NishinoyaYū⚡️

daichi: I’m calling to check in before I get in the flight. everything okay?

tanaka: okay? let’s just say if the house could talk she would say ‘I’ve never been happier I love tanaka’

daichi: oh, that’s interesting because I think the house might say ‘tanaka’s a load and I’m on fire’.

tanaka: what’s that now?

daichi: the security company called me about the alarm.

tanaka: okay, the house was never on fire. noya was on fire and only on his pants and we put it out.

daichi: I’m coming home right now.

okay so I’ve been gone for a minute because I was writing my first fic on ao3 but I’m back with more trash than ever! I really love crack fics and my friend and I thought up this absolutely GREASY premise and I just couldn’t help myself. I only included a few of my ideas in this post but let me know if yall like it and maybe I’ll do a part 2

Haikyuu!! Frat House AU

• Bokubro is obviously a member of the frat, he’s also a minor drug dealer with Kuroo, and his room is L I T E R A L L Y DISGUSTANG, like Kuroo actually has a fear of Bokuto’s side of their room. People are baffled, BAFFLED when they find out that his boyfriend is non other than Akaashi, president of the most prestigious fraternity on campus. But what can akaashi say? he believes any guy who can drink his weight in vodka, take at least three different unnameable drugs, and still smile at him the morning after, deserves his attention.
• Kuroo took one for the team when he rushed, and roomed with Bokuto. Needless to say, his quiet gamer boyfriend, Kenma, refuses to stay over. When they first met at one of the frat’s infamous ragers, they’d stumbled into Kuroo’s shared room, heading toward a drunk hook up. Then Kenma put his hand in something wet. And very much alive. That was the first and last time. Bokuto and him irritate everyone by constantly referring to themselves as “businessmen”, only to be immediately informed by Iwaizumi and Daichi that “selling drugs to high schoolers doesn’t make you business men”
• Daichi didn’t want to be in charge, but duty calls and when you and Iwaizumi are the only sane ones in the house, well a man has to step up. Plus, it totally gains him brownie points with all of the trashy college girls that show up to their notorious parties. because he was totally interested in that, and definetly not in the chaotic silver haired boy from the competing fraternity. no he wanted nothing to do with Sugawara. It’s not like he catches himself openly fantasizing about him, and the whole house made it into a running joke.
• Iwaizumi is also in charge, to no one’s surprise. he and daichi have the cleanest room in the house, not only that but he’s the only one who will do dishes. he’s exhausted. he’s also sleeping with Oikawa Tooru the single most irritating member of the prestigious fraternity suga and akaashi are in. but don’t mention it, don’t talk about the way he blushes when oikawa throws it back, and DEFINETLY don’t bring up the time Oikawa broke his knee sneaking out of Iwaizumi’s room, and spent an entire semester harassing iwaizumi on a bright pink motorized scooter.
• Ushijima doesn’t really care enough to be in charge. Mans is a FARMER if you catch my drift, and he makes fat stacks off of his “business” with Kuroo and Bokuto. once spent the entirety of his rush week in a maid’s costume. but hey he’s not complaining, it did get him the attention of that really weird dude from his leisure cooking class. he and Tendou are possibly the only couple that have it all figured out so kudos to them, three years strong
• the miya twins are living frat legends, and they have been since their first party, at which Osamu got wasted and punched an equally wasted atsumu in the face for “breathing too loud”. Atsumu seems like he sleeps around a lot, and maybe he did, but the guy won’t stop simping for a very reserved chem major named Sakusa. sakusa gave into atsumu’s begging once and woke up on a stained mattress in Vegas for his trouble.
• Terushima is also there, making each party a little bit more chaotic and sleeping his way through ever girl on campus, except for kiyoko and yachi, the other guys were oddly protective of them. make no mistake though, terushima was a loveable himbo, who made extra sure that safe, sane , and consensual relations were his top priority. during hell week, he had to poop in a target dumpster, but daichi and iwaizumi didn’t keep a good look out for him, he narrowly avoided getting arrested. NARROWLY.
• Nishinoya and Tanaka rushed together. it went exactly how you think it did. Daichi and iwaizumi swore up and down that if they weren’t desperate for new pledges, they would’ve never let those two in after they set the toilet on fire. Tanaka got really smacked one night and took a vow to abstain from any hook ups until he and Kiyoko (the hot girl from that one sorority) were engaged. Noya holds him to it and it’s actually really wholesome. Noya on the other hand is battling a low grade obsession with the anxious design major from Akaashi’s fraternity. everytime Asahi gets inebriated he’s instantly the life of the party, and if Noya wasn’t already in love, that time drunk Asahi took his clothes off and swam in the city fountain with him really cemented it.
• kyoutani hates that little snot from the other fraternity….what was his name? mini oikawa, super prissy and whiny….YaHAbA. Kyoutani won Iwazumi’s admiration when he took his rush like a champ, obliterating keg stands and hair removal alike. everyone thinks it’s really funny because they’re basically the same person down to the snotty, prissy, irritating boyfriends they won’t admit they have.
• Ennoshita is the mini daichi, and he’s a simp for Tanaka. constantly pulling him back from fights, and rubbing his back when he throws up. maybe someday Tanaka might notice….
• Lev is possibly the dumbest rush they have ever received and also the most fun. his natural talent for shotgunning and dangerous drunken adventures, makes him a favorite. he ripped his pants in front of the entire student body during his rush, on purpose. like he wanted it to happen. still to this day, no one understands why. he’s been simping for yaku as long as he’s been in college, so two whole months. to the outside world, it looks like the angry little man wouldn’t think twice about the lowly freshman, but lev’s been in enough closets with him to know that that’s just not true.
• kindaichi just adds to the madness, he’s an anxious peacemaker with an epic talent as a lightweight, and a massive crush on his apathetic roommate, kunimi. Kunimi regretted joining the frat the first time he watched Bokuto peel string cheese with his toes.
• Hinata and Kageyama are rushing at the same time. Tobio Swageyama is made for Greek life, but Hinata can barely do a keg stand. So naturally they are paired together through the rush callenges. This results in the loss of no less than six pairs of pants, a completely bald (no eyebrows) Kageyama, and an upside down lower back tattoo reading “boke”, sometimes they get a little too spicy at parties and take the whole “kiss the homies goodnight” thing to a whole other level

