#incorrect mcu
Natasha: I’m a woman of action. You have to act first and learn to apologize later, like I do.
Steve: You never apologize.
Natasha: Well, I would if I had ever been wrong.
Thor: You know Loki, not every problem can be solved with a knife.
Loki: That’s why I carry many.
What’s Hawkeye’s favorite store? Target.
Wanda: It’s not criminal to be a girlboss
[staring into the camera with a small grin]
sam: when bucky’s mad at me I tighten the lids on all of our jars so he has to ask me for help
[sound of glass breaking in the other room]
sam: it doesn’t always work, though
Peter: Dad, relax. I don’t need advice, I just need $1,500.
Tony: Oh, good! That I can do.
Peter: i don’t think i can stay in the same house as the father who ruined my life
tony: for christ’s sake.
tony, cont.: i’ll buy you more capri-suns in the morning…
Peter: so then i got kicked out of the family business for good because apparently i am a “liability” and “reckless” and “Peter”. The last one’s just my name but you should hear their tone.
Tony, to Peter: you’re starting to forget your Spanish. you don’t practice.
Peter: lo siento papa. estoy embarazada
Tony: you just told me you’re pregnant.
Harley: congratulations. you’re glowing.
At Tony’s wedding
Bruce: The maid of honor, I presume.
Natasha: The best man, I gather.
thor: i would like to make a reservation for two at 6:00pm.
server: sir,this is a mcdonalds
thor: oh my bad. i’d like a mcreservation for 2 at 6:00pm
bruce: thor no
