#check please

Preview #13:

picking up what you’re putting down

@greenishbucket

- a Ransom/Holster/Chowder fic!

“I’m only here for a bit, you know?” Chow is saying with a gloomy shrug when Holster successfully checks back into reality without having actually screeched out loud.

“Uh, wow, hey now,” Holster says, automatic. “I don’t know about that.”

At the exact same time, with just as much outraged bluster, Ransom starts, “I think you’ll find with a save percentage like–”

They both realise at the same moment that they are defending Chris Chow to Chris Chow, not to some dumb bro who doesn’t get the artistry of being a goalie, and Holster can feel his entire upper body flush. Ransom’s teeth clack he shuts his mouth so fast.

Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !

Preview #12:

@twostepsfromtemerant

Chris Harrison: Don’t miss out on the excitement. Tune in next week for a new episode of The Bachelorette

Ryan D: You aren’t here for the right reasons! I’m serious about finding love, but you’re just treating this like a game.

Ransom: I don’t know what the f— you’re talking about! I’ve been committed to April since day one. And she knows that.

Ryan D: Yeah, then why are you attached to Adam 24/7?

[Ransom pauses, shock and hurt flashing across his face.]

Ryan D: I’m glad you’ve made friends here or whatever, but April deserves undivided attention, and she needs to know that you’re not giving that to her.

[Cut to April shuts the door of an SUV, and turns away wiping tears from her eyes. The SUV drives off without the audience seeing who is inside.]

Nick: Did she just…

Holster: [looks stricken] I think she sent him home.

Chris Harrison VO: And coming up, a twist never before seen in Bachelor history.

Holster in interview: It’s crazy to say it, but I have found love here on this journey. I’ve never been this happy. And I need to no longer be afraid to express how I really feel.

[April is standing next to a table with only a few roses on it, looking nervous. She picks up the first one, but before she can say anything Holster steps forward.]

Holster: I’m so sorry April, but there’s something I need to say.

Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !

Preview #11:

@insertatitlehere(emimix3 on AO3)

Shit…

What did he take the day before?

Bob tried to open his eyes. It was way too early – but there was an alarm ringing, and it was loud.

Half unconscious, he tried to reach for the alarm clock on the bedside table. He had no such chance. Slowly, he opened his eyes – the alarm clock was right there, a fancy new thing with red digital numbers flaring at him, but the sound wasn’t coming from it.

Bob felt his heart stopping when suddenly, he felt an arm on his shoulder, and saw another reach the bedside table to take a little black… TV? Watch?, touch it, and stop the noise instantly. The person then dropped the screen and went back immediately under the covers, before literally kicking Bob out of the bed, groaning.

Okay.

That wasn’t Alicia.

And that wasn’t their bedroom.

Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !

Preview #2:

@peach-p0t(AO3)

But once Shitty told Bitty in front of half the team that he should get his forehead signed, they were quick to all pressure him into it, making him promise to have the sharpie with him when he asked.

“I am not doing that,” he insisted in the moment, handing the sharpie back after Shitty had forced it into his hands.

“Come on, Bitty, if you don’t we will pick on you forever for it,” Ransom said.

“Y’all already pick on me.”

“How ‘bout this?” Shitty said, handing the sharpie back. “I’ll bet you 20 bucks you won’t do it.”

“You’re trying to bribe me into makin’ a fool of myself in from of Jack Zimmermann?”

“Is it working?”

“No!” Bitty tried handing the sharpie back one last time, but Shitty moved his hands away.

“Alright, how’s 40 then? Holster will pay 20.”

“Hey, I didn’t agree to that!” Holster said.

“I’ll add some, too,” Ransom added, and soon enough, there was $100 waiting for Bitty if he could just get Jack Zimmermann to sign his forehead.

He couldn’t just let $100 go down the drain.

Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !

