#harry potter marauders

- heterosexuality

vixen345m:

‘What Is This?’ Part Two.

Part 1 Link

Reader x Poly Marauders

Contents: Abortion, Angst, Abusive Acts, Swearing, Sadness and way too much use of the word 'you’.

After 11 years of living there, someone knocked on your door

It was Albus Dumbledore.

*******************************************************

You were in noticeable shock and gasped.

'Fucking Hell’ You thought.

“Indeed Ms L/N” Dumbledore smiled.

“Don’t do that” you stated coldly.

“Ms L/N, I have an inquiry and would like to be let in.” He gave 'that’ look with his sparkling eyes.

Oh, but you knew that look all too well. It was the same look he gave you when you played a prank on Barty Crouch Jr. and he wanted information out of you.

“No. Say it now” you were not budging this time.

No one ever spoke to the old Professor that way and it was clear to see. He looked slightly alarmed but gathered his usual composure quickly.

“I want you for the Defence Against the Dark Arts Position and Hogwarts.” He still gave you his warm attitude.

You took several moments.

You had all this success and Fame… Why should you leave a relationship? The relationship in which for a fact you knew he was sleeping with other women… But your career, where most of your job was done because you did such a good job at your job… The Dog… That you were thinking of getting.

'Why am I staying?’ You questioned.

“September First I’ll start I suppose. And I want a big office none of those shitty corner offices… And I want a higher pay than the rest of the” you stated your wants clearly to the professor.

“Done and Done… Professor L/N” He smiled.

“Thank you… Sir” you shook his hand and quickly shut the door. With your back leaning against the closed door… For the first time in eleven years, you began crying. You mourned for the eleven years you spent without your boys. The life you could have had.

After a good half, an hour of crying you composed yourself.

It was August 30th 1995. Albus was a little late with the offer you had to say. But… A little part of you was excited. Life was slowly getting better.

Your bag had been packed for years now. That should have been the first sign to leave. But you were scared like always. You wrote a quick note to your boyfriend saying your goodbye and telling him how to sort all your affairs.

You left the apartment you have had for a decade. A decade of wasted useless memories… If you could even call them that.

The Leaky Cauldron is where you decided to reside. It was where you spent a lot of your teenage years with your ex-boyfriends.

Tom the owner recognised you immediately not for your fame but from when you were younger. It was a nice refresher.

Unfortunately the Jet Lag really got to you and you ended up sleeping for 36 hours. You were late for the grand feast at Hogwarts.

The feast started at 7:00 pm it was now 7:15 pm.

“Shit. Shit. Shit” you began quickly getting dressed and putting on your make-up with very useful enchantments.

You quickly grabbed your two suitcases and ran down the rickety old stairs.

“Bye Ms L/N” Tom the Owner gave you his famous welcoming smile.

“Nice seeing you Tom” you waved goodbye and quickly hopped into the fireplace and floo* away.

You arrived just outside the great hall where Filch was with his scrawny little cat.

'That Thing is still alive" You thought.

“Hey Filch” you gave him you cheeky grin.

“No, Not you it’s bad enough with the others” He snapped.

“Others?” You mumbled to yourself.

“Anyways, would you kindly take my luggage up to my room” You gave him a darling smile “and if you even try to open it will bite”

He grumbled and snatched the two cases off you.

You began making your way to the entranceway to the great hall when you heard a distant 'ouch’ from Filch. You chuckled to yourself knowing you still got it.

The doors were closed meaning you were going to have to make a dramatic entrance and not a quiet one like you hoped. You quickly took out your wand and swung the doors open with power.

The students and staff were greeted with an enormity of wind from the doors and you.

You made your way in boots clicking on the floor.

The hall was silent all eyes were on you.

Then there was a “HOLY FUCK THAT’S Y/N L/N THE AUROR” and the hall erupted into chatter.

Then you saw them. Remus, James and Sirius. Looking at you with mixed emotions of Shook, Anger and Sadness.

You greeted Dumbledore and he showed you your seat right beside Hagrid and… Remus.

’Fuck’

You promptly sat down not even acknowledging the werewolf beside you who was staring at you with all his might.

The chattering was still going on to which Dumbledore shouted 'SILENCE’.

Boom. The hall was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Now, Professor L/N is going to be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher so I think we should give her a proper welcome”

The whole hall erupted into applause but you didn’t stand up. You were used to standing ovations this was nothing you were not really bothered.

The clapping quietened down and everyone went back to their meals.

Hagrid made light conversation with you and offered you food around five times but you could!’t eat you felt sick with them around.

They all took turns glaring daggers at you.

You just remained staring at your lap the whole time.

“Erm Y/N-” Remus’ soft voice started.

You quickly got up from your chair,

“I think I am going to retire for the night, Goodnight Professor Hagrid” he nodded to you with a concerned smile and you quickly got up and left the room.

*******************************************************

It was the next day and you started your first lesson with First Years. They were all scared and new so it was easy to get things done and it was a quiet class. Next was a set of Fifth Years in which you threatened maybe too harshly so they were quiet for the rest of the lesson.

Now it was third years.

They were all filing in and about to sit down.

“Don’t sit down” you said flatly.

“Assort yourself Alphabetically statting with A’s at the front”. It took about three minutes for everyone to get into their seats which took a bit of shouting from you to get them to move faster.

You then went through the role.

“Pansy Parkinson”. “ Here, Professor”

“Parvarti Patil” “Here”

“Harry…”

'What the actual Fuck… THEY PROCREATED’ Your mind was racing.

There it read 'Potter-Lupin-Black’. This was going to be shit.

“Harry Potter-Lupin-Black” you repeated stiffly.

“H-here Professor” “Don’t Stutter. It lets your opponents know you’re scared” you gave him 'the look’.

He gulped and looked down.

You got on with the role and class began.

“So, what defensive spells do you know?” You asked.

No one put their hand up.

“Did you learn anything in the past 2 years?” You snapped in and the students all jumped.

A girl with curly brown hair put her hand up.

“Yes?” You questioned.

“Eh s-stu-”

“Don’t stutter” you cut her off.

She quickly composed herself not looking you in the eye.

“Stupify,” she said more confidently.

“Name?”

“Hermione Granger,” she said quickly still refusing to look you in the eye.

“Next?” You questioned.

Then the one you knew to be Harry put up his hand. There was no questioning that he was James’ son, He looked almost identical… Except for the eyes. You have seen them somewhere but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Go”

“The disarming spell,” he said proudly.

“And it’s name?” You questioned.

“Expelliarmus”

“Okay, any others?” You quickly moved off from him.

No one out their hand up.

“Are you serious? Does anyone know anything? Merlin’s saggy balls. Who was your teacher?” You wondered how they knew absolutely nothing.

“Eh… Professor Lockhart” a girl told you.