I’ve been really into the concept of past lives recently, and I thought it would be really fun to post my take on the Haikyuu pairs, and past lives/historical au’s. So here is some steamy, self indulgent T R A S H! This is going to be pretty flawed and there is definetly some movie references in here as well as some historical inaccuracies but I did my best. Also there are no happy endings because I thought that might be pretty unrealistic based on treatment of actual gay men in history.

TW: Suicide, Hate Crimes, Gun Violence

• Iwaioi is obviously reminiscent of Alexander the Great and his “best bro" Hephastion. Oikawa was the Grand King, destined for greatness from the moment he was born. Iwaizumi was born among corpses and dirt, exiled to Oikawa’s kingdom, a twelfth son, useless. He lived as a lonely peasant, starving, until he joined the king’s guard. He liked to tell himself he trained with Oikawa because he admired Oikawa’s hard earned skill, and he believed that right up until he died at the end of the prodigy, Kageyama’s blade. After intercepting a strike that would’ve inevitably killed the Great King. He falls, looking into Oikawa’s shocked eyes, bright, and full of tears as he cradled Iwa to his chest. Iwaizumi merely sighed, still unable to touch the man he loved, lest he ruin his life by exposing his feelings. He dies to the violent, primal screams of his love, and he becomes distantly aware of a missed opportunity, as Oikawa’s reciprocation of Iwaizumi’s feelings becomes more obvious with each throat tearing wail. It’s clear that he will die without Iwaizumi, but everyone already knew that.
• Daisuga has just graduated in the summer of 1967, and they’ve been stealing moments with each other from the moment Suga transferred to Daichi’s school sophomore year. And Daichi hated himself for it, he was quarterback, and he had the prettiest girl in school. So why was he so smitten with this nerd? This delicate pretty boy made his blood run hot and his heart skip. He was in love, and damn it if Suga hadn’t made it obvious that he felt the same. Daichi had to put a stop to this before someone found out and it ruined his life. Suga heard it from a freshman, the handsome senior, Daichi was going to marry his girlfriend, Michimiya Yui. It made it so much easier to go to Vietnam when he won the draft lottery system. Daichi came to apologize only to find that Suga was gone. Forever. He wrote. Suga ignored it all. Daichi talked with Suga’s mother every weekend hoping to collect any information he could, until the news finally broke, Koushi wasn’t coming back from ‘Nam. Daichi married Michimiya with an empty heart and dead eyes, the fact that they found Suga’s corpse clutching one of Daichi’s letters replaying in his mind as Michimiya read her vows. They had three kids, Daichi killed himself on what would’ve been Suga’s fifty first birthday.
• Kuroken has been side by side for years, Kenma serving as prohibition criminal Kuroo’s right hand man. Kuroo has never shown interest in a woman, the rest of the gang doesn’t say a word though their suspicious glances between him and Kenma speak volumes. And they’re absolutely right, Kenma is everything short of a mob wife. All pretty hair and violent tendencies, Kenma values no one’s life, not even his own, but he can’t help but value Kuroo in a such a loving way. They die together, when everything falls apart and the feds are chasing them, bullets shatter the car, ripping everything but their hands apart. Those will stay intertwined forever.
• Ushijima was okay with his job, he lived such a sparse simple life, and it was enough for him, the life of a holy man. Until he saw Satori, a young man no older than him, residing in a dark hole of the desolate mental facility he was blessing. The sisters merely dismissed him when he inquired as to why the man was in there in the first place. So he took upon himself to talk to the boy and get to the bottom of this. He didn’t mean to fall in love with the beautiful, unhinged and unholy Tendo. He didn’t mean to commit the ultimate sin, to forsake his faith, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret feeling what he felt for Tendo. The only thing he actually regretted was never protecting Satori the way he wanted to. Never scooping his love in his arms and running away from that foul life. The tears that caught in his throat when he came to Tendo only to find him bald, scarred, and permanently empty, shook him to his core. They dug in his brain and ripped out everything dear to Ushijima, they tore a part that beautiful mind all because they couldn’t understand it. Ushijima swallowed his tears, and mustered his courage, he was going to save Tendo now, even if it would cost him his soul. His big hands wrapped around Tendo’s throat, and didn’t release until Tendo’s empty eyes went out. He died years later in a prison cell. Maybe he and Tendo could have each other, in the next life.
