresh child-proof hell is this!?
Weiss:*Blandly looks at the stunned, disbelieving faces of her friends watching her husband* Yes Yang, they do. *Sips mojito as Jaune curses in the background*
Weiss: Remember that time you managed to record dad doing some shady things and got him arrested?
Willow: Of course, that one is a memory I won’t ever forget.
Weiss: May I ask you something that I’ve been wondering for some time now?
Willow: What is it?
Weiss: How did you know exactly which room to record to catch him doing the things he did.
Willow: Oh I didn’t, I just placed cameras on every corner of the house and regularly checked on them.
Weiss: Oh I see, that’s smart.
Willow: Why, thank you.
Weiss: … . .wait a minute, did you say “every corner” of the house.
Willow: Yes i did.
Weiss: *pink* Does… . .does that include my room?
Willow: Yes it does
Weiss: *red* … .y-you wouldn’t have stumbled on-
Willow: Don’t worry, that was already deleted from the system, and I won’t judge your tastes. I know years in this place has made you quite repressed, so what you and your “sweet knight” do to unwind, relax or show affection is none of my concern.
Weiss:*redder* … . .t-thank you.
Willow: Though i do have to ask, with that size, how didn’t he break you yet?
Following a harrowing day on the stock market that saw her net worth plummet by half, this aspiring white knight prepared to see watch her friendly takeover attempt turn hostile.
The white knight here, displaying the man-shaming, with his toxic masculinity, is Whitesheikh_UK
Feminists claim to critique toxic masculinity, yet when MRA’s and Feminists start debating, some “white knight” jumps in and begins man-shaming the MRA’s by making attacks on their masculinity. Telling men to not complain about anything they perceive as unjust, but instead to man-up, stop whining, be a man, etc. You know, all the toxic macho bullshit. Feminists didn’t scold him or critique his toxic masculinity when it was in a white knight defense of them. It seems hypocritical to me. Furthermore, am I the only one that catches on to the fact that this “be a MAN” about it, is a sleight against women. You know, like “be a man about it” which translates to “toughen up, the way males are tough” which is the polar opposite of saying “be a woman about it, and cry like a baby, as women do”.
Feminists will whine over “like a girl” yet when some macho jack ass white knights for them, and tells men to be strong like men, instead of a crybaby “like a girl” suddenly there are no objections.
Funny how that works.
Furthermore, I’d also like to say to all my fellow MRA’s, this is indeed an example of how “male pride” and championing masculinity, actually can be toxic to the well being of men. If your wife hits you… MAN up. If feminism screws you over… ah come on, take it like a man. If a woman sexually harasses you… what are you, a fag?
I don’t need to preach this to my MGTOW brothers, they get this. They understand that the instinctive nature of both men and women is gynocentric, and thus much of what male nature is, is a set of behaviors that altruistically benefit women. Masculinity is a tool for women to use and put us in our place. I’m not saying drop all masculinity, but be careful about taking PRIDE in your masculine nature, that pride can be a weakness real quick.
Just think about these terms and what they mean:
Man up: Surrender, take the blame, apologize (like a good little whipping boy).
Take It Like A Man: Be silent about your abuse.
All these terms Man up, take it like a man, a real man, be a man. These terms literally translate to: give up and shut up.
Combine that with the notion that a real man stands there and lets a woman strike him, and he doesn’t fight back, he stands there passive and silent “taking it like a man”. And I think it becomes clear, the word “man” is synonymous with the word “slave”. That’s right, the male identity is proud obedient slave to a woman.
Again, this man-shaming white knighting shit is toxic masculinity, it even degrades women in the process, but feminists don’t mind that, as long as it keeps men in line, silent, passive, compliant.
The feminist claim to be fighting “toxic masculinity” is a complete farce. Toxic masculinity to them, is just jargon for “male behavior that doesn’t suit us”.