“That dumbass? No wonder?” You rolled your eyes.

“I think expelliarmus works quite well” Harry said.

“What?” You asked him

“It does is a really good spell… Do we need much more?” The boy questioned pathetically.

“Oh I’m sorry”

“What?” He asked looking confused.

“I’m sorry. Why don’t you get up here and teach the class? You seem to know quite a lot about disarming spells Mr Potter-Lupin-Black. I didn’t mean to impose on your magical ability.” You were harsh but it was necessary.

“I eh- erm”

“What did I say about stuttering?” You snapped “It seems the great Harry Potter-Lupin-Black thinks one can get through life by simply snatching someone’s wand! Believe me Harry there are much worse ways someone can threaten you without a wand. Ways your mindless brain couldn’t even comprehend. Do you think I got where I am today by simply disarming someone Potter?” You were now leaning over the poor boy giving him daggers.

“No… And it’s Potter-Lupin-Black” he looked down shamefully.

“It’s Potter in this class. And don’t you dare correct me again.” The class was in terror and the boy was shaking.

“Give me your wand Potter” you held your hand out to take it from him.

’“But prof-” he started to whine.

“Looks like your precious disarming spell might come in handy Potter. Give me the fucking wand” He quickly put the wand in your hand and you placed it on your desk

“You shall not get this back until you write a list of every defensive spell you can find in your textbook and library and write them all down with what their purpose is and the motion used. All of you will do it and it should be on my desk, next class” The class collectively groaned.

“Class is dismissed for the day” you waved them off.

“But professor the bell has not rung yet” the Granger girl said.

“I am the professor and what I say goes. Now, leave all of you!” You sort of shouted the kast bit and they all scattered out the class room.

*******************************************************

It was dinner time but you decided to skip out and start writing. You were writing a book on all your best wizarding battles in America.

You were sitting at your desk with the dim candlelight shining on your face accentuating your featured and Suddenly your door burst open with the three men you knew more than yourself came in.

You didn’t look up and kept writing.

“Threatening Our Son now L N” James snarled.

“Would have been nice of you to knock” you smirked to yourself still not giving them your full attention.

“Oh cut the crap L/N, You’re not impressing anyone” Sirius’s infamous voice rang in your ears.

“Wasn’t trying to, I think I am enough for all my adoring fans” you finally looked up at them and gave them a cheeky grin.

They hadn’t changed much in eleven years.

The three men stood there looking very tall and assertive.

Most of Remus’ scars had faded there were just one or two new ones. You knew every single scar on his body since you used to kiss each one after a full moon. He had some dark eyebags which wasn’t surprising since the full moon was only 2 days away.

Sirius had grown a beard which made him look older, mature and sexier. His eyes were still the same mysterious grey colour that at times you couldn’t stop looking at them. They consumed you.

James was still buff from quidditch. His hair was no longer as messy and as unruly as you remembered. He still had a mischievous glint in his eyes and smile lines embedded in his face from his famous 'Potter Smirk’ as Marlene McKinnon used to refer to it.

“See you’re still sitting on your fat ego” James smirked.

“Oh don’t worry Potter, couldn’t nearly compare to yours. Looks like you still have two bitches kissing your ass every night” you smiled which seemed to infuriate the three men more.

“Give me Harry’s wand” Remus spoke up in an angered tone.

“Oh no the big bad wolf is mad. Oh Please Remus don’t blow my house down after all I’m just an innocent little girl” you teased.

Sirius looked like he was about to pounce.

“Easy there mutt don’t want to go barking up the wrong tree, do we?” You were having the time of your life.

“We are all adults we can remain civil” James tried to calm the room.

“Not to worry Jamsie I won’t do nothing… Just having a little fun”

“Seemed to be having a lot of fun being a bitter bitch to my son? Jealous L/N” Sirius questioned.

“Your son can’t even rub two brain cells together to come up with a better spell than expelliarmus” you snorted.

“Typical L/N ignoring the question. I asked if you were jealous? Huh L/N. Oh I get it she’s scared again” You quickly pulled your wand out and pointed it right at him.

James and Remus quickly pulled out their’s.

“Say it fucking again Black. I dare you. I could do things that not even Grindlewald could fathom” you seethed.

“Look at you again. Putting up all these walls cause your scared. You act all tough with your top Auror position but deep down you are a scared little Bitch” He smirked.

“And you don’t fo the same thing Black? Hows Mummy?” You snarled.

“Okay, what crawled up your bitter arse and died?” He shouted.

“YOUR FUCKING CHILD” you screamed back and immediately realised what you said and clamped your hand over your mouth and gasped.

You couldn’t believe what you just said.

The room went deadly silent.

It was terrifying.

Then there was a burst of laughter from Remus.

Followed by the two other men.

You started laughing as well.

For the first time in years, you had a proper laugh.

The laughing went on for a good minute until it died down to a few chuckles. You were all wiping the tears from your eyes.

“Fucking hell” James sighed still laughing a little.

The room was in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“You are right” you admitted.

“What?” They all questioned at the same time.

“I am scared. I’ve been scared for the last thirteen years. I was scared for a child… Then I left and was scared to leave my stupid boyfriend and I am scared to face you.” You hated to admit it but ur was true.

“I’m sorry. Truly I am I don’t regret what I did though. I don’t want children. Never have and never will. I do regret leaving you though. But then at the same time, I don’t because I think you could have fought harder to find me. But you didn’t” you had tears in your eyes threatening to spill.

“It was better that you left anyways” Sirius said.

You knew what he was going to say the one thing you didn’t want to them to say but it was gojng to happen.

“We were cheating on you” There it was.

Deep down you knew it all along.

“How is Lily doing?” You asked. It was Lily it had always been Lily. They loved her first and she would always be first. The girl with emerald green eyes and flaming red hair. They told you not to worry about her but you knew and you were right. No matter who you were you would always be the second choice. Because why choose Y/N L/N when they can have Lily Evans.

“How di-”

“Wha-”

“This was a mistake” you stood up from your desk and walked to your room. You grabbed your suitcases not been unpacked yet. And grabbed your book from the desk.

“Tell Dumbledore I am sorry but something else came up” you stated flatley.

“Y/N-” Remus started but you cut him off.

“I refuse to be second choice again not with you or this job. He wanted you first and you refused… For the first time in my life, I’m not going to be second… Goodbye, My Loves, I’m sorry” With that you stepped into the fireplace and vanished in the flames.

*******************************************************

Harry came into the Potter-Lupin-Black household holding a book in his hand.

“Hey Look what I found in the Muggle Book shop” Harry came in and showed his three fathers.

It was a light lilac book, average size with gold accents.