Gohere to see bunnies! More will be added as we receive them

To submit plot bunnies, go here (form open until 24 December)

[Rules]

[Schedule]

So Caitlin Farmer is tall (and she’s trans). She plays volleyball and is VERY TALL. She’s taller than Chowder (who is also trans everybody’s trans I don’t make the rules) for sure.

But don’t think for one second that that stops Chowder from picking her up/giving her piggyback rides literally all the time he loves picking up his big beautiful ripped girlfriend and making her laugh and feel like a fucking princess.

Chowder has his insecurities, but being shorter than Farmer is not one of them. To him, she is literally a Viking goddess come down from Valhalla he loves her tallness and her body and everything about her so much

Farmer used to be a lot more insecure about her height and build, but then this really sweet goalie falls head over heels for her exactly the way she is. It doesn’t solve her height dysphoria, but it sure does help when Chowder whispers in her ear how gorgeous and perfect she is whenever they’re cuddling or kissing in bed

lardy-lards:

there’s not a lot of canon stuff i’m willing to fight ngozi on but eric richard bittle being a blackhawks fan is and always be the very first thing on that list

well, he is a white boy from georgia.  it makes sense that he wouldn’t see the issue, at least at first.  as a white kid from the south, there was a lot of racist shit that i didn’t realize was racist, or that i just hadn’t thought about at all until friends talked to me about their experiences, or until took ethnic studies classes in college.  i doubt he would have gotten any sort of quality diversity education in georgia, and we don’t know if he’s taken any ethnic studies classes in college.  i hope ngozi shows this, i hope somebody sits bitty down and tells him why that team’s mascot is racist, and i hope he takes it to heart. i want to see a good example of somebody realizing their racism, apologizing for it, and doing their research to make sure they don’t make the same mistakes.

alexei-tatertot-mashkov:

you know how everyone is so proud of his nigh imperceptible playoff beard and how ransom has a spreadsheet for his chin hairs ???  the hrt is finally giving him facial hair and everyone is so excited for him and he is so happy

sophomore year, when chowder keeps talking about how he wishes he could afford top surgery, bitty calls a haus meeting (sans chowder), plus caitlin w/jack and shitty skyping in.  he proposes that the sin bin become chowder’s secret top surgery fund, and the team agrees.  caitlin tears up she’s so happy; she knows how chowder worries about whether or not the team really does love and accept him, and now she’s sure they do.  after the meeting, every time caitilin has to reassure him that the team really does care about him and accept him, she knows it’s true.

pda levels go through the roof once the sin bin becomes the top surgery fund. when shitty visits, he is an absolute menace; it’s like he came just to kiss lardo/be naked in the haus living room.  when jack visits, he does not take his hands off of bitty.  caitlin goes out of her way to be as sappy and cute and gross with chowder in front of smh as possible. when chowder tries to pay the fine, caitlin argues that she started it, so she pays.  the team starts charging a dollar entrance fee for kegsters.  and maaaybe ransom, haus treasurer, moves a few numbers around to get some extra funding from samwell every semester to put in chowder’s fund.

junior year, it’s chowder’s birthday, and he just got his braces off; he can’t wait to kiss caitlin without all the wires in the way.

the smh has raised $4251. the whole team gathers in the haus, even jack, shitty, ransom, and holster have come to celebrate.  when holster declares it’s “present time,” bitty puts a box on the table in front of chowder.  “it’s from all of us.”

once he’s torn through the wrapping paper, and sees the box is labeled “for your transition,” chris already feels the tears coming.  caitlin sits down next to him, rubs his back, and lays her head on his shoulder.  his hands shaking, chowder opens the box, and sees an index card labeled $4251 sitting on top of a pile of mostly 100s and 20s.  he bursts into tears, and turns to hug caitlin; everyone else moves in to hug him and suddenly it’s a very emotional dogpile.

senior year, chowder wakes up to caitlin taking pictures of him.

“whaaaat,” he calls out in a groggy voice.