• The village did not like Nishinoya, nor did his family. He for the life of him, could not be modest and quiet like the rest of the puritans. He did not go to church, nor did he read the gospel, he ran about in the woods, tricky and mysterious. The governor’s son, Asahi, can’t help but be entranced, he is a scholar after all. And he only follows Noya into the dark wood for "scholarly” purposes, he definetly wasn’t thrilled when Noya pinned his large body against one of the dark twisty tree trunks deep within the wood. Asahi comes to two very troubling conclusions that night, the village was wrong, Noya was not a witch at all, and Azumane would never be able to keep himself away from Noya not matter the cost. It was over for them the moment they were discovered, Noya wrapped in Asahi’s arms. The villagers convinced themselves that Asahi had been put under a curse by Yuu, despite Asahi’s violent objections, and surprisingly brave declaration of love. Noya smiled softly as they touched the torch to his feet, and as the flames ate the innocent man up, Asahi screamed begging the whole village to burn him instead, Yuu was innocent take him instead. Asahi stayed only long enough to press a gentle kiss to Yuu’s now burnt face, just to show the villagers their love was true and deep, not the by product of some cheap curse. While they were all in shock, he slipped into the dark wood, and never was heard from again.
• Hinata considered it an insane stroke of luck when he secured a third class ticket aboard the ship of dreams, the Titanic. He bid his mother and Natsu farewell, hoping to secure a job in the new world, and make enough funds to secure them a passage to America one day. His shipmate is horrible though, all cold blue eyes and pompous attitude, until one night when Kageyama surprisingly offers Hinata a drink. Not wanting to refuse, they obviously get smashed drunk, and with pretty pink cheeks, Kageyama grabs Hinata’s face gently. “ i jus’ think no guy should be so damn beautiful” kageyama whispers sleepily, and maybe it’s the liquor, but Hinata doesn’t hesitate to lean in and initiate a kiss. When Kageyama doesn’t pull away, Hinata crawls into his lap. They fit like puzzle pieces and now Kageyama can’t even imagine wanting to kiss anyone else. They make plans to take the new world on, learning fairly quick that they are stronger together. And then there’s water and panic and Kageyama and Hinata are trying to rush a gate because Jesus, there are kids down there. Just because they are poor doesn’t mean they deserve to die, but unfortunately someone seems to think otherwise, because the gate remains in place. They finally stop when the water is up to their waists, and a sad looking elderly woman tells them they’ve done what they could. Tearful children and somber mothers nod in agreement, and it is unsaid that they would go to their respective beds and try to rest so that they might go in their sleep. They lay together on the top bunk and even as the water slips above their heads and they begin to die, their arms hold tight, and Kageyama mouths one last “I love you” Hinata’s fingers in his hair the last thing he feels.
• Bokuto is in love with an heiress across the lake, he’s never met her but is sure she is made for him. Akaashi is in love with a rich man right next to him, but that man sees Akaashi as no more than his lowley servant. Akaashi is in love with Bokuto, maybe that is why he involved himself in that horrible mess. He was always getting involved in horrible messes for Bokuto’s sake. It was the height of Gatsby era glamor, and Bokuto, though he never did really like parties, was always throwing them, insisting Akaashi rather than work the parties, served as his right hand man. Akaashi always knew Bokuto was hoping he would meet his heiress at one of his parties, and if it made Bokuto happy, Akaashi hoped she would show up too, no matter how much it would hurt. And eventually she did, along with her husband, and she broke Bokuto’s heart after a very miserable and short lived affair, for her it was nothing, but Bokuto always fell so hard and fast, he was distraught. Akaashi acted on instinct, pulling Bokuto into his arms no matter what line he was crossing, and smoothing his hair in attempt to sooth the crying man. Things became clear to Bokuto then. His tears ceased as he breathed in Akaashi’s soft scent, wrapping his arm around the beautiful man’s waist. They were in love then, finally on the same page for a blissful few months, until Bokuto’s affair was made public, and he was found beaten to death in an alley. Despite all of his generosity and glamor in the past years, Akaashi and Kuroo were the only guests at Bokuto’s funeral. Akaashi never recovered from the loss, he knew Bokuto wouldn’t have wanted him to do it, but that didn’t stop the smile on his face as he smashed the heiress beneath his tires.