On the cover, it read 'to my first choice, from your second - Y/N L/N’

I’M BACK LOVES!!!

sorry I went M.I.A. I am studying A lot because I have a Big Exam in June so yk. Also, I’m a lazy Bitch. Anyways you can now stop your enquiring about when will Part Two be out. It’s here now also on April Fool’s Day it’s not a joke though I promise. Also Happy Birthday to the Weasley Twins who are both very alive and well. Sorry for the like Year-long wait.

See you guys later xx

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smaathangi1209

@ashlovesthemarauders@jj33411@that-simp-sin@gugggu6gvai@yourslytherinshorty@kales-g@marauders-wifey@lookingforkay@lendeluxe

@mrskatpotter

Regulus Black 

Summary:  After your family abandons you for falling in love with Regulus, the two of you are on your own until it comes time to deflect to the other side. Now that certain secrets are out and you are forced to be under James’ watchful gaze it’s time to determine if family ties can ever be once again fully mended.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: Mature 

AO3 Link 

_____

It was another Tuesday. Another order meeting that so many members felt was becoming pointless. It felt as if they were getting nowhere and Voldemort was getting more ahead with each passing day.

“We have some good news for once.”

Moody grumbled as everyone took their seats. No one dared to say anything for a moment as “good news” did not happen often. It seemed bad news was all that any member of the order was entitled to. Dorcas had been killed a week before and was laid to rest the day before the current meeting.

“Do I dare ask what kind of good news are being privy to?”

Sirius asked. He didn’t want to bury another childhood friend. Hell, he didn’t want to bury anybody but funeral and burial seemed like just another occurrence….and he hated it. Moody nodded curtly as he leaned back in his chair.

“It seems Voldemort is taking up some darker magic than we expected…”

“Well, that sure is some good news.”

James grumbled from his place beside Lily. Moody shot him a dark look before continuing.

“If you lot can keep your opinions to yourself for a moment that would be great. As I was saying, Voldemort has apparently taken up making Horcruxes.”

No one in the order made a pleased as punch face upon hearing this information. Sirius leaned back in his chair muttering a quiet “fuck.” He wasn’t sure how Moody considered this good news but here they were.

“With this knowledge, we at least have a method of getting on upon him. I currently have someone working on tracking and a method of destroying the shit.”

Moody continued. James poked a hand up. He wasn’t about to interrupt Moody twice in one night and get hexed.

“How exactly do we know this is happening and who is working on this?”

Moody leaned back in his chair. He knew the next few moments were going to be some of the tensest moments in some time.

“We have someone from Voldemort’s side on our side now.”

No one dared say anything for a moment. Someone deflecting from the death eaters was unheard of. No one was brave enough to. It would have been suicide.

“Dare I ask who it is?”

Marlene commented. Moody stood up and walked to the door. The room was silent as the grave until the moment Regulus Black stepped in with you at his side. James, Sirius, and Lily’s mouths dropped. This was the last thing they EVER expected to happen! The last time that James had spoken to you was the night that you told him that you loved Regulus and were marrying him. After one hell of an argument, James said that he would never speak to you again and you replied with a “fine if that is what you want.” Now here you stood looking just as you had the last time that James laid eyes on you.

“How can we trust them?”

Marlene snapped. Moody turned to the nervous-looking young woman.

“Because I don’t think if Regulus handing over a Horcrux would have happened.”

“He gave you one?”

Sirius commented. He was surprised that his own voice worked. Seeing his little brother in the same room was a bundle of emotions. Sirius was going between furious, heartbroken, and thrilled.

“Yes, I gave him one.”

Regulus said in his neat as a pin eerily calm voice. Moody motioned to the chairs at the table as Regulus wrapped one hand around yours and limped to the seats. Sirius watched quietly a moment before curiosity got the better of him.

“What happened to you?”

Regulus’ cold eyes rolled up to his brother. This would be the first time that the two brothers had spoken in years.

“I almost had my leg ripped off by an inferi trying to get the Horcrux. I don’t recommend it.”

Sirius sat back in his chair as the realization that Regulus was the one that discovered the Horcrux hit home. It wasn’t just him learning information. Regulus had put the puzzle together and gone after the cursed item himself.

You sat quietly at Regulus’ side. When stepping into the room, you glanced at your older brother for a brief moment before looking away. Seeing James was yet another painful reminder of being abandoned because you fell in love with the wrong boy.

“Why would you want to help us?”

Marlene asked, genuinely curious. It had been no secret to the order that Regulus Black was a death eater. In fact, it was information that nearly sent Sirius around the twist when he found out. It had taken James, Remus, and Lily to convince him to not go after his brother and shake some sense into him.

“Because you lot have no idea what you are dealing with nor do you know what you are getting yourselves into. Right now, everyone is grabbing something of value and heading for the hills. If you want to stop Voldemort then this is the way….this is the only way. You can believe what I’m telling you or don’t…it will be your funeral.”

Regulus commented as James turned to you.

“Y/n, is he telling the truth?”

“We wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t.”

You replied. It felt strange talking to James. Hearing him say your name was thrilling yet painful at the same time. It made you feel, if even for a brief moment, as you had as a child. You had an older brother who loved you and wanted to see you do well in life.

“I don’t know why you would bother asking me though. I’m as bad as he is…in your eyes.”

You added. Regulus’ eyes flickered to you. The two of you were in agreement that neither party wanted to be involved with the order. Neither of you wanted to deal with the questioning and judgmental gazes but this was the only choice that you had. This was the only way to get rid of a madman that no one would have the knowledge of knowing how to kill.

James meanwhile ran a hand over his face.

“That’s not true.”

Regulus turned his attention to James. He would have been fine with going over and kicking James in the face or hexing him to kingdom come. Regulus had been the one that cared for you the past few years. He had been the one to see you go through inner hell because your family wanted nothing to do with you any longer. It had all been him. Now here sat big-headed James-fucking-Potter acting as if he were some typical older brother and was talking to you as if it were any other day.

James wasn’t there when you didn’t get an invitation to his and Lily’s wedding. He wasn’t there when you read the birth announcement in the Daily Prophet about their kid’s birth and cried for days. That was all Regulus. He was going to make god damn sure that James never hurt you again.

“Denial at its finest.”

Regulus commented. James turned to Regulus.

“What are you talking about, Black?”

Regulus shrugged before sneering at James.

“Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Potter. You haven’t spoken to your sister in years. None of you have. You call yourself friends? None of you have had anything to do with Y/n from the moment that she agreed to marry me. If you were any kind of brother, you would have dealt with it because I make your sister happy. With friends like the lot of you who honestly needs enemies.”

You wrapped your hand around Regulus’. The last thing that you wanted for him at the moment was to get too worked up. Since the incident with the inferi, Regulus’ had been permanently injured. His legs had never healed properly and he seemed weakened by the position that he was forced to drink. Since the incident, you had taken it upon yourself to care for him. Regulus had cared for you when you had no one; now it was your time to be the good wife and make sure he was well cared for in return.

