Gays like two years ago: IPHONE EMOJIS ARE FOR STR**GHT PEOPLE!!! IF IM GONNA DIE >:( I DIE WITH GOOD OL FASHION H O N O R

Gays now: do you maybe Wanna ✨✨ come over and you know?? lmao or not hahah just kidding unless

Why tf can’t gay ppl just put their gotdam feet on the gotdam floor when they sit wtf are we afraid of are we constantly in a state of ‘the floor is lava’ and why can’t our brains register what is and is not a chair???? Why are we like that????

NO GUYS HELP MY MOM FOU ND MY SPOTIFY BUT THESE AREG RHE NAMES OF MY PLAYLISTSS AND SHE SAWW THEM M

very sad, very sad. why is he so perfect? why is he exactly what i’ve ever wanted? and for god’s sake why wwhY IS HE TAKEN GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT BREAK UP WITH UR PARTNER FOOL YOU STUPID BITCH CANT U SEE THE PERFECT ONE FOR YOU IS ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH

Height Difference

“Potter! Looks like puberty has yet to hit you at age 17?” Harry turned around to look at Malfoy, look up at Malfoy, “Still as short as you were when you were a mere firstie, aren’t you?”

Harry fought the blush coming up on his cheeks, he hated it when Draco teased him about his height. But it was inevitable, with it being one of Draco’s favourite taunts ever since they were dating. Draco was a half a head taller than him and he loved reminding him of it everyday. 

Pushing Draco further from him so their difference wouldn’t be so apparent, he resolved to find a way to grow taller than Draco, or at least lessen their height difference, they had magic for a reason right?

“Watch it Malfoy, your words might come back to bite you in the back!”

 /break\

Harry found himself being put on a vigorous routine by Hermione to facilitate his growth. Sleep at ten sharp and wake up at six, a full eight hours of sleep. Then, laps around Hogwarts ground, jump-roping, followed by a short session of yoga. His meals now contained a healthy portion of proteins, whole grains and vegetables.

He had a feeling that Hermione’s participation in his plan to increase in height was mreo out of motivation for him to shed the abuse from the Dursleys rather than spite Draco. But as long as the end result was that he could gloat about his new height in front of Draco, he didn’t mind and Hermione on his side was always helpful. 

He liked the routine too, it made him feel like there was something to look forward to each day, it helped him cope with the sudden red light the end of the war brought to him. Don’t get him wrong, Voldemort dying was great, but with the last year being filled with a marathon of one death threat after another, when everything stopped he felt restless. This was good for him, plus he was getting ripped.

/break\

A month and a half into this new muggle-wizard mixed routine and he was seeing progress already, mentally and physically. Harry Potter was no longer the scrawny boy who wandered into Hogwarts halls seven years ago, he had finally grown into his body.

Casting a spell to measure his height again, he sighed, looking at the same number that had been staring at him for the past week or so. Hermione had told him that the growth spurt would stop at some point of another, and he was fine with it, if the height he stopped at was taller than Draco. 

But luck was yet again not on his side, he was an inch shorter than Draco, which meant he needed at least two more inches to have a notable height difference than Draco. Damn.

Carrying his books, he set off towards the library, hoping to catch Hermione on one of her many visits there to ask for any more pointers that could help him gain the last few inches he needed.

“Harry! Wait!” Stopping in his steps towards the library, he saw Ginny coming out of the Gryffindor dorms. “ You’ve stopped growing.”

“ A very rude way to start a conversation, but yes thank you for pointing that out.” Harry replied, irritated that someone had pointed it out to him, was it that obvious?

Rolling her eyes at him, Ginny thrust a bottle of green liquid towards him, “ You’ve been trying to out grow Malfoy at height right? And I’ve kept an eye out for your progress, you haven’t grown at all in the last week.”

“Is there a point to this conversation or are you just going to continue upsetting me?”

“ This is a growth potion, it’ll help you gain like two, three inches instantly. That’s what you need right? A few more inches to be taller than Malfoy?”

“Why do you have this? Why didn’t Hermione give it to me first place?”

“ It isn’t exactly the best option to go for, the Ministry banned it some time ago. There’s an ingredient inside that might cause hallucination if you have too much of it. That’s why it was banned. People wanted to grow taller desperately and over-consumed, But you won’t do it, yeah?”

“ Yea…yea, i survived Voldemort… I’m not dying because of some stupid potion. But why?”

“ Harry, you’re like a brother to me and now that you’re dating Malfoy, I can’t directly assault him. So this is me, assaulting his ego through making you taller than him, like a side ‘fuck you’!”

/break\

He paced in the abandoned classroom he had asked Draco to meet him at. After ingesting the potion Ginny had given him and marvelling at the effects it brought, he had immediately asked Draco to meet him here to gloat.

He couldn’t decide on the one-liner to use to show-off his new height, there were just so many options. But apparently he didn’t have time to make a choice, Draco had arrived. And without a solid line to go on, Harry decided he would just stand and let Draco stare.

And stare Draco did, Draco stared up at him, a memory that Harry needed to possess forever. But he didn’t seem too bothered by the fact that Harry was taller than him, in fact Draco maintained that same ol in infuriating smirk on his face, sauntered over to him and planted a firm kiss on his lips.

Leaning down into the kiss, Harry marveled at the need to lean down to kiss Draco, but he was confused, why wasn’t Draco more concerned with the new difference in height?

Slightly reeling from the spectacular kiss he was given, Harry watched doe-eyed as Draco pulled a potion out from his pockets?

The potion was green and looked exactly liked the one Ginny had gifted him. No, no,no. He watched horrified as Draco gulped down the potion and grew exactly three inches taller. 

No.

No fucking way. 

“ You really thought that you could be taller than me Potter?” Draco’s smirk seemed to grow larger as Harry had to look up him again, “ I had a back-up plan all along, I overheard Ginerva’s plan to give you the potion and decided that it would be smart to have one myself.”

“No.”

“Yes, Harry. But I must say I am appreciating your new physique.”

Pissed off that he would be stuck shorter than Draco forever, he pouted petulantly at his boyfriend. Well, he tried to pout at his boyfriend, before his lips were captured in a kiss by said boyfriend, before he had to tilt his head up to kiss said boyfriend again.

Damn it.

(if anyone has prompts please send them to me! my box is open! and im bored in quarantine)

At the Slytherin table

Draco: I wonder if Potter is gay

Pansy: I thought you pride yourself at having a good gaydar

Draco: I have no idea anymore. My gaydar gets confused with my pleasebegaydar.

Blaise: lmao me, i need someone with a good gaydar to run it on the golden trio

*(three gay sighs/three gays sigh)

Well, I mean…. wouldnt we all?!? Its the only time shes actually allowed to kiss her stunningly hot, funny, sweet, MARRIED, co-worker! Can’t blame the girl for making the most of it when she gets the chance!