#actuallybipolar
Im bipolar is this normal?
So i have early onset bipolar (diagnosed in a sych ward not self dx lmfao im antiselfdx) And i need to know this but im 13 and i get easily jealous over everything and angery and idk just lose my shit so easily ex all someone in my life has to do is talk to one of there friends and ill immediatly assume they hate me so ill say awful things like “kys bitch” or “i hope you get cancer” “i hate you” “you hate me” “your ruining everything” “douchebag” “bitch” “whore” Only a couple times ive gotten pysical but ive shut someone out before and they no longer am friends but im worried that if i keep this up ill have no friends help??? And i want them its just idk im strange if i don’t get any affection i feel abandoned but if i do get affection and love i feel uncomfortable its confusing i feel like a piece of shit. and then i forgive them an hour or day later (depending) then do something else rude. i basically have no control.
What I need in life is to not be so noticeably mentally ill that would be gr8
No fuck that. What I need is to not be overrun by my symptoms. To have people be compassionate and, or at the very least, be understanding of my limitations and issues.
Or, you know, for my mom to NOT WHISPER ABOUT ME ON THE PHONE WHEN I AM RIGHT THERE THAT’D BE AWESOME
What I need in life is to not be so noticeably mentally ill that would be gr8
That bipolar/autistic feel when you have no spoons but are hypomanic and Suffer™
When you realize that you’re being super irrational and Unstable and you’re stuck wondering whether or not it’s a Borderline Thing, an oncoming-hypomania-episode Bipolar Thing, or a Schizotypal Thing.
never washing off your makeup
there is garbage all throughout your room
never washing your clothes or your dishes
what the fuck is a shower
when you just looked at the clock it was 12 but now its 4 am and you dont know how that happened
up all night, asleep all day
u either dont eat at all or you eat until u need to puke
those days that you just cannot get out of bed
‘have you tried yoga?’
I’m so tired of being mentally ill. Not being able to feed yourself sucks. Things not going the way they’re supposed to causing uncontrollable rage and tantrums suck. Everything just sucks, and I’m fucking exhausted. But I’m still “Not that bad” fuck you, fuck off, fuck everything
That bipolar/borderline feel when you only realize you’re hypomanic because you have so much energy and anxiety that you had to take two sleeping pills to be able to function throughout the day, even though that’s not what they’re for and you never do stuff like that, you screamed at people for no reason, are actively suicidal, everything’s the end of the world, and you tried to force yourself to do a week’s worth of work in two hours.
That nd feel when: “I’m just super mentally ill right now.”
That nd feel when everything blends together so badly you can’t tell where one disorder ends and another begins
That feel when it’s been such a long depressive cycle you can no longer tell the difference between “stable” and hypomanic. So you’re just waiting to see how bad your decisions are and how much you overwhelm yourself.