• Tsukishima had been protecting Yamaguchi for as long as he could remember, always getting in fights and taking beatings to protect his beautiful best friend. He knew boys weren’t supposed to be pretty, he knew what happened to boys like Yamaguchi in the eighties, but that didn’t ever stop him. Not even when Yamaguchi worked up all his courage and told Tsukki he loved him during their freshman year. Tsukki was angry at Yamaguchi for saying that, because he felt the same and he knew that he had to hide it if he wanted to survive. His controlled slipped for a second when Yamaguchi pressed their lips together gently, Tsukki allowed himself to dream one last time before he yanked himself away. He immediately began hurling slurs and abuse at Yamaguchi, things he knew would send the other boy running. And it did. But soon Kei felt an unexplainable urge to go after him, a sinking feeling that something horrible was gonna happen. Yamaguchi did not cry, he held his chin high, no matter how hard the boys hit him or cut him. He didn’t care if he died but he wasn’t gonna do it staring at his feet like a kicked puppy. Kei found him like that, full of fire and courage as he stared down his abusers. The love he felt made Kei’s legs shake, and he knew he’d do whatever he could to save Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi smiled with too much glee for a dead man as Tsukki forced his way to his side, gripping his hand. There were eight of them, with murder in their eyes, Tsukki knew before he even got to Yamaguchi that they weren’t making it out of this one.
• Lev and Yaku find each other in 1700s France, Lev is a soft pretty boy, living a luxurious life in the aristocracy. Until he is thrown to the wolves after the loss of his parents, he is ten when he spends his first night on the street. He is nearly taken by a brothel right away, until he is saved by a particularly feisty thirteen year old street rat, Yaku is half his height but serves as his protector nonetheless. They pass the years protecting each other, growing to love each other, but never daring to hope for more than that. As many people in France were at the time disease riddled and starving, so were Yaku and Lev. Of course Yaku went first, he made it all the way to eighteen before he succumbed to his disease, clutching a crying Lev, comforting him even on his death bed. After that, Lev made the mistake of having hope, he joined the revolution in honor of Yaku. He just wanted to make the world a better place, a place where Yaku could’ve survived. He died bleeding from a soldier’s bullet on a barricade, but he was warm, all he saw was Yaku, holding him, carrying him into their next life.
• Yahaba always talks and Kyoutani might be always listening, but it’s hard to tell. Until Kyoutani murders his whole family in 1978. He shows up at the gas station him and Yahaba always have their one sided coversations at to find Yahaba working the counter like he always is. He ignores Yahaba’s greeting and begins frantically explaing his situation and motive, all while Yahaba looks on in shock, this is the first time Kyoutani has ever spoken to him. When he asks why Kyoutani is telling him all this, he simply sighs dismissively and says “you’re my bestfriend”, and that’s enough for Yahaba. Clearly he’s crazy, a cute boy he’s never spoken with is in the back of his car and they’re leaving the country. All because Kyoutani actually was listening and not only that, he viewed Yahaba as the most important person in his life. They had been in love from the first one sided conversation they had, and that was becoming clear now. They get caught, sent to different facilities, Kyoutani gets life, Yahaba gets a lighter sentence for being an accomplice. Though they never see each other again, Yahaba always writes letters, and for once, Kyoutani writes back. They spend their lives finally having a two sided conversation, their love never even flickers, and for them, that’s enough.