“you’re too cute, i can’t help myself.” caitlin smiles, and keeps taking pictures.

“if you’re going to take pictures, at least let me pose!” he hops out of bed and flexes. caitlin giggles, and takes one last picture.  “how do i look?”

“you look perfect,” caitlin says as she wraps her arms around chowder’s waist and leans in to kiss him.

you know how everyone is so proud of his nigh imperceptible playoff beard and how ransom has a spreadsheet for his chin hairs ???  the hrt is finally giving him facial hair and everyone is so excited for him and he is so happy

he scoot

he score

bshittyknights:

check please au where everything’s the same except alicia sounds like linda from bob’s burgers

y'all realize jack is literally tina right

Bitty: broke into an industrial kitchen in the middle of the night to bake

Jack: trans friend named himself after a type of rock because he loves geology so goddamn much

Shitty: made an elaborate ventilation system in his dorm just for smoking weed

Lardo: managed to train a pack of theater tech boys to do her bidding for three straight years

Ransom: has studied for every test I’ve ever heard of her taking

Holster: got trashed with me and rapped damn near the entire Hamilton soundtrack while writhing around on the dressing room floor before our Rocky Horror performance

Nursey: got super high and had me listen to him dramatically read poetry and analyze the meanings of every poem and talk about how great the author was for a full hour

Dex: literally almost choked a man to death for kicking him in the balls

Chowder: Native friend got crossfaded and ran around outside yelling at every white person he saw “you don’t belong here, this is my land”

Kent: dressed up like a sexy cat to come with me to the grocery store at midnight

Tater: pulled me into his office to show me something on “the youtubes” but when he pulled up his bookmarked pages it was just thousands of YouTube videos and it took him ten minutes to find the right one

Whiskey: ate one of my shoelaces

Tango: asked our waiter if the chocolate lover’s cake was “made with real lovers”

iguanamouth:

sweaterclouds:

iguanamouth:

take a look

those are Lobster you Fool

this ,,,   is Lobster

halfabreath:

concept: Jack Laurent Zimmermann, professional hockey player and forward for the Providence Falconers, loses a bet and can’t cut his hair for a full year. imagine:

• the sheer flow
  
• how after the first three months his hair is the same length as it was in the Q and everyone has flashbacks 
  
• shitty running his hands through it
  
• shitty moaning while he does this
• shitty growing out his own flow again
• it getting in jack’s way because he refuses to get a mullet (because bitty refuses to kiss him in a mullet)
  
• sex hair
  
• bedhead
• bitty pulling his hair
• shitty pulling his hair as a joke and he gets turned on
• bitty tweeting progress pics so the whole internet can follow 
  
• the blogs about jack’s hair
• jack putting it up in a lil bun during warm ups so it doesn’t get in his face
  
• jack constantly running his hands through his hair after games during the interviews and it’s Distracting
  
• people photoshopping bad bob with the flow because he never had one
  
• bad bob is jack for halloween and has this ridiculous Jagr wig and he’s so Extra
• during movember jack just looks like a sasquatch and it’s everyone’s favorite month
  
• when he can finally cut it again he gets an undercut as a joke and it’s like two years after the trend but he brings it back because fuck he looks good
  
• jack has the idea because he watches peaky blinders and thinks, i could have hair like that

so i have no self control so here are lil bun jack and undercut jack

halfabreath:

concept: Jack Laurent Zimmermann, professional hockey player and forward for the Providence Falconers, loses a bet and can’t cut his hair for a full year. imagine:

• the sheer flow
  
• how after the first three months his hair is the same length as it was in the Q and everyone has flashbacks 
  
• shitty running his hands through it
  
• shitty moaning while he does this
• shitty growing out his own flow again
• it getting in jack’s way because he refuses to get a mullet (because bitty refuses to kiss him in a mullet)
  
