#coping
It’s okay if coping skills don’t work right away, or if sometimes you try and they don’t work. Coping skills work better the more you use them, they become muscle memory but as you start to use them they're going to be hit or miss. And they’re never a magic bullet.
Don’t feel bad if you have to try something different either. Not every coping skills are going to work for everyone as well. No shame in trying multiple ways to cope.
Your trying and learning nothing has to be perfect.
For many people the holidays become more stressful times than happy times, and tomorrow can be one of the most dreaded days. Anxiety can run rogue as the whirlwind of guests and events get thrown at us, so I made a list of some of my favourite songs to use when I need to escape everyone
Giving Up The Gun- Vampire Weekend
Walking On Sunshine- Katrina & The Waves
You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid- The Offspring
I’m In Love With My Life- PHASES
All About the Pentiums- Weird Al
Joyriding- Frnkiero andthe Cellabration
Stay safe and sane everybody. Sending lots of love and hoping everyone’s holidays are enjoyable
Give your big feelings a timer:
Sometimes, I have feelings that I don’t fully understand. Why are they here, and what do they want? Instead of trying to reason with my feelings, I set a 20-minute timer and let myself BE that feeling; any safe expression is allowed, even crying. When my timer goes off, I transition back to my day with a neutral or positive activity (like washing my face or listening to a song I enjoy). Giving time to hard feelings seemed scary at first, but now I feel more free to listen and trust myself
staring into the bathroom mirror gripping the sink and telling myself “you are not uniquely horrible you are literally just some guy”
Sometimes self destruction feels like self care. Be mindful of whether your coping methods are actually helping you.
Ask yourself…
Does this coping method leave me with more problems than it solves?
Does this coping method put my health and/or safety and/or that of other people at risk?
Does this coping method drain away all my money? Or cause me to spend money I don’t have (or need to allocate towards other things like rent or groceries), or borrow from other people?
Does this coping method only distract me, leaving me with all my problems and feelings after the rush wears off?
Does this coping method damage or destroy any of my relationships?
Does this coping method keep people in my life that aren’t good for me?
Does this coping method have a negative effect on my physical and/or mental health?
Does this coping method jeopardize my ability to hold a job, or to get one? Has it already gotten me reprimanded, demoted, fired, etc.?
Does this coping method put me at risk of getting in trouble with the law? Has it already gotten me in trouble with the law?
Does this coping method harm myself, or others, or both?
Does this coping method make me act out my worst self?
Does this coping method make me feel guilty or ashamed?
Does this coping method diminish my performance at work or school?
Does this coping method keep me from my responsibilities towards myself and/or others?
Does this coping method come at the expense of eating, drinking water, bathing, sleeping, or other basic needs?
Does this coping method require me to neglect or betray myself and/or others?
Does this coping method cause me to neglect my family, my partner, my friends, my pets, etc.?
Does this coping method make me feel angry, sad, scared, etc. when I’m forced to do without it?
Does this coping method require people in my life to make extraordinary sacrifices for me?
Does this coping method cause people to worry about me?
Does this coping method jeopardize my ability to stay in my home? Has it already gotten me kicked out, evicted, or foreclosed?
Does this coping method make me feel even worse once the rush wears off?
Does this coping method cause me to snap at or get into fights with other people?
Does this coping method make my life worse instead of better?
Does this coping method keep me from actually solving my problems and working on myself?
Does this coping method feel like I’m doing something wrong? Do I feel the need to hide it or lie about it?
To be clear, this isn’t about hustle culture, or optimizing productivity at the expense of necessary rest and play. This isn’t about the glorification of busy. This is like…
* Do I need to give up an unhealthy coping mechanism and find healthier ways to cope with my feelings and problems?
* Do I need to distance myself from this person or group?
* Do I need to take a step back from the news, or social media for a while?
* Is this thing causing more problems for me than it solves?
* Is this job or career path costing me my well-being?
- The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
- The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
- The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
- The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
- The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
- The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
- The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
- The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
- The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
- The “put on a persona” method.
- The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
- The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
- The “wait for a trigger” method.
- The “do it for your future self” method.
- The “might as well” method.
- The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
- The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
- The “make it easy” method.
- The “junebugging” method.
- The “just show up” method.
- The “accept when you need help” method.
- The “make it into a game” method.
- The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
- The “trick yourself” method.
- The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
- The “let go of should” method.
- The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
- The “fork theory” method.
- The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.