James meanwhile was staring at the two of you with wide eyes. He wanted to make a comment. James wanted to call Regulus a sister stealing git who turned her to the dark side but he didn’t. Partially because Lily was squeezing his hand so tightly that he was about to lose circulation and also if he wanted to make any progress with you smarting off to your husband would probably be a shitty way to start.

“Okay, let’s just stop. We are all on the same side. Yeah, we have questions but insulting each other is getting nowhere.”

Remus commented from his place at Sirius’ side. Sirius had seemingly forgotten about his ability to speak as he stared at Regulus.

“He’s right. I don’t have the ambition to listen to family drama.”

Moody grumbled before continuing the meeting as if nothing happened. As far as Moody was concerned, the lot of you could work out your own issues when he was no longer there.

Once the meeting was over Moody turned to Remus.

“Sirius and yourself are to keep an eye on them.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow as Remus shrugged. Remus was not about to argue with Moody. It would get him nowhere.

“Keep an eye on us?”

Moody nodded coldly.

“You heard me right. I’m not saying that we don’t trust you but we don’t trust you. You have to earn that. The Horcrux is a good place to start but you both have a long way to go.”

Regulus clenched his jaw as all of the order members minus James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, and yourself sat at the table. Moody turned on his way to the door.

“Fix your shit and get over it. We don’t have time for family drama.”

No one said a word for a few moments. It was as if everyone was just waiting for someone else to say a word. Finally, Sirius decided to say something.

“So the inferi tried to turn you into a pretzel?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. He wanted to say that he was happy to see his older brother but he wasn’t. Regulus was still bitter at Sirius for choosing the Potters over him. Leaving him in the horror house known as Grimmauld Place with expectations that Regulus never wanted was a poor way to be left.

“Something like that.”

Regulus replied. A silence fell over the room again.

“How’s mum and dad?”

Sirius asked. Regulus rolled his eyes for the 100th time.

“Mum is insane as always and dad is dead.”

“You seem so bothered.”

James muttered. Regulus turned to James with a dark look.

“We don’t all have lovely cozy relationships with our parents, Potter. Some of us have to deal with abuse and unfortunate abandonment. When dad had his heart attack that was another peaceful moment for me.”

Sirius winced. He knew that Regulus and Orion never had a great relationship. Regulus was the son that Orion never wanted and Orion was the father that Regulus was forced to deal with.

“What happened to him?”

Sirius asked. He had never heard exactly what happened to his father. There was an obituary (Where Sirius of course wasn’t mentioned) but no cause of death listed.

“He had a heart attack playing golf.”

Regulus replied. He couldn’t help but smirk at the look of confusion on his elder brother’s face. This was probably the last thing that Sirius ever expected to hear. In Regulus’ mind, Sirius was probably expecting Walbruga to poison him. That’s what Regulus would have thought would be the cause of Orion Black’s death if he wasn’t involved with the family any longer.

“I’m sorry but golf? Like muggle golf? Dad did realize that was a muggle thing right?”

Sirius question, feeling beyond confused. Regulus again nodded as if this was no weird conversation. To Regulus, this was just facts.

“I can’t say why he was investing time in that hobby. Mother thinks it has something to do with some skirt he was chasing. Anyway, there was a swan that dad thought looked at him weird….”

Sirius couldn’t help it but he started laughing interrupting Regulus.

“Merlin help me…a swan? What?”

Regulus blinked coldly.

“Yes, a swan. Apparently, it honked at him and dad decided to whack it with the golf club except his plan backfired. He had a heart attack and the swan lived.”

Sirius couldn’t help the laughter that came out of him. This was possibly the funniest thing that he had heard in some time. Even with Regulus, being as inanimate as inanimate could be, it was the funniest thing that Sirius had heard.

“Damn, all of those years mum spent trying to kill him and he was offed by a swan.”

Regulus wished that he could have laughed. He wished that he could have said that he found it amusing (because it was) but he couldn’t. Regulus couldn’t bring himself to show too much emotion around the people in front of him. Maybe in time, when he learned to trust them, he could but for now, all of his walls were up.

“We would like to be shown to a room. While this conversation has been amusing, Y/n and I are both tired.”

Lily got up quickly.

“We have a guest room upstairs. Dinner should be ready in an hour or so.”

Your heart ached to look at Lily and hear her voice. She had been the sister-in-law that you had always wanted. Hearing her talk brought back the same old wounds as hearing James and Sirius’ voices.

“Thank you.”

You replied as Regulus stood up. Neither of you said another word before leaving the room. Maybe in the coming months, you would find a way to heal old wounds but today was not that day.

The moment the bedroom door closed behind you, Regulus limped to the bed and sat down. You moved to sit beside him.

“Well, here we are.”

You said, keeping your voice down.

“Yes, here we are. Do you hate this as badly as I do? I feel like all of their eyes are upon us like a herd of wild jackals and we are the prey.”

You moved to sit on Regulus’ lap. Snuggling your face against his shoulder, you wanted to disagree. You wanted to say that they were just being careful and everything would smooth out but you couldn’t. Neither of you knew how long this feeling of “being under the microscope” would last. It could be a week, a month, a year, or even the rest of eternity.

“I hate it too, Reggie. I suppose we should get used to being looked at the way we were because it isn’t going to stop until they trust us.”

“Which could be the 12th of never.”

Regulus grumbled. He was again quiet a moment before focusing his attention on your pretty face. Regulus hated seeing you look so down and depressed. He hated it even more that he was the cause you were this way. If he hadn’t agreed to be a death eater, you would never had lost contact with your family. You would never have had to feel so alone and abandoned…but here the two of you were.

“Do you regret it?”

He asked. You frowned turning to look at your husband curiously.

“Regret coming here? We didn’t really have a…”

“No, Y/n. Do you ever regret marrying me? You could have had something different. Your family would have never done you the way that they did.”

You quickly leaned forward and pressed your lips to Regulus’ silencing him for a moment. When you leaned back he gave you a small smile that he reserved only for you.

“Regulus, I regret nothing. I married you because I love you. I’m exactly where I want to be…well maybe not in this room being judged by our siblings but I’m with you. If I didn’t want to marry you then I would have said no. As far as my family…I suppose it shows that the Potters aren’t so damn perfect after all. They made their choice just as I made mine….and I don’t regret anything.”

Regulus nodded before leaning forward and kissing you again.

“I’m sure all of this will end up alright…somehow. Your safety is worth being stuck in a house full of idiots that I despise. Maybe it doesn’t have to be so horrible. We’ll keep to ourselves and mind our own business.”

You moved to make sure the door was locked before pulling your dress over your head to change.