Okay so like Demigod!Haikyuu crossover is blowing my mind rn. So here is this dumpster fire

• Hinata is an ADORABLE child of Apollo, and he still loves Volleyball but he’s naturally really good at archery too! Definetly in love with Kageyama
• Kageyama looks like he’d be powerful, everyone assumes he’d be a child of Zeus, Posiedon, or Hades, but he always enjoys the look of fear in their eyes when he robs the world of light, as only a child of Nyx (goddess of the night) could, smitten with sunshine aka Hinata
• Tsukki is a son of Athena, which really didn’t shock anyone,especially not Tsukki, though he does take issue with some of his more “unexpected” siblings, whipped for Yama and formulated a business regarding a certain illicit plant
• Yamaguchi can nurture and grow things so naturally that he is claimed as a child of Demeter almost instantaneously (he definetly doesn’t grow any illegal plants with his powers) he and Tsukki have a lot of money, no one knows why
• Tanaka is a son of Aries in the most stereotypical sense and he’s found his people
• Noya loves his half brother, Tanaka, but he still absolutely destroys him in sword play, the two sons of aries are impossible on the battle field, thinks Asahi is a damsel in distress
• Enoshita is a son of Hestia, goddess of the home and hearth, because he is steady and grounded in a way that many envy
• Asahi is a son of Iris, the goddess of rainbows, because not only is he precious but he’s also inherited his mother’s eye for color, not as big on battle, Noya thinks this is adorable
• Sugawara is the head of the Aphrodite cabin, and probably the most likeable member, also probably one of the most dangerous, has a thing for sons of aries (like his mom), mainly just one son of aries
• Daichi struggles to keep his brothers in check, but no other child of aries is up for the job so as the most level headed kid in that whole cabin, Daichi steps up, when he’s not playing dad to his siblings, he’s trying to impress a particularly mischievous son of Aphrodite
• Kiyoko is a huntress of Artemis
• Yachi is a very helpful nymph
• Oikawa is Suga’s brother and the self proclaimed “hottest son of aphrodite” he likes to act like he is a ladies man but everyone knows he has eyes for one son of Aries
• Bless Iwaizumi son of aries, and the only person next to Daichi who can keep the other unruly aries children in line, says he hates oikawa but was caught in the aphrodite cabin with him, many,many times
• Kyoutani is a son of hades. No one is surprised. He hates everyone. Except Yahaba. Yahaba is okay.
• Yahaba is a particularly aggressive child of aphrodite who definetly does not want to marry a certain son of hades (suga and oikawa tease him all the time)
• It’s Kuroo he’s the unexpected child of Athena, and everyone is confused, but these things dont always make sense and Tsukki has to have something go wrong
• Kenma is a very quick witted child of Hermes who is definetly in on Tsukki and Yama’s…scheme
• Akaashi keeps the peace in the Athena cabin, and spends a considerable amount of time with a certain son of Hermes
• Bokuto is a reluctant son of Hermes, who uses most of his brain power hitting on Akaashi
• Ushijima is the son of Demeter, and knows absolutely nothing about his younger brother’s illicit plants or his boyfriend’s (tendou) inate proclivity for maddness
• Tendou is the freakiest son of Dionysus ever, he positively reeks of madness and Ushijima

Yoooo long time no posting but I’m more active on Instagram : byboem ✌

A WILD VOLLEYBALL HEDGEHOG HAS APPEARED

noya is the cutest little mischief