• sex hair
  
• bedhead
• bitty pulling his hair
• shitty pulling his hair as a joke and he gets turned on
• bitty tweeting progress pics so the whole internet can follow 
  
• the blogs about jack’s hair
• jack putting it up in a lil bun during warm ups so it doesn’t get in his face
  
• jack constantly running his hands through his hair after games during the interviews and it’s Distracting
  
• people photoshopping bad bob with the flow because he never had one
  
• bad bob is jack for halloween and has this ridiculous Jagr wig and he’s so Extra
• during movember jack just looks like a sasquatch and it’s everyone’s favorite month
  
• when he can finally cut it again he gets an undercut as a joke and it’s like two years after the trend but he brings it back because fuck he looks good
  
• jack has the idea because he watches peaky blinders and thinks, i could have hair like that

so i have no self control so here are lil bun jack and undercut jack

coffeelesbiann:

zimbits the proposal au

“I’m from Canada, for Christ’s sake!  There’s got to be something we can do,” Jack says, tapping his fingers nervously on his desk, his mind running through all the possibilities. He’s too busy thinking to really be listening, until

“Until this is resolved I’m turning this over to Chad R.”

“You mean that guy I just fired?”

“We need an editor in chief,” said Mr. Hall.  A few quick knocks on the door, and Bittle pokes his head in.

“Sorry to interrupt –”

“What?!” Jack snaps.

“George called, she’s on the line,” Bittle said.

“I know.”

“She’s on hold…” Bittle looked at the executive directors curiously. “She needs to speak with you.  I told her you were otherwise engaged.  She insisted, so… sorry.” Bittle started to close the door.

“Wait!” Jack said.

“Um… yes?”

“Come here, Eric.”  Jack’s tone was considerably warmer.  Bittle was suspicious, but started walking over to Mr. Zimmermann’s desk anyway.  “Gentlemen, I understand.  I understand the predicament we are in.”

“And?” said Mr. Hall.

“And there’s… well… something I think that you should know,” Jack replied. Bittle grew more and more nervous with every step he took towards Mr. Zimmermann’s desk. Jack stood up, and took Bittle’s hand.  His heart was in his throat; his emotions were some mixture of shock, terror, and confusion.  “We’re getting married.”  Mr. Zimmermann smiled at him.  Eric wondered if this was a dream; it was the first time his boss had actually smiled at him.  “We are getting married,” Mr. Zimmerman said again, this time with more confidence and enthusiasm.

“Who is getting married?” Bittle asked, eyes too wide open.

“You and I.  You and I are getting married!” Jack said.  Eric got his shocked expression under control, and realized he needed to just go with it; if he didn’t, his career was over.  He put on his biggest, sweet-as-pie Southern smile.

“We are.  Getting married,” he said to his boss.  He turned to face Mr. Hall and Mr. Murray.  “Yes,” he said, giving them a thumbs up, with the hand Mr. Zimmermann wasn’t holding.  He immediately realized how corny that was and instantly regretted it. But, Eric decided not to blame himself too much because he still barely had any idea as to what was going on.

“I didn’t even know you were… gay…” Mr. Murray said, expression half-awed, half-very, very confused.

“Isn’t he your secretary?” asked Mr. Hall, eyes narrowed.

“Assistant,” Eric reflexively corrected.

“Executive… assistant secretary,” said Jack, letting go of Bittle’s hand to put it around his shoulders.  The silence afterward hung heavy.  “So, yeah. We are just to people who never meant to fall in love, but did.”

When they exited the DeKalb-Peachtree Airport, Eric waved down their driver.

To Jack, the driver seemed… nice?  A little unsettling, but nice.  Maybe it was the mustache, maybe it was the fact that he’d been hitting on Jack for the whole taxi ride, or maybe it was because he insists on being called Shitty, as if that wasn’t weird.

crikey folks that got out of hand but there’s a starter for ya

but yeah shitty is definitely the driver/server/exotic dancer/priest/etc. and thats all i really know