“Minding our own business is a great idea. Let’s see how long it takes one of us to go off on the lot of them. I say a day.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow before smirking.

“You are more generous than I am, love. I say an hour.”

You moved to join Regulus back on the bed.

“At least we have each other.”

Regulus wrapped a hand around yours and squeezed gently.

“For eternity”

____

@amelie-black@f4iryluvy@vixen@realgaytrash@jessyballet@knreidy1@georgeweasleydumbhoe@justfinishthis@pan-pride-12@regulusblackswhorecrux@missgorldafirst@saramaple@i-love-scott-mccall@padf00ts-l0ver@readtomeregulus@goldensunshineshit@haroldpotterson@taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me@aurorasnape12@eclipsejune@quinis@mentally-unstable-hoe@yousmellikecaca@gugggu6gvai@jag9000@buttercup-beeee@raininghearts@fangirlforever2412@dumybitch@play-morezeppelin@ravenhood2792@mimisparkle12@teletubiswszpilkach@siriuslyceleste@acciosiriusblack@rubyroscoe1@bennyberry@whymyparentscheckmyphone@criminalyetminimal@spideyxalmighty@lucasfilms77@moonythemilf@melaninnbarbie@brokencasbutt67-writer@authoressskr@moldy-old-boot@hankypranky@summer-novak@shaylybaby2032@emiwrites3reads@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts@knight-of-gleefulness@sprnaturallover@deanwherescas@untoldshortsofthefandoms@shitfaceddaniel-blog@mycuddlycorner@marichromatic@fific7@wontlookaway

Regulus Black AU 

Request:  hey there love! i’d like to request a Hufflepuff! reader x regulus story where Regulus and the reader are dating but Reg keeps it as a secret because he doesn’t want it “ruining his reputation” The rest is up to you.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: Teen 

AO3 Link

_____

Another day, another secret…

You thought miserably as you plopped down in front of James and Sirius. Both boys looked up at you curiously. Over the past few months, both boys had noticed a change in your usually sunny disposition. You had gone from happy-go-lucky to moody and grumpy with little to no explanation of what was going on.

James gave Sirius a shrug. He was half considering bringing the subject up to Remus whenever he got out of the hospital. As your older brother, Remus probably had an idea about what was bothering you.

Sirius gave James a grin before speaking.

“Don’t you look like a ray of absolute sunshine this morning?”

You barely looked up when Sirius made a sarcastic comment. In fact, you didn’t comment at all. Neither James nor Sirius would understand what you were dealing with anyway. Why would they? Neither of your brother’s friends had to hide their relationship or feel like some dirty secret. No, that was all you. You were the one that was being treated as if you weren’t good enough.

Glancing across the grass, your eyes locked on Regulus who was quietly talking to Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr. It took all you had not to march up to your boyfriend of a year and end it all…but you wouldn’t. You loved Regulus and that was what led to your current position.

A year ago you agreed to be Regulus’ girlfriend. You had been crushing on Regulus for ages and now that he wanted to be your boyfriend you were over the moon. The only thing was it came with a catch. Regulus wanted to keep it secret. He didn’t want word getting out that he had a girlfriend. He had his “precious reputation” to protect and somehow you would ruin that.

If I had any kind of spine I would have told him to shove off but no…I was so desperate for love and attention I made this stupid agreement.

You grumbled in your mind. It didn’t matter how much you loved Regulus…at the moment you were ready to end things and go about your business.

“Hello…earth to sunshine…come in sunshine.”

Sirius’ obnoxious voice pulled you from your mind.

“Would you hush already?”

You snapped. Sirius and James both blinked awkwardly as they stared at you. It wasn’t often when you kicked off but here lately you were doing it a lot.

“Um…sorry? What has your knickers in such a twist? You are acting just like my grumpy brother over there.”

Sirius commented. You sighed and turned back to Sirius.

“I’m just not in the mood, okay?”

James decided to come in. He gave Sirius a look that said “my turn.”

“Want to tell us what is bothering you so bad? It’s not often that you see Hufflepuffs so grumpy and snapping. Is it because Remus is in the hospital? He’ll be out in a day or two.”

“It isn’t about Remus.”

You replied, coldly. James scratches his head as Lily sits down. She automatically realizes that you are in a hell of a mood. Lily had noticed, just like James and Sirius, that you were awfully moody lately.

“Y/n, are you okay? We are all really worried about you.”

“Just forget it.”

You grumbled before standing up and walking off. At the moment, you wanted to be somewhere by yourself. In your haste, you didn’t notice Regulus, Evan, and Barty all watching with curious expressions on their faces.

“Would you look at that? The little ball of happy sunshine is in a mood again.”

Evan commented with a chuckle. Barty quickly came in.

“She snapped on Flitwick the other day.”

“Too bad she is suddenly so moody. I was about to ask her on a date. Now I don’t think I even want to. I’m moody enough without help.”

Evan said as he moved to lie backward in the grass. Regulus, meanwhile, was staying silent. He knew exactly why you were moody. You were pissed at him…not that he blamed you. On the last date, you had mentioned actually going public with the relationship and Regulus said no.

“At least you know yourself. I’ll see you lot later.”

Regulus commented before getting up and going in the opposite direction of you. He had an idea where you were headed but didn’t want to raise anyone’s suspicions.

Walking into the forest, Regulus only had to walk a few feet before seeing you sitting with a book open on your lap.

“I owe you for yelling at my brother. He looked totally stunned.”

You looked up from your book. Regulus stood a few feet away. You decided to take a few moments to respond. Instead, you only looked at your boyfriend.

Damn him and his perfect jaw line.

You thought before deciding to speak.

“Why are you here Regulus?”

Regulus let his bag fall to the ground before crossing his arms in that annoying way that made him look superior to all.

“I saw your little nasty scene back there and as your boyfriend, I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

You snorted. “Your boyfriend” funny way to put what the two of you were. At the moment, you couldn’t help but think about how much you “gave” to this relationship. In one year, you kept a massive secret from your brother and all of your friends. You respected all of Regulus’ boundaries. To you, Regulus was just some guy that you got to meet in secret to spend time with, snog, and sometimes hold hands with. He hated being touched and everything was on his terms. That you were totally fine with. If Regulus was uncomfortable with sex, holding hands, and kissing then you could respect his boundaries until he was comfortable. The key phrase was you did everything.

Regulus never initiated dates. It was always you setting up everything and slipping him the notes. He didn’t notice when you were upset. In fact, he didn’t seem to care at all. You had to tell him how upset you were before he would acknowledge any pain you were feeling about whatever the subject of misery was. Regulus would then dismiss whatever you were upset about with an “I’m sure it isn’t as bad as it seems.”

Maybe I need to talk to him?

You thought. The relationship seemed to be you giving and Regulus just taking. Something needed to be “given” in your favor.

“Boyfriend…right.”

You commented before getting up and starting to walk away. Regulus reached out and grabbed your arm to stop you then promptly let you go.

“What’s with you? Are you still mad about our relationship?”

Regulus asked, his voice becoming colder by the second. You sighed. It was now or never. You needed to let him know how you felt because he clearly wasn’t going to figure it out on his own.

“I don’t think that we really have one.”

Regulus looked a bit confused. To him, the relationship was perfect. He had you all to himself for periods each day. Regulus didn’t have to worry about his neurotic mother getting involved and throwing a fit over your half-blood status. Regulus could keep his reputation for the purebloods but have a safe place with you.

“Yes, we do. We don’t shove it in other people’s faces and be obnoxious about it.”

“I’m not allowed to tell anyone about it.”

You replied. Regulus again looked confused.

“I don’t understand why you want everyone to know so badly. One person finds out and it will be like wildfire. People will be expecting things that neither of us wants…why deal with all of that?”

You stood silently a moment making Regulus question if you heard him.

“You don’t want anyone to know because my blood status is an embarrassment to you. Just like me having a brother that is a werewolf would be an embarrassment for you. The great Regulus Black dating some filthy half-blood with a werewolf brother…how scandalous would that be? Let’s face it, Regulus we are both just wasting our time with all of this. Nothing will come of it anyway. We will graduate and you will marry some pureblood girl…and to hell with whatever happens to me.”

Regulus’ face was livid.

“You know nothing of what will happen in the future.”

“It’s kind of obvious, Regulus. Look at your family. Do you think your mother will ever be accepting of me? No. You won’t do anything to displease her.”

“That’s not true.”

Regulus said in a soft voice. You snorted, laughing bitterly for a moment.

“Yes, it is! That is all you do! You do nothing but please her. If it wasn’t true then you wouldn’t have kept me as some dirty secret for a year. We wouldn’t have to be acting like your brother and snogging in the hallways. I would have respected your boundaries until you were comfortable approaching them. We could have been just like we are now but no. You won’t do it because your family won’t approve. I’ll never be good enough for you or them. I’ll see you around.”

You moved to walk past Regulus again and again he reached for your hand.

“Y/n, please… it’s not what you think.”

“Stop lying to me and yourself, Regulus. We both deserve better than that. Now as I said…I’ll see you around. Good luck with whatever pureblood princess you end up with.”

This time Regulus didn’t stop you. He stood looking like the lost puppy that had been kicked too many times and now did not know how to reciprocate love watching as your form grew smaller and smaller in the thick woods.

You knew that you would probably regret your decision when you cooled off but at the same time, you also deserved better. No one deserved to be someone’s dirty secret because they didn’t know how to tell their family about them. You deserved better and for once you needed to think about yourself.

Taking a breath you stopped and leaned against a heavy tree. You partially were listening to see if Regulus was trying to catch up with you. As expected, you heard silence. No birds, no trees moving in the wind…just complete and utter bone-chilling silence.

“And that is how my first love ended…”

_____

@amelie-black@vixen@realgaytrash@f4iryluvy@pan-pride-12@regulusblackswhorecrux@saramaple@missgorldafirst@i-love-scott-mccall@padf00ts-l0ver@readtomeregulus@goldensunshineshit@vaultoffaults@haroldpotterson@taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me@buttercup-beeee@gugggu6gvai@jag9000@yousmellikecaca@mentally-unstable-hoe@aurorasnape12@eclipsejune@quinis@justfinishthis@fific7@georgeweasleydumbhoe@acciosiriusblack@jessyballet@knreidy1@raininghearts@dumybitch@ravenhood2792@play-morezeppelin@fangirlforever2412@siriuslyceleste@mimisparkle12@teletubiswszpilkach@whymyparentscheckmyphone@criminalyetminimal@bennyberry@rubyroscoe1@moonythemilf@spideyxalmighty@lucasfilms77@brokencasbutt67-writer@authoressskr@moldy-old-boot@hankypranky@summer-novak@shaylybaby2032@emiwrites3reads@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts@knight-of-gleefulness@melaninnbarbie@untoldshortsofthefandoms@deanwherescas@sprnaturallover@shitfaceddaniel-blog@wontlookaway@mycuddlycorner

A little goodbye

Chocolate, the best solution to everything

Gossip before the disaster

moonysteaa:

remus is the moon, sirius is a star and james is the sun

Totally agree

Sirius: You look weird when you don’t wear your glasses.

James: Oh, really?

James: Well, I think you look way better when I don’t wear my glasses.

Sirius: Thanks, man!

Sirius: … wait!

IG||@bookloving_wisegirl

Cis/het people will never understand the feeling of wondering if you want to be with or want to be someone. And then the realisation that it’s both.

Sirius telling stories about his time at hogwarts to Fred and George during the summer spent in grimauld place in book five

Fred: do you have any stories about good parties?

Sirius: oh yeah loads. My favourite one is about James’s 16th birthday. So the party was going great. I’m standing in the common room and I’m holding a fire whisky bottle, you’ve been to the hogs head. And I’m standing there, and I’m holding a firewhiskey and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like: “something, something McGonagall!” And in a brilliant moment of word association I yelled “fuck McGonagall!” “Fuck Mcgonagall!"And everyone else joined in.

A hundred drunk white children yelling: "fuck Mcgonagall” with the confidence of guys who have like already been to azkaban And aren’t afraid of it anymore. You know that like “I served my time, you come and take me” confidence.

But white children the reason someone had said: “Something, something Mcgonagall” was because Mcgonagall were there. So she walked through the portrait hole and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling “Fuck Mcgonagall” in her face

And she was almost impressed. She was like: “wow”

And then she cast a patronus and told it: “get the the other teachers”. And James, who was a father, this man had a baby, he grabbed a butterbeer, smashed it on the ground, and yelled “scatter!”

But everyone ran in a different direction. We all ran in different directions. It was like in the great hall when the slytherins come in the room and all the other students go in different ways.

We all ran in different directions. I ran out of the common room and I jumped into a secret passage that led me to the second floor and I crawled through a window and jumped down onto the grass and now I’m running through the greenhouses and there’s this big devil’s snare.

And I thought “I’ve never dealt with a devil’s snare that big before.” And then I woke up in my dorm.

{So after i read all the young dudes i was obviously wrecked and i wanted to change the ending so it didnt hurt as much. I dont think you need to read ATYD to read this (i am kida taking it as canon) but if you haven’t you really should. Anyway the chapters vary in veiwpoint and this one is from Lily’s. Enjoy :) }

Chapter 1 (read here on Ao3. i think i have like four chapters posted now)

She heard the scream from her husband

She had heard the scream from her husband and the cruel words the monster had sneered at him and the flash of green had shone through the entire house but she couldn’t let herself think about it. She would later. If there was a later.

Instead she had to focus on her son.

She held the boy close to her chest, tears streaming down her face, before placing him in his crib.

She could hear the footsteps of the man walking through the house, the charms for changing the layout only slowing down the inevitable.

Her voice shook as she whispered to Harry that she loved him. That his father loved him. That Sirius and Lupin loved him. She was about to say Peter but then realised that he must have given the information to Voldemort. Anyway it didn’t matter now.

She told her son how much he was loved by her and his father and their friends. And how much his grandparents would have loved him. How much anyone who met him had loved him.

Then the door flew open and ‘he’ stood there.

She pleaded with him. Pleaded and pleaded but green light shot towards her and the world went black.

She had visions in that darkness. Visions of her son and her husband. Of her friends and her family. Happy ones to start. Memories of days in Hogwarts spent by the lake. Of days before Hogwarts when tuney had been kind to her and Severus had been a good person. Of her wedding day and the day Harry was born. But slowly they turned darker. Memories of Harry crying. her friends arguing. Of her and James arguing. Meetings about the war. Severus and Petunia cursing at her. Hearing the lists of the dead which had grown longer everyday. Seeing the corpses at the funerals. Seeing Marlene lying so still. Hearing the thud of James hitting the floor.

Then darkness crept in again and she saw nothing more.

When she awoke she couldn’t see anything. She was lying on something hard, perhaps a large rock and there was wind whistling loudly and the sound of waves crashing somewhere near. She shivered and peered into the darkness.

She felt hollow. She hadn’t a clue what had happened and where she was. She supposed she was dead but she felt very cold and she was definitely corporeal as she could feel herself and the rock she was on.

As she waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness she tried to use her magic. No luck. Not that she had expected there to be a result as she had died far away from her wand. Well, had she died?

Lily Potter had always been a quick and logical thinker. One of the things that had set her so apart from her husband and that had held her back when she started liking him was that she would think things through carefully and try and come up with the best solution to a problem whereas James would rush straight into things without giving a second thought to the matter. At first she had struggled with that but had eventually realised that his need to protect his loved ones, that often hindered his thoughts was what would keep them safe during the war. At any rate he wasn’t as nearly so reckless as his best friend. That was something at least.
As she was sitting in the dark thinking about this Lily wondered how Remus could deal with being with sirius. Knowing that the man’s recklessness and impulsiveness had put both of them in danger so often. Yet Remus is always stuck by him.

Thinking of her friends had helped Lily calm down. But then she remembered that her husband was dead and her son probably was too and she melted down into tears.
Light drops of water at first. Just enough to coat her lips with salt before she was sobbing loudly and uncontrollably.

After a few seconds of sobbing loudly someone from somewhere in the darkness asked

“Is someone there?”

She would have recognised that voice anywhere and despite the situation she grinned happily.

“James?” She asked, not caring that he couldn’t be speaking, that he was dead.

“Lils!” James shouted, the relief in his voice obvious. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I think so. Nothing really hurts. Are you OK?”

“Yeah. What happened? Where are we?”

“I don’t know darling. But he’s got Harry. I’m sorry I tried to hold him off but he cursed me. I thought I was going to die. I thought…. I thought he killed you” The tears started again as she tripped over her words.

“Darling it’s alright. You did everything you could and obviously I’m not dead.” He joked, a bit of humour in the dank place they were in cheering Lily up immensely.

They tried to find each other by following their voices but they came to the conclusion that they were trapped apart from each other. They tried magic again and again. Spells for light. For letting people know where you were. For help. For heat. Even patronuses but nothing worked. So they gave up and talked to each other through the darkness.
Hours later, or at least what Lily thought to be hours later James drifted off to sleep and she sat in the silence listening to his snoring. She must have fallen asleep soon after and she woke up with a dim light shining through the room.

She could see it more clearly now. Cavernous with tall ceilings and rough walls. There was a gate of sorts at one end of the room,enclosing her. A thin slit in the wall gave way to light behind it and she could hear seagulls screeching over the sound of the waves.

James was awake too and his cell, for want of a better word, faced Lily’s. They were so close. Barely a meter and a half between the two sets of bars and when they stretched their arms through their fingertips scraped each other.

If they strained their ears and tried to listen past the deafening waves they could hear screaming coming from far above them.

Food and water appeared in their rooms three times that day and they ate in silence, so rare for the two of them. So rare that it was just the two of them. Whilst in hiding they had barely a moment together without Harry and before that there were always friends, usually Sirius and Remus spending time with them.

In between meals they talked. They tried to figure out where they were and what had happened to them. They also tried to assure each other that Harry would be OK but neither of them really believed it. However if the unspeakable had happened neither of them would have been able to face it and they both cried themselves to sleep that night.
The next day the sound of the waves disappeared for awhile and the screaming above them stopped as loud shouts and jeers sounded through the hall and cells they were in.

And those shouts were what led James to his theory of where they were.

They were sitting in silence a few days later when Lily suddenly felt very cold and she shivered. Dark memories and thoughts infiltrated her mind and she looked over at James who had started to cry.

Then the feeling was lessened and James jumped up with a triumphant laugh.

“Lils! I figured out where we are!” He said gleefully.

“Where?”

“Azkaban!” He said, the happiness in his voice fading.

“What? How?” She asked incredulously.

“I don’t know how we got here but it just seems the most likely outcome. We know we’re in a castle near the sea. We know that there are other people in this place who are being tortured or something and we both keep on getting periods where we feel terrible. So dementors possibly. ”

Lily didn’t know what to make of this other than admiring her husband’s thought process.

This revaluation didn’t help the two of them much however perhaps it calmed them a little to know where they were and shake off some of the uncertainty.

Over the next few days they could hear more shouting and heckling coming from above but not as loud as from the second day.

And soon days must have passed into weeks and weeks must have passed into months. They tried keeping track by scratching tallies on the walls but they kept on having different answers.

They tried not to think about what might have happened to Harry or to their friends or what was going on with the war and instead they talked about memories. Happy ones usually especially that summer in Cornwall before everything went downhill. As more time passed they were starting to run out of things in their life to talk about so they started making up stories about different worlds.

Months stretched into what must have been years and any hope they might have had at the beginning of escaping or being rescued was scuppered. They had tried hundreds of times to escape but nothing worked and no one had come near them.

At a certain point talking and thinking about their friends was too much and they spoke very rarely of them if at all. They spent most of their time telling stories and surprisingly dancing.

Lily had never been amazing at dancing. Sure she could dance in a party in the gryffindor common room but that was about the extent of her talents. James however had been taking lessons his whole life.

In a suppressed memory, Sirius has taught Lily to dance for her wedding but she had resigned not to think of her friends and that memory had faded.
James taught her to dance in the prison. They would sing songs that they had played on Sirius’ record player in Hogwarts and music they had listened to after school and they would dance to the music together, waiting for when they could hold each other again.

So for years and years, they would tell tales from worlds they had constructed in their heads and they would dance and sing and scream until they fell asleep, their hands stretching towards each other through the barriers.

Lily; James can you help me with my zipper?

James; Sure.

Lily;

Lily; Up james!

James; Right. Sorry

Remus: look, we’re under the mistletoe. You know what that means (;

Sirius: moony that’s not mistletoe

Later that night

Sirius: [waking up at 3 am] oh my god, he was flirting with me

Lily:omg James is so annoying. I can’t believe im gonna sleep with him

Remus: well you don’t have to sleep with him.

Lily:nah I know but I’m still going to

Sirius:if being gay isn’t contagious then why do I have homosexual thoughts whenever I’m around Remus?

James:uhh…

Remus: how’s the most amazing person in the world doing today?

Sirius: I’m o-

James: (not reading the room) I’m great thanks for asking

I just finished “all the young dudes” after reading it for two days straight and fuuuuuuucccckkkk. It hurts!

Ok first of all. Its amazing! The writing is so good and the characterisation is on point. Wolfstar is portrayed so well and I ship them so much now.

James and lily were amazing in it as well as Mary and Marlene.

The plot(non canon) was so thought out and played off so well.

And yeah I did cry for the last like 15 chapters.

But I highly recommend it if you haven’t already read it.

- has the WORST insomnia

- never sleeps at night but always sleeping during the day

- you will never catch this boy awake in history of magic

- used to chain smoke but when he started dating lily, he stopped because he knew she didn’t like the smell of it

- sirius stopped smoking as well because he didn’t want to tempt james into smoking again

- bisexual king

- until the day he died, he would’ve been completely fine marrying sirius and even in the afterlife

- literally has the BEST friendship with sirius it’s not even funny like everybody is so jealous

- mother hen :’) 

- since he never sleeps at night, he’s always awake at the crack of dawn and is always waking the boys up with him

- “if i don’t see feet on the ground in thirty seconds, i’m opening the curtains!’

- “don’t you make me count to three, mister!”

- “sirius get out of the bathroom, peter needs to pee and he can’t hold it anymore” “you didn’t have to tell him that james!” “we’re all men here, peter, grow up and learn how to tell people you need to pee”

- super smart 

- loves the library but refuses to admit that he does

- once quoted shakespeare at lily and later, she told him it was one of the reasons she fell in love with him

- actually has really good sportsmanship

- like of course he gets super butthurt when he loses anything but he makes sure to tell the other player or players that they did a good job 

- literally the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet

- like he’ll hit your books out of your hands and then help you pick them up

- resorts to physical violence because “it gets the job done faster moony don’t lecture me”

- has punched snape before but only because he called sirius privileged and james was not having it

- has a toad at home

- never told anybody about the toad (her name is cecilia and he loves her very much) so when sirius moved in and saw the toad vibing on his window sill, he flipped his shit

- cecilia pees on sirius every time he picks her up but it never stops him

- james is sure sirius loves cecilia more than he himself does

- when remus and peter find out about cecilia, they also flip their shit

- cecilia becomes the marauders mascot

- lily finds out halfway through seventh year that they have a mascot and it’s a toad named cecilia and teases them endlessly about it

- also has a cat at home

- his name is sandwich (james named him when he was four) and he’s best friends with cecilia

- the potter family owl is named odessa (james calls her dessy) and she hates james but james loves her

- he had a crush on regulus in his fifth year and never told a soul. remus knew but didn’t say anything

- his friendship with remus :’)

- it was his idea to become animagi (he read about it in a book) and it was also his idea for the map

- he did a lot of the charm work on the map

- there were a lot of ‘hypothetical’ questions for flitwick during this time period and flitwick was all too happy to answer them

- took ancient runes and arithmancy from third year to seventh and made an O in both

- took divination in third year with sirius, remus, and peter but he was the hermione in that group

- while remus, sirius, and peter were like ‘alright i can dig it’ with divination, james was getting SO heated about it 

- for the remainder of their school career, he made sure to tell them all the flaws in divination at any chance he could

- lily was super into divination, though, just because she thought it was really interesting and there were too many instances of it being real to be counted as coincidences, and james literally almost imploded when he found this out

- when they heard the prophecy for the first time, james literally stood up and left lmao

- “i’m not believing some bullshit prophecy that tells me my son has to die at the hands of voldemort, lily!” “what if it’s not bullshit” “are you fucking shitting me right now lily”

- only agreed to go into hiding for lily 

- also took care of magical creatures from third to seventh year and also made an O in that

- when they learned about unicorns, the unicorn looked at all the girls in the class and then trotted past and stood in front of james

- james never stopped gloating about this ever

- “sorry what was that? i couldn’t hear you over the sound of being trusted by a unicorn” “a unicorn trusted me minnie why would i ever break the rules like that”

- didn’t actually mind slytherins

- was almost one himself and def wouldn’t have made a huge deal about it because euphemia was a slytherin when she went to hogwarts and he knew they weren’t all bad

- the only reason he never styled his hair was because his dad invented sleekeazy’s. that’s it, that’s the only reason. he did it to spite his dad.

- momma’s boy !!!

- until the day euphemia died, james was not embarrassed to hold her hand as they crossed the street and tell her he loved her

- could not fathom a world without his mother so when she died, he shut down for a good month and a half

- used to actually be afraid to curse

- said his first swear word in fifth year and never looked back

- “what the fiddlesticks” “for the love of all that is holy, just say fuck”

- “f-f-” “yes, you can do it” “i’m nervous”

- fleamont found out that he smoked when he was in his sixth year and he ripped him an entirely new asshole before pulling out his own cigarette and lighting it

- cannot hold his alcohol

- was drunk by the third butterbeer

- was destined to be the chill dad because his dad wasn’t

- yes you heard that right. euphemia was the chill parent. fucking deal with it.

- was an amazing liar purely because of fleamont

- like this boy could lie straight out of his ass the second he learned how to talk

- “james fleamont potter did you break this vase” “didn’t I tell you, dad? the manor’s got a poltergeist!” “we do?!”

- the manor did have a poltergeist but he didn’t know that at the time

- humble rich kid

- his house is huge but so is his heart

- sirius found out his middle name was fleamont when he moved in because fleamont yelled his full name SO often

- james hates that sirius knows his middle name

- sirius loves that he knows james’ middle name

- sirius and sandwich the cat have a silent feud going on that james fuels by privately telling both of them that they’re his favorite

- his actual favorite is cecilia

this got super long but still, feel free to add your own weird james headcanons!

sirius watches ratatouille and reverts to calling peter and remus ‘remy’ for the rest of